Today’s scene that I love is one of the greatest television moments of the past ten years. It’s one that I still think about on a nearly daily basis.
Oddly, ever since it went off the air, there’s been an attempt on the part of the media to pretend that Selina Meyer was meant to be some sort of inspiring figure. This scenes reminds us that she wasn’t even supposed to be likable.
(I groaned when the cast of Veep reunited to support Kamala Harris in 2024 because Veep was literally the last show that Harris should have been trying to remind people of.)
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!
It’s the aftermath of Zack and Kelly’s break-up! Who will survive!?
Episode 3.5 “The Aftermath”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 21st, 1991)
Last week, Kelly got a job at The Max and developed a crush on her boss, Jeff (Patrick Muldoon). Zack and Kelly broke up at the school dance. Kelly asked Zack if they could still be friends. “Always,” Zack said.
It turns out that Zack was lying. This episode finds him bitter and obsessed. Screech and Slater take him out to the movies but — oh no! — Kelly and Jeff walk in. Jessie, Lisa, and Screech each set Zack up on a blind date. Zack goes out with Jessie’s fat friend and she eats all of his popcorn. Lisa’s friend is more interested in talking about the books of Jackie Collins than watching the movie. And Screech’s cousin turns out to be a perfectly nice and pretty blonde. (“She’s adopted,” Screech explains.)
Zack takes Screech’s cousin to The Max and dances with her… in front of Kelly! And they’re dancing to… A12 on the jukebox! “That’s Zack and Kelly’s song!” Screech says. Apparently, it’s a song that doesn’t have a title or much of a beat. “A12 is sacred!” Kelly says. “It was sacred until you dumped me for that jerk!” Zack says.
Now, I’m a bit torn here. Zack’s definitely in the wrong here, but is A12 actually sacred? I mean, it’s not mentioned in any other episode. And while Zack is definitely trying to make Kelly feel bad, Kelly is being pretty self-righteous for someone who didn’t break up with her boyfriend until after she kissed another guy. I guess my feeling is that sacred songs pretty much went out the window as soon as Kelly and Zack broke up.
Anyway, Screech’s cousin throws her milkshake on Zack.
Lisa’s Sweet Sixteen birthday party is approaching! Zack says he won’t come if Kelly and Jeff are invited. Lisa tells him that she’ll invite whoever she wants. At first, Zack refuses to go to the party, but then Screech has a heart-to-heart talk with him. Screech basically tells Zack that he’s being a whiny loser. Imagine what it must have been like to hear that from Screech, of all people.
Kelly and Jeff show up at the party. At first, Slater shows admirable loyalty to his friend Zack by giving Jeff the cold shoulder. Then Jeff mentions that he wrestled in high school. “Won my division a few times,” Jeff says. That’s all it takes for Slater to be like, “Zack who?”
Zack does come to the party. He apologizes for being a jerk. He tells Jeff to take care of Kelly. Zack tells us that he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get over Kelly. We’re left to wonder why he doesn’t just stop time if he’s so miserable…
This episode benefits from the presence of Patrick Muldoon, who makes Jeff into a likable “frat boy babe stealer.” It’s too bad that, in his next appearance, Jeff will have had a total personality transplant, because this episode actually made a pretty good point about the importance of accepting breakups and giving people a chance.
Again, I didn’t watch much TV this week. I wish I could say that it was because I was busy watching horror movies in anticipation of Horrorthon but mostly it was just because I wasn’t feeling that good. I started out with a touch of arthritis in my big toe making it difficult for me to walk or sleep. Luckily that only lasted a day. However, as soon as that was vanquished, I ended getting hit by my allergies. I was congested all the way through Friday. On the plus side, I recovered enough that, on Saturday, I could go outside and spray a bunch of wasps that were trying to build a nest on the side of the empty house next to mine.
I did watch Big Brother. I kind of wrote about it over at Reality TV Chat Blog. The show just hasn’t done much for me this year.
I watched a few episodes of SCTV on Netflix. Love that Count Floyd!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, Harvey gets to do something.
Episode 2.19 “The Lost Treasure of Tower 12”
(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on April 27th, 1992)
After a season of appearing in the opening credits and rarely anywhere else, Harvey (Tom McTigue) finally gets a storyline. Because Mitch is going on a camping trip, he has Harvey replace him as the teacher of a windsurfing class. Harvey is excited because the students all attend a local girls’ school. That would presumably mean they’re teenagers, while Harvey appears to be in his thirties.
As Ben correctly deduces, Harvey has no idea how to windsurf. This becomes obvious as soon as Harvey and Ben meet the bikini-clad students on the beach. (Harvey tells all the girls to write down their phone numbers. Again: the girls are teenagers, and Harvey is definitely not.) After watching Harvey struggle with the basics, the students start to walk away. Ben steps up and announces that he can teach them. What follows is a montage of the girls windsurfing while a dejected Harvey stares straight at the camera.
That’s the B-plot. The A-plot features Michael Bendetti as Ian, a poet who lives on the beach and finds a box of stolen jewels a thief buried in the sand. Ian uses the jewelry to bankroll his courtship of Shauni. (Ian has a crush.) The thieves aren’t happy about that.
This episode just felt off. With his obsessive crush on Shauni, Ian comes across as a stalker, and yet I think we were supposed to be charmed by how relentless he was. There’s even an extended fantasy sequence in which Ian imagines dancing with Shauni under a chandelier suspended above the beach. Meanwhile, the main thief is so cruel that he throws the episode out of whack. It’s hard to reconcile a scene of Newmie and Eddie pulling a dead body out of the ocean with the lightweight humor of Harvey trying to windsurf.
This episode confirms something I’ve suspected from the moment I started reviewing this show. The early seasons of Baywatch worked best when they focused on David Hasselhoff’s somewhat corny but undeniably earnest portrayal of Mitch Buchannon. Whenever Hasselhoff isn’t in an episode (or appears in just one scene), the cynicism at the heart of the show — and the emptiness of its style-heavy approach — is much harder to ignore.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing SLEDGE HAMMER!, a cop comedy which ran on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The entire series can be found on Prime!
This week, Dori and Sledge get caught up in a hostage situation.
Episode 1.5 “Dori Day Afternoon”
(Dir by James Sheldon, originally aired on October 24th, 1986)
While driving to the bank, Dori and Sledge Hammer see a man on the ledge of a building. The man is threatening to jump. Dori says she’s going to grab a bullhorn out of the trunk so she can talk the guy down. Sledge says that won’t be necessary. He draws his gun and fires five shots at the man, barely missing him, until the terrified man goes back inside.
At the bank, Sledge is shocked when the ATM tells him that his account is overdrawn. He and Dori go inside to talk to the manager. While Sledge is trying to get some answers as to what happened to his account, two men draw guns. Cliff (Frank Doubleday) and Lou (Britt Leach) announce that they are robbing the bank and that everyone inside is going to be a hostage. Sledge has his gun with him but, after dealing with the jumper, he only has one bullet left. While Cliff negotiates with Captain Trunk, Sledge continually waits for Cliff and Lou to stand close enough together that they can both be taken out by one bullet. Unfortunately, the other hostages keep getting in the way.
This episode was okay without being particularly memorable. When you consider how silly the first three episodes of Sledge Hammer! were, it’s a bit ironic that this one suffers because it takes itself a bit too seriously. Instead of the enjoyably surreal humor of the first episode, “Dori Day Afternoon” features too many scenes of Cliff and Lou making their demands and threatening people. The episode does pick up a bit at the end, when Trunk tries to trick Cliff and Lou by giving them a plane but not a pilot. It turns out Cliff is an expert pilot. After Sledge manages to beat Cliff up, it turns out that Sledge has no idea how to fly a plane. Luckily, Dori does.
The funniest moments are the ones where Sledge struggles with his natural instinct, which is to shoot first and worry about the consequences later. David Rasche, as always, does a good job of showing just how much Sledge struggles when he’s in a situation that can’t be solved through gunplay. The funniest moment is when Trunk calls the bank and asks Sledge if the hostages have hurt anyone.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.
This week, the lights go out.
Episode 4.10 “Loss of Power”
(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 11th, 1985)
Due to a blizzard, the power has gone down in Boston. At St. Eligius, the backup generator comes to a sputtering and unreliable life. Over the course of the night shift, many things happen in the dark.
Dr. Craig successfully performs lifesaving surgery without being able to use any of the tools that surgeons have come to take for granted. After the grueling operation is completed, he leaves the ER without thanking anyone else. Dr. Wade chases after him and tells him that he should have at least told everyone that they did a good job. Dr. Craig replies that everyone did their job like they were supposed to. Just the fact that he allows them into his operating room should be thanks enough.
Pru Dowler (Amanda Wyss), the developmentally challenged teenager who was caught having sex in her hospital room a few episodes ago, returns with her mother (Terrence O’Connor). Pru has been having stomach pains and morning sickness. After Dr. Morrison confirms that Pru is pregnant, her mother says that Pru will be having an abortion. Morrison tries to talk her out of it, to no avail.
Working at the nurses’ station, Helen Rosenthal gets a summons to appear in court. Lucy is suing over the incident in which Helen slapped her.
Fiscus and Mona have sex in the hospital and, when Fiscus proposes, Mona accepts.
Elliott treats a patient who claims that he’s going to turn into either a vampire or a werewolf at midnight. Elliott thinks that the man belongs in the psych ward, but then he discovers that the man is actually suffering from a real condition that makes it difficult for him to go out during the day. The man spent so much time being made fun of for his nocturnal lifestyle that he eventually decided that he really was a vampire.
And finally, Dr. Westphall is stuck in an elevator with a claustrophobic man (Michael Des Barres) who is also named Donald. Stuck in an elevator with a stranger, Westphall does what he always does. He uses the situation as an excuse to start talking about the volunteer work he did in Ethiopia and how disappointed he is that everyone doesn’t share his attitude when it comes to community outreach. The other Donald responds by talking about the time he was thrown in jail for marijuana possession. Eventually, the other Donald dislocates his shoulder when he throws himself against the elevator doors.
Seriously, can you think of anything worse than being stuck in an elevator with Donald Westphall? Westphall is already one of the most depressing people on the planet. Now imagine being trapped in a confined space with him. Once again, this episode proves that Westphall can take any situation and turn it into a lesson about how he’s right and everyone else is wrong.
That said, I liked this episode. It reminded me of the season-one episode that featured a small group of doctors working the night shift. It was interesting to see how everyone adjusted to the darkness. This was a workplace episode in which we watched as everyone did their best under less than ideal conditions. In the end, it was obvious that Dr. Craig was correct.
His people are the best.
It would just be nice if he would let them know that once in a while.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
This week, we begin the second season!
Episode 2.1 “Case X”
(Dir by David Soul, originally aired on September 21st, 1985)
Adult-film actresses are turning up dead all over Los Angeles. Hunter and McCall have the case, and it does not take them long to see the pattern. The killer is sleazy photographer Tony Cochran (Leo Rossi), and the women are being supplied to him by former adult star turned talent agent Andrea Burden (Rita Taggart). Knowing who the murderer is and having the evidence to arrest him are two different things. After Tony murders his brother (Sam Anderson) and frames him for the crimes, it looks as if Tony might walk.
So, of course, McCall goes undercover. She joins the fitness club where Andrea works out and looks for girls. She poses in lingerie for Tony. (Just as in the first season, McCall going undercover seems to largely mean McCall wearing less clothes than usual.) And when Tony kidnaps her, it is up to Hunter to rescue her and fill Tony with lead.
In other words, the second season of Hunter opens in a style familiar to anyone who watched the first. Hunter is still a shoot-first rebel. McCall is still his continually in-peril partner. The bad guy still underestimates this violent duo. While Hunter and McCall solve the crimes and kill the villains, Bernie Terwilliger keeps trying to write them up for every infraction imaginable. In this episode, Terwilliger counts seven violations of police policy on the part of Hunter and McCall. I counted a bit more but maybe Terwilliger was trying to be charitable.
The one real change between seasons is a new commanding officer. John Amos has been replaced by Bruce Davison. As Captain Wyler, Davison wears a three-piece suit, never has a hair out of place, and bristles when Hunter refuses to follow orders. That said, Wyler congratulates Hunter at the end of the episode and tells Terwilliger to back off the ethics investigation. For once, Hunter has a boss who is not actively trying to get him kicked off the force.
The episode itself is pretty predictable. As soon as Leo Rossi’s name appeared in the guest credits, it was easy to guess who the murderer would turn out to be. Hunter is not a show about complex mysteries or shocking twists. It is a show about the chemistry between Fred Dryer and Stepfanie Kramer, and about the promise that the bad guys will be punished. This episode delivered on both.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! This Thursday, I will be reviewing Darke of the Night, which aired its only episode on the DuMont Network in 1955. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week’s pilot originally aired as a part of the Studio 57 anthology show.
Episode 1.1 “Who’s Been Sitting In My Chair?”
(Dir by David Butler, originally aired on September 10th, 1955)
Johnny Darke (Jack Carson) is the hippest and coolest DJ in all of New York City .… or, at least, he’s as hip and cool as anyone could have been in 1955. All through the night, he spins records and talks to “the ghosts” who are listening. His station manager (Joseph Kearns) tells him that his sponsor doesn’t like it when Johnny talks about ghosts, but no one tells Johnny Darke what to do.
Johnny knows that a woman has been entering his apartment while he’s at the studio, but he doesn’t know why. (What I don’t know is why Johnny doesn’t just lock his door.) Johnny suspects that the woman is Margaret Canady (Jocelyn Brando), who lived in the apartment before Johnny moved in. Margaret’s boyfriend, Vincent Marsh (H.M. Wynant), is on death row for murder, but as Johnny learns about the case, he sees it as a story about two people who love each other as opposed to a woman who fell in love with a killer.
When Vincent breaks out of prison, he steals a guard’s gun and tells the guard that he’s going to use it to kill Margaret. (That was nice of him.) The police come down to the radio station and ask Johnny if he knows where to find Margaret. Johnny says that Margaret is probably at his apartment. After the police leave (and, strangely, do not immediately head over to Johnny’s apartment), Johnny calls his place and Margaret answers the phone. Apparently, Margaret’s not very good at secretly breaking into places.
When Johnny hears Vincent arrive over the phone, he hops over to his microphone and gives a cryptic message to “the ghost in the big brown chair” that the ghost who has just arrived is not in love with her. Then Johnny goes to his apartment and talks Vincent down.
This was a pilot for a series that would have featured Johnny Darke getting involved in the lives of his listeners. Jack Carson is likable as Johnny, which almost makes up for the fact that the story itself makes absolutely no sense. Why doesn’t Johnny just lock up his apartment before he heads to work? The implication is that Margaret is sneaking into the apartment to wait for Vincent to return, but there’s also a scene where it’s revealed that she’s secretly living with the building’s landlady. That scene is never followed up on. As I already mentioned, the biggest plot hole is that the police don’t immediately head over to Johnny’s apartment when they hear that Margaret is there. If they’re so determined to catch Vincent and they know that Vincent is planning on killing Margaret, why does it take them so long to actually go to the apartment? It seems like that should have been their priority.
Interestingly enough, the pilot ends with Jack Carson stepping out of character and offering up some statistics on the value of records purchased in 1957 ($4,000,000 worth) and the number of radio stations in the country. Carson explains that DJs are everywhere and every DJ has a million stories that could be adapted for Darke of the Night. He then brings on two actual DJs, Peter Potter and Al Jarvis. Both Potter and Jarvis endorse the idea of a weekly television series about a DJ.
It’s odd but, in its way, kind of touching. Jack Carson just seems so earnest and sincere about his desire to star as a radio DJ! Unfortunately, it didn’t happen for him. The pilot aired as part of the Studio 57 anthology series and that was that. Carson may not have gotten to play a DJ on a weekly basis, but two years later he co-starred inCat on a Hot Tin Roof with Paul Newman and Elizabeth Taylor. Carson passed away in 1963 at the far too young age of 52, but he’ll live forever wherever classic movies are appreciated.
Through the Shattered Lens 