Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.1 and 2.2 “Nightmare Cove”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, we start season 2 of Baywatch.  Canceled by NBC, Baywatch found a new home in syndication.  The show was re-launched with a special two-hour premiere.  (For subsequent re-airings, the premiere was split into two episodes.)

Episode 2.1 and 2.2 “Nightmare Cove”

(Dir by Gregory J. Bonnan, originally aired on September 23rd, 1991)

A year and half after the final episode of Bayside’s network run, the show returns to the beach.

On the one hand, the basic idea is the same.  David Hasselhoff plays Mitch Buchanan, a divorced father who loves nothing more than being a lifeguard.  Eddie (Billy Warlock) and Shauni (Erika Eleniak) are two young lifeguards who are in love (though their engagement from the previous season is not mentioned).  Don Thorpe (Monte Markham) is Mitch’s no-nonsense boss. The sunsets are still beautiful.  The beaches are still inviting.

And yet, there are a few differences:

  1. Craig, Cort, Gina, Garner, and Trevor are nowhere to be seen.  (Craig, Cort, and Garner will all eventually return.  Gina and Trevor will never be mentioned again.)
  2. Hobie, Mitch’s son, is now played by Jeremy Jackson.
  3. Richard Jaeckel, who played doomed life guard Al Edwards in the pilot film, is now playing Ben Edwards, who apparently is meant to be the same character as Al.  (Mitch specifically mentions that Ben broke his leg when the pier collapsed, retconning Al’s heroic death into a mere injury.)
  4. Cort may be gone but there’s a new money-hungry lifeguard named Harvey (Tim McTigue).
  5. The second season premiere features even more musical montages than appeared in the first season.
  6. The second season premiere features a lot of random shots of women in skimpy bikinis.
  7. The red Baywatch one-piece swimsuits are back but now, they’re considerably tighter and more high-cut.
  8. The new Baywatch was airing in syndication.

I get the feeling that the Baywatch cameraman probably got together and all chanted, “Syndication, baby!” before running out onto the beach.  Even though the second season premiere is still far from what Baywatch would eventually become, one can already see the development of the aesthetic that led to it becoming the number one show for 90s frat boys and dads suffering from a midlife crisis.

As for this episode, there are rumors of an underwater monster and everyone wants in on the action.  Mitch saves an underwater photographer and falls in love for an episode.  Hasslehoff’s then-wife, Pamela Bach, plays a reporter whose editor wants sensationalized stories about the “beast of the bay.”  Of course, the beast of the bay is actually just the creation of an offshore oil company who wants to drill and ruin the environment because why not?  Luckily, one of the lifeguard, Devon (Andrea Thompson), is also an environmental activist.  Of course, Andrea Thompson is not listed in the opening credits so I imagine we’ll never see Devon again.

While Mitch is investigating the monster, Shauni rescues a little girl from drowning and then gets involved in the family’s life.  The family is black and the little girl’s brother is being recruited by a street gang so the very white Shauni arranges from him to join the junior lifeguards instead.  Shauni’s critical father (Albert Stratton) is impressed but I have to admit that I found the storyline to be a bit condescending.  Like a lot of 90s shows, Baywatch was at its weakest when it tried to deal with real-life issues.  It’s hard not to notice that whenever a guest actor who wasn’t white showed up on episode of Baywatch, they were always either being tempted or pressured to join a gang or they were trying to get out of the gang lifestyle.

In this episode, there’s an odd moment when Hobie decides to go into a storm drain and pretend to be the monster, which leads to a panic on the beach and monster hunters showing up with guns.  Mitch shows up and ends the situation before it gets too out-of-hand but you really do have to wonder if maybe Hobie would be better off with his mother.  I mean, seriously, Mitch — what are you doing here?  Your son is apparently an idiot who never learned anything from the dozen or so times his life was put in danger during the first season.

Finally, Thorpe gets promoted and he wants Mitch to take his place as chief.  Mitch argues that the new chief should be Ben Edwards.  Since apparently Ben has the power to come back from the dead, I can see Mitch’s logic.  In the end, Thorpe agrees.

And that’s it for this episode.  It’s definitely Baywatch but it’s still not quite as fun as the show would eventually become once it fully embraced just how ludicrous things could get in syndication.  This episode — and I imagine the rest of this season — feels like a show that is still making the transition from network television to anything-goes syndication.  Eventually, the show will get David Charvet, Pamela Anderson, and David “The Bulge” Chokachi.  During season 2, it was still just Billy Warlock and Erika Eleniak.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.3 “Second Wave”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

Trouble comes to Malibu!

Episode 1.3 “Second Wave”

(Dir by Scott Brazil, originally aired on October 13th, 1989)

Jimmy Roche (Daniel Quinn), an old friend-turned-enemy of Eddie’s, is in Malibu and he and his gang are eager to give Eddie a hard time.  When Eddie tries to rescue a man in the water, Jimmy trips him and then plays keep-away with Eddie rescue can.  Dang, these guys are hardcore!

Eddie doesn’t want to tell anyone about his past, even after Jimmy files an assault complaint against him.  (Eddie was provoked into throwing a punch.)  Jimmy threatens to robs Gina and Craig unless Eddie gives him some money.  Eddie agrees to meet with Jimmy but then tells the cops.  Garner Ellerbee decides to set up an undercover sting, which basically means that Garner stands next to Eddie while Eddie waits for Jimmy to show up.  Somehow, Jimmy figures out what’s going on.  Looks like Eddie will just have to beat Jimmy up on the beach and prove that he’s no longer a delinquent from Philadelphia.

That would be an intense storyline, if not for the fact that Jimmy himself comes across as being kind of a wimp.  I mean, a young David Spade is a member of his gang!  Eddie allows himself to be intimidated by a young David Spade!  Think about that.  This storyline just made Eddie seem  kind of dumb,

Meanwhile, a young Mariska Hargitay gave a terrible performance as Lisa (hey!), the daughter of the head of the country club.  Lisa (!) decided to pursue a romance with the country club’s lifeguard, Trevor, as a way of upsetting her father.  When Lisa (!) jumped into the ocean to make a point (though I’m not sure what point), Trevor rescued her.  However, Lisa (!) later went into shock because she still had water in her lungs.  Trevor was able to get her to the hospital in time but he learned an important lesson about not being a cocky lifeguard.

“The county lifeguards know about secondary drowning,” he’s told.

Okay, so why wouldn’t Trevor know about that?  The whole idea behind Trevor’s character is that he was a hotshot lifeguard in Australia before he came to California.  So, is the show implying that he wasn’t trained in lifeguard basics in Australia because given how famous Australia is for its beaches, I find that hard to believe.

Anyway, after she recovers Lisa (!) announces that she’s going back to New York and Trevor realizes that she was only using him to make her father angry.  Trevor stops by Baywatch HQ and talks to Mitch and admits that he doesn’t enjoy working as a lifeguard.  Lifeguard Jill Riley gives him a sympathetic look.  It looks like they’re falling in love but I’ve seen this series before so I already know that Jill is going to get eaten by a shark and Trevor is going to vanish after a few more episodes.

This episode could have used a shark.

We love you, Roboshark!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.8 “Last Breath”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Some people stand in the darkness …. let’s get back to reviewing Baywatch Nights!  I’ve missed talking about this silly show.

Episode 2.8 “Last Breath”

(Dir by Gregory J. Bonnan, originally aired on November 17th, 1996)

Lifeguards are disappearing!

After hearing the sounds of someone shouting for help in the distance, three lifeguards — including Donna — vanish while investigating.  It’s assumed that they’ve drowned but Mitch has his doubts.  And it turns out that Mitch is correct!  This is an evil haunting the sea and yes, it’s stalking lifeguards.

What type of evil is it?

Is it a sea monster?

Is it a ghost?

Is it an alien creature?

How about a mutant octopus?

Maybe a dinosaur of some sort?

Could it be an unfrozen Viking or a vampire or a time traveler or a….

Well, you get the idea.  And really, it should have been one of those things.  The second season of Baywatch Nights was all about David Hasselhoff and Angie Harmon investigating supernatural ocean stuff.  It was specifically designed to be X-Files on the beach.  We’ve all heard the urban legend of the weeping woman who haunts lakes.  As soon as the lifeguards heard those shouts, I assumed this episode would feature an ocean version of La Llorona.

Well, it turns out I was wrong.  Instead, the lifeguard are being kidnapped by a man who blames them for the death of his family in a car accident.  The madman (Brett Baxter Clark), who is not at all supernatural, is keeping the lifeguards trapped in a cage.  (How do random madmen always manage to have a super-strong cage just lying around?)  He wants to recreate the accident that led to the death of his family.  Can Mitch track the cage down and rescue his lifeguards?

This episode was disappointing on many levels, with the main problem being that there was really nothing to distinguish it from a typical episode of Baywatch.  All it needed was to open with that Some People Stand In The Darkness song for it to be an episode of Baywatch.  When you watch the second season of Baywatch Nights, you’re watching because you want to see David Hasselhoff and Angie Harmon pretending to be Mulder and Scully.  You watch it because you want to see a combination of swimsuits and supernatural phenomena.  Once you take away the supernatural, you take away this show’s main appeal.

That said, if you were a fan of the original Baywatch, you may enjoy certain parts of this episode. Newmie shows up!  At first, I was like, “Don’t you dare kidnap Newmie!” but, fortunately, Newmie was too clever to fall for any traps.

Next week, the supernatural will return to the beach!