Adventures in Cleaning Out the DVR: 16 and Missing (dir by Michael Feifer)

Posted on November 14, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Continuing my efforts to clean out the DVR, I followed up A Teacher’s Obsession by watching 16 and Missing. 16 and Missing originally aired on the Lifetime network on October 24th. On that particularly Saturday, I was haunting a Halloween party (booooo!), so I set the DVR to record it.

In many ways, 16 and Missing is a quintessential Lifetime film. It’s about a rebellious teenage girl who has a loving (and underappreciated) mother and a stepfather who is trying way too hard to serve as a replacement patriarchal figure. It also features an initially charming man who later turns out to be a complete psycho. There’s a lot of driving, an important life lesson, and a lot of gunplay. At the end of the movie, the mother is proven right and everyone hugs and strangely enough, nobody seems to be all that traumatized by all of the truly terrible things that have just happened to them. None of that, by the way, is meant to be a criticism. Lifetime movies are a genre all their own and part of the fun comes from their familiarity.

16 and Missing also deals with a common Lifetime movie theme — i.e., that the internet is an evil place that exists only to lead teenage girls astray. In this case, spoiled rotten Abbey (Lizze Broadway) has been using her social media accounts to carry on a two-year, online affair Gavin (Mark Hupka), who claims to be a 23 year-old cop. After Abbey has a fight with her mother, former FBI agent Julia (Ashley Scott), Abbey decides to run away from home. She sneaks out of the house, gets in her car, and drives off to Arizona…

And what immediately bothered me was the fact that Abbey didn’t pack anything before she ran way. Admittedly, this probably says more about me than the movie. I’m just saying that if I had ever run away from home and headed for a different state, I would have brought along a change of clothes.

But anyway, Abbey meets up with Gavin and is shocked to discover that Gavin is a little bit older than 23. And he might not be a cop. And his name might actually be Wesley. And, as soon as she shows up, Gavin/Wesley immediately starts pressuring her to have sex…

Okay, so it’s pretty obvious that Gavin/Wesley wasn’t everything that he said he was and, to the film’s credit, Abbey quickly figures this out. As opposed to a lot of similar Lifetime films (in which the teenage girl is always presented as being far too naive to be believable), 16 and Missing makes it clear that Abbey is a girl who made an impulsive mistake, who understands that she made an impulsive mistake, but who has now found herself trapped by that impulsive mistake.

However, Abbey and Wes-Gavin do have one thing in common. They both lost their fathers in the most violent and disturbing ways possible. Gavin’s father was a cop and Gavin claims that he was shot in the head by his partner. Abbey’s father was abducted and murdered while a 6 year-old Abbey helplessly watched. Could the two events be connected? It wouldn’t be a Lifetime film if they weren’t.

But don’t worry! After breaking into her daughter’s social media accounts, Julia is on the road to Arizona and she’s got a gun…

Anyway, 16 and Missing was an entertaining Lifetime film. If you’re into Lifetime films, especially ones that present the internet as being the root of all evil, you should enjoy this one. And if you’re not into Lifetime movies, you probably wouldn’t be watching in the first place.

Adventures in Cleaning Out the DVR: A Teacher’s Obsession (dir by Blair Hayes)

Posted on November 14, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Continuing my adventures in cleaning out my DVR, I followed up Girl Missing by watching A Teacher’s Obsession, a batshit crazy little film about … well, about a teacher’s obsession.

A Teacher’s Obsession originally aired on September 6th on the Lifetime network. Now, usually, whenever you see a Lifetime movie called A Teacher’s Obsession, you assume that the film is going to be about a teacher having sex with (or trying to have sex with, depending on the film) a student. But, in A Teacher’s Obsession, the teacher wants to be a student’s new BFF.

The student in question is Bridgette (Mia Rose Frampton), who is your typical spoiled upper middle class brat. Her mother, Candace (Molly Hagan), is a local politician. Bridgette makes it a point to always call her mother by her first name and always does so in the snarkiest tone imaginable. Bridgette attends a prestigious academy, where she’s the captain of the school lacrosse team. (What’s the deal with rich people and lacrosse?) However, Bridgette is failing her English class. As the film starts, Bridgette has just been put on academic probation. That means no lacrosse! And, even worse, Candace has forbidden Bridgette from seeing her boyfriend, Bobby (Dillon James).

Fortunately, there’s a new English teacher at the Academy. Her name is Jane (Boti Bliss) and — oh my God, Jane sure is crazy! In fact, Jane is so totally and completely crazy that you can’t help but root for her. That may sound strange but seriously, all the other teachers at the school are so boring and Bridgette is such a spoiled brat that you can’t help but think, Yay! Jane’s here to fuck things up!

The painfully boring (and bearded) calculus teacher, Mr. Jeter (Eric Curtis Johnson), has a crush on Jane and, when she has to, Jane has no trouble leading Mr. Jeter on. But the thing is, Jeter starts to get a little bit too needy and it all leads to this great scene where Jane totally goes off on Mr. Jeter in the teacher’s lounge. While the rest of the teachers sit around and listen like mummified relics of a past era, Jane tells Jeter that he’s overweight, that he has bad breath, that his beard is disgusting, and “your penis is miniscule.” Jeter sits there and listens, unaware that he has soup in his beard.

Jane may occasionally spend time with Mr. Jeter but she is far more interested in being Bridgette’s best friend. She encourages Bridgette to continue to see Bobby and even gives her birth control pills. She tutors Bridgette in English class. She conspires to help Bridgette cheat her way through Mr. Jeter’s class. Jane excitedly makes plans to get a tattoo with Bridgette. (“Do you think I’m too old for a tattoo?” Jane asks with a giggle.) When Bridgette gets a tattoo without inviting Jane to come with her, Jane goes crazy and accuses Bobby of trying to rape her.

And through it all, Candace has secrets of her own to hide. It turns out that Candace and Jane knew each other in the past. Jane used to be obsessed with Candace. Now, she’s obsessed with Bridgette…

A Teacher’s Obsession is one of those batshit crazy Lifetime movies that’s so unapologetically over-the-top that I couldn’t help but love it! Seriously, it was a lot of fun to watch Jane make spoiled Bridgette’s life difficult and Boti Bliss attacked the role of Jane with a ferocity that was truly admirable! Meanwhile, the underrated actress Molly Hagan brought unexpected depth to her role and the end result was an unexpectedly entertaining Lifetime melodrama.

Adventures in Cleaning Out The DVR: Girl Missing (dir by Joel Soisson)

Posted on November 14, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, I recently turned on the TV, checked the guide to see if there was anything on worth recording, and discovered, to my horror, that I only had about 5 hours of recording space left on my DVR! Making matters ever worse was that the DVR was threatening to erase the two oldest recordings in order to make more space. Terrified at the thought of losing both Bend it Like Beckham and Jesus Christ Superstar, I realized that it was time to borrow a page from the Gary Loggins playbook and starting cleaning out my DVR!

I started things off by watching Girl Missing, a film which I recorded off of Lifetime on October 25th. (What was I doing on the 25th that required me to record the movie? I was at a Halloween party, dancing in my underwear and then getting soaked while running through the rain on the way back to the car. Or, at least, that’s what I think I was doing. My memory of that weekend is hazy, at best.)

ANYWAY — according to the IMDb, Girl Missing was originally entitled Forgotten but I imagine Lifetime changed the title to remind viewers of Gone Girl. The film opens with two hunters wandering across a frozen wilderness in the snow. I point this out because the film’s opening few minutes really are impressive and visually striking. The image of those two hunters wandering across that desolate landscape have an otherworldly feel to them. Eventually, the hunters come across something unexpected — a ten year-old girl has been abandoned in a ditch.

Flash forward ten years and that girl has grown up to be Jane (Francesca Eastwood). Jane has no memory of her life before she was found in that ditch. However, that starts to change when she’s contacted by Sylvia, a wealthy New York widow who claims to be her mother. Sylvia is played by Kiersten Warren, who once played Alex in Saved By The Bell: The College Years, a series that my friend Derek and I are currently reviewing over on PrimeTime Preppie.

After traveling to Sylvia’s mansion, Jane is at first excited to finally be reunited with her mother. However, it quickly becomes apparent that not everything is as it seems. Sylvia is nervous and evasive, especially when talking about her husband’s suicide. Her boyfriend, Carlo (the wonderful Federico Dordei), gives off a vibe of pure sleaze and Jane is not happy to discover that Carlo and Sylvia’s affair started while Sylvia was still married. Soon, Jane is having sepia-toned nightmares of past violence and she starts to see a mysterious little girl wandering through the gray hallways of the mansion…

As I watched Girl Missing, with its chilly visuals and twisted storyline, I thought to myself, “This movie must be Canadian.” (And, just so there’s no misunderstandings, I totally meant that as a compliment!) However, I then checked with the imdb and discovered that no, this was not a Canadian film. Instead, it was filmed in Minnesota, which might be close to Canada but is still definitely a part of the United States.

But no matter. Whether the film’s snow was Canadian snow or Minnesota snow, director Joel Soisson still made good visual use of the frozen and desolate landscape. He also made good use of Sylvia’s shadow-filled mansion and the entire film had an enjoyably gothic feel to it. In the end, Girl Missing felt like a fun little Young Adult mystery. It was the epitome of an enjoyable Lifetime film.

Film Review: Animals (dir by Collin Schiffli)

Posted on November 12, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Animals is a pretty depressing movie and I guess that’s appropriate since it’s a movie about two heroin addicts. The script was written by David Dastmalchian, who also plays the role of Jude. Reportedly, he based the script on his own experiences with drug addiction. As a result, Animals is one of those movies that is full of believable details. I’ve never used heroin and I don’t think I ever would. However, even if there was a chance that I would touch heroin, Animals would probably change my mind. It’s a seriously dark movie.

And don’t get me wrong — that’s a good thing. If you’re going to make a movie about two people slowly killing themselves as a result of their drug addiction, the movie probably should be a bit on the dark side. But, at the same time, that doesn’t necessarily make Animals a lot of fun to watch.

The film tells the story of Jude and his girlfriend, Bobbie (Kim Shaw). They both come from upper middle class backgrounds, they’re both obviously well-educated (it’s suggested that Jude may have gone to medical school), and — even in the throes of drug addiction — they’re both still attractive enough that they can still blend in with “mainstream” society. As we see, in a handful of flashbacks, they once owned a comfy apartment together. Now, they live in a car that they park outside of the Chicago Zoo. Jude and Bobbie spend most of their time trying to figure out how they’re going to make enough money to get their next fix.

And the best parts of the film are the parts that deal with Jude and Bobbie tricking unsuspecting people out of their money. As tedious as Jude and Bobbie’s addiction-centered existence may sometimes be, it’s hard not to admire their determination. Their schemes range from the simple to the complex. They go to weddings and steal the gifts. Pretending to be a high-priced online prostitute, Bobbie goes to men’s houses and, after grabbing their money, runs outside where Jude waits for her in a running car. (Needless to say, none of the men are willing to risk the public shame of calling the police and admitting to how they met Bobbie in the first place.) Probably their most impressive scheme involves tricking a mall security guard into splitting the reward money for finding a stolen laptop. Jude and Bobbie are so good at cheating people that you do end up regretting that they couldn’t put their obviously intelligence to less self-destructive uses.

Eventually, of course, one of the two has an overdose and gets taken to the hospital. For the first time, the two of them are separated and forced to realize just how destructive and co-dependent their relationship really is. Will they stay apart and get clean or will true love (and heroin addiction) conquer all?

There’s a really harrowing scene in which Jude and Bobbie are harassed by some undercover cops who turns out to be just as brutal as the drug dealers that they claim to be fighting. And both Shaw and Dastmalchian give good performances. Even John Heard gets to play a character who isn’t a scheming and corrupt government official. There’s a lot to admire about the film but, ultimately, it’s so dark and depressing that it’s difficult to recommend. Unlike a film like Trainspotting, there’s not much going on underneath the grimy surface. On the basis of their work here, I’ll watch anything else that Schiffli, Shaw, and Dastmalchian do but Animals is one of those films where one viewing is more than enough.

Review: Ash vs. Evil Dead Season 1 Episode 2 “Bait”

Posted on November 12, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, I finally got a chance to watch Bait, the second episode of Ash vs. Evil Dead, and you know what? It will probably never happen because this isn’t exactly a traditional awards-bait show and, if the somber and ultraserious Walking Dead can’t get any Emmy love, I doubt that Ash vs. Evil Dead will ever do any better. But, seriously, Mimi Rogers totally deserves an Emmy for her performance in Bait.

I’m not sure which category she would win for. I guess Best Actress in a Comedy Series, though I think it’s a bit too simplistic to say that Ash vs. Evil Dead is just a comedy. It’s true that Ash vs. Evil Dead is full of funny moments and Bruce Campbell can make me laugh just by narrowing his eyes but, at the same time, there’s some pretty dark stuff going on in this “comedy.” And the Deadites are genuinely scary! It’s not just the makeup and the voices. There’s also the fact that they come to us in the form of the people that we love and, more often than not, they reveal the inner demons of our loved ones.

I mean, think about it. What if you had to choose between becoming a zombie or becoming a Deadite? I think I’d rather be a zombie. After all, a zombie is just a walking body. You may recognize the body but you know that the soul and the mind are no longer there. If I became a zombie, you could shoot me in the head without worrying about hurting my feelings. In fact, I wouldn’t even know that I was a zombie. And, if someone I loved became a zombie, I’m pretty sure that I could put them down if I had to. Because, again, a zombie is just a body without a personality. I mean, zombies can’t even talk!

But Deadites — oh my God! No way would I want to become one of those. Deadites still have a personality. You can’t shut them up. Up until they start drooling and talking in that evil voice, Deadites can still act like human beings. That false hint of lingering humanity would make it impossible for me to kill a Deadite.

I guess that’s why we’re lucky to have Ash Williams around. Ash is infamous for not being particularly smart but, as the Evil Dead franchise continually reminds us, his stupidity is his greatest strength. Ash doesn’t get caught up in the specifics. He doesn’t worry about the why. Instead, he just does what he has to do. He’s a blue-collar hero, in his way.

As for the 2nd episode of Ash vs. Evil Dead, it featured Ash and Pablo saving Kelly from her Deadite mom, played by Mimi Rogers. It took Ash a while to convince Kelly that her mom was actually a Deadite. In fact, Kelly didn’t really believe it until her mom stabbed her father in the eye with a fork.

What made this episode especially memorable was that Kelly’s mom was almost as scary when she was normal as when she was a Deadite. The scene where Ash, Pablo, Kelly, and the parents had an awkward dinner together was full of cringe-worthy moments. It was obvious that there were problems in the family even before mom killed dad. Becoming a Deadite allowed Kelly’s mom the chance to express her true feelings towards everyone.

Fortunately, Ash was there with his trusty chainsaw.

And, happily, he’ll be back on Saturday as well!

Which is good because Ash Williams may be our only hope…

James Bond Film Review: SPECTRE (dir by Sam Mendes)

Posted on November 12, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(SPOILERS)

Three years ago, Arleigh, Leonard, Chris Mead, and I reviewed every single James Bond films up to Skyfall. Leonard often refers to this as being our Avengers moment and it remains one of my fondest memories of my time here at the Shattered Lens. It really doesn’t matter who is playing the role or what the villain’s evil plan may be, or whether the individual film was made in the 60s or just last year, the Bond films are a lot of fun. Some of them are better than others. Sometimes, you get lucky and you get something like For Your Eyes Only and sometimes you have to settle for Die Another Day. Ultimately, every Bond film is an event and, in many ways, they are critic proof. As long we hear the iconic music, as long as Bond gets a few good quips, as long as the villain chuckles while explaining his evil plan, as long as there’s an exciting chase and a big explosion, and as long as there’s a lot of gorgeous clothes to look at and at least one tastefully lit sex scene, most viewers will be happy.

If it’s not broken…

Most viewers will probably be happy with SPECTRE, the latest Bond film. I saw the film yesterday and, even if it won’t ever make my list of top ten Bond films, I enjoyed it. Daniel Craig is back as Bond, Christoph Waltz fulfills his destiny by becoming the 9th actor to play the iconic villain Blofeld, Dave Bautista is a properly intimidating henchman, and Lea Seydoux is the strongest Bond girl since Eva Green. One thing that I especially appreciated about the film is that, in the roles of M, Miss Moneypenny, and Q, Ralph Fiennes, Naomie Harris, and Ben Whishaw are actually given an opportunity to get involved in the film’s action and all three of them are a lot of fun to watch. The film has an absolutely brilliant opening, featuring Bond assassinating a man in Mexico City and destroying a city block in the process. There’s an exciting chase scene, there’s a few moments of genuine wit, and there’s even one of those patented Bond train journeys, where sex and violence are mixed with intoxicating results. And yes, the clothes are to die for…

To Die For

It’s good and undeniably enjoyable in so many ways and yet somehow, SPECTRE still left me feeling slightly disappointed. Some of that is because SPECTRE exists in the shadow of Skyfall. After Skyfall (which I feel should have been one of the films nominated for best picture of 2012), expectation were sky high for SPECTRE. Those expectations were so high that there was no way that SPECTRE could have hoped to meet them. (You could argue that Quantum of Solace faced the same problem when it had to follow Casino Royale.) SPECTRE is no Skyfall but, then again, few films are.

Speaking of high expectations, I think we were all expecting Christoph Waltz to be one of the best Bond villains. After all, Waltz is a legitimately great actor and he specializes in the type of cheerful arrogance that has epitomized some of Bond’s greatest antagonists. (One can easily imagine Waltz playing Auric Goldfinger.) Add to that, Waltz is playing Blofeld, the ultimate Bond bad guy. As it is, Waltz gives a good performance but SPECTRE‘s Blofeld just isn’t that interesting. He has a lot more in common with the generic baddie from Quantum of Solace than with Goldfinger or the fascinated Raoul Silva of Skyfall.

As well, it wasn’t just enough for Blofeld to be the leader of a secret organization bent on world domination. It wasn’t enough that Blofeld was secretly responsible for everything that happened in Casino Royale, Quantum, and Skyfall (which, as much as some critics have complained about this particular plot twist, is actually a clever reference to Blofeld’s shadowy presence in all of Sean Connery’s Bond films). For some reason, the film’s writers decided it would be a good idea to make him Bond’s jealous stepbrother. Blofeld’s past relationship to Bond feels incredibly superfluous. I like to think that I’m pretty good at suspending my disbelief (especially when it comes to a Bond film) but I have to admit that I found myself rolling my eyes while Blofeld talked about how jealous he was when Bond came to live with his family.

We all know it’s you, Christoph…

(As well, Blofeld’s jealousy was a bit too reminiscent of Raoul Silva’s jealousy of Bond. It worked in Skyfall because we weren’t expecting a Bond villain to have a vulnerable side and Javier Bardem’s perversely charismatic performance caught the viewers off guard. In SPECTRE, it just feels like something that should have been eliminated during a rewrite.)

Daniel Craig, of course, is the sixth actor to officially play the role of James Bond. It’s always interesting to see how each actor interprets the role. The most successful Bond films are always built around the actor’s individual interpretation. For instance, it would be difficult to imagine Roger Moore in any of Sean Connery’s Bond films and, at the same time, it would be hard to imagine Sean Connery in The Spy Who Loved Me. Sean Connery was the Ruthless Bond. George Lazenby was the Insecure Bond. Roger Moore was the Bemused Bond. Timothy Dalton was the Boring Bond. Pierce Brosnan was the Suave Bond. Depending on which one of his films you see, Daniel Craig is either the Professional Bond or the Whiny Bond. SPECTRE continues the pattern that we’ve seen in the previous Craig films of presenting a James Bond who is struggling to balance his humanity with his job. When it works, like in Skyfall, it’s riveting. When it doesn’t work, like in Quantum of Solace, it runs the risk of getting rather tedious. SPECTRE finds Craig in between those two extremes. It’s an uneven performance. Craig and Seydoux have great chemistry and the scenes where Craig interacts with Fiennes, Harris, and Whishaw are fun to watch. But there are other scenes where Daniel Craig just comes across like he’s bored with the whole thing. Craig’s Bond has spent four films trying to figure out how he feels about his job. If Craig returns for a fifth film (and, as of right now, that seems to be a big if), he will hopefully have finally gotten over it.

(That said, SPECTRE was definitely written for Craig’s bond. At the end of the film — SPOILER, obviously — Bond has the choice between executing a man in cold blood or allowing the authorities to arrest him. Craig allows the man to be arrested. Connery would have put a bullet in his head and then smirked about it.)

He totally would…

And if it seems that I’m being critical of SPECTRE — well, I am. It’s one of the more uneven films in the Bond franchise, one that especially suffers when compared to some of the other spy films (Kingsman, MI: Rogue Nation) released this year. But, at the same time, SPECTRE does deliver the basics of what we expect from a Bond film. It’s entertaining and it has its fun moments. It’s no Skyfall but at least it’s better than Quantum of Solace.

Incidentally, I want to be Lea Seydoux when I grow up…

Other Bond Reviews on TSL:

4 Shots From 4 Grace Kelly Films: Fourteen Hours, Rear Window, To Catch A Thief, High Society

Posted on November 11, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.

Tomorrow would have been Grace Kelly’s 86th birthday! This edition of 4 Shots From 4 Films is dedicated to her.

4 Shots From 4 Films

Fourteen Hours (1951, directed by Henry Hathaway)

Rear Window (1954, directed by Alfred Hitchcock)

To Catch A Thief (1955, directed by Alfred Hitchcock)

High Society (1956, directed by Charles Walters)

Lisa’s Editorial Corner: On Gunnar Hansen, Jack the Ripper, Stephen King, and the SBS

Posted on November 10, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What’s All This Then?

Hi there! Well, as of my birthday yesterday, I am now officially an adult. What does that mean for this site? Well, for the most part, it means that I’m going to be even more aggressive about giving my opinion. After all, I’m an adult now. Whatever I say matters, no matter how weird or random it may be! In fact, I’m such an adult that I’m not even going to worry about proofreading these posts anymore. Adults don’t have to worry abut makin typos.

So, what is Lisa’s editorial corner? Well, it’s a new weekly feature where I talk about whatever caught my eye during the previous week. Basically, it’s a way for me to embrace my inner know-it-all. Fear not, I’m going to keep it entertainment-related. You don’t have to worry about me using this feature to try to convince you to vote for Gary Johnson in 2016. (At least not yet…)

For instance, I might use this feature to talk about Gunnar Hansen…

On Gunnar Hansen and Andrew Bryniarski

On November 7th, Gunnar Hansen passed away from pancreatic cancer. He was 68 years old. When I first heard the news, I was out with my friends in the SBS (and I’ll explain what that stands for at a more appropriate time) and we were celebrating my upcoming birthday. I spent the day after that with my family and then it was Monday and it actually was my birthday and … well, long story short: I’ve only now gotten a chance to write about his passing on this site. And I feel really guilty about that because Gunnar Hansen was an iconic figure in film history.

Who was Gunnar Hansen? Well, you probably already know. He was Leatherface in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Beyond that, he was also a teacher, a writer, an acclaimed poet, and reportedly one of the nicest guys that you could ever hope to meet. I never met Gunnar but every story that I’ve ever heard about him — whether it was from someone who met him at a convention or someone who knew him outside of the world of horror fandom — has been a positive one. As well, I’ve read many interviews with Hansen about the making of Texas Chainsaw and he always came across as being a very intelligent and well-spoken individual.

And it’s often overlooked just how good a performance that Hansen gives in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Hansen may have been cast because of his large frame and he may have had to perform underneath a mask but he still turned Leatherface into a genuine character. It’s often overlooked that, out of the entire cannibal family, Leatherface is the only one who has any real responsibilities. He’s just trying to prepare everyone’s dinner and he keeps getting interrupted! No wonder he eventually ends up sitting down and slumping in frustration.

Now, upon until a few hours ago, I had absolutely no idea who Andrew Bryniarski was. Do you know who he is? Here’s a picture of him, with Gunnar Hansen:

Gunnar is on the right.

Why are Andrew and Gunnar posing together? Because Andrew played Leatherface in 2003 remake of Texas Chainsaw and in 2006’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning.

And here is what Andrew said on Facebook after several people tagged him in posts about Gunnar’s death:

Seriously, Mr. Bryniarski? Now, before you think that he “misspoke” or any of that, he went on to double down on his comments. When someone pointed out that, if not for Gunnar, Bryniarski would have never played Leatherface, Bryniarski wrote back, “I played the role twice without him.” Bryniraski then told another FB user to “suck Gunnar’s dead nutz.”

Seriously — what the Hell!?

For what it’s worth, Bryniarski has an official response to everyone who is upset with him. You can check it out here. As far as I can tell, it appears that he feels that, while promoting Texas Chainsaw 3D, Gunnar criticized the way that he played Leatherface.

There’s probably more to it than that but … well, it really doesn’t matter. If you’re going to speak ill of the dead, you better have a hell of a better reason that professional jealousy. End of story. Bryniarski’s comments and the outrage that greeted them only serve to remind us that Gunnar Hansen was a class act.

Gunnar Hansen, R.I.P.

On Jack The Ripper

Over 4 years ago, when I reviewed Murder By Decree, I wrote about my fascination with the unsolved case of Jack the Ripper. Well, after all this time, I’m still fascinated. So, needless to say, when I read that an Australian professor named Richard Patterson was convinced that he had figured out the identity of Jack the Ripper, I was intrigued.

Then I found out that Patterson thought that poet Francis Thompson was the murderer and I promptly yawned.

Poor Francis Thompson.

Seriously, most evidence (as opposed to the speculation of people who have seen From Hell) indicates that Saucy Jack was probably some psycho who lived on the margins of society. He got away with his murders because he committed them in 1888, a time when just taking fingerprints was considered to be advanced forensic science. He was never caught, he died in obscurity, and no one knows his name.

However, that’s no fun! Why spend so much time researching Jack the Ripper if the final solution is just going to be some creep that nobody’s ever heard of!? That’s why it seems the almost every Victorian of any sort of renown has, at some point, been accused of being the Ripper. Oscar Wilde, Lewis Carroll, Francis Thompson, and the painter Walter Sickert — all of them have been accused and, amazingly, all of them have had their creative work cited as evidence of their guilt.

You have to wonder if, 100 years from now, amateur criminologists will insist that Stephen King was responsible for every unsolved murder in New England…

Speaking of Walter Sickert…

Here’s one of the infamous painting that’s always cited by people who are convinced that he was Jack The Ripper:

By the way, this is my new Facebook cover photo:

That’s Natalie Wood rehearsing for West Side Story!

Why not listen to a little music before you leave?

Hey — did you know that I have a daily music blog? Check it out: Lisa Marie’s Song of the Day! This is the song that I shared on my birthday because a lot of people have told me that it might as well be about me:

You know what you should do now?

Since it’s the day after my birthday and all, why not go read the first review that I ever wrote for this site? Check out my thoughts on a strange little film called Welcome Home, Brother Charles.

Wait a minute! What does SBS stand for?

Sexy Bitch Squad, of course! (SBS FOREVER!)

Have a great week!

Lisa’s Oscar Predictions for November!

Posted on November 10, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Have you heard the news? Apparently, Steve Jobs is shaping up to the be one of the biggest box office bombs of all time! Over this past weekend, it went from playing in 2,000 theaters to playing in 424.

Myself, I have to wonder why anyone thought Steve Jobs was going to be a huge financial success in the first place. Isn’t this the third Steve Jobs biopic to be released in as many years? None of them have made in money. It may be time for people of a certain age and certain economic class to admit that not everyone is as fascinated by Steve Jobs as they are. I haven’t seen Steve Jobs yet so I better get out to a theater this week or else I’ll have to see it in a dollar theater and I always seem to have a bad experience at those places. In the mean time, be sure to check out Leonard’s review!

Anyway, with Steve Jobs crashing and burning, I’m dropping it from my list of Oscar predictions. Sorry, Steve Jobs. Sorry, Danny Boyle and Kate Winslet. Don’t worry, Michael Fassbender — you’re still on my list.

Anyway, here are my Oscar predictions for November. Be sure to also check out my predictions for January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, and October!

Best Picture

Bridge of Spies

Brooklyn

Carol

The Danish Girl

Joy

Room

Best Director

Lenny Abrahamson for Room

Todd Haynes for Carol

Alejandro G. Inarritu for The Revenant

Thomas McCarthy for Spotlight

Ridley Scott for The Martian

Best Actor

Matt Damon in The Martin

Johnny Depp in Black Mass

Leonardo DiCaprio in The Revenant

Michael Fassbender in Steve Jobs

Eddie Redmayne in The Danish Girl

Best Actress

Cate Blanchett in Carol

Brie Larson in Room

Jennifer Lawrence in Joy

Carey Mulligan in Suffragette

Saiorse Ronan in Brooklyn

Best Supporting Actor

Paul Dano in Love & Mercy

Robert De Niro in Joy

Benicio Del Toro in Sicario

Idris Elba in Beasts of No Nation

Mark Rylance in Bridge of Spies

Best Supporting Actress

Joan Allen in Room

Elizabeth Banks in Love & Mercy

Jane Fonda in Youth

Rooney Mara in Carol

Alicia Vikander in The Danish Girl

4 Shots From 4 Films: Silk Stockings, Save The Last Dance, The Company, StreetDance 3D

Posted on November 9, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh my God, it’s my birthday! True, this is the day of the year when I get presents and hear from a lot of wonderful people. That’s the wonderful part of the day! The only downside is that this is also the day of the year when I’m reminded that I’m an adult. But fear not, I know how to chase off any birthday angst. These 4 shots come from 4 films that always cheer me up.

(And, if you know me, you won’ be surprised by what they all have in common!)

4 Shots From 4 Films