KING OF THE ZOMBIES is a 1941 Monogram horror quickie that does not star Bela Lugosi. Apparently, the great Hungarian actor was too busy at the time. I don’t see how, it’s not like he was making A-list epics that year. Looking at his 1941 output, Lugosi starred in the studio’s THE INVISIBLE GHOST, SPOOKS RUN WILD with the East Side Kids, and had small roles in Universal’s THE BLACK CAT and THE WOLF MAN . That’s what, about 4-5 weeks worth of work? Anyway, the part of zombie master Dr. Sangre was taken by Henry Victor, best known as strongman Hercules in Tod Browning’s FREAKS.
What KING OF THE ZOMBIES does have is black comic actor Mantan Moreland . In fact, I’m pretty sure if it wasn’t for Mantan, this film would’ve been lomg forgotten. I know many people today find his pop-eyed, mangled English, “feets do yo stuff” scairdy-cat schtick offensive and…
Down here in Dallas, we celebrate Texas Independence Day by going down to Dealy Plaza and laughing at all the northern tourists sweating and talking about how they’re about to faint because they can’t handle a 75 degreee day.
But, if that sounds a little bit too mean-spirited to you, you can celebrate by watching my favorite scene from Richard Linklater’s Bernie! I know that I’ve probably shared this before but what can I say? I really love this quick lesson about my home state:
By the way, that line about “Dallas snobs,” always got a big laugh from the audiences at the Dallas Angelika. It’s important to have a sense of humor.
Don’t worry, Vermont. You’ll learn how to laugh at yourself someday.
In the future, Marshal O’Neil (Sean Connery) has been hired, by Conglomerates Amalgamated, to enforce the law on a mining outpost that’s located on one of the moons of Jupiter. Why are all the miners going crazy, taking off their spacesuits, and exploding? Are they being hypnotized by that big red spot on Jupiter? Or is the mining supervisor, Sheppard (Peter Boyle), forcing his workers to take amphetamines that cause them to have psychotic episodes? O’Neil suspects the latter so Sheppard summons three intergalactic gunslingers to come and kill the marshal. With no one, except for the outpost’s doctor (Frances Sternhagen), willing to stand behind him, O’Neil must stand up to three gunmen by himself.
The comparison between High Noon and Outland is obvious but the movie also owes much to Alien. With its corrupt corporation, claustrophobic sets, and its blue-collar space workers, Outland seems like it could be taking place in the same movie universe as the Alien movies. Like a lot of the films that Peter Hyams has directed, Outland is ambitious but slow. It is never as much fun as something like Moon Zero Two. The best thing about Outland is Sean Connery, convincingly cast as Gary Cooper in space.
Earlier today, I was reading a now-deleted tweet from Congressional candidate Brianna Wu, in which she speculated that private companies would militarize the moon and use it as a place to launch rocks at the Earth. According to Wu, “Rocks dropped from there (the moon) have power of 100s of nuclear bombs.”
This, of course, immediately brought to mind Moon Zero Two, a “space western” that Hammer Films produced in the wake of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
The year is 2021 and the moon is being colonized by private companies. The Americans and the Russians have made peace and now jointly run the Moon Hilton. Bill Kemp (James Olson) was one of the first men in the moon but, having grown disillusioned with working for heartless corporations, Kemp is now an independent operator, salvaging meteorites with his Russian partner, Korminski (Ori Levy). With his flight license about to be revoked by his enemies in the Corporation, Kemp has been grounded by his own girlfriend, Sheriff Elizabeth Murphy (Adrienne Corri).
Possible financial salvation comes when Kemp is hired by J. J. Hubbard (Warren Mitchell) to help him illegally salvage a sapphire asteroid that is orbiting the far side of the moon. At the same time, a young woman named Clementine (Catherine Schell, who later starred in another science fiction epic about the moon, Space: 1999) wants Kemp to help her search for her brother, who went missing while also working on the far side of the moon.
Moon Zero Two starts with some Schoolhouse Rock-style animation that shows how the U.S. and the Russians originally landed on the moon:
Though the animated opening seems more appropriate for an Ealing comedy, the rest of Moon Zero Two is a fairly straight western, with claim jumpers, shootouts, and a few moments of comedy coming from the story being set on the moon instead of Arizona. For instance, there’s a barroom brawl that takes place in zero gravity. Even while paying homage to old westerns, Moon Zero Two also tries to predict the future, which looks a lot like 1969. This means psychedelic costumes and a Vegas style dance revue at the Moon Hilton, one that is reminiscent of the USO show in Apocalypse Now. The mix of styles is enjoyably absurd and everyone seems to be having fun playing cowboy.
James Olson is the token American in the cast but, for fans of British comedy, the most interesting thing about Moon Zero Two will be seeing Warren Mitchell, who played Alf Garnett in Til Death Do Us Part and inspired All In The Family‘s Archie Bunker, playing ruthless claim jumper, J. J. Hubbard. Hubbard’s main henchman is played by Bernard Bresslaw, who some viewers may recognize from the Carry On films. Also, Monty Python fans will want to keep an eye out for Carol Cleveland, who has a very small role as a stewardess.
Years after it was first released, Moon Zero Two was one of the first movies to be featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000. This was one of the earliest episodes, from before even TV’s Frank joined the show. I have not seen the MST 3K version but it is available both on YouTube and as a part of Shout Factory’s 25th Anniversary Box Set.
Here’s an artist’s rendering of Crow and Tom Servo having a Moon Zero Two-style shootout.
Tomorrow’s movie a day will be another space western, Peter Hyams’s Outland.
“If you hit a mime,” Detective Bob Bolano (Michael Pena) asks, “does he make a sound?”
“Now, you know,” Detective Terry Malone (Alexander Skarsgard) replies, as he drives his car over a mime.
For the record, the Mime was a cocaine dealer so the detectives did have a reason for chasing him. Then again, the Mime was also on foot while the detectives were in a car. And the Mime was attempting to surrender when the detectives ran him over.
That scene pretty much sets the tone for the rest of War on Everyone, the latest film from Irish filmmaker John Michael McDonagh. McDonagh is best-known and rightfully acclaimed for his previous two films, The Guard and Calvary. Those two films were both darkly comedic and often violent meditations on life, death, morality, guilt, and redemption. While War on Everyone may not share either one of those films’ deeper concerns, it is definitely violent. And the comedy is definitely dark.
Bob and Terry are two of the most corrupt cops in the history of cinematic police corruption. Bob is a family man, who is full of useless trivia and usually seems to speaking a mile a minute. Terry is single and not quite as talkative. He views the world through permanently bloodshot eyes and always stands with an insolent slouch. Terry is the type who, when he drives down a city street, intentionally bumps into every parked car. When asked why he became a cop, Terry shrugs and replies that it was the only job available where he could shoot people without getting in trouble. When Bob and Terry confront an informant, they both get so caught up in snorting the informant’s cocaine that they forget what they wanted to ask about. Their lieutenant is constantly telling them to ease up on the corruption but, since he’s played by Paul Reiser, no one takes him seriously.
War on Everyone does have a plot but it’s debatable just how important it is. Bob and Terry learn about an up-coming heist. They decide to let the heist happen so that they can then bust the crooks and take the money for themselves. However, because there’s nothing that Bob and Terry can’t screw up, they not only fail to stop the heist but end up spending the rest of the movie trying to track down the money. Along the way, they bond with an orphan and Terry pursues a romance with a former stripper (Tessa Thompson, doing her best with an underwritten role).
The plot is really just an excuse for McDonagh to parody the conventions of the American cop film. Much like Seven Psychopaths (which was directed by John Michael McDonagh’s older brother, Martin), War on Everyone is a film about tangents. The point is to see how many weird directions the story can go in. This is the type of film where, at one point, Terry and Bob fly to Iceland just because.
(Don’t get me wrong. They have a reason for being in Iceland but still, you mostly come away with the feeling that McDonagh thought to himself, “What other New Mexico-set heist film features a trip to Iceland?”)
Particularly when compared to something like Calvary, War on Everyone doesn’t add up to much and yet that really is a part of the film’s charm. At a time when so many films are trying way too hard to be something more than what they actually are, War on Everyone is content to be a thoroughly over-the-top action comedy. It’s a bit like The Nice Guys, just with an even darker worldview.
What’s remarkable is how many critics have insisted in trying to find a deeper meaning where there clearly is none. I hardly ever do this but I have to point out that the A.V. Club review — headlined, undoubtedly by an intern hoping to impress the bosses with the power of snark, Sorry War On Everyone, but it’s not the best time for a comedy about giddily corrupt cops — is remarkable in just how thoroughly it misses the point of the film. If anything, it reads as if the reviewer couldn’t think of anything to say so he decided to engage in some preemptive political virtue signaling.
The review cited above makes the mistake of assuming that War on Everyone is supposed to be taking place in the real world. Everything — from the over-the-top violence to the mix of crude humor with philosophical asides to the mix of 70s music with modern technology — indicates that War on Everyone is meant to take place in a reality other than our own. It’s a dream-like world that was created by other cop movies and, ultimately, those other movies are the only thing that War on Everyone is attempting to critique. In much the style of early Tarantino, War On Everyone is a movie about movies.
(Unlike Tarantino’s last few films, War on Everyone only lasts 98 minutes, which would seem to indicate that McDonagh is superior to Tarantino in one important regard: he knows how and when to edit himself.)
War on Everyone is not for … well, everyone. It’s certainly not a masterpiece in the style of either The Guard or Calvary. It’s lesser McDonagh but, when taken on its own terms, it’s an enjoyable ramble of a movie that’s distinguished by the perfect casting of Skarsgard, Pena, and Reiser.
When I saw that Erin has picked Judge Not My Sins for her artwork of the day, I was reminded of Seven Hours to Judgment, a movie that used to occasionally show up on HBO.
David Reardon (Ron Liebman) owns an electronics store and is professionally known as “Crazy Dave.” When three gang members, led by Chino (Reggie Johnson), are arrested for pushing Dave’s wife off of a subway platform, it looks like the legal system might let them go. Because Dave’s wife is in a coma, she cannot testify that they pushed her. However, Dave has tracked down a witness who saw what Chino did. But the witness is not immediately available to testify. Dave begs Judge John Eden (Beau Bridges) for an extension but the judge is one of those bleeding heart, by-the-book types. Even though he believes Chino to be guilty, Judge Eden dismisses the case. At the same time, Dave’s wife dies and Crazy Dave starts to live up to his nickname.
With the help of one of his employees, the hulking and child-like Ira (Tiny Ron), Dave kidnaps both Judge Eden and his wife (Julianne Phillips). Dave tells Judge Eden that he has seven hours to track down the witness and get the evidence that would have convicted Chino. If Eden doesn’t find the evidence, his wife will be blown up. Judge Eden is dumped in the worst part of town, without any money, identification, or credit cards. Dave tells him, “You helped create these streets!”
The rest of the movie is Eden running through the mean streets of wherever the movie is supposed to be taking place. (It was filmed in Seattle but the city is never specifically named.) Everyone who meets Eden tries to beat him up, which is one way to put a judge who is soft on crime in his place. The only person who doesn’t beat up Eden is a homeless woman who licks his face. Soon, Eden even has Chino after him. The normally laid back and affable Beau Bridges isn’t usually thought of as being an action star and this movie shows why. Judge Eden is such a wuss of a hero that it seems appropriate that he eventually has to hitch a ride in the back of a garbage truck.
Along with the miscasting of Beau Bridges, the other major problem with Seven Hours to Judgment is that it requires us to believe that Dave, even if he is “crazy,” could come up with such an intricate and elaborate plan and set it all up within just a few hours of his wife dying and Chino being released. “Smug liberal get mugged by reality” was a successful theme for many low-budget action films in the 1980s but Seven Hours to Judgment is ultimately just as dumb and implausible as it sounds.
Seven Hours to Judgment was a reunion for Leibman and Bridges, who previously co-starred in an excellent and overlooked road movie called Your Three Minutes Are Up. For some reason, Beau Bridges also directed Seven Hours to Judgment.
Though it won’t be posting for a while, I am writing this at 12:22 on Sunday afternoon. I am so confident that La La Landis going to win Best Picture later tonight that I am including it in the list below. If I’m wrong … well, have fun in the comments!
(Agck! Moonlight won! That’ll teach me to get arrogant about my predictive powers. Fortunately, I was able to correct the list before this post published.)
Anyway, this is my ranking. It’s strictly my opinion. Not everyone here at the Shattered Lens is going to agree with me but … well, what can I say? I love movies. I love the Oscars. I love lists.
Yawn. I’ve written at length about my dislike for this film so I’m not going to waste too much more space on it. It would be nice if James Cameron was capable of writing dialogue that didn’t sound like something that would get a failing grade in a high school creative writing class.
Acclaimed when first released, The Kids Are All Right was forgotten fairly quickly. When seen today, it comes across like a sitcom version of life among the wealthy and out of touch. I don’t think any film featuring an organic food restaurant is going to age well.
While it’s nice that Michael Keaton made a comeback, this is still one of the most overrated films of all time. Will anyone care about Birdman in ten more years?
I not only think that From Russia With Love should have been nominated for best picture, I also think that it should have won. This film featured Sean Connery at his best and it’s one of the few Bond films to work not only as an adventure but as a romance as well.
I’m not a huge fan of Daniel Craig’s interpretation of the character. If Connery was Killer Bond and Roger Moore was Charming Bond, Craig often seems to be Whiny Bond. That said, Skyfall was not only one of the best Bond films but one of the best films of 2012 as well.
This is one of the most underrated of all of the Bond films. Ignore all the gossip over how George Lazenby came to play James Bond and you’ll discover that it is a Skyfall for the 60s.
Live and Let Die will probably never be acclaimed as the other Bond films but I don’t care. I love it. It’s the closest the Bond franchise ever came to achieving the anything-goes insanity of a classic grindhouse film.
Will a James Bond film ever receive a best picture nomination? Normally, I’d say no. But Mad Max: Fury Road changed the rules (for the better). Given the right Bond, the right director, the right story, and the right year, who knows what could happen?
Over the past few years, it’s gotten a little bit more common to see science fiction films nominated for best picture. While a sci-fi film has yet to win best picture, it is no longer as much of a shock to see a science fiction film nominated. At least not as much as it is to see a horror film nominated.
That said, it’s still an uphill fight. Here are 10 science fiction films that I feel could and should have been nominated for best picture:
Metropolis (1927)
Fritz Lang’s expressionistic silent epic remains one of the most influential films of all time. Metropolis was eligible to be nominated during the first year of the Oscars, a year in which not one but two awards for best picture were handed out. That Metropolis was nominated for neither Best Production nor Unique and Artistic Picture was a huge missed opportunity.
2. The War of the Worlds (1953)
This film may be over 60 years old but it’s still one of the best alien invasion films ever made. And yes, I prefer the original to the Spielberg version.
“A planet where apes evolved from man?” No, not quite. “YOU BLEW IT UP! GODDAMN YOU TO HELL!” Yes, that’s better. Today, Planet of the Apes may seem more than a little bit campy but it’s still an unusually intelligent social satire. Charlton Heston’s persona has never been better used.
5. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Can you believe that this classic from Stanley Kubrick was not nominated? Kubrick got a directing nomination but, when it came to picking the best films of the year, the Academy nominated Oliver! and Rachel, Rachel.
6. Blade Runner (1982)
Blade Runner is today recognized as a classic but it originally received mixed reviews and was ignored by the Academy. At the very least, Rutger Hauer deserved a nomination.
This enigmatic film was probably too bizarre and unsettling for the Academy but Jonathan Glazer’s direction and Scarlett Johansson’s performance make Under the Skin a classic.
Whenever I rewatch Guardians of the Galaxy, I’m happy to discover that it still holds up as a wonderful piece of entertainment. It remains my favorite film of 2014.
It’s High Noon in space!
When I saw that Erin has picked 
Through the Shattered Lens 