October Hacks: Deadly Manor (dir by Jose Ramon Larraz)

Posted on October 1, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

1990’s Deadly Manor begins, as so many slasher films do, with a road trip.

Tony (Greg Rhodes), Helen (Claudia Franjul), Rod (Mark Irish), Susan (Liz Hitchler), Peter (Jerry Kerion), and Anne (Kathleen Patane) are driving through upstate New York. Their ultimate destinate is a lake but they don’t really seem to have a very good grasp on how to actually get there. They stop to pick up a surly but sexy hitchhiker named Jack (Clark Tufts). Maybe Jack knows where the lake is! Actually, Jack is an escaped convict who is traveling with a gun but he doesn’t tell anyone else. He’s actually rather well-mannered for a fugitive.

With night falling and a storm approaching, the group decides to camp out for the night. When the car proves to be too small, they decide to break into a nearby mansion. The mansion has a wrecked car sitting in front of it and, on the inside, there’s all sorts of evidence that someone else has been staying there. The house is full of pictures of a beautiful woman. There’s also several pictures of a bunch of naked bikers, who all appear to be dead. Still, the group decides to spend the night because this is a slasher film and people do stupid things.

As you probably already guessed, the group is not alone. There’s a woman wearing a mask and walking around with a knife. Unlike most slasher villains, our killer here likes to keep things simple. She’s all about slashing throats. I actually found myself appreciating the fact that the movie stayed consistent as far as that was concerned. This isn’t the type of slasher movie where the killer somehow has a huge collection of weapons at their disposal and this also isn’t a movie where the killer drops a one liner with each kill. The kills come quickly and without a hint of playfulness or mercy. As for the throat slashings, they’re effective because the throat is such a vulnerable and uniquely exposed part of the body. I love my throat and I’d hate for anything bad to happen to it. The kill that always seems to get mentioned is one that takes place in slow motion towards the end of the film. That is a memorably gruesome moment but, for me, the most effective kill is one where the actual attack takes place off-screen and we only see the aftermath. It’s a moment that takes us by surprise and confirms that no one is safe inside the house.

When Deadly Manor started, I wasn’t expecting much from it. The characters were all incredibly dumb and the terrible dialogue didn’t do anyone any favors. Things picked up once they broke into the mansion. Yes, their decision to stay in the obviously dangerous mansion didn’t make much sense but the location itself was full of atmosphere and the killer was memorably odd. The film itself is full of small details, like an ever-widening crack on one of the walls, that eventually pay off in unexpected ways. Deadly Manor turns out to be a bit more engrossing than anyone would have any reason to suspect.

Deadly Manor didn’t shy away from blood and it didn’t shy away from nudity and it didn’t shy away from being a slasher film. After watching countless “modern” horror films that take themselves too seriously and almost seem to be apologizing for following the rules of the genre, there was something very entertaining about watching an old school, unapologetically sordid slasher like Deadly Manor.

SOV Horror Review: Beyond The Seventh Door (dir by Bozidar Benedikt)

Posted on October 1, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In the early ’80s, a revolution took place in the horror genre. Amateur filmmakers started to direct their own horror films, using home video cameras. In those days before YouTube, they released the films not in theaters but instead on VHS tape. These shot-on-video horror movies usually only cost a few thousand dollars to make and, what they lacked in polished cinematography and big stars, they often made up for in raw immediacy, strange plot twists, and crudely effective gore. These were films that were made by horror lovers who didn’t have a studio looking over their shoulder and saying, “That might cost us at the box office.” The end results were films that critics either ignored or hated but which true horror fans made a point of tracking down. Admittedly, most of the old SOV horror films aren’t particularly good. Usually, when I watch these films, I find myself developing an appreciation for things that I usually take for granted, like clean sound recording. But there are a few that are memorable, either because of their bizarre plots or because of their willingness to go to the extremes that mainstream films tend to avoid. For this year’s Horrorthon, I hope to review several SOV horror films for this site.

1987’s Beyond the Seventh Door is a good example of a SOV horror film. Directed by Bozidar Benedikt and filmed in Canada, Beyond the Seventh Door stars actor Lazar Rockwood as Boris. Boris has just gotten out of prison. His ex-girlfriend, Wendy (Bonnie Beck), tells him that she is currently working as a maid for a paraplegic millionaire. She suggests that, during a costume party, she and Boris should break into the estate’s basement and steal some of her boss’s possessions. Boris agrees but, soon after they break in, they discover that the basement is actually a series of seven escape rooms. If Boris and Wendy can successfully solve the puzzle of each room and escape without dying, they’ll get what they’re looking for in the seventh room. But even the final room has a deadly twist.

It’s an intriguing plot and, considering that it appears that the film was basically shot in a warehouse and that the same room was redecorated multiple times, the film still manages to generate a little suspense. The twist ending is clever and Bonnie Beck does a good job with the role of Wendy. I felt bad for Wendy, who had to maneuver her way through each death trap while wearing high heels. That said, her red dress was to die for.

However, the main thing that most people will remember about Beyond the Seventh Door is the bizarre performance of Lazar Rockwood. With his dark, unkempt hair and his hollowed-out facial features, Rockwood bears a disturbing resemblance to Richard Ramirez, the infamous California serial killer who was known as the Night Stalker. Rockwood delivers his lines in a nearly indecipherable accent and, whenever a door closes behind him, he lets out a shrill little “Nooooo!” that is more likely to make you smile than feel any sort of real fear. It’s such a bizarre performance that it becomes oddly fascinating to watch. It’s not exactly a good performance, but he is totally credible as the type of easily misguided weirdo who would end up getting trapped in one escape room after another.

There’s a relentless drive to Beyond the Seventh Door’s narrative, one that makes the film easy to watch despite the low budget and the occasionally clunky dialogue. The action stops briefly for a totally out-of-place sex scene but somehow, even that works. I mean, if you’re trapped in a basement with your ex and it’s totally possible that you’re going to be dead within the hour, you might as well. It’s a far more watchable film than it probably has any right to be and the things that make it watchable are exactly the things that no studio would have allowed the filmmakers to get away with, like casting Lazar Rockwood in the lead role. This is an SOV film that actually works.

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: The Phantom of the Opera (dir by Dwight H. Little)

Posted on October 1, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

1989’s The Phantom of the Opera opens in what was then-modern day Manhattan.

Christine Day (Jill Schoelen) is a young opera singer who is searching for the perfect audition piece. Her friend, Meg (Molly Shannon), suggests that she use an obscure opera piece called Don Juan Triumphant. The opera was written by Erik Destler, a mysterious composer who was accused of murdering several opera singers in the 1800s. That morbid fact only makes Christine all the more convinced that she should use the piece in her audition and you know what? I would probably feel the same way. If nothing else, it would certainly appeal to my subversive side.

Even after Christine imagines seeing blood seeping off the pages of the opera, she remains committed to auditioning with it. Unfortunately, at the audition, a sandbag falls on her head. She’s knocked unconscious and, when she wakes up, she finds herself in 1885 London. She’s an understudy for a diva named La Carlotta (Sharon Lawrence). Carlotta has skill and technique but her singing lacks emotion. She hits each note perfectly but she brings no deeper meaning to her performances. Christine may lack Carlotta’s polish but she sings with emotion. For that reason, Carlotta is jealous of Christine. Meanwhile, Erik Destler (Robert Englund), who lives in the sewers of London’s opera house and who wears a mask over his disfigured face, feels that Christine is the only one who can do his work justice and he’s willing to go to any length to make sure that she’s the one who performs on stage.

At the time he made The Phantom of the Opera, Robert Englund was still regularly playing Freddy Krueger. The film’s version of Erik Destler does owe a bit to Krueger. Erik is as ruthless as Freddy, he’s good with a quip, he’s just as willing to kill, and, needless to say, he also has a face that will haunt your nightmares. That said, Erik is also a creative artist, which is something that Freddy never was. If Freddy was motivated by revenge, Erik is motivated by a desire to see his work come to life the way that he’s always imagined it. Erik murders to help Christine (regardless of whether or not Chrsitine actually wants the help) whereas Freddy killed because he enjoyed it. Englund gives a good performance as Erik, occasionally playing the role with the type of broadness that is to expected from a B-horror film but also still offering hints of the artist that Erik once was. Englund is well-matched with Jill Schoelen, who brings a likable energy to Christine.

Produced by Menahem Golan and Harry Alan Towers, The Phantom of the Opera is an entertaining B-movie, one that is obviously not meant to be taken too seriously. Director Dwight H. Little keeps the action moving at a steady pace, the sets and the costumes are to die for, the kills are unapologetically bloody, and the film even manages to put an interesting twist on the whole “it was all dream!” thing. The Phantom of the Opera is an enjoyably macabre showcase for two of the best horror performers of the 80s and 90s, Jill Schoelen and Robert Englund.

Judge Dredd (1995, directed by Danny Cannon)

Posted on October 1, 2026 by Jedadiah Leland

Judge Dredd, the legendary British comic about life in Mega-City One, has twice been adapted for the movies.

In 2012, Pete Travis and Alex Garland teamed up to give us Dredd, a film that starred Karl Urban as Joseph Dredd, the famous helmeted cop who is tasked to serve as judge, jury, and executioner in Mega-City One. Dredd was acclaimed for being an exciting action film that stayed true to the comic’s satiric subtext. Karl Urban was praised for bringing Dredd to life even while wearing the judge’s signature helmet and armor. Of course, another reason Dredd was acclaimed was because it was totally different from the first attempt to turn Judge Dredd into a movie.

In 1995, Sylvester Stallone played the title character in Judge Dredd. “I am the law!” Stallone shouts throughout the film, even while he’s being set up to take the fall for a murder that he did not commit. Working with talkative criminal Fergie (Rob Schneider) and Judge Hershey (Diane Lane), Dredd tries to stop his brother, Rico (Armand Assante), from destroying Mega-City One. Max von Sydow and Jürgen Prochnow appear as other judges, and James Earl Jones provides the opening narration, telling us how society collapsed and a world patrolled by judges arose in its place.

As a film, Judge Dredd is typical of many of the now-forgotten comic book adaptations of the ’90s. Tim Burton’s Batman had made comic book films viable, but they still weren’t taken seriously as anything other than a way to get teenage boys to part with their money. It’s obvious that a lot of time and money went into duplicating the look of the Judge Dredd comic, but far less time was spent on what actually made the comic so successful in the first place. Mega-City One looks great and so does Dredd’s armor. However, Dredd loses both his armor and his trademark helmet early on because he’s being played by Sylvester Stallone, and why would you spend all that money on a star just to hide his face? Unfortunately, once Stallone removes the helmet, the character goes from being Judge Joseph Dredd to just being another generic Stallone action hero. And while the film does feature plenty of humor, it’s self-conscious slapstick as opposed to the sharp satire that distinguished the comic. The performances become more and more cartoonish as the movie plays on. Armand Assante ends up making Schwarzenegger’s turn in Batman & Robin look subtle by comparison.

Director Danny Cannon was reportedly a fan of the original comic, and his original vision for Judge Dredd stuck closer to the source material. However, Sylvester Stallone wanted the film to be more of an action comedy in the style of his previous hit, Demolition Man. (Stallone even brought Rob Schneider over from the previous film.) Cannon’s vision was for a violent, R-rated movie. (The first cut was hit with an NC-17.) Stallone and the studio wanted a PG-13 film, and the end result is a film that does not seem to know what it wants to say or who it was made for. It has enough gunfire and explosions that it’s not a terrible action film, but as an adaptation of Judge Dredd, it’s the pits.

Fortunately, years later, Dredd would come along and set things right.

The Ghostmaker (2011, directed by Mauro Borelli)

Posted on October 1, 2026 by Jedadiah Leland

Three college students — meth-addicted Kyle (Aaron Dean Eisenberg), paraplegic Sutton (J. Walter Holland), and occultist Platt (Jared Grey) — come in possession of a 15th century casket that also has a built-in music box. Kyle discovers that, when you lie down in the casket and play the music at the same time, you briefly become a ghost and you can go anywhere without being seen. However, a piece of your soul dies every time that use the music box and Death itself soon starts to follow you around. Platt thinks the box is dangerous but Kyle sees it as a way to pay off his debts and Sutton sees it as a way to both walk and stalk Kyle’s girlfriend, Julie (Liz Fenning).

To give credit where credit is due, the concept behind The Ghostmaker is interesting. Even if the film’s plot is just a retread of Flatliners, I liked the idea of the casket killing Kyle and Sutton’s soul a piece at a time. Just as Kyle has become addicted to crystal meth, Sutton soon becomes addicted to using the casket and the end results aren’t good for anyone. The first half of the movie is genuinely good, with some quality jump scares and plenty of creepy scenes of Kyle and Sutton walking around as ghosts. The second half of the movie is where things fall apart as the story becomes less about the consequences of using the casket and more about Kyle and Sutton’s personal problems. The endless victimization of Julie becomes exploitive and the film’s final scenes really reveal the limitations of the mostly unknown cast. What started out as a thought-provoking look at what it means to have a soul becomes a standard thriller.

The movie opens by saying that it’s based on a true story. If you believe that, I have a ghost-making casket to sell you.

Lifetime For October: The Perfect Boss (dir by Curtis Crawford)

Posted on October 1, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Some people just aren’t good at murdering people.

Consider Cameron Finney. In 2013’s The Perfect Boss, Cameron (Linden Ashby) is a vice president of a pharmaceutical firm and the lover of Jessica Slate (Jamie Luner), who has just been hired to fast-track the FDA approval of a new drug called Ezapine. When Jessica and Cameron learn that one of their own researchers, Dan Renfro (Gary Hudson), is suggesting that Ezapine might not be as safe as the company claims, they decide to take matters into their own hands and murder Dan. By this point, in the film, it’s been established that Jessica has a history of killing people. She smothered her abusive stepfather. She drowned her own mother. Jessica has committed multiple murders and she’s still gone on to have a successful business career. She obviously knows how to get away with killing someone. But, for some reason, Cameron is the one who kills Dan.

From the start, it’s pretty obvious that Cameron has no idea how to pull this sort of thing off. For one thing, he follows Dan around in a rental car. For another thing, he fails to notice that there’s a witness watching him while he attacks Dan. And, finally, Cameron makes the rookie mistake of logging into Dan’s work computer without checking to see if anyone has installed tracking software on it. All of this allows Dan’s teenage daughter, Renee (Ashley Leggat), to investigate her father’s murder.

I liked Renee. She hasn’t even graduated from high school and she’s already solving murders. That was always my fantasy in high school. I wanted to investigate and solve a crime and prove to the police and all of the adults that I was more responsible and clever than they gave me credit for. Unfortunately, there weren’t any juicy local crimes for me to solve, other than figuring out who broke into our house one night. I didn’t really work hard to solve that crime because that crime actually freaked me out. (I slept with a golf club for months afterwards.) Instead, I tried to figure out what happened to D.B. Cooper. Unfortunately, it was kind of hard to investigate that from a Texas high school.

So, Renee accomplishes something that I never did. She solves the crime! But really, it’s not a hard crime to solve because Cameron was such an incompetent murderer. That said, I liked the fact that it gave Renee a chance to win her mother’s respect. At the start of the movie, Renee was getting yelled at for parking her car in a tow-away zone and always dressing in black and, by the end of it, she was graduating high school and realizing that she didn’t always have to paint her nails black. I could relate to Renee.

That said, the true star here is Jamie Luner. Luner was a mainstay in Lifetime films like this and she gives one of her best performances as the cheerfully sociopathic Jessica. I was a bit disappointed that there was never a direct confrontation between Jessica and Renee but at least we got plenty of scenes of Jessica scheming and subtly threatening people not to cross her. Cameron may have been an imperfect murderer but Jessica was truly the perfect boss.

Brad reviews THE SEVENTH CURSE (1986) – starring Chow Yun-Fat, Maggie Cheung and Chin Siu-Ho!

Posted on October 1, 2026 by Bradley Crain

Early in THE SEVENTH CURSE, Dr. Yuan (Chin Siu-Ho) tells a story to his mentor and friend Wisely (Chow Yun-Fat). It seems he had visited Thailand exactly one year earlier, and while walking along a lake, a beautiful woman in a see-through blouse emerged from the water. The two visit for a moment before she ran into the jungle in fear. Later that evening, Yuan heard the sounds of native drums which seem to signal human sacrifices are taking place by the local “Worm Tribe.” Investigating the situation, he saw that same beautiful woman as she was about to be sacrificed to the “Old Ancestor” by the tribe’s sorcerer (Elvis Tsui). He rescued the lady, but he was also damned with a blood curse that will periodically burst through his legs. Luckily, the grateful beauty was able to slice a tumor out of her ample bosom that provided an antidote for one year. Well, the time is up and the bursts are back. Wisely, who puffs on his pipe and seems to be an expert on everything, advises Yuan to head back to Thailand and find a permanent cure before the final burst kills him. With help at various times from the badass Black Dragon (Dick Wei), the beautiful tribe woman we now know as Betsy (Tsui Sau-Lai), the annoying reporter Rainbow (Maggie Cheung), and Wisely, Yuan must find the cure before the final burst comes straight from the heart. It won’t be easy as they will have to defeat the evil sorcerer of the Worm Tribe, a demon baby animated by the blood of ground up children, and “Old Ancestor” himself, a powerful skeleton with glowing eyes who likes to suck out spinal cords before transforming into something really ugly.

Back in 1986, Chow Yun-Fat essentially filmed an extended cameo for this crazy film that could have only been made in Hong Kong. 1986 was also the same year that Chow Yun-Fat became a megastar all across Asia based on his success in John Woo’s A BETTER TOMORROW. Of course, the film was sold on his name, but he’s not in it very much, even if he does show up at the end with a bazooka. With that said, for those in the right frame of mind THE SEVENTH CURSE is an entertaining film, and I like Chin Siu-Ho in the lead role as Dr. Yuan. Part Indiana Jones style adventure and part jungle-terror, this film goes completely over the top with its gratuitous nudity and gore. “Restraint” for this movie means not showing children actually getting ground up so their blood can revitalize a demon baby, although we do see them being placed in the grinder and the blood coming out and being collected in bowls. The same restraint isn’t shown for the men who are torn apart by booby traps and Old Ancestor, impaled by spikes, rip their own faces off and have their spinal cords sucked out. For those of “WTF am I watching” cinema, this should be a fun viewing. The special effects aren’t particularly realistic looking which makes it easier for me to watch.

Overall, THE SEVENTH CURSE is definitely not a film for everyone. The budget is low, the acting isn’t great, it’s gory as hell, and Chow Yun-Fat may have ten minutes of screen time at most. But if my description of the gore doesn’t scare you away and you enjoy crazy cinema, this is probably a movie for you.

October True Crime: Lords of Chaos (by Jonas Akerlund)

Posted on October 1, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2018’s Lords of Chaos features one of the most disturbing scenes I’ve ever seen in a movie.

Jack Kilmer plays Pelle Ohlin, a Swedish singer who was horribly abused as a child—beaten so badly his spleen ruptured and he was clinically dead for a few minutes before they brought him back. He grew up obsessed with death, sometimes seeming to believe he already was dead. He took Dead as his stage name and became the lead singer of the Norwegian black metal band Mayhem. He’d found a following, but it didn’t seem to matter. Left alone in his attic bedroom, Dead takes a knife and slits his wrists in close-up. After staring at the blood running down his arms, he uses the same knife to slit his throat. That still doesn’t kill him. Even while he’s coughing up blood he finds the strength to write a note apologizing for the mess. Then he sits on the bed, puts the barrel of a shotgun to his forehead, and pulls the trigger. We see all of it. The gore effects are disturbingly real, and Kilmer’s performance captures the eerie detachment of someone too fascinated by death to care that he’s the one dying. It’s not an easy scene to watch.

What’s even more disturbing is the reaction of Dead’s “friend,” Euronymous (Rory Culkin). The founder and lead guitarist of Mayhem is the one who discovers the body. Instead of calling an ambulance, he drives to a store, buys a disposable camera, and takes pictures. Later he hands out necklaces he claims were made from fragments of Dead’s skull. He uses the notoriety of the suicide to launch a record label and brand Mayhem as the world’s most evil band.

After Dead’s death, Euronymous is approached by Varg Vikernes (Emory Cohen), a fan he’d once cruelly dismissed. Varg has remade himself as a neo-Nazi pagan musician. When Euronymous agrees to produce Varg’s debut album, Varg celebrates by burning down a church. Soon he’s on a church-burning spree. Meanwhile another of Varg’s acquaintances, Faust (Valter Skarsgård), brutally murders a gay man in a park. Euronymous, who built his fame on songs about death and destruction, suddenly finds himself surrounded by people who are actually killing and destroying. Eventually they come for him too.

I should state right now that I’m hardly an expert on Norwegian black metal. It’s not my kind of music. I’ve read a little about the murder of Euronymous and Varg Vikernes’s subsequent career, but I’m in no position to judge how accurate the film is. Plenty of people online were critical of the way it chose to tell the story. Having watched it, I don’t feel it gave me any real insight into what the black metal scene was actually about. If anything, it portrays Euronymous as something of a poseur. Toward the end he tells Varg the whole thing was just an act. Varg doesn’t take it well.

In real life Varg Vikernes served 15 years for the church burnings and the murder of Euronymous. During the COVID years he made a few comments critical of the lockdowns and of “wokeness.” I remember a fellow film critic (someone who’s never written for this site, I should add) was incredibly impressed and started telling everyone they needed to read him. A few of us pointed out that Vikernes was not only a convicted murderer but a neo-Nazi who hated America and was the last person she should be embracing, lockdown opinions or not. For weeks she refused to believe it. Eventually someone told her to read his Wikipedia page and she never mentioned him again.

As for the film itself, it does a good job of capturing the rebellion and directionless anger that could pull someone toward a band like Mayhem. Rory Culkin is strong as Euronymous, smug and arrogant at the start and learning a little humility only when it’s far too late. Emory Cohen has a few effective moments as Varg, but there are also stretches where the character and Cohen’s performance just comes across as being .… well, goofy. Director Jonas Akerlund may have started as a drummer for a black metal band but the film leaves you with the feeling that he doesn’t care much for the scene or have much use for the people who populate it and it’s difficult to get emotionally involved with a film that doesn’t seem to really care about its characters. It’s a well-made and at times disturbingly graphic film, but in the end it never quite convinces the uninitiated that they should care about this story.

The Devil’s Mouth, Dir. Jeff Wadlow, Review by Case Wright

Posted on October 1, 2026 by casewright

Happy Horrorthon.

This is movie should be called- Thank Goodness, my friends are all dead!

I don’t always hope for the death of comrades, but when I do I drink… well, it’s Pellegrino…

“The Devil’s Mouth” is a movie that looks more expensive that it is and that is actually a signature of the producer/director Jeff Wadlow. He budgets his films to have nothing left at the end; so, it looks like a studio film, but it was only 3.5MM.

If you’re trying become a filmmaker on a budget, watch an interview with Jeff Wadlow below.

This was a great way to begin my Horrorthon because I got to start it with Lisa. My regular readers know that Horrorthon films are a mixed bag, AT BEST. There are movies that don’t take themselves seriously and just have fun, there are short films that are masterworks, and there are Alex Magana films that strain my belief in humanity’s ability for redemption.

“The Devil’s Mouth” takes place in Thailand and Sara McKenna (Kathryn Newton) is on an caving trip with her MANY toxic friends. Five minutes into the film and the friends are all snorkeling; unfortunately, Sara decides to snorkel too, but her terrible friends mix themselves up and boat off and leave her behind “47 Meters Down” style. Then, she gets attacked by jellyfish and gets actual wounds. Her most toxic friend Max (Lana Condor) doesn’t even apologize. Max’s main personality trait is that she bosses people around the whole movie (badly) and gets most of the group killed.

Sara needs a tough love friend or dad to say, “Look, you’re comin home or I’ll meet you there. Leave that trash behind!”

Also, why are these 20 somethings going caving in the first place and not wanting to just drink and sleep around…ON LAND?! You’re in Thailand! You all should be trying create some souped up version of HPV.

Sara and her terrible friends go to this cave system that was flooded with salt water and it looks super creepy and Max demands the group ignore the guide and go in the evil cave system. It is really amazing that Max and her friends have lived as long as they have. They can barely swim, they have claustrophobia, relationship issues, and Max, the toxic garbage person, leading them.

Because the cave was flooded with salt water, bull sharks have come into the cave system and start eating them all. Unfortunately, Max stubbornly continues to live until the final 15 minutes. Sara valiantly fights of sharks and risks her life to try to keep the body count down, but the sharks just want it more!

I highly recommend watching this film!

The Films of Dario Argento: Phantom Of The Opera

Posted on October 1, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Dario Argento spent years trying to bring his version of The Phantom of the Opera to life.

Argento has said that he’s always been fascinated by the story of the mysterious and deformed man living underneath the Paris Opera. He has described watching Arthur Lubin’s 1943 version of the tale as one of the formative events of his childhood. In the ’70s, when he was at the height of his popularity, Argento sought to film his own version of the story in Moscow. When that didn’t work out, Argento put his plans for the Phantom aside. It wasn’t until he was filming Trauma and caught a television airing of the 1925 Phantom of the Opera that Argento returned to the project. Argento’s version of The Phantom of the Opera was released in 1998 and was dismissed by most critics. Even today, it has a reputation for being Argento’s worst film. It’s also not an easy one to see. Whereas most of Argento’s films are always streaming somewhere, The Phantom of the Opera usually is not.

Argento’s Phantom of the Opera opens in Paris in the 19th century. A baby is placed in a basket and, much like Moses, is set adrift in a river. A group of empathetic rats save the baby. The baby grows up to be the Phantom of the Opera (Julian Sands), a classically handsome man who lives in the sewers and protects the rats from anyone who might try to harm them. (Just as rats are killed if they leave the sewers, humans are killed if they enter them.) After the Phantom hears Christine Daaé (Asia Argento) singing alone on the stage of the Paris Opera, he approaches her in the empty theater and tells her that her singing has brought light to his heart. The Phantom and Christine develop a telepathic bond, and she becomes the only person whom he allows to enter the sewers and live. Sometimes Christine loves the Phantom and sometimes she doesn’t. Sometimes the Phantom is a tragically romantic figure and sometimes he’s just a black-clad figure who bites people’s tongues out of their mouths. The Phantom becomes obsessed with Christine, and Christine becomes just as obsessed with the Phantom. Meanwhile, Christine’s other suitor—the aristocratic Raoul (Andrea Di Stefano)—smokes opium, hallucinates that Christine has turned into a prostitute, and languidly watches as two men jump into a pool and fight over the merits of Rimbaud. Painter Edgar Degas makes a cameo appearance but manages to avoid the Phantom’s wrath.

As I mentioned earlier, The Phantom of the Opera is not one of Argento’s more highly regarded films. It’s a slow-paced film, one in which the action often seems to go off on strange tangents that don’t really pay off in the long run. (The opium den brings to mind the deliberately ugly orgy scenes that Tinto Brass directed for Caligula, just without the subversive snap.) Argento attempts to portray the Phantom as both an achingly romantic figure and the type of sociopath who brutally kills anyone who enters the sewer. If he were only killing the rat catchers, the Phantom’s actions could be understood. But as soon as he kills two lovers who just happened to be looking for some privacy, it becomes impossible to sympathize with him. Argento’s attempt to portray The Phantom of the Opera as a story of romance sits uncomfortably with scenes in which the Phantom forces himself on Christine.

That said, I actually like Julian Sands’s performance as the Phantom. Argento’s Phantom is not disfigured in any way and, while that may go against the spirit of the story, at least it means Julian Sands didn’t have to wear a mask while filming his role. Sands exudes a cool, sexy danger, and that makes him just right for Argento’s version of the character. Asia Argento plays Christine as someone who only looks innocent, and it does bring an interesting subtext to the story. Indeed, if not for the prologue featuring the rats saving the Phantom as a baby, one could interpret the Phantom as a manifestation of Christine’s own psychosis. As for the rats, they are yet another example of Argento suggesting that animals have special telepathic powers. For all the criticism Argento has taken for the mystical animals he has included in his later films, it appears to be an idea Argento really likes. Personally, I think there’s a quirky charm to it, but I seem to be in the minority.

I can defend elements of The Phantom of the Opera, but I can’t really defend the film as a whole. It’s a bit too cluttered in its storytelling, and the mix of grand romance and brutal violence doesn’t really work. If this film had been made earlier in Argento’s career, perhaps he could have recreated the grandeur of Paris, but at a time when his films were no longer automatic box-office hits and when the Italian film industry itself was struggling, The Phantom of the Opera often looks cheap and unconvincing. Every director has the occasional misfire. Dario Argento has The Phantom of the Opera.