The TSL Horror Grindhouse: The Phantom of the Opera (dir by Dwight H. Little)


1989’s The Phantom of the Opera opens in what was then-modern day Manhattan.

Christine Day (Jill Schoelen) is a young opera singer who is searching for the perfect audition piece.  Her friend, Meg (Molly Shannon), suggests that she use an obscure opera piece called Don Juan Triumphant.  The opera was written by Erik Destler, a mysterious composer who was accused of murdering several opera singers in the 1800s.  That morbid fact only makes Christine all the more convinced that she should use the piece in her audition and you know what?  I would probably feel the same way.  If nothing else, it would certainly appeal to my subversive side.

Even after Christine imagines seeing blood seeping off the pages of the opera, she remains committed to auditioning with it.  Unfortunately, at the audition, a sandbag falls on her head.  She’s knocked unconscious and, when she wakes up, she finds herself in 1885 London.  She’s an understudy for a diva named La Carlotta (Sharon Lawrence).  Carlotta has skill and technique but her singing lacks emotion.  She hits each note perfectly but she brings no deeper meaning to her performances.  Christine may lack Carlotta’s polish but she sings with emotion.  For that reason, Carlotta is jealous of Christine.  Meanwhile, Erik Destler (Robert Englund), who lives in the sewers of London’s opera house and who wears a mask over his disfigured face, feels that Christine is the only one who can do his work justice and he’s willing to go to any length to make sure that she’s the one who performs on stage.

At the time he made The Phantom of the Opera, Robert Englund was still regularly playing Freddy Krueger.  The film’s version of Erik Destler does owe a bit to Krueger.  Erik is as ruthless as Freddy, he’s good with a quip, he’s just as willing to kill, and, needless to say, he also has a face that will haunt your nightmares.  That said, Erik is also a creative artist, which is something that Freddy never was.  If Freddy was motivated by revenge, Erik is motivated by a desire to see his work come to life the way that he’s always imagined it.  Erik murders to help Christine (regardless of whether or not Chrsitine actually wants the help) whereas Freddy killed because he enjoyed it.  Englund gives a good performance as Erik, occasionally playing the role with the type of broadness that is to expected from a B-horror film but also still offering hints of the artist that Erik once was.  Englund is well-matched with Jill Schoelen, who brings a likable energy to Christine.

Produced by Menahem Golan and Harry Alan Towers, The Phantom of the Opera is an entertaining B-movie, one that is obviously not meant to be taken too seriously.  Director Dwight H. Little keeps the action moving at a steady pace, the sets and the costumes are to die for, the kills are unapologetically bloody, and the film even manages to put an interesting twist on the whole “it was all dream!” thing.  The Phantom of the Opera is an enjoyably macabre showcase for two of the best horror performers of the 80s and 90s, Jill Schoelen and Robert Englund.

 

Horror On TV: Hammer House Of Horror #9: Carpathian Eagle (dir by Francis Megahy)


Tonight’s episode of Hammer House of Horror is Carpathian Eagle.

Men are being murdered in bed by a woman who removes their heart.  Inspector Clifford (Anthony Valentine) investigates with the help of a true crime historian named Natalie (Suzanne Danielle).  Natalie tells the story of an ancient Carpathian countess who murdered men in the same way and suggests that the murders might be the work of a modern-day descendant.  The truth turns out to be a bit more complicated, if also a bit predictable.

This is not my favorite episode Hammer House of Horror but still, it’s worth watching to catch a young Pierce Brosnan in an early small role.  This episode originally aired on November 8th, 1980.

Guilty Pleasure No. 21: Hawk the Slayer (dir. by Terry Marcel)


HawktheSlayer

Tonight was the season finale of Game of Thrones season 4. It was another great piece of storytelling that managed to juggle several subplots and giving each one their own time to shine.

The latest “Guilty Pleasure” is the 1980 epically mind-numbing fantasy film Hawk the Slayer starring the great Jack Palance in the the villainous role of Voltan the evil elder brother to the film’s title character, Hawk the Slayer. This film is in the other side of the quality spectrum of tonight’s Game of Thrones season finale.

Hawk the Slayer was part of the 80’s flood of sword and sorcery films that included such titles as Conan the Barbarian, Beastmaster and Ladyhawke. To say that this film was bad would be an understatement. Yet, I’m quite drawn to it whenever I see it on TV. In fact, it was on syndication that I first saw this when I was just a wee lad. I might have been around 9 or 10 when I came across it halfway through.

Maybe it was the fact that I was just discovering Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, but this film  spoke to me. It had that timeless story of brother against brother. The evil tyrant with legions of evil ne’er do wells against a small band of class-specific heroes and rogues. I mean this had it all. We had the hero of the film who I would probably place in the swordsman class. Then we had Ranulf with his repeating crossbow that would be the band’s rogue. Of course, there’s Gort the giant with his mighty hammer and Baldin the dwarf skilled in the art of the whip. But the one character that really shouted RPG for me throughout this film was Crow the Elf who could fire his bow as fast as any machine gun I’ve ever seen.

I think it’s very awfulness is why I keep returning to it whenever I see it on TV. The acting is atrocious with special effects that even in 1980 would be seen as laughable. The characters themselves were so one-note that one wonders if the person who wrote the screenplay was actually a trained monkey. Yet, the film was fun for all those reasons. It’s one of those titles that one would express as being so bad it’s good. Even now, with childhood several decades past, I still enjoy watching Hawk the Slayer and always wonder when they plan to get the sequel set-up and made.

Oh, the synth-heavy disco-fantasy-western soundtrack was also something to behold.

  1. Half-Baked
  2. Save The Last Dance
  3. Every Rose Has Its Thorns
  4. The Jeremy Kyle Show
  5. Invasion USA
  6. The Golden Child
  7. Final Destination 2
  8. Paparazzi
  9. The Principal
  10. The Substitute
  11. Terror In The Family
  12. Pandorum
  13. Lambada
  14. Fear
  15. Cocktail
  16. Keep Off The Grass
  17. Girls, Girls, Girls
  18. Class
  19. Tart
  20. King Kong vs. Godzilla