For the 10 Year Old in All of Us: THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE (Warner Brothers 2017)


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Before I start this post, allow me to introduce you to today’s co-reviewer:

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This is my young friend James. I first met him when I was working with his mother. He was a shy three-year-old whose father had disavowed him. He was mistrustful of most adults, but for whatever reason, he took a liking to me, and “adopted” me as his best friend. I’ve become somewhat of a mentor to him, and we have lots of fun going places like Chuck E. Cheese, the park, the zoo, and the movies. He’s ten now, and a big Lego fan, so naturally we saw THE LEGO MOVIE together. When I asked him if he wanted to see THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE, he got super-excited. I must admit I was too, being a huge Batmaniac myself.

So today we went to check it out. James told me his school friends said it was “cool”…

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A Movie A Day #64: Gunslinger (1956, directed by Roger Corman)


gunslinger_posterWelcome to Oracle, Texas.  It’s a dusty little town in the old west.  Marshal Scott Hood (William Schallert) may uphold the law but everyone knows that the town is actually run by Erica (Allison Hayes), the owner of the local saloon.  Erica knows that a railroad may be coming to town so she comes up with a plan to buy all the land around Oracle.  She sends her lackey, Jake (Jonathan Haze), to each landowner.  Jake buys the land then murders the landowner so that he can get the money back.

When Scott is gunned down by two outlaws, his widow, Rose (Beverly Garland), takes over as temporary marshal.  Rose has two weeks until the new marshal arrives but that is just enough time for nearly everyone in town to get killed.  It starts when Rose orders Erica to close her saloon at three in the morning.  Erica loses the epic catfight that follows so she hires her former lover, Cane Miro (John Ireland), to come to town and kill Rose.  Cane is more interested in killing the town’s mayor (Martin Kingsley), a former Confederate who abandoned Cane and his brothers to Union forces during the Civil War.  Even more complications arise when Cane and Rose fall in love.

Roger Corman has described Gunslinger as being his most miserable experience as a director.  He filmed it in six days and it rained for five of them, causing cameras and lights to sink into the mud.  Both Allison Hayes and Beverly Garland were injured during filming, with Hayes breaking her arm after falling off a horse and Garland spraining her ankle while running down the stairs of the saloon.  During the filming of an outdoor love scene, both Ireland and Garland were attacked by fire ants.

Gunslinger is usually savaged by reviewers and it was featured on an early episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.  But how can any film be that bad if it features an epic cat fight between Beverly Garland and Allison Hayes?  Gunslinger is proof that Beverly Garland and Allison Hayes were actress who could make something entertaining out of even the least inspiring material. Garland gives a serious, heartfelt performance while Hayes goes all out as evil Erica.  Years before he played Seymour in Corman’s Little Shop of Horrors, Jonathan Haze is intensely weird as Jake. As with many Corman films, part of the fun is watching for members of the Corman stock company, like Dick Miller and Bruno VeSota, in small roles.   Gunslinger may not be a classic but I like it.

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Film Review: Custody (dir by James Lapine)


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Last night’s Lifetime movie premiere, Custody, didn’t really feel like a Lifetime film.

This was largely because it really wasn’t.  Custody was written and directed by the acclaimed theatrical director, James Lapine.  The cast features not only Emmy winner Tony Shalhoub and Oscar nominee Catalina Sandino Moreno but also two Oscar winners, Viola Davis and Ellen Burstyn.  Unlike most Lifetime films, Custody was not filmed in Canada.  There were no Toronto landmarks in the background.  (You never realize how much you miss Canada until it’s gone.)  Custody played at Tribeca last year.  Much like Stockholm, Pennsylvania, Custody was made for a theatrical release but it ended up premiering on television instead.  As a result, Custody did not follow the usual Lifetime 8 act pattern.  The commercial breaks felt awkward.  With a 150 minutes running time, this film tested my four-minute attention span.

The other thing that set Custody apart from most other Lifetime films was that it wasn’t much fun to watch.  The great thing about Lifetime movies is that they are almost always fun.  It doesn’t matter what serious subject is being examined.  It doesn’t matter how dramatic things may get.  Lifetime movies are always fun.  To use one of my favorite terms, Lifetime movies embrace the melodrama.  Lifetime films push the limits.  Lifetime films say, “You think we won’t introduce a crazy twin halfway through the movie?  JUST WATCH US!  You think we won’t toss in a sudden case of amnesia or a cheating husband or a psychotic au pair in lingerie?  YOU DON’T KNOW LIFETIME!”

Custody, on the other hand, was a very serious movie about a very serious topic and therefore, it wasn’t much fun to watch.  In fact, Custody was a bit of a well-intentioned mess.  It followed one case as it worked its way through the family court system.  Sara Diaz (Moreno) has been wrongly accused of being an unfit mother.  Her attorney is Ally Fisher (Hayden Panettiere), who has just graduated from law school and who comes from a rich family.  Ally’s grandmother is played by Ellen Burstyn, largely because everyone’s rich grandmother is played by Ellen Burstyn.  Representing the state is Keith (Dan Fogler), who has absolutely horrid taste in ties.  The judge is played by Viola Davis and she’s going through a messy divorce from Tony Shalhoub.

I could see what Lapine was going for.  Custody juggles several plotlines, showing how everyone involved in the case has their own individual biases and problems to deal with.  Will the judge’s dissolving marriage make her more or less sympathetic to Sara?  Will the white and privileged Ally ever be able to truly understand Sara’s situation?  Will Keith ever learn how to properly select a tie?  These issues may seem petty when taken on their own but, when crammed together, they form one big human drama.

Or, at least, that seems to have been the plan.  Lapine gets some good performances from his cast but Custody never quite comes together.  This is one of those heavy-handed films where characterization is more likely to be advanced by a lengthy monologue than by action.  Add to that, Custody is ultimately far too enamored of the family court system.  Everyone means only the best and the bureaucracy is your friend.

I will say this.  Based on my own experience working as an administrative assistant in a law office, Custody does get one thing very right.  Male lawyers are always the worst dressed people at any courthouse.  On this count, Dan Fogler played one of the most realistic attorneys ever seen on TV.

 

Lisa’s Too Early Oscar Predictions For March


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It’s that time of month!  Here are my Oscar predictions from March.  As you can tell by comparing this month’s predictions to my predictions for January and February, I’ve learned a bit more about the films that will be coming out over the next few months and I’ve changed my mind on quite a few of the early contenders.

That said, at this time last year, no one had even heard of Moonlight.  At this point, almost all of these predictions are the result of wishful thinking, random guesses, and gut instinct.

Best Picture

Battles of the Sexes

Call Me By Your Name

Darkest Hour

Downsizing

Dunkirk

The Glass Castle

The Leisure Seeker

Logan

Mudbound

Wonderstruck

I went back and forth on whether or not to include Logan in my predictions.  On the one hand, I think it could be nominated.  On the other hand, regardless of how acclaimed it may be, it is also a comic book movie that came out in March.  In the end, since these predictions are mostly just for fun at this point, I decided to imagine a situation where — like Mad Max: Fury Road two years ago — the film’s box office carries it through the summer and it gets some needed support from the precursors in December.

(For the record, if I had decided not to include Logan, I would have replaced it with Blade Runner 2049.)

 

Best Director

James Mangold for Logan

Luca Guadagnino for Call Me By Your Name

Alexander Payne for Downsizing

Dee Rees for Mudbound

Joe Wright for Darkest Hour

If Logan were to get a best picture nomination, I imagine that James Mangold would get a nomination along with it.

 

Best Actor

Chadwick Boseman in Marshall

Tom Cruise in American Made

Gary Oldman in Darkest Hour

Miles Teller in Thank You For Your Service

Donald Sutherland in The Leisure Seeker

The two additions here are Teller and Sutherland.  Teller seems destined to be nominated some day, assuming that he spends more time making films like Whiplash and less time on stuff like Fantastic Four.  Despite a long and distinguished career, Sutherland has never been nominated.  In The Leisure Seeker, he plays a man suffering from Alzheimer’s.  It sounds like a role for which he could not only be nominated but for which he could also win.

 

Best Actress

Judi Dench in Victoria and Abdul

Brie Larson in The Glass Castle

Helen Mirren in The Leisure Seeker

Carey Mulligan in Mudbound

Emma Stone in Battle of the Sexes

The two new contenders here are Mirren and Larson.  Mirren always has to be considered to be a contender and Larson’s upcoming film, The Glass Castle, sounds like pure Oscar bait.

 

Best Supporting Actor

James Franco in The Masterpiece

Armie Hammer in Call Me By Your Name

Woody Harrelson in The Glass Castle

John Hurt in Darkest Hour

Patrick Stewart in Logan

Yes, I’m still predicting that James Franco will be nominated for playing Tommy Wiseau.  It may be wishful thinking on my part but so be it.  Every year, Armie Hammer seems to be on the verge of being nominated for something.  Harrelson is included as a part of The Glass Castle package.  Stewart is overdue for a nomination.  As for John Hurt, he was nominated but never won an Oscar during his lifetime.  Darkest Hour could provide the Academy with a chance to honor the man’s distinguished career, in much the same way that The Dark Knight allowed them to honor Heath Ledger.

 

Best Supporting Actress

Holly Hunter in The Big Sick

Melissa Leo in Novitiate

Julianne Moore in Wonderstruck

Kristin Scott Thomas in Darkest Hour

Naomi Watts in The Glass Castle

I don’t know much about Moore’s role in Wonderstruck but the film is directed by Todd Haynes, a filmmaker who previously directed Moore in her finest performance in Safe.

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Quick Review: Logan (dir. by James Mangold)


logan_2017_posterHey, bub! Before you read this,  Lisa already has an awesome review for Logan. Start there first, and if you feel like it, double back here.

The short of it:

+ Might be Jackman and Stewart’s best turn in their roles since X-2:X-Men United.

+ Logan’s well written, with some good characterization, particularly among the leads. There’s a vulnerability here.

+ It’s brutal. Logan is the bloody version of Wolverine we all hoped for.

+ Moves like the best of Westerns. Just about as cool as 3:10 to Yuma.

+ Though changed from her comic book origins Laura (X-23) is awesome on screen.

– The film feels long. For a film that’s just a hair over 2 hours, it feel almost like 3.

– Some of the action scenes may be a little quick for the camera.

– There isn’t an answer/explanation for everything (nor should there be).

The long of it:

I was 25 when I saw the original X-Men in the cinema. While everyone was excited to see their favorite mutants show up on screen (no Nightcrawler for me – that would take the sequel), it was Wolverine that caused the most buzz. When Hugh Jackman first stepped into the role, there was a great deal of skepticism. He wasn’t short and stocky nor big and bulky, and there was only so much one could do to give him that Wolverine look. Yet, he made the role his own and despite a few stutter-steps (such as X-Men: The Last Stand, X-Men Origins: Wolverine), it’s hard to fathom any X-Men film without him.

The same can also be said of Patrick Stewart. Just about the easiest first pick for Charles Xavier anyone could have, his time with the X-Men is only slightly shorter as he wasn’t really needed for X-Men: First Class.

It’s been roughly 17 years for them both. That’s longer than any single actor’s run of James Bond. Longer than any superhero portrayal – Christopher Reeve only had a decade as Superman. Robert Downey Jr. Has about 9 years under his belt as Iron Man. It’s about time that their stories come to a close.

There was a bit of yawning and exaggerated sighing in my screening of Logan, which leads me to believe the audience was really expecting a faster paced film. I didn’t get the outright snoring that occurred during a Manhattan showing of the Robocop remake, if that’s any consolation. Usually the Midnight crowd are the liveliest bunch of patrons, particularly when it comes to superhero or action films. At its heart, Logan is a drama piece peppered with action sequences. It honestly felt like a really good Western, with an old cowboy that wants nothing more than to hang up his guns, yet finds their peace constantly challenged. The film has a lot of exposition through dialogue, and for some, this could make the story feel really slow at times. It’s not a superhero action film, even though it has its moments.

The Western angle is of no real surprise here, given that Logan reunites 3:10 to Yuma and The Wolverine director James Mangold with both Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart. It flows in the same fashion as Yuma, but with mutants.

Logan takes place in a future timeline where no new mutants have appeared in nearly 20 years (which is very similar to Alfonso Cuaron’s Children of Men). James Howlett is a broken individual working as a limo driver. Time has taken its toll on The Wolverine. He doesn’t heal as well as he used to and he struggles with the Adamantium in his bones. Adding to Logan’s troubles is an ailing Charles Xavier. Forced to take care of him both out of friendship and the possible danger he poses, I felt it added a great level of vulnerability to both individuals. They’re both nearing their end and they can’t count on their abilities to rescue them as well as it once could. The conversations between them speak of regrets and/or just keeping afloat, though Xavier is still hopeful that there’s some good on the horizon. Their long term friendship also adds to the banter between the two, with a few comical quips throughout the film.

The audience never truly learns how this timeline occurred, but it doesn’t truly matter. This is a character driven film, not so much a plot driven one. The story amps up a little once Laura (Dafne Keen, in her first role) enters the mix. Those familiar with her comic origins will spot the connection, though it’s been changed in a number of ways to fit Mangold’s screenplay. Both Keen and Laura match up so well here that you could disregard the comic altogether in favor of this cinematic origin. Laura is being chased by a group of mercenaries led by Pierce (Brad Holbrook – Netflix’s Narcos), and her protector asks Logan to take her to a designated place.

Taking a cue from Deadpool’s success, Logan went with a R rating and makes the most of it. There’s profanity abound, and when the claws come out, there’s major bloodshed. Heads are skewered, limbs are lost and it’s a beautiful sight to behold. Did the movie have to have the blood? Perhaps not, but it doesn’t really detract from the story. If anything, it might come as a surprise when you first witness it all on screen. The only drawback to this is that some of the fight sequences are so quick that you could miss some of the movements. It’s not a terrible thing at all, but it may warrant a second viewing to catch everything.

In the end, Logan a perfect final chapter for one of the most popular X-Men out there.  We’ve all grown with both the character and the actors involved.

Experience Matters: THE PROFESSIONALS (Columbia 1966)


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A quartet of macho mercenaries – Lee Marvin Burt Lancaster Robert Ryan , and Woody Strode  – cross the dangerous Mexican desert and attempt to rescue a rich man’s wife kidnapped by a violent revolutionary in writer/director Richard Brooks’ THE PROFESSIONALS, an action-packed Western set in 1917.  The film’s tone is closer to Sergio Leone’s Spaghetti Westerns than the usual Hollywood oater, though Leone’s trilogy wouldn’t hit American shores until a year later.

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Rich rancher J.W.Grant (screen vet Ralph Bellamy ) hires the quartet to retrieve wife Maria (Claudia Cardinale) from Jesus Raza (Jack Palance ), formerly a captain in Pancho Villa’s army, now a wanted bandito. Marvin is the stoic leader, a weapons expert who once rode with Raza for Villa, as did Lancaster’s explosives whiz. Ryan plays a sympathetic part (for a change) as the horse wrangling expert, while Strode is a former scout and bounty hunter adept…

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A Movie A Day #63: Showdown (1973, directed by George Seaton)


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Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

The time and the place is the old west.  Growing up, Chuck Jarvis (Rock Hudson) and Billy Massey (Dean Martin) were best friends.  When the lovely Kate (Susan Clark) chose Chuck over Billy, the two of them go their separate ways.  Billy becomes a notorious train robber.  Chuck becomes the sheriff of their hometown.  After Billy returns home, it is up to Chuck to not only capture him but to also protect him from not only his former partners but a gang of vigilantes as well.

There’s nothing surprising about Showdown, a strictly by the numbers western that, if not for a few bloody gunshot wounds and some dialogue about cattle “humping,” could have just as easily been released in 1953 as 1973.  The only thing that makes Showdown special is that it was the last western made by both Rock Hudson and Dean Martin.  Dino is his usual fun-loving, half-soused self but Rock Hudson looks absolutely miserable here.  If Rock’s role had been played by Frank Sinatra (or even Peter Lawford), Showdown would probably be remembered as a minor classic.  As it is, it’s for Dean Martin completists only.

 

Film Review: Logan (dir by James Mangold)


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Logan is the first great film of 2017.

It’s also one of the darkest.  The specter of death hangs over almost every scene and, when death does come, it doesn’t discriminate.  Good and likable people are just as likely to die as the film’s villains and, when they do die, it’s never a merciful passing.  There is some humor but it’s the type of humor that’s generated by being trapped in a hopeless situation.  This is one of those movies where, when you do laugh, it’s because the only other alternative is just to give up.

What’s the common complaint about comic book films?  That they only exist to sell more comic books and that they are often fatally compromised by the need to appeal to as many viewers as possible?  Well, that’s not a problem with Logan.  Logan is a film for grown ups.  During the film, when Logan (played, of course, by Hugh Jackman) comes across an X-Men comic book, he dismisses it as a fairy tale.  “In the real world,” he snaps, “people die!”

That’s not to say that Logan’s a hopeless film.  There is an optimistic streak to the film but it’s a cautious optimism.  Much like Mad Max: Fury Road, Logan suggests that the best thing that the world has left to offer is a chance for redemption.

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Now, I should point out that, while I enjoyed some of the previous films (particularly X-Men: First Class), I’m hardly an expert on the X-men franchise.  But, with Logan, that doesn’t matter.  Certainly, it helps to have seen some of the previous films.  There are a few references to X-Men: Apocalypse.  But, in the end, Logan works as a stand alone film.  Even if you’ve seen none of the previous X-men films, you’ll find yourselves getting swept up in the story of Logan, Professor Xavier (Patrick Stewart), Caliban (Stephen Merchant), and Laura (Dafne Keen).

The film opens in 2029.  There are only a few hints that we’re in the future: driverless truck rule the roads and, more disturbingly, it seems as if there’s fewer people around than before.  Watching the film, which is full of wide open spaces and desolate towns, one gets the feeling that something has happened that has wiped out a good deal of the population.  Almost all of the mutants are dead.  Logan (Hugh Jackman) lives across the border, in Mexico.  His only companion is the albino Caliban and Xavier.

However, this Xavier is far different from the one that we’ve seen in previous films.  Suffering from Alzheimer’s, Xavier is often confused as to where he is and, if he’s not properly medicated, he can’t control his psychic powers.  What’s left of Logan’s life is now dedicated to trying to keep the greatest mind in the world from destroying itself.

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Logan has also changed.  In the previous films, Logan was indestructible.  However, his powers are weakening.  He no longer heals as quickly as before.  He’s losing his eyesight.  Even his famous claws are no longer as reliable as they once were.  Logan now works as a limo driver in El Paso.  One night, a group of frat boys have him drive by the border crossing so that they can chant “USA!  USA!”  Another night, he drives around a drunken bachelorette party, trying to ignore one of the bridesmaids exposing her breasts to him.  And then, he picks up Gabriella (Elizabeth Rodriguez) and Laura.

Gabriella is a nurse.  Laura is an apparently mute 11 year-old girl who has the same powers as Logan.  Gabriella asks Logan to help them get to North Dakota (or “Eden,” as Gabriella calls it).  Logan says no but he quickly discovers that he doesn’t have a choice.  A sadistic cyborg named Donald Pierce (Boyd Holbrook, giving a disturbingly charismatic performance) is searching for Gabriella, Laura, and Logan.  The only way for Logan to protect Xavier is to make that trip to North Dakota.

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Pierce, I should mention, isn’t alone.  Pierce has a black-clad army of mercenaries at his disposal but he, and his employer (Richard E. Grant, in the role of the bad guy with the British accent), have a secret weapon.  This weapon looks and acts like a young Logan and there’s a reason for that.  By the end of the film, Logan truly is at war with the savage beast that he once was.

Logan is a violent film, one that doesn’t flinch when it comes to earning its R-rated.  I don’t want to give too much away so excuse my vagueness when I say that, a little over an hour into Logan, there’s a fight scene of such brutality and uncompromising violence that it left me shaken in a way that no other “comic book” film ever has.  Logan earns that R-rating but it never feels exploitive or gratuitous.  When Logan curses (which he does quite a bit), it’s because that’s what people do when they’re in a hopeless situation.  And, for all the fighting and all the blood and all the death, Logan never celebrates violence.

Instead, it celebrates redemption.

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Early on, there’s a rather sweet scene where Xavier and Laura watch Shane on television.  It’s an important scene because, in many ways, Logan is a western.  Logan is the mysterious gunslinger who, after a lifetime of violence, finally has a chance to do something to preserve life rather than spread death.  Just in case we missed, director James Mangold includes a scene in which Logan and Xavier help a family of ranchers round up some horses.  Later, there’s a tense stand-off between Logan and a group of cowboy hat-wearing rednecks that feels as if it could have come straight from a spaghetti western.

Hugh Jackman is an acclaimed and accomplished actor but, to many people, he will always be the Wolverine.  This is his 9th time to play the character and Jackman gives not only his best performance in the role but perhaps the best performance of his career.  (It’s certainly the equal of his Oscar-nominated work in Les Miserables.)  One look at Jackman’s weathered face and his haunted eyes and you immediately know that there’s going to be more to Logan than just comic book action.  And then there’s Patrick Stewart, who has never been more heartbreaking and vulnerable than he is here.  Finally, Dafne Keen gives a fierce performance, one that will probably remind many people of Chloe Grace Moretz’s breakthrough role in Kick-Ass.

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Earlier, I mentioned Mad Max: Fury Road.  It’s an appropriate comparison, as the two films have much in common.  (That said, Logan definitely establishes its own identity.)  There’s been some talk that Logan could be the first comic book film to ever receive a nomination for best picture.  I don’t know if that’s going to happen or not.  (I fear that a lot of Academy members will mentally check out during a jokey pre-credits sequence, one that serves as a teaser for the sequel to Deadpool.  I understand why it was included it at the beginning of the film.  Logan ends on such a poignant note that a post-credits scene would have felt inappropriate.  But still, as much as I love Ryan Reynolds, it feels out-of-place.)  I will say this — Logan deserves consideration.  Logan occasionally had me fighting to catch my breath and it left me with tears in my eyes.  For Logan to get a nomination, it’s going to need the same support from the critics groups that Mad Max: Fury Road received.  The Academy is going to need the critics to reassure them that it’s okay to nominate a film about mutants being chased by a cyborg.  It’s still early in the year.  Anything could happen.

It could be nominated for every Oscar or it could be nominated for none.  But, in the end, Logan is a great film.

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A Movie A Day #62: Rude Boy (1980, directed by Jack Hazan and David Mingay)


rude_boy_filmLondon.  1980.  Ray (Ray Gange) is an alcoholic who lives in a council block, one that is decorated by the type of racist graffiti that, years later, is still a distressingly common site in London.  Ray spends his days working at a Soho sex shop and his nights drinking.  One night, at the pub, he drunkenly shares his opinion that politics is all “bollocks.”  The man that Ray is talking to is Joe Strummer of The Clash.  Soon, Ray (whose sympathies make him a natural supporter of the National Front) is a roadie for punk rock’s most prominent socialists.  “I’m watching you!” Mick Jones snarls at Ray.  At another point, he yells at Ray to “Get off the fucking stage!” during a show.  The perpetually drunk Ray struggles with even the slightest of duties but he loves The Clash, even though they seem to hate him.

Rude Boy is an odd one and, watching it, it’s not surprising to learn The Clash subsequently disavowed the movie.  Whenever The Clash are off-stage, they simply do not come across well.  For a proponent of world revolution, Mick Jones seems a little too comfortable with his role as a decadent rock star.  Joe Strummer, one of the most incendiary political lyricists of all time, struggles to articulate his views whenever he’s not performing and is often reduced to mumbling clichés about the people’s struggle.  Fortunately, the majority of Rude Boy is taken up by footage of The Clash performing, whether in the studio recording Give ‘Em Enough Rope or on tour or at a Rock Against Racism concert.  The footage of The Clash performing is never less than amazing, though it is easy to see what Johnny Lydon meant when he complained that The Clash were so high energy and undisciplined that they always burned themselves out three or four songs into a show.

As for the rest of the movie, it was largely improvised, with only a few scripted scenes.  While I think Rude Boy would have made a stronger statement if it had just been a straight concert film, its documentary style does capture the bleak lives of despair that inspired a thousand punk songs.  Because of Rude Boy‘s uneven structure, the life of Ray the Roadie may not seem to add up to much, especially when compared to everything else going on around him.

Maybe that was the point.

A Movie A Day #61: Kickboxer (1989, directed by Mark DiSalle and David Worth)


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Of the second tier action stars of the late 80s and 90s, Jean-Claude Van Damme was perhaps the best.  Dolph Lundgren may have been a better actor but he could not match Van Damme’s athleticism.  Steven Seagal, in the years of before the weight gain, was rumored to be a more authentic martial artist but everyone knew he was also an asshole and couldn’t act worth shit.  Van Damme was always fun to watch, especially if you were a kid at the time his movies were in the theaters or showing up on a cable.  Everyone wanted to be Jean-Claude Van Damme after watching one of his best movies.  So what if he was a stiff actor with a thick accent?  That hadn’t hurt Schwarzenegger or Stallone.

Kickboxer was the film that introduced most people to Van Damme.  Kurt Sloane (Van Damme!) is the cornerman for his brother, Eric (Dennis Alexio), America’s kickboxing champion.  Eric is lured to Thailand to fight the viscous Tong Po (Michel Qissi, a childhood friend of Van Damme’s).  How evil is Tong Po?  He is so evil that, when Kurt tries to throw the towel and end the fight, Tong kicks the towel out of the ring.  That’s evil!

What are you doing here, Duke!?

What are you doing here, Duke!?

After the fight leaves Eric crippled, Kurt gets revenge the only way he can.  He enters the ring and takes on Tong Po, himself!  They fight the ancient way, with both of their hands covered with broken glass.  When you’re 12 years old and watching an R-rated film on HBO, that is really cool.  Of course, before Kurt can enter the ring, he has to go through a training montage with Xian Chan (Dennis Chan) and fight off Tong Po’s sponsor, local gangster Freddy Li (Ka Ting Lee).

Rewatching Kickboxer, I saw it was even more predictable than I remembered.  At the same time, it was impossible not to, once again, get caught up in that final fight between Kurt and Tong Po.  The montages may have been silly.  The soundtrack may have been cheesy.  Van Damme may have been even more uncertain of an actor than I remembered but it did not matter.  Kickboxer may be dumb but it’s still really cool.  Within a few minutes of watching Kickboxer, I was a kid again and I was having the time of my life.

As for Jean-Claude Van Damme, he went through some well-publicized troubles but he emerged from it all as a far better actor.  Just check out JCVD if you get the chance.

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