Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the Love Boat has a few special passengers.

Episode 7.21 “Ace’s Valet/Mother Comes First/Hit or Miss America”

(Dir by Richard A. Wells, originally aired on February 25th, 1984)

Ace is back from photography school and not a minute too soon because the Love Boat is playing host to not only Miss America Vanessa Williams (playing herself) but also several former Miss Americas.  Unfortunately, for Ace, his mother insists that the family valet, Finley (Jeremy Brett), accompany him.  Ace decides that Finley needs a distraction …. maybe a girlfriend!  Hey, at least one of the former Miss Americas is single….

Meanwhile, Vanessa Williams is getting annoyed with various men hitting on her.  In order to get them to leave her alone, she tells them that she has a boyfriend and he’s on the cruise.  In fact, he’s working as a bartender on the boat!  Tyrone (Glynn Turman) is disappointed but Isaac is overjoyed when he hears that Vanessa is “crazy” about him.  Poor Isaac!  And actually, poor Vanessa as well.  A few months after this episode aired, she stepped down from her position after Penthouse magazine published some risqué pictures that were taken during her modeling days.

Finally, Jenny Rhodes (Audrey Landers) wants her mother, Mrs. Rhodes (Marian Mercer), to find love on the boat.  Gopher helps out by wearing bronzer and a fake beard and pretending to be a wealthy and powerful Indian named Punjab.  Uhmm …. yeah, I’m not really sure what to say about that.  On the one hand, this episode featured the first black Miss America.  On the other hand, it also featured Fred Grandy wearing brownface and speaking in a exaggerated Indian accent.  It’s as if the show was so proud of itself for not being racist in one story that it didn’t notice that it was being totally racist in another.

So, this was, overall, a pretty stupid episode.  I hate to have to say that because I usually really do enjoy The Love Boat.  But having Fred Grandy pretend to be Indian and then having Mrs. Rhodes not get upset about the deception just felt …. well, stupid.  As for the other two stories, Jeremy Brett was amusing and Ted Lange was, as always, endearing.  This could have been a good episode if not for that third story.

Oh well.  Not every cruise can be a winner.  That said, I know what your main question is about this episode.

Julie didn’t do much this episode.  Overall, she really hasn’t done much this entire season.  On a scale of one to ten, I would actually give her an 8 as far as this episode goes.  I mean, she really did lose it when she saw Ace was back on the boat.  For that matter, the Miss Americas all appeared to be in a surprisingly good mood as well.  This was the coke cruise.