Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988. The entire show can be found on Tubi!
Our story so far….
Episode 1.11 “Crime Pays”
(Originally aired on December 5th, 1986)
This week’s show will be easy to review because it’s a clip show. It’s a bit more honest than most television clip shows. It doesn’t feature the character sitting around saying stuff like, “I’ll never forget that time we gunned down half of Luca’s crew.” Instead, the show’s narrator (Jack Angel) tells us that we’re going to see the story so far and then we see just that. The best thing about this episode is Angel’s tough guy voice.
It’s not bad for a clip show. It’s basically all of the Torello and Luca scenes without any of the filler. If nothing else, it lets us know which of the past plotlines we should remember and which ones we can safely forget. (Remember that Torello is obsessed with Luca. Remember that Luca is determined to become a big man in the mob. Don’t necessarily forget about David Arbams’s storylines but, at the same time, don’t worry if your memory’s a little fuzzy.) But it’s still a clip show, nonetheless.
For some reason, this very 90s show relaxes me whenever I watch it. This week, I watched as Jeffrey Tambor sang Spinning Wheel and a young Bob Odenkirk played the most shallow agent possible.
Saved By The Bell (Tubi)
My review of Saved By The Bell will drop later tonight.
St. Elsewhere (YouTube)
This week’s episode was so depressing that I couldn’t review it. Expect to see my thoughts on it next week.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988. The entire show can be found on Tubi!
This week, the Major Crimes Unit follows a ring of things from Chicago to Iowa!
Episode 1.10 “For Love Or Money”
(Dir by Bobby Roth, originally aired on December 5th, 1986)
An investigation into a new Chicago robbery crew leads the Major Crimes Unit to the small town in Iowa that the crew calls home. After the MCU busts the crew, the Mayor is so thrilled that he gives them all the key to the city and invites them to party at the local bar, which turns out to be a surprisingly happening place. Torello, who has just signed his divorce papers, gets drunk, steals a car, and sleeps with the mayor’s wife. That’ll teach him to hand out keys to the city!
Meanwhile, Danny feels sorry for one of the thieves. Howie Dressler (a very young Gary Sinise) is not a ruthless criminal. Instead, he’s someone who has lost his job and who is desperately trying to pay the bills His wife (Moira Sinise) is a victim of polio and lives in an iron lung. Danny wants to cut a deal with Howie.
Unfortunately, though the thieves don’t fully realize it, the thieves work for Ray Luca’s organization. Luca and Paulie take Howie for a ride to a warehouse, where they tie him to a chair. Howie swears to them that he’s not going to rat them out. He says that he’ll take the fall and that the only reason he talked to the MCU was to protect his wife. Howie says that he did what any real man would do in the situation. Luca seems to be sympathetic and motions at Paulie to let Howie go.
Or does he?
Later, Torello, Danny, and the boys are called to another warehouse where the bodies of the thieves have been found. The majority of them were beaten to death. Howie was hanged.
Yikes!
Back at the bar, Danny gets drunk. When Torello shows up to take him home, Danny says that he should have let Torello execute Ray Luca when he had the chance. Torello nods and then says, “I will kill Ray Luca.”
This episode really gave us a look into the mentality of Torello and the other members of the Major Crimes Unit. We’ve always known that Torello is obsessed with Luca but, in this episode, we saw just how obsessed. Torello seems to feel that he’s now on a holy mission to personally kill Luca. The members of MCU obsess over the criminals they chase and, when they don’t have a criminal to chase, they end up losing control, getting drunk, and impulsively stealing cars. Say what you will about Ray Luca, he’s at least a little bit more disciplined.
I get the feeling none of this is going to lead to a happy ending.
Originally, I wasn’t going to watch Big Brother this season but I gave in. Watching this show and getting annoyed is pretty much a tradition around these parts and you know me. I’m all about tradition. You can read my thoughts (and Erin’s thoughts!) about the show over at RealityTVChatBlog.
The Contender (Prime)
I watched two episodes of this old reality show on Tuesday. A group of boxers competed to be …. THE CONTENDER! They weren’t bad. I actually remember when this show aired way back in the aughts. Sylvester Stallone was the host for the first two seasons. The episodes I watched were hosted by Sugar Ray Leonard.
Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock)
My review of Homicide will drop tomorrow.
Saved By The Bell (Tubi)
My review of Saved By The Bell will drop later tonight.
Sledgehammer! (Prime)
I watched an episode of this 80s comedy show on Friday. A contract was put out on Sledgehammer’s life so he hid with with Amish. It was a funny episode.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988. The entire show can be found on Tubi!
Torello is going to snap….
Episode 1.9 “Justice Hits The Skids”
(Dir by Mario DiLeo, originally aired on November 11th, 1986)
Torello is losing it.
Well, that’s not really a surprise. Torello has been losing it since the pilot. However, this episode finds him acting even more intense than usual. He’s getting divorced. His best friend Ted Kehoe has been murdered and the federal prosecutor seems to be more interested in trying to prove that Torello is corrupt than in going after Bartoli and Luca. Torello doesn’t even go to Ted Kehoe’s funeral, leading to everyone thinking that Torello is losing what little grip on sanity he has left. Even his soon-to-be ex-wife checks in on him.
While Torello stews over Luca, Suzanne Terry attempts to investigate the growing use of drugs in some of Chicago’s poorest neighbors and she gets attacked and put into the hospital as a result. David Abrams tries to investigate on his own, leading to Suzanne telling him that she needs some time apart from him. (Before she’s attacked, David takes her out to dinner. When a racist diner complains and the head waiter asks them to move to a different table, Suzanne wants to leave the restaurant. David insists that they stay and finish their meal. David may see himself as being a righteous crusader but, at the same time, he also comes across as being rather controlling. It doesn’t seem to occur to him that Suzanne might not want to give any business to a racist restaurant.) Torello and the Major Crimes Unit then take up the case, even though his superiors tell him not to waste any time on it.
Sweet Haywood (John Canada Tyrell), the drug dealer who attacked Suzanne, is eventually captured. Sitting in jail, he meets his public defender, who just happens to be David Abrams. Abrams pulls out a gun and shoots Haywood in the chest. However, this turns out to just be a fantasy on David’s part. When the real Haywood demands to know if Abrams is going to keep him out of the jail, Abrams says, “Of course. That’s my job. Abrams for the defense.”
The gun-shooting fantasy scene was effective but otherwise, the ending doesn’t make much sense. Assigning Abrams to serve as the public defender for a guy who was arrested for beating up Abrams’s girlfriend is a massive conflict-of-interest. If Abrams intentionally offers up a poor defense, Haywood will automatically have grounds for an appeal. I mean, this is 1963. This the era of the Warren Court!
Even with that in mind, this wasn’t a bad episode. David Abrams and Mike Torello are both flawed heroes, which is what makes the show so watchable. Torello may be fighting on the side of the law but he really does seem like he’s one bad day away from blowing up the entire city of Chicago. Meanwhile, Abrams clearly sees himself as being the last righteous crusader but he often seems oblivious to how his actions effect other people. Neither is perfect. Indeed, each one seems to be just one step away from self-destructing.
On Friday night, I watched a performance by the band Pacifica. They were okay. I prefer louder music.
Bring Me The Beauties: The Model Cult (HBOMax)
I watched this 3-part docuseries on Monday. It was yet another cult documentary. This time, only good-looking people could join the cult. That actually made sense to me. If you’re a cult leader, why would you want to be surrounded by ugly people?
Degrassi: The Next Generation (Tubi)
My review of this week’s episode will drop tomorrow.
Election Coverage
I watched this latest primary results on Tuesday. Ugh, the DSA in New York. Never has a group of activist been both so charmless and so successful at the same time. A lot of people are panicking about that but, honestly, if the DSA was going to win anywhere, it was going to be in New York. I imagine they’ll do well in Denver next week as well. DSA appeals to gentrifiers. (I also remember that the DSA insurgency was declared dead after the primaries in Illinois so perhaps we should be careful about reading too much into any one night.) It seems like after every “wave election,” there’s a few new congresspeople (and even senators) who end up self-destructing during their first or second term, people like Katie Hill, George Santos, Madison Cawthorn, Cori Bush, and Jamaal Bowman. This year, I’m putting my money on Dairaliza Avila Chevalier and, if he wins, Graham Platner as being the most likely to fall apart as soon as they arrive in Washington.
Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock)
My review of this week’s episode will drop tomorrow.
Saved By The Bell (Tubi)
My review of this weeks episode will drop later tonight.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988. The entire show can be found on Tubi!
This week, Torello discovers some disturbing facts about an old friend.
Episode 1.8 “Old Friends, Dead Ends”
(Dir by Bobby Roth, originally aired on November 4h, 1986)
Luca has bought a controlling interest in a bottling company so that he can borrow from the pension fund and use that money to purchase casinos in Las Vegas. He’s brought a reluctant Bartoli in as his partner. The owner of the company is Ted Kehoe (Mark Hutter), who just happens to be an old friend of Mike Torello’s. When Kehoe’s business partner, Marilyn Stewart (Dana Wheeler-Nicholson), becomes suspicious of Kehoe’s arrangement with Luca, Bartoli starts to wonder if it’s really worth it to keep Marilyn and Ted around.
This is especially the case after Bartoli’s attorney, Dee (a youngish Eric Bogosian), informs Bartoli that U.S. Attorney Harry Brietel (Ray Sharkey) is planning on indicting both him and Luca for money laundering. Looking to end Brietel’s case before it can even get started, Luca murders Marilyn Stewart. Marilyn’s body is later found by two teenagers and–
HEY, IT’S CHRISTIAN SLATER!
This episode does indeed feature an early performance from Christian Slater. He pays a teenager who is trying to convince his girlfriend to “do it” when they happen to spot Marilyn’s body floating in the river. Slater’s girlfriend is played by Kim Walker, who was later co-star with Slater in Heathers.
Torello is not happy. Well, that’s not a surprise. Torello is never happy. But this episode gives him even more reasons than usual to be in a foul mood. Because of his childhood friendship with Ted Kehoe, Brietel suspects that Torello might be corrupt. After Marilyn is murdered, Brietel seems more interested in trying to pin the murder on Torello than going after Luca.
As for Ted Kehoe, he tells Luca that he’s done working for him. Kehoe is going to tell the cops everything! And what is Luca going to do about it? This episode ends with Kehoe getting thrown out the window of his penthouse and falling several stories down to his death….
Piece of advice: If you’re going to turn on the mob, don’t tell them ahead of time.
This was a good episode! Torello’s friendship with Kehoe brought some real stakes the story and, once again, we got to see just how ruthless an adversary Ray Luca truly is. Luca, Bartoli, and the other mobsters can occasionally seem a bit buffoonish. This episode reminded us that, in Luca’s case, it’s always a mistake to underestimate him.
As for now, Kehoe is dead and Torello is under suspicion. I look forward to seeing what happens next week!
This documentary was about …. well, it’s right there in the title. One man performed card tricks. A woman played a saw like a violin. Another woman wrote poems on a typewriter in the park. A man danced on a subway train. The documentary was an interesting look at a group of unique Americans. Unfortunately, I watched it rather late at night so my eyelids were heavy during the majority of the show.
Degrassi: The Next Generation (Tubi)
My review will drop tomorrow.
Homicide: Life on the Street (Peacock TV)
My review will drop tomorrow.
Kyōryū Sentai Zyuranger (Shout TV)
There’s just no stopping those dinosaurs!
The Larry Sanders Show (HBOMax)
Hank’s Sex Tape! Oh my God, what a cringey episode. When a sex tape featuring Hank Kingsley starts to circulate in Hollywood, it threatens Hank’s new job as an orange juice commercial spokesman. Henry Winkler and Norm MacDonald appear as themselves and have a classic conversation about Hank and …. well, you can watch the episode and see for yourself. Why is this episode so funny and so cringey? Hank is played by Jeffrey Tambor. “Wash your mouth out with Hank.” AGCK!
Saved By The Bell (Tubi)
My review of this week’s episode will drop in about 90 minutes.
UFC Freedom 250 (Paramount Plus)
I’ll just go ahead and tick everyone off by admitting that I enjoyed the spectacle and the unique silliness of UFC on the White House lawn. Yes, there were some regrettable moments. If you were annoyed by the comment about a certain former first lady, you had every right to be. It was a stupid thing to yell and unnecessarily divisive. But, at its heart, the event itself was pure Americana. Abraham Lincoln’s favorite sport was wrestling. Teddy Roosevelt loved boxing. Richard Nixon was a bowler. There’s actually a long history of this sort of thing.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988. The entire show can be found on Tubi!
This week, the Torello marriage falls apart.
Episode 1.7 “Pursuit of a Wanted Felon”
(Dir by Aaron Lipstadt, originally aired on October 28th, 1986)
Last week, a recently acquitted man named Hector (Ving Rhames) was arrested after murdering his landlord. Torello, Danny, and David Abrams were all upset.
This week, they’ve all moved on. Sorry, Ving Rhames, you were only a one-episode guest star.
David is pursuing his relationship with Suzanne Terry (Pam Grier). At a cocktail party, Detective Walter Clemmons (Paul Butler), the black member of the Crime Squad, approaches Suzanne and warns her that she shouldn’t be pursuing a relationship with “that white boy.” Seriously, this is the first time that Walter’s gotten any real dialogue since the show began and it’s basically to tell Suzanne not to pursue an interracial relationship. “We’re only seven years out from integration,” Clemmons says, an awkward piece of dialogue that is meant to remind viewers that this show takes place in 1963. The show actually deserves some credit for being realistic about how many people would have viewed David and Suzanne’s budding romance in 1963. I just find it interesting that the show’s only regular black character is the one who is shown objecting while all of the white Chicago cops don’t have a problem with it. Who knew the Chicago police force was so progressive in the early 60s?
(I really want to like Stephen Lang’s performance as David but something feels off about it. It’s not a bad performance. I stand by my earlier praise. It’s just that David is such a caricature of an early 60s liberal that it is sometimes hard for me to tell if his character is supposed to be satirical or not. In episodes like this, where David is portrayed as being a cool hipster, Lang can seem a bit stiff and miscast. He’s much better when he’s giving an emotional speech in court.)
Luca continues to prove himself indispensable to Manny Weisbrod. In this episode, he blows up a union leader who doesn’t want to take orders from the mob.
Finally, Mike and Julia Torello split up in this episode. It’s not really a shock. Mike Torello is extremely intense and obsessed with his job. He’s tightly wound, to the point where he seems like he might just randomly shoot someone at any given moment. An attempt to take a relaxing vacation with Julie is a disaster. (The motel is tacky. The service is mediocre. Mike spends the entire time threatening the staff and complaining.) As soon as Torello returns to Chicago, he hops on a plane for Cleveland in an unsuccessful attempt to capture Frank Holman. When Torello returns home, he finds that Julie is preparing to go out with another man.
“You are not going to watch my TV,” Torello says, before grabbing the TV and leaving the apartment with it.
Does that scene sounds familiar? That’s probably because Michael Mann later reused the scene, almost word-for-word, in Heat. It’s a good scene. It’s certainly the most memorable moment in this episode.
Otherwise, this episode felt a bit bland. Torello’s doomed marriage isn’t really that interesting and I actually kind of got annoyed with David and Suzanne going to a cocktail party when they really should have been trying to get Hector out of prison. I laughed at Torello’s irritation at the hotel and his line about the TV. Those were the highlights. The rest of this installment was forgettable.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988. The entire show can be found on Tubi!
This week, David Abrams gets his time in the spotlight.
Episode 1.6 “Abrams For The Defense”
(Dir by Aaron Lipstadt, originally aired on October 14th, 1986)
In the slums of Chicago, Hector Lincoln (Ving Rhames) strikes his landlord, Sturkowski (Frederick Nuemann), after one of Hector’s children is bitten by one of the rats that roams freely through the apartment building. Hector is arrested and facing time in prison. Public defender David Abrams (Stephen Lang) defends Hector in court, claiming that conditions in the slums were so bad that Hector only struck Sturkowski in self-defense. Helping David to make his case about the conditions in Sturkowski’s building is a crusader reporter named Suzanne Terry (Pam Grier).
This episode was all about showing us who David Abrams is. David’s father was a mob lawyer but David has no interest in working with people like Ray Luca and Phil Bartoli. Instead, he wants to defend the poor and the downtrodden. Torello and Krychek happen to stop by the trail and they’re impressed with David’s passion. Krychek is disgusted when Sturkowski says that Hector and his family don’t deserve to live a better life. Who knew that two Chicago cops would be so liberal?
To celebrate Hector’s acquittal, a block party is held. David is the guest of honor and, for reasons that aren’t really clear, he decides to invite Torello and Krychek to come celebrate with him. Everyone at the block party is super excited that two cops are hanging out with them. But then Sturkowski tries to evict the Lincolns and Hector strikes him again. This time, he kills Sturkowski. Torello and Krychek promptly arrest Hector as the episode comes to an end.
(And that is why you don’t invite cops to the block party.)
This episode was well-acted, if a bit heavy-handed. (To a certain extent, it reminded me of those episodes of Miami Vice where Crockett would certainly start talking like an undergrad who had just read about Marx for the first time.) It certainly allowed us to get to know more about David Abrams and Stephen Lang and Pam Grier had a good deal of chemistry as two people who appear to be poised on pursuing a relationship that was not all that common in 1963 Chicago. The block party was where the episode kind of lost me, just because I found it hard to believe that Torello and Krychek would not only show up but be treated as the guests of honor despite the fact that most of the people at the party wouldn’t have the slightest idea who they were. I can understand Abrams being welcomed because Abrams kept Hector out of prison. But Torello and Krychek are just two random, middle-aged, white cops.
This episode established David Abrams as being a man caught between two different worlds, the law and lawless. I can’t wait to see what the show does with him.
