Guilty Pleasure No. 32: It’s So Cold In The D by T-Baby (a.k.a. My Excuse For Not Getting More Accomplished Today)


I’m supposed to be writing right now but I can’t get this damn song out of my head…

Oh well — I’m going to try to get something of value written and posted tonight, even if I do have an 8 year-old meme stuck in my head…

WISH ME LUCK!

Previous Guilty Pleasures

  1. Half-Baked
  2. Save The Last Dance
  3. Every Rose Has Its Thorns
  4. The Jeremy Kyle Show
  5. Invasion USA
  6. The Golden Child
  7. Final Destination 2
  8. Paparazzi
  9. The Principal
  10. The Substitute
  11. Terror In The Family
  12. Pandorum
  13. Lambada
  14. Fear
  15. Cocktail
  16. Keep Off The Grass
  17. Girls, Girls, Girls
  18. Class
  19. Tart
  20. King Kong vs. Godzilla
  21. Hawk the Slayer
  22. Battle Beyond the Stars
  23. Meridian
  24. Walk of Shame
  25. From Justin To Kelly
  26. Project Greenlight
  27. Sex Decoy: Love Stings
  28. Swimfan
  29. On the Line
  30. Wolfen
  31. Hail Caesar!

An Exorcist TV pilot? What Sweet Hell is This?


fanart_twisted_exorcism_tshirt

I don’t wear hats but if I did, I would give a tip of the hat to my friends over at Horrorpedia for the news that apparently, a pilot has been put into production for an Exorcist TV show.

And then I would sigh.  Actually, that’s what I’m doing right now.

Seriously, an Exorcist TV show?  Which dumbfug toadsucker thought this was a good idea?  What damnable dumbfuckery is this?

Oh!  And hey, the pilot is being written by the same guy who wrote the Fantastic Four movie!  It gets even better!

For what it’s worth, here’s the plot description:

Two very different men — Father Tomas Ortega (Alfonso Herrera) and Father Marcus Lang (Ben Daniels) — tackle one family’s case of horrifying demonic possession and confronting the face of true evil…

To be honest, I could probably get enthusiastic if the show was a prequel about the early life of Father Merrin.  But this sounds more like a remake of Deliver Us From Evil and that movie was pretty bad!  I mean, not even Joel McHale could save that movie…

And seriously — what type of priest is named Marcus Lang?

Here’s hoping that Pazuzu puts a stop to this before the legacy of a true horror classic is tarnished any further.

A Few Final Thoughts On The 88th Academy Awards…


Oscars

Well, another Oscar season has come to an end.  I’m going to take one day off from thinking about the Oscars and then, once March begins, it’ll be time to start speculating about what will win next year.

Like the majority of our readers, I just finished watching the 88th Academy Awards.  It was an interesting ceremony.  It was strange.  It was full of moments that made me cringe.  And, at the same time, there were a few moments that left me feeling very inspired.  Clocking in at 3 hours and 30-something minutes, it was neither the worst nor the best Oscar telecast that I’ve ever watched.  (My favorite remains the ceremony that was hosted by James Franco and Anne Hathaway.  It was such a fun disaster.)  On twitter, people seem to think that it was either the greatest or the worst thing ever.  I am one of the few to think that it actually fell somewhere in the middle.

Let’s talk about the awards.  Going into this, I was hoping there would be a few upsets and there were.  Unfortunately, few of them were upsets that I was particularly looking forward to.  For instance, Mark Rylance won best supporting actor for Bridge of Spies and, no offense meant to Rylance, but it was hard not to wish that the award had instead gone to Creed‘s Sylvester Stallone.  Stallone, no matter what you may think of the majority of his films, is a cinematic icon and this was probably his last chance to win an Oscar.  Rylance, meanwhile, seems to be destined to being the actor you call when you can’t get Richard Jenkins.

And then there was Best Original Song.  I, for one, am still stunned that the song from SPECTRE was even nominated.  But then it actually won the Oscar!  And, in doing so, it defeated Lady Gaga’s anthem of survival and strength, Til It Happens To You.  Lady Gaga’s performance of Til It Happens To You was definitely one of the show’s highlights.  Not even the presence of our long-winded, gropey Vice President could diminish the strength and power of that performance.  Just imagine what a great moment it would have been if that performance had been followed by Til It Happens To You actually winning the Oscar.

I got really excited when, early on, Mad Max: Fury Road started to win all of the technical awards.  Oh my God, I thought, what if Mad Max actually wins Best Picture!?  That would be a game changer as far as the future of the Oscars is concerned…

But then Alejandro Inarritu won best director and gave his typical sermon.  And then Leonardo DiCaprio won best actor and used it as an excuse to lecture us all about global warming.  And I started to dread the idea of The Revenant winning best picture and having to sit through another speech from either of these two undeniably talented gentlemen.  But then, after being shut out for most of the night, Spotlight won best picture.  The producers ran up on stage and started to lecture the Vatican…

It’s a strange victory.  Spotlight won a total of two Oscars.  Mad Max won six Oscars.  The Revenant won three.  The Big Short and Room took one.  Though the vote totals are never released, I’m going to guess it was a very close race.

I have to admit that I always cringe a little whenever the Oscars get political because celebrities, on the whole, tend to be flaky.  And, often times, they lecture everyone else without bothering to look at or modify any of their own behavior.  Frequently, it leads to a hypocrisy on their part that, over the years, has tarnished some very worthy causes.  It’s not surprising that the 88th Academy Awards were extremely political.  A lot of people said a lot of things but did they actually understand what they were saying or were they just playing another role?  That’s the question I always ask whenever a celeb says to vote this way or that.

I have to admit that I got kind of bored with Chris Rock trying to get people to buy girl scout cookies.  But, let’s give credit where credit is due.  Chris Rock called the film industry out on its own bullshit as far as diversity is concerned.  He told the self-congratulatory Academy audience that they too were capable of being racists and, even watching on TV, you could feel the tension in the room.  This was the epitome of speaking truth to power and good for Chris Rock for going there and, hopefully, making everyone in that audience feel a little bit uncomfortable.

And yet, at the same time, it was hard not to feel that it won’t make much of a difference.  The assembled members of the Academy applauded whenever a presenter or a winner called for diversity but, in the end, are they going to do anything more than applaud?  Watching the show, I imagine that most of the rich white people in the theater were thinking to themselves, “Chris isn’t talking about us.  He’s talking about those other rich white people.”

What’s the solution to the industry’s diversity problem?  Well, the first thing that would have to happen would be for the industry to admit that it has a problem and that’s never going to happen.  The mainstream American film industry is too high on its own rhetoric to ever take an honest look at itself.  Instead, studio execs and producers are always going to put the blame on “those other white people.”

There are so many stories out there waiting to be told.   At some point, the industry is going to have to stop bragging about how they tolerant they are and instead help those unique and interesting stories to be told.  Out there right now, there are people of every race, gender, religion, and political ideology who have a story to tell.  At some point, if the film industry really wants to change, it’s going to have to start seeking out those stories and giving those storytellers a chance.   At some point, those in industry are going to have to stop bragging about how much they donated to which campaign and actually put their rhetoric into action.

Until then, it’s going to take a lot more than merely giving Chris Rock a standing ovation to truly bring diversity to the film industry.

Did anyone else find it weird that the show ended with “Fight the Power” being played over pictures of wealthy white people accepting awards?  I don’t think the show’s producers really considered what that would look like.

Anyway, that concludes this Oscar season!  It was an exciting one and I can hardly wait for a new one to begin!

Lisa’s Editorial Corner: Thank You


bloodfreak8

Hi, everyone!  It’s Thanksgiving!  Well, actually, it’s the final hours of Thanksgiving.  In fact, it’s 10:03 as I start this and it’s totally possible that I won’t be ready to post it until midnight so, by the time you read this, Thanksgiving will probably be over and you’ll be in a Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/None of the Above type of mood.  Well, no matter…

So, every year, I make out a list of what I’m thankful for and I post it on this site.  Today, as I relaxed at my uncle’s house and I listened to all my cousins talking about football, I realized that I wasn’t really quite sure what I was specifically going to mention.

Don’t get me wrong.  There’s a lot that I am thankful for.  I’m thankful to be alive.  I’m thankful that I have people in my life who love me and I’m thankful that there are people who I love.  I’m thankful that my sprained foot is much, much better.  I’m thankful that it rained today so I would have an excuse not to lay out in the sun and pretend like I’m actually capable of getting a tan.  Seriously, I’m a redhead.  We don’t tan, we just burn.

And, because this is an entertainment-related site, this would be a good time to mention that I’m thankful that 2015 has been a pretty good year for film.  Mad Max, Ex Machina, Sicario, 88, Inside Out…I’m not even beginning to scratch the surface of how many good films have been released this year.  As for the bad films — well, The Fantastic Four, Ted 2, and Vacation were all terrible but you know what?  None of them did a bit of good at the box office so at least the movie going public is not adding insult to injury.

It’s been a good year and, as a lover of the Oscars, I’m especially excited by the fact that there is no clear front runner.  Oscar season is going to be exciting!  Sure, it would appear that The Martian and Spotlight appear to be early favorites but neither has dominated.  Seriously, this is going to be fun.

So, there’s a lot that I am thankful for but you know what I’m really thankful for?  I’m thankful that I have thoughts to share and I am even more thankful that are people out there who are actually interested in learning them.  There is nothing more wonderful than the freedom to say whatever the Hell you want.  That, along with so many other things, is what I’m thankful for in 2015.

So, instead of coming up with a big list and trying to show off how witty I am, I’m just going to use this holiday to say “Thank you.”  Thank you to all of the writers and reviewers at the Shattered Lens.  Thank you to Arleigh Sandoc for asking me, 5 years ago, if I would be interested in contributing to an entertainment blog that he had just started.  Thank you to all of the writers who were here before me and thank you to everyone who joined after me.  Thank you for keeping this site alive.  Thank you for keeping this site interesting.  Thank you for keeping things lively.  Thank you to all of you.  Thank you for everything.

Even more importantly, thank you to all of our readers.  They you to everyone who subscribes to this site.  Thank you to everyone who has ever left a comment.  Thank you to everyone who has ever clicked the like button.  Whether you’re a regular reader or if you just found us through a google search, thank you!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Whether today was Thanksgiving or just another Thursday, I hope it was a wonderful one for you!

All my love — Lisa.

P.S. Wow, it’s 10:26 and I’m already ready to post.  Happy Thanksgiving!

P.P.S. By the way, since it’s Thanksgiving, here’s the NSFW trailer for Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving.  Hurry up and get this movie done, Eli!

P.P.P.S. Finally, since it is Thanksgiving, why not read my review of the classic killer turkey film, Blood Freak?

PDVD_051

Lisa’s Editorial Corner: On Tornadoes, Rango, social media, and Charlie Sheen


Well, it had to happen but did it have to happen so soon?

So, here we are.  Just two weeks into doing Lisa’s Editorial corner and already, I’m worrying that I may have nothing to talk about.  Of course, some of that is because I’m a little bit preoccupied.  Somehow — don’t ask how unless you really want the details — I managed to sprain my foot on Saturday morning.  I stayed on the couch for the weekend but then, foolishly, I attempted to both work and dance on Monday.  So, right now, I am home, my foot hurts, and I’m having a hard time focusing on anything else.

(At the same time, I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve sprained my foot and/or my ankle.  It sucks right now but I’ll be okay soon.  I’m taking off work on Tuesday, which means that I’ll get to make even more progress in cleaning out the DVR!)

Plus, as I write this at 1:30 in the morning, we are currently under tornado watch!  If a tornado does decide to show up, I am not looking to forward to having to hop my way into the downstairs coat closet.  They say that, if you don’t have a storm bunker like the one Michael Shannon installed in Take Shelter, the downstairs closet is the safest place to get in case of a tornado.  I have never understood why.

This is why I sometime hate social media.

charlie-sheen-5240

Since Monday is always my crazy day, I was not on twitter when the whole “Charlie Sheen Has HIV” story broke.  In fact, I didn’t know a thing about it until someone mentioned it in passing that night and, at that time, I was so busy trying not faint from the pain of my sprained foot that it really didn’t register with me.

So really, it wasn’t until I got home, took a handful of Vicodin, and logged onto twitter that I was really aware of what’s been going on with Sheen.  Apparently, this Tuesday (i.e., today), Sheen is going to be on the Today Show and is going to reveal whether or not he has HIV.  There’s something really ghoulish about how much some people are anticipating Charlie Sheen announcing that he is HIV positive.

It’s also sad that, judging from many of the comments on twitter, a lot of people don’t understand that being HIV positive does not mean that Charlie Sheen has AIDS.  Check out a few of the comments:

Keep in mind that I’m writing this at 1:33 in the morning and Charlie Sheen has yet to officially announce anything.  By the time this post is published and you read it, Sheen will probably have announced whatever it is that he’s going to announce but, for now, nobody knows anything.  There’s just speculation.  For all we know, Sheen is going to announce that he’s HIV negative or that he wants to be Donald Trump’s running mate.

In fact, the only thing we know for sure is that a lot of people seem to be positively gleeful about the possibility of Charlie Sheen having HIV.  I’ve never been a fan of Charlie Sheen’s and I found his whole “winning” thing to be more pathetic than anything else.  But it has always disturbed me that his extremely self-destructive behavior has always been treated as a source of entertainment.  What’s particularly offensive is that many of the same people who loved to watch crazy old Charlie talk about “tiger blood,” are now gloating about how Sheen’s “lifestyle” has caught up with him.  It was a lifestyle that was largely dependent upon and made possible by American’s own twisted love/hate relationship with celebrity.

The blogger known as Jedadiah Leland and I have often debated whether or not social media is worth all the trouble.  Usually, I think I can make a pretty good case that twitter does enough good that it makes all the other bullshit worth it.  But, when I see thousands of strangers competing to come up with the best joke about someone being HIV-positive, I start to think that he may have a point.

And since I’ve just been critical of twitter, I’ll wrap this up with a tweet from my sister:

The best laid plans of Lisa…

Before I got caught up writing about Charlie Sheen, I was going to devote a bit of a space to talking about how much I hate it when people show up late for a movie.  I mean, seriously — we all know that, if a movie is listed as starting at 7:00, the movie isn’t really going to start until 7:20.  That’s a 20 minute grace period right there and there’s really no excuse for arriving at the theater after that grace period has ended.  If you’re going to be more than 20 minutes late, either go to a different showing or go back home.  But for God’s sake, don’t wander into the theater and go, “Oh, the movie’s started,” and then stumble around looking for a seat in the dark.

To be honest, I’d rather be stuck in a theater with a screaming baby than have to deal with people showing up 30 minutes late for the movie.

As long as we’re here, check this out!

The evil clown who pops up to sing ‘Get Yourself High‘ in the Chemical Brothers’ live show has his own Facebook page.  I am so happy right now!  Unfortunately, there’s not much information on the page about the clown but I liked it anyway.  You never know when the clown might decide to open up about his hopes and dreams.

Clown

FLASHBACK TIME!

You know what you should find time to do today?  You should take a trip into the past and read the very first review that Leonard Wilson ever wrote for this site.  I present to you … Leonard’s 2o11 review of Rango!

One Final Thought…

At any given time, I usually have about a week’s worth of blog posts scheduled to publish on the various sites that I write for.  So, if I died tomorrow, my writing would actually outlive me.  Think about it — I could be dead and still giving you my opinion.  And if I am dead and I tell you to see a movie, you better see it!

Ghost Critic

Have a great week!

Lisa’s Editorial Corner: On Gunnar Hansen, Jack the Ripper, Stephen King, and the SBS


What’s All This Then?

Hi there!  Well, as of my birthday yesterday, I am now officially an adult.  What does that mean for this site?  Well, for the most part, it means that I’m going to be even more aggressive about giving my opinion.  After all, I’m an adult now.  Whatever I say matters, no matter how weird or random it may be!  In fact, I’m such an adult that I’m not even going to worry about proofreading these posts anymore.  Adults don’t have to worry abut makin typos.

So, what is Lisa’s editorial corner?  Well, it’s a new weekly feature where I talk about whatever caught my eye during the previous week.  Basically, it’s a way for me to embrace my inner know-it-all.  Fear not, I’m going to keep it entertainment-related.  You don’t have to worry about me using this feature to try to convince you to vote for Gary Johnson in 2016.  (At least not yet…)

For instance, I might use this feature to talk about Gunnar Hansen…

On Gunnar Hansen and Andrew Bryniarski

On November 7th, Gunnar Hansen passed away from pancreatic cancer.  He was 68 years old.  When I first heard the news, I was out with my friends in the SBS (and I’ll explain what that stands for at a more appropriate time) and we were celebrating my upcoming birthday.  I spent the day after that with my family and then it was Monday and it actually was my birthday and … well, long story short: I’ve only now gotten a chance to write about his passing on this site.  And I feel really guilty about that because Gunnar Hansen was an iconic figure in film history.

Who was Gunnar Hansen?  Well, you probably already know.  He was Leatherface in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  Beyond that, he was also a teacher, a writer, an acclaimed poet, and reportedly one of the nicest guys that you could ever hope to meet.  I never met Gunnar but every story that I’ve ever heard about him — whether it was from someone who met him at a convention or someone who knew him outside of the world of horror fandom — has been a positive one.  As well, I’ve read many interviews with Hansen about the making of Texas Chainsaw and he always came across as being a very intelligent and well-spoken individual.

And it’s often overlooked just how good a performance that Hansen gives in Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  Hansen may have been cast because of his large frame and he may have had to perform underneath a mask but he still turned Leatherface into a genuine character.  It’s often overlooked that, out of the entire cannibal family, Leatherface is the only one who has any real responsibilities.  He’s just trying to prepare everyone’s dinner and he keeps getting interrupted!  No wonder he eventually ends up sitting down and slumping in frustration.

Now, upon until a few hours ago, I had absolutely no idea who Andrew Bryniarski was.  Do you know who he is?  Here’s a picture of him, with Gunnar Hansen:

Andrew and Gunnar

Gunnar is on the right.

Why are Andrew and Gunnar posing together?  Because Andrew played Leatherface in 2003 remake of Texas Chainsaw and in 2006’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning.

And here is what Andrew said on Facebook after several people tagged him in posts about Gunnar’s death:

Andrew's Response

Seriously, Mr. Bryniarski?  Now, before you think that he “misspoke” or any of that, he went on to double down on his comments.  When someone pointed out that, if not for Gunnar, Bryniarski would have never played Leatherface, Bryniarski wrote back, “I played the role twice without him.”  Bryniraski then told another FB user to “suck Gunnar’s dead nutz.”

Seriously — what the Hell!?

For what it’s worth, Bryniarski has an official response to everyone who is upset with him.  You can check it out here.  As far as I can tell, it appears that he feels that, while promoting Texas Chainsaw 3D, Gunnar criticized the way that he played Leatherface.

There’s probably more to it than that but … well, it really doesn’t matter.  If you’re going to speak ill of the dead, you better have a hell of a better reason that professional jealousy. End of story.  Bryniarski’s comments and the outrage that greeted them only serve to remind us that Gunnar Hansen was a class act.

Gunnar Hansen, R.I.P.

On Jack The Ripper

Over 4 years ago, when I reviewed Murder By Decree, I wrote about my fascination with the unsolved case of Jack the Ripper.  Well, after all this time, I’m still fascinated.  So, needless to say, when I read that an Australian professor named Richard Patterson was convinced that he had figured out the identity of Jack the Ripper, I was intrigued.

Then I found out that Patterson thought that poet Francis Thompson was the murderer and I promptly yawned.

Poor Francis Thompson.

Poor Francis Thompson.

Seriously, most evidence (as opposed to the speculation of people who have seen From Hell) indicates that Saucy Jack was probably some psycho who lived on the margins of society.  He got away with his murders because he committed them in 1888, a time when just taking fingerprints was considered to be advanced forensic science.  He was never caught, he died in obscurity, and no one knows his name.

However, that’s no fun!  Why spend so much time researching Jack the Ripper if the final solution is just going to be some creep that nobody’s ever heard of!?  That’s why it seems the almost every Victorian of any sort of renown has, at some point, been accused of being the Ripper.  Oscar Wilde, Lewis Carroll, Francis Thompson, and the painter Walter Sickert — all of them have been accused and, amazingly, all of them have had their creative work cited as evidence of their guilt.

You have to wonder if, 100 years from now, amateur criminologists will insist that Stephen King was responsible for every unsolved murder in New England…

Speaking of Walter Sickert…

Here’s one of the infamous painting that’s always cited by people who are convinced that he was Jack The Ripper:

372sickert

By the way, this is my new Facebook cover photo:

That’s Natalie Wood rehearsing for West Side Story!

NW

Why not listen to a little music before you leave?

Hey — did you know that I have a daily music blog?  Check it out: Lisa Marie’s Song of the Day!  This is the song that I shared on my birthday because a lot of people have told me that it might as well be about me:

You know what you should do now?

Since it’s the day after my birthday and all, why not go read the first review that I ever wrote for this site?  Check out my thoughts on a strange little film called Welcome Home, Brother Charles.

Brother Charles

Wait a minute!  What does SBS stand for?

Sexy Bitch Squad, of course!  (SBS FOREVER!)

Have a great week!