Jann Wenner | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988. The entire show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Luca prepares for Vegas.

Episode 1.15 “Torello On Trial”

(Dir by Gary Sinise, originally aired on January 16th, 1987)

Buh-bye, Chicago!

Seriously, this is a huge episode.

It doesn’t start out as a huge episode. It starts out as just another courtroom drama. Mike Torello has been called by Ray Luca’s defense attorney to testify about the accusations that Frank Homan made against him. By defending himself against Homan’s false claim that Torello was on the take, Torello will also be destroying the credibility of the state’s case against Luca, Phil Bartoli, and Paulie. Torello’s not happy about it. He’s even less happy when U.S. Attorney Brietel’s aggressive cross-examination reveals that Torello actually does have several acquaintances who are connected to the mob. Of course, most of those acquaintances have been killed over the past few episodes. As Brietel puts it, violence tends to follow Torello around.

Fortunately, the next day, David Abrams requests to be allowed to cross-examine Torello. David reveals that Torello was a decorated soldier in Korea. He reveals the Torello has been given regular commendations by the Chicago Police Department. David makes Torello look like a saint.

As a result, the jury decides that Homan is not a credible witness. Luca, Paulie, and Bartoli are all acquitted. Brietel is told that the Justice Department has decided to drop the indictment against Torello. Torello tells Brietel that the blood of anyone killed by Luca will be on his hands. Brietel is not having a good day.

The first 35 minutes or so of this episode were solid but still felt like a standard and slightly predictable episode of Crime Story. It wasn’t until the last 10 minutes or so that this episode really took off.

At a conference held immediately after Luca and company are acquitted, Manny Weisbrod convinces Chicago gangster Dom Tranchita (Joseph Ragno) to agree to invest ten million dollars in Luca’s plan to take over Las Vegas. In return for the money, Manny agrees to allow Dom to continue to deal drugs in Chicago. Luca and Paulie make plans to immediately head to Las Vegas to start their new lives.

The night, before leaving town, Luca drops in on Tranchita and shoots him dead. Then, Luca goes over to Bartoli’s house and kills him as well. We’re reminded that Luca is someone who can kill without hesitation. It doesn’t matter that he and Bartoli worked together. Luca is cleaning up all of the loose ends before he leaves Chicago.

Meanwhile, Torello is invited to a meeting in a hotel. U.S. Deputy Attorney General Patrick Hallahan (Jann Wenner) tells him that the Justice Department is setting up a national task force to take down Luca and that it’s going to be headquartered in Chicago and Las Vegas. He asks Torello to be in charge of it. Torello says that he has no interest in working with the same Justice Department that tried to throw him in prison. Hallahan reveals that Brietel has been “reassigned to Anchorage” and that David Abrams will be working with Torello. The members of the Major Crimes Unit will be reassigned to the strike force.

There’s only one condition. As much as Torello wants to take Luca down, he’s going to have to wait until he has enough evidence to take down the entire organization with him.

Torello nods. He’s going to Vegas!

It makes sense really. Torello has nothing left in Chicago. He’s divorced, he has no real friends outside of the other members of the Major Crimes Unit. Torello’s only purpose in life is to stop Ray Luca. What choice does Torello have but to follow him to Vegas? Torello is obsessed and, if he had to stay in Chicago while Luca went to Vegas, he would have been miserable. It’s good for the government and good for the show that Torello agreed to take charge of the task force. But, as the episode ends, it’s hard not to feel that it won’t be good for Torello’s mental health.

This turned out to be a great episode, To be honest, I was starting to get a little bit bored with Crime Story. But now, with the story heading in a new direction, I can’t wait to see what happens!

Okay,before reviewing the 1985 film Perfect, I have three things to say.

Number one, I nearly captioned the picture above “John Travolta, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Little Xenu.” And then I laughed and laughed. But, in the end, I resisted temptation because I’m an adult now.

Number two, Perfect came out in June in 1985, a few months before I was born. As a result, I have no idea what the 1985 reviews looked like. However, it still seems to me that you’re taking a big risk when you give a movie a title like Perfect, especially when the movie itself is far from perfect. How many reviews opened with, “Perfect fails to live up to its name…”

And finally, as a result of seeing both this film and Staying Alive, I have to say, “What the Hell, John Travolta?” Seriously, what the Hell was going on? John Travolta gave a great performance in the 1970s, with Saturday Night Fever. And then in the 1990s, he was good in Pulp Fiction, Get Shorty, Face/Off, Primary Colors, and a few others. (For our purposes here, we shall pretend that Battlefield Earth never happened.) Even though most of Travolta’s recent films have been forgettable, his performances have generally been adequate.

So, seriously, John — what was going on in the 80s? Because judging from both Perfect and Staying Alive, John Travolta apparently totally forgot how to act during that decade. When I reviewed Staying Alive, I said that Travolta’s performance managed to create a whole new definition of bad. But he’s actually even worse in Perfect. It helped, of course, that in Staying Alive, Travolta’s character was supposed to be stupid. In Perfect, on the other hand, he’s actually supposed to be a brilliant reporter.

Or, at the very least, he’s supposed to be brilliant by the standards of Rolling Stone. Travolta plays Adam Lawrence, an award-winning reporter for Rolling Stone. The magazine, by the way, plays itself and so does its publisher, Jann Wenner (though his character is technically named Mark Roth). What’s interesting is that the film itself doesn’t necessarily paint a flattering picture of Rolling Stone or Jann Wenner, though admittedly a lot of that is due to the fact that Wenner himself gives a performance that is even worse than Travolta’s. It’s impossible to watch Perfect without thinking about the fact that Adam is writing for the same magazine that would eventually put Dzokhar Tsarnaev on the cover and publish the UVA rape story.

Anyway, if I seem to avoiding talking about the exact plot of Perfect, that’s because there’s not really much of a plot to describe. Adam, a hard-hitting investigative journalist, is doing research on a story about how people are hooking up at gyms. Wenner agrees. “We haven’t done L.A. in a while!” he says. Adams joins the a gym called the Sports Connection, which he is soon calling “The Sports Erection” because he’s a super clever reporter. He falls in love with an aerobics instructor, who is played by Jamie Lee Curtis. She doesn’t trust reporters but is eventually won over by Travolta’s … well, who knows? Mostly she’s won over because the plot needs some conflict. She gets on Adam’s computer and she types, “Want to fuck?” Adam says sure but then tries too hard to dig into the dark secret from her past. “You’re a sphincter muscle!” she shouts as him. Adam writes a compassionate and balanced article about the Sports Connection. Wenner edits the article and turn it into a sordid hit piece. (And again, you wonder why Wenner agreed to play himself.) Feelings are hurt, issues are resolved, and eventually everyone takes an aerobics class.

Honestly, the entire movie is mostly just a collection of scenes of Jamie Lee Curtis and John Travolta working out. And, in all fairness, Curtis does about as well as anyone could in this terrible film. Travolta, on the other had … well, just check out the scene below and maybe you’ll understand why I had a hard time concentrating on Travolta’s acting.