Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.11 “Miami Squeeze”

Posted on January 19, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, the British are coming!

Episode 5.11 “Miami Squeeze”

(Dir by Michelle Manning, originally aired on February 17th, 1989)

There’s a new drug lord in Miami. He’s a British dandy named Sebastian Ross (Robert Joy) and it’s impossible to take him seriously as a legitimate threat. The show continually tells us how dangerous Sebastian is. When the son (Daniel Villarreal) of anti-drug Congresswoman Madeleine Woods (Rita Moreno) attempts to double-cross Sebastian, Sebastian blackmails the Congresswoman and also tries to make Castillo look like a dirty cop. Castillo ends up getting shot, all as a result of Sebastian’s schemes.

And yet, despite all of that, it’s impossible to take Sebastian seriously. He’s just a ridiculous character, a drug dealer who dresses like an Edwardian gentleman and who carries a can and who speaks with a remarkably bad British accent. (Robert Joy is himself Canadian. I should mention that Joy is also a very good character actor. He’s just miscast here.) As a character, Sebastian threw off the entire episode. When you include Rita Moreno acting up a storm, this episode almost felt like a self-parody.

Joey Hardin (Justin Lazard), the undercover cop from Line of Fire, returned in this episode. Sonny recruited him to go undercover in order to infiltrate Sebastian’s organization. Considering that Joey was a returning character and that there was a lengthy scene of Sonny asking if Joey felt confident enough to put his life on the line, it was kind of surprising that Joey didn’t really do much in this episode. One got the feeling that perhaps this was meant to be a backdoor pilot for a show featuring Joey as an undercover cop who could pass for a teenager. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course. Who wouldn’t want to keep a franchise going? But Joey ultimately felt like a red herring and a bit of a distraction.

This episode was a misfire.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.9 “A Family Affair”

Posted on January 14, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, the playoffs continue.

Episode 2.9 “A Family Affair”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on January 13th, 1987)

A playoff game against Denver is approaching. Denver is coached by a former protegee of Denardo’s and Denardo is obsessed with winning. He’s so obsessed that he alienates the players and Coach Grier (Stan Kamber). Grier is tempted to take a job as Houston’s head coach. Denardo says he doesn’t care until Diane reveals that Grier has turned down several other jobs out of loyalty to Denardo.

As for the other assistant coach, T.D. Parker (OJ Simpson) has problems of his own. His youngest son is acting out and the only thing that’s kept him out of juvenile detention is the fact that the cops are all fans of T.D. and the Bulls. T.D. tells his son that he’s not allowed to leave the house. When T.D.’s wife says that she thinks T.D. is being too strict, T.D. tells her to back off. T.D. gets really mad in this episode but none of it is convincing because OJ Simpson was too amiable an actor to really come across as being threatening. That’s something that would prove helpful to OJ in the years to come.

Meanwhile, the players all invest in the stock market. The stock doesn’t do well. The player who recommended the stock is chased out onto the field before the start of the big game against Denver. Ha ha, those players are all broke now. Good luck dealing with life after the game.

This show, I never know what to make of it. Is it a comedy? Is it a drama? Why is it so oddly edited? How many scenes were cut for syndication? Why do storylines start and then just disappear? For that matter, why do characters suddenly vanish? Dr. Death was a huge part of the show during the first half of the second season but I haven’t seen him during the second half. Did he get traded? Did he get injured? Seriously, what’s going on with this show?

I have no idea. Football’s a confusing sport.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.3 “Bricker’s Boy/Lotions of Love/The Hustlers”

Posted on January 14, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Doc Bricker gets a surprise!

Episode 7.3 “Bricker’s Boy/Lotions of Love/The Hustlers”

(Dir by Jerome Courtland, originally aired on October 8th, 1983)

Doc Bricker has a son!

Well, actually, it’s more a case of David (Timothy Patrick Murphy) claiming to be Doc’s son. It turns out that David’s mother was one of Doc’s ex-girlfriends. By the end of the cruise, Doc has fully accepted David as his son but then David admits that he’s been lying the whole time. Doc is not his father. However, he wishes that Doc was his father. So, Doc — who has got to be the most understanding guy on the planet — adopts him. Vicki has a crush on the loser and Captain Stubing seems to be okay with that, despite the fact that David is a liar who took a cruise without even bothering to buy a ticket. Seriously, I’m kind of worried about Vickie at this point. She’s so bereft of friends her own age that she falls in love with every teenage boy who boards the ship.

While Vicki is busy making a bad decision, gigolo Gary Thomas (Ted McGinley) is traveling with his employer, Arlene (Vera Miles). Gary falls for Fran (Constance Forslund), who is traveling with her sugar daddy, Roy (Chuck Connors). Luckily, Arlene falls for Roy, which frees Gary up to date Fran. Wow, what a sleazy story! I mean, it’s probably as close to real life as this show ever got but still….

Finally, advertising executive Andy O’Neal (Brodie Greer) works on a perfume campaign and ends up falling in love with his client’s flighty daughter (Lydia Cornell). Good for them!

Yeesh. I usually love The Love Boat but this sure was a bland episode! Not even Ted McGinley pretending to be a gigolo could liven this one up. I will say that Bernie Kopell once again proved himself to be far better than the material that he had to work with. But otherwise, this episode was pretty dull.

How coked up was Julie? Obviously nowhere near enough.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.10 “Only In America”

Posted on January 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Lt. Palermo has a lot to deal with.

Episode 3.10 “Only In America”

(Dir by Charles Siebert, originally aired on November 9th,1997)

Lt. Palermo has a lot going on in this episode.

When we first see Palermo, he’s playing basketball near the beach. As has been established in the past, Palermo, a middle-aged white guy, is apparently the best basketball player in all of Santa Monica. In this episode, he discovers that he’s now the second best. Jamal Rasheed (Elimu Nelson), who has just moved to town and who spends most of his time sitting in the stands and reading, turns out to be an even better player than Tony Palermo! Palermo is enthusiastic about Jamal until he discovers that Jamal is a former college player who was suspended when it was discovered that he was shaving points to pay for his drug habit. Jamal claims that he’s now clean and that he’s taught himself to read. Palermo isn’t sure that he trusts Jamal …. and if you’re asking how this is any of Palermo’s business, you’re having the same reaction that I had while I watched this episode.

Palermo is also concerned about a young, roller-blading Romanian named Dimitri Radu (Nathan Anderson), who keeps committing crimes and declaring that he has diplomatic immunity. It turns out that Dimitri wants to exchange his diplomatic immunity for political refugee status. Palermo discovers that Dimitri’s father is a big time arms dealer and that his former partners are looking to take out both him and his son. He also learns that the U.S. government is going to give Dimitri’s father citizenship in exchange for him testifying against his partners. Palermo is outraged!

And again, Palermo — you’re a bicycle cop! You wear those stupid shorts every day. Nobody cared about your opinion, dude!

This episode featured some truly horrendous acting on the part of the guest cast. It also featured a shoot-out in which Cory killed one of the arms dealers. Usually, an officer involved shooting would lead to the officer being on desk duty while the shooting is investigated. Instead, Cory hops on her bicycle and continues to look for Dimitri. This was a pretty dumb episode but it’s Pacific Blue so I wasn’t expecting anything different.

Oh, how happy I’ll be when I finish this series.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.22 “Surrogate Mother/The Ideal Woman”

Posted on January 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. The show is once again on Tubi!

It’s time for one last trip to Fantasy Island.

Episode 7.22 “Surrogate Mother/The Ideal Woman”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on May 19th, 1984)

All things must come to an end. For the original Fantasy Island, the final episode of the seventh season was also the final episode of the series.

The show didn’t get a grand finale. Instead, it was a typical episode with two fantasies. In one fantasy, Charo — yes, Charo — played a woman who had been hired to be a surrogate mother for a childless couple (John Saxon and Juliet Mills). In the other one, Ben Saunders (Shea Farrell) tried to win back his ex-fiancee (Mary Kate McGeehan) while judging a Fantasy Island beauty pageant. (How many pageants did Fantasy Island host?) Two men (Don Galloway and David Sheiner) demanded that Ben pick their girlfriends as the Ideal Woman. (Both of the girlfriends materialized on the Island, one from a painting and one from a block of stone. It was a weird fantasy.) Ben picked his ex, declaring her to be the “ideal woman.” Neither fantasy was great, though I will say that Charo gave a surprisingly sincere performance and it was nice that frequent Fantasy Island guests stars John Saxon and Juliet Mills appeared on the last episode. It was an okay trip to the Island, particularly when compared to some of the other season 7 episodes. Still, the whole thing felt a bit tired.

I have to admit that it’s hard for me to believe that I just reviewed the final episode of the original Fantasy Island. I started reviewing Fantasy Island on September 6th, 2022. It was one of the original shows that I picked for Retro Television Reviews. Now that I’m finishing the show up in 2026, The Love Boat is the only one of my original picks that I still have episodes left to review. I’ll be reviewing The Love Boat for a while.

(To be honest, I’m stunned that I’ve stuck with these reviews. I don’t think anyone was expecting me to get all the way to end of Hang Time, let alone Fantasy Island.)

My thoughts on Fantasy Island? I loved the first four seasons. The fifth season, with its introduction of Julie and it’s frequent side-lining of Tattoo, was when the show started to go downhill. The biggest mistake that the show made was, needless to say, not agreeing to pay whatever was necessary to get Herve Villechaize to come back for season 7. Season 7, the season without Tattoo, felt odd from the start. Christopher Hewett and Ricardo Montalban never had the right chemistry and the stories themselves were largely recycled from earlier episodes. The perfect ending for Fantasy Island would have been the season 6 clip show.

What’s next? On television, Fantasy Island was revived twice. In the 90s, Malcolm McDowell played a version of Mr. Rourke. And then, more recently, there was an attempt to revive it on Fox but, after an enjoyable first season, that show became a self-parody. I may review both of them in the future. For now, though, I’m still considering several shows to start reviewing next week. I’ll reveal my pick next Tuesday!

For now, let us say goodbye to Fantasy Island. Thanks for the laughs, the tears, and the fantasies!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.4 “The Killer Indy”

Posted on January 12, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Baker has a new partner!

Episode 5.4 “The Killer Indy”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on October 25th, 1981)

When a group of bikers start holding illegal street races, Getraer wants it stopped before someone is seriously hurt! Jon Baker and his partner Steve McLeish decide to end the races by any means necessary, especially since Steve’s brothers are involved….

Wait, who?

Played by a pre-transition Caitlyn Jenner, Steve McLeish serves as Baker’s partner in this episode. We don’t really get much of an introduction as to who Steve is or why he’s even riding with Baker. Everyone just acts as if Steve has always been there. Ponch is not even mentioned and it’s difficult not to notice that Larry Wilcox seems a bit more cheerful than usual in this episode. For once, he’s the one who gets to do all of the cool stuff while everyone else watches.

This was the first of several episodes that Erik Estrada missed during the fifth season, the result of being injured during a stunt gone wrong. Jenner, who was then best-known as an Olympian, was brought in to play Steve McLeish. Judging from this episode, Jenner was a remarkably bad actor. Compared to everyone else in the episode, Jenner comes across as being awkward and stiff. Like many nonprofessional actors, it’s obvious that Jenner was not sure what do when not delivering dialogue. Jenner stands there, hands awkwardly positioned and occasionally trying to react to the other actors. It’s really almost painful to watch.

It’s obvious that this episode was written with Ponch in mind. Like Ponch, Steve has two brothers and used to be a motorcycle-racing delinquent when he was younger. His older brother (who is played by the legendary character actor Robert F. Lyons) is named Toro, which might make sense if he was Ponch’s brother but, as it is, you really do have to wonder about the parents who would name one son Toro and the other sons Steve and Ted. Ted, incidentally, is played by Kevyn Major Howard. Howard, Lyons and Jenner have next to no features in common, leading one to wonder how they could possibly all be members of the same family?

There was some good motorcycle chase action in this episode. There was also so much dialogue about the importance of wearing a helmet that, as soon as the gang’s leader announced he didn’t need a helmet, the most viewers had to know that he was doomed to ultimately be thrown from his motorcycle and crash headfirst into the pavement. “He hit his head,” Getraer says and that’s the last we hear about the guy.

As for this episodes comedic subplot, Grossman begged his fellow patrol people to join him and his nieces at the waterpark. While Baker, Steve, and everyone else took care of his nieces, Grossman hung out with his two bikini-clad neighbors. Grossman winked at the camera as the CHiPs theme music started to play.

And so, it’s another day in L.A….

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.10 “To Have And To Hold”

Posted on January 12, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 100th episode of Miami Vice finds Crockett and Tubbs pursuing separate stories.

Episode 5.10 “To Have And To Hold”

(Dir by Eugene Corr, originally aired on February 10th, 1989)

When Sonny learns that his now-teenage son (Clayton Barclay Jones) is acting out at school, he hops on a plane and flies to wherever it is that his ex-wife (Belinda Montgomery) and her new husband (Parris Buckner) are supposed to be living now. Sonny discovers that his ex-wife is pregnant and that his son is having a hard time adjusting to the idea of being an older brother. He also doesn’t get along with his stepfather. Sonny and his son watch the original, Boris Karloff-starring Frankenstein in a movie theater and have a discussion about family.

(Sonny’s son says that he relates to the Monster because the Monster doesn’t mean to kill people but he does. Today, that would probably lead to the kid getting suspended from school and sent to a boot camp. In 1989, though, that just meant the kid was feeling misunderstood.)

With Crockett gone, it falls to Tubbs — using his “Cooper” persona and his fake Jamaican accent — to investigate who is responsible for killing a just-married drug kingpin. Tubbs meets the kingpin’s ruthless son (Miguel Ferrer, looking intense) and he also falls in love with the kingpin’s widow (Elpidia Carrillo). Tubbs is in love and thinking of leaving Vice? Needless to say, the widow is dead by the end of the episode.

This episode concludes with Tubbs and Crockett fishing on Crockett’s boat. They’re both feeling disillusioned. Crockett is still in love with his ex-wife. Tubbs is realizing that he’ll probably never find happiness as long as he’s working undercover in Miami. It’s a bit of a bittersweet ending. Neither Crockett nor Tubbs seems to be particularly happy. Miami Vice was always at its best when it ended on a down note.

This episode managed to give Crockett and Tubbs an equal amount of screentime and both Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas gave good performances. Unfortunately, the divided format of the episode meant that both stories ended up feeling a bit rushed and incomplete. The ending was effective and Miguel Ferrer gave a typically strong performance but otherwise, this was a pretty uneven episode.

Song of the Day: Every Breath You Take vs The Theme From Peter Gunn

Posted on January 12, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I was thinking of re-binging The Sopranos next month and that led to me remembering this totally awesome bit of music from the show’s third season premiere!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.8 “Easy Come Easy Go”

Posted on January 7, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Time to get back to 1st & Ten. To be honest, with all the excitement of the holiday season, I totally forgot that I was reviewing this show.

Episode 2.8 “Easy Come, Easy Go”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on January 6th, 1987)

This is yet another episode of 1st & Ten that felt as if it was put together almost at random.

Mad Dog (Tony Longo) has a one night stand with a lawyer named Molly (June Chadwick) and he ends up becoming obsessed with her. He shows up at a fancy cocktail party being hosted by Molly’s law firm. “This man is stalking me!” Molly yells. All of the men at the party are like, “Mad Dog! You’re my favorite player!” Now, I will say that this is a realistic portrayal of how most men act whenever they see a professional athlete but it still felt a bit icky to watch.

Jethro takes a blood test and discovers that little Tommy is not his son. But he still wants to be a part of the kid’s life.

Yinessa sees a tabloid newspaper headline about his “nude pictures” and starts yelling at a supermarket manager for selling the paper.

Waldren is in financial trouble because he’s been tossing money around. A group of gamblers approach him and offer to pay to shave points. OJ Simpson (in the role of offensive coordinator T.D. Parker) tells Waldren, “I’m keeping my eye on you.” Oh no! LOOK OUT, WALDREN!

However, Waldren does not shave points. Instead, he catches the ball that seals the Bulls victory in their first playoff game. Woo hoo! Go, Waldren!

A lot happened but, in typical 1st & Ten fashion, none of it added up to much. It could be because the streaming episodes were edited for syndication but this is just a weird show. Every episode feels as if their huge chunks of plot missing.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.1 and 7.2 “China Cruise: The Pledge/East Meets West/Dear Roberta/My Two Dumplings”

Posted on January 7, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we begin season 7!

Episodes 7.1 and 7.2 “China Cruise: The Pledge/East Meets West/Dear Roberta/My Two Dumplings”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on October 1st, 1983)

It’s time for season seven of The Love Boat!

Gopher has been promoted to head purser. For six seasons, he was assistant purser and I always wondered who the head purser was. Apparently, there wasn’t one because Stubing promoted him without firing anyone. It’s possible that I just don’t know how cruise ships work.

The Love Boat crew starts off the season with a cruise around China! I guess the old saying is true — only Stubing could go to China. I kept waiting for Stubing to announce that he recognized Taiwan as an independent nation but he didn’t. I was a little bit disappointed by that. Instead, Stubing and the crew saw the sights. There’s a panda bear! There’s the Great Wall of China! There’s a bunch of young people all singing, almost as the future of their loved ones depended on doing a good job! In fact, this premiere episode is really more about seeing the sights of China than it is about any of the drama playing out on the boat. I guess that makes since. This episode aired in the pre-Internet age of 1983, so for the audience, this really was a chance to see a world that they probably couldn’t otherwise experience. It’s not like they could go on YouTube and do a search for China or something like that. It was up to The Love Boat to open up the world!

That said, Chinese medicine came in for a bit of criticism. Susan Anton played a woman who didn’t trust doctors and who thought buying a Chinese symbol for good luck would keep her safe. However, when she suddenly had intense stomach pain, it was up to Doc to save her life. Where’s your good luck charm now!?

Linda Evans played a woman who fell in love with Lee Majors, little suspecting that Majors was the author of the “Dear Roberta” advice column. Some of “Roberta’s” advice led to Evans divorcing her previous husband.

Lee Horsley played a man with two girlfriends (Erin Moran and Pat Klous). Uh-oh! They all ended up on the boat at the same time!

Finally, Ursula Andress played a dying woman who fell for a mysterious but charming passenger (John Forsythe). Unfortunately, Forsythe had a warrant out for his arrest and Detective Michael Constantine was determined to take him into custody. This story was unique in that it had an unhappy ending! While the crew had a few unhappy endings (Remember when Julie was left at the altar?), this was the first time that things didn’t work out for a passenger.

Was this a good episode? It was, strictly from the point of view that I like The Love Boat crew and I enjoy spending time with them. This episode was occasionally a bit too much of a travelogue but the Andress/Forsythe story carried some weight. All in all, it was a decent start for season 7.