Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 4.16 “Stakeout”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, the detectives take over someone else’s house.

Episode 4.16 “Stakeout”

(Dir by John McNaughton, originally aired on March 15th, 1996)

When a young man confesses to helping an older man carry out a series of murders, the Homicide Squad stakes out the older man’s house.  Jim True-Frost and Kate Walsh play the owners of the home that the squad takes over.  The husband is out of work.  The wife has a habit of oversharing.  While they try to adjust to having cops hanging out in their living room, the detectives adjust to the idea that Bayliss may be leaving them.

Once again, Bayliss is thinking about leaving Homicide.  This has been a recurring theme with Bayliss, ever since he failed to close the Adena Watson case.  (In this episode, he mentions that his number one suspect — Risley Tucker — has recently died.)  Bayliss’s complaint is that he still feels like he barely knows the other detectives.  He mentions that he’s never even been to Pembleton’s house.  Pembleton asks if Bayliss is really that surprised that Pembleton might want time to himself when he’s not on the clock.  Bayliss talks about how the Vice Squad regularly has barbecues.  He talks about the comradery that he felt when he was on the Governor’s security detail.  But Homicide tends to attract the misanthropes and the eccentrics.

Of course, Bayliss doesn’t leave Homicide.  At the end of the episode, he takes one look at the board and sees that he still has one open case.  “I can’t leave until the Lambert case is closed,” Bayliss says while Pembleton smiles.

Giardello, meanwhile, is struggling with the knowledge that his daughter is getting married to a man that he’s never even met.  Giardello has been invited to the wedding in San Francisco but he keeps finding excuses not to go.  Pembleton finally convinces Giardello that he needs to go to his daughter’s wedding.  Unfortunately, when Giardello arrives at the airport, he’s told that all flights have been grounded due to the weather.  So, Giardello misses the wedding regardless.

Eventually, the killer returns to his home.  He’s a stout man who looks like he should be selling insurance.  Bayliss and Pembleton arrest him and the stakeout ends.  The husband, who has been out looking for a job, pulls up just as Bayliss and Pembleton are leaving.  Life goes on for everyone but the dead.

This episode was okay.  I appreciated that it was a return to the character-driven drama of the earlier seasons.  The snowy imagery brought a lot of atmosphere to the episode and director John McNaughton (of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer fame) did a good job framing scenes that could have come across as being excessively talky in lesser hands.  That said, the husband and the wife were not that interesting and I never really bought the idea that they would pour out all of their marital woes to a bunch of strangers in their living room.

This is my final Homicide review for 2025.  Retro Television Reviews is taking a break for the holidays!  Homicide will return on January 11th, 2026.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.6 “Aloha Slater”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime and Tubi!

This week, Zack has a chance to get ride of his main frenemy!

Episode 1.6 “Aloha Slater”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 23rd, 1989)

Zack Morris used to be the “top dog” at Bayside but now that Slater has arrived, no one cares about Zack’s pathetic little third place ribbon that he got at a track meet.  Instead, they care about the giant trophy that Slater won at his latest wrestling match.

However, there may be hope on the horizon!  Slater’s father, Major Martin Slater (Gerald Castillo), has been offered a transfer to Hawaii.  When Major Slater tells Belding that he will be removing AC from school, Screech listens from inside a filing cabinet.  Major Slater can’t wait to go to Hawaii but AC isn’t so sure.  He’s finally got friends and he’s winning trophies!  Major Slater leaves it up to his son.  If AC Slater wants to go to Hawaii, the family will transfer.  If AC wants to stay in California, they will.

Zack decides that AC has to go to Hawaii.  He convinces Lisa, Kelly, and Jessie that AC is dying of a mysterious disease and that his only hope for survival is moving to Hawaii.  Zack sprinkles fire ants on AC’s back to make AC herk and jerk, as if he’s having a spasm.  “This is study hall, not soul train!” the teacher announces.  That teacher, by the way, was played by Dustin Diamond’s father.

Zack convinces everyone to treat AC like crap.  He also steals AC’s wrestling trophy.  AC announces that he’s going to Hawaii.  Kelly replies, “And I’m going with him!”

Zack is stunned.  I’m stunned, as well.  How exactly is Kelly going to go with him?  Are her poor, salt-of-the-Earth parents okay with moving to one of the most expensive states to live in?  At least the Slaters have a home and a good job waiting for them in the Aloha State.

(Actually, now that I think about it and I remember Saved By The Hell Hawaiian Style, Kelly did have that uncle who lived in Hawaii so I guess it’s not as out-there a development as I initially though.)

Kelly tells Slater that she knows he’s dying.  Slater realizes that he’s been set up.  It’s time for another prank!  AC’s father turns out to be remarkably okay with staying in California.  He’s also okay with pretending to be insane and throwing a grenade at Zack.

Watching this episode, it occurred to me that, during the first season at least, Mario Lopez was clearly the star of the show.  While Mark-Paul Gosselaar was still trying a little bit too hard (and he wasn’t helped by some overwritten dialogue) and Dustin Diamond looked like he was about 10 years old, Mario Lopez gave a believable performance as a teenager who had finally found a home and didn’t want to leave it.  Slater’s the compelling character, the one who actually gets to grow and deal with real problems.  (Gosselaar, of course, has grown tremendously as an actor since the first season of SBTB.)

Fortunately, Slater stays in California.  Yay!  It’s hard to imagine Bayside without him.

This is my final Saved By The Bell review of 2025.  Retro Television Reviews is taken a break for the holidays so that I can focus on Awards Season and Christmas movies!  Saved By The Bell will return on January 10th, 2026.

 

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/30/25 — 12/6/25


Frosty the Snowman (Thursday, NBC)

This holiday special makes me cry.  Everytime.

How The Grinch Stole Christmas (Thursday, NBC)

Oh, I love this one!  Seriously, Boris Karloff and Christmas are a great combination!

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Friday, NBC)

Why is Santa Claus so mean in this one?  This special has always been my least favorite of the classic Christmas specials because it makes the North Pole look like a terrible place to work.

Saved By The Bell: The New Class (Prime)

I’ve been struggling with insomnia this week but I discovered that, if I put SBTB: The New Class on as background noise, it actually eases me into sleep.  This week, I slept through seasons 6 and 7.  I had totally forgotten that, after Richard Lee Jackson left, they brought in yet another blonde transfer student from Valley to step into the Zack role.  As I said last week, this show was the version of Saved By The Bell that I grew up with and I have a certain nostalgia for it.  It’s not good but it’s oddly comforting in its terrible way.

Sean Combs: The Reckoning (Netflix)

I watched this docuseries on Friday and Saturday.  It’s always so weird to me how people just kind of shrug off rap feuds turning violent, as if all the death is just a part of the entertainment.  As for the series itself, it obviously had an agenda but that doesn’t make Sean Combs any less sleazy.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.7 “The Cretin of the Shallows”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, there’s a lot happening on the beach!

Baywatch 1.7 “The Cretin of the Shallows”

(Dir by Vern Gillum, originally aired on December 1st, 1989)

Eddie gets his wisdom teeth taken out.  Feverish and on pain-killers, he has a hallucination in which Gina Pomeroy (Holly Gagnier) kisses him.  Eddie spends the entire episode nervous that Craig is going to discover that he’s having an affair with his wife but actually, Eddie isn’t having an affair.  It’s not until the end of the episode that Gina tells Eddie that they never kissed and Eddie finally starts to relax.  Gina promises not to tell Craig because “I think it’s sweet.”  Myself, I’m just curious as to how stupid Eddie actually is.

Shauni and Jill deal with a teenage boy who has made a bet with his friends that he’ll be able to get a kiss from both of them.

And a horrifying serial killer (Robert Trebor) is stalking the night, brutally murdering people on the beach.

One of these storylines is not like the other!

The first season of Baywatch was seriously weird.  Light-hearted lifeguard hi-jinx would be mixed in with scenes of people being murdered.  Mitch and Craig weren’t just lifeguards.  They were also cops who solved mysteries (Kind of like Baywatch Nights!) and they put their lives at risk to do so.  Remember how I mentioned that Gina told Eddie that they never kissed?  She told him that after she had been rescued from the serial killer.  Gina nearly died!  Neither Gina nor Craig seemed to be too upset about that, though.  I would be a little bit traumatized but that’s just me.

This episode really didn’t work for me.  Personally, I like the light-hearted stuff.  It’s dumb but, at heart, Baywatch’s appeal is that it’s a dumb show with nice scenery.  Tossing a serial killer into the mix just made things unpleasant.  It didn’t feel like it belonged on a show about people running on the beach in red bathing suits.

This is my last Baywatch review of 2025.  Retro Television Reviews will be taking a break for the holidays so that I can focus on Awards Season and Christmas movies!  Baywatch will return on January 10, 2026.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.18 “The Art of Death”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week’s episode is actually decent.

Episode 1.18 “The Art of Death”

(Dir by Ken Wiederhorn, originally aired on March 12th, 1989)

Jack (Carey Scott) is a talented artist and college student who has a crush on Joan (Laura Schaefer).  When Joan’s jock boyfriend humiliates Jack, Jack suddenly finds himself approached by The Phantom (Judd Omen), a masked figure who claims that he can kill Jack’s enemies if Jack draws a picture of him doing it.  After the jock is killed in a treadmill accident, Joan sees the picture that Jack drew and decides she doesn’t want anything to do with Jack.  The Phantom suggests drawing a picture of him surprising Joan in the shower.  Jack refuses, just to discover that the picture has already been drawn and the Phantom is now holding Joan prisoner in a boiler room.  Jack draws a picture of the Phantom being sucked down a hole.  The Phantom vanishes but …. oh no, now Jack’s wearing the mask!  Jack was the Phantom all along!

As for the second story, Joan struggles to recover from the trauma.  In typical Freddy’s Nightmares fashion, she has a series of hallucinations that lead to her killing her psychiatrist.

This episode actually worked!  The first story was genuinely creepy.  The second story was predictable but it featured a good performance from Laura Schaefer and the action moved at a decent pace.  I’m going to give the majority of the credit to director Ken Wiederhorn, who previously directed one of my favorite zombie films, 1977’s Shock Waves.

This is my final Freddy’s Nightmares review for 2025.  Retro Television Review is taking a break for the holidays, so I can focus on Awards Season and Christmas movies!  Freddy’s Nightmares will return on January 9th.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.3 “Two Balls And A Strike”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, the nurses go on strike.  Fire all of them!, I say.

Episode 3.3 “Two Balls and a Strike”

(Dir by David Anspaugh, originally aired on October 3rd, 1984)

It’s another depressing few days at St. Eligius.

When negotiations break down, all of the nurses — except for Shirley Daniels — go on strike.  Led by Nurse Rosenthal, they march out of the hospital and join a picket line in the rain.  Triumphant music plays on the soundtrack  Rosenthal gets on her bullhorn and announces that anyone making deliveries to the hospital will be crossing the picket line and not showing solidarity with the union.  Honestly, though?  Screw the union.  It’s a hospital!  It needs supplies.  There are people dying inside of that building and they’re not even going to have the dignity of clean linen because of Nurse Rosenthal and her stupid union.  And another thing …. Rosenthal is the head of union at St. Eligius.  So, why isn’t she marching in the rain and carrying a sign?  Why does she get to stand in the doorway and shout at people?  Get out there and suffer for your union, you British commie!

Obviously, the show wanted me to be inspired by Rosenthal and the union.  Whenever it switched over to the picket line, triumphant music started playing.  I’m with Nurse Daniels on this one, though.  Daniels didn’t vote the union so why should she have to suffer in the rain?  She stays on the job.  “Good luck,” Rosenthal tells her, “you’ll need it.”  And all I can say to that is that at least Shirley Daniels isn’t deserting the hospital’s patients.

While the nurses are on strike, Dr. Canavero is attacked by a hulking man wearing a ski mask.  Canavero is able to fight him off.  Westphall and everyone else at the hospital immediately assumes that the man was Peter White but Peter has an alibi.  He was in radiology when Canavero was attacked.  So, is there a new ski mask rapist haunting the hospital?  The first ski mask rapist storyline was pretty disturbing, especially since Peter got away with it.  I’m not sure I want to go through a second one.

Dr. Craig and Ellen went to couples therapy.  As usual, Dr. Craig got annoyed with the whole thing.  There’s really nothing more fun than watching Dr. Craig get annoyed.  No one gets annoyed better than William Daniels.  Still, it seemed to do Dr. Craig and Ellen some good, with Ellen making plans to go to Hawaii and Dr. Craig acknowledging that he’s not always the easiest person to deal with.

As for Dr. Westphall …. he spent most of this episode depressed.  Westphall is always depressed.

This is my final St. Elsewhere review for 2025.  Retro Television Review is taking a break for the holidays, so I can focus on Awards Season and Christmas movies!  St. Elsewhere will return on January 9th.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.24 “The Whole Nine Yards”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

Today, season 4 comes to a close with an episode about two football teams, one struggling and one not.  Care to guess which team is going to win the big game?

Episode 4.24 “The Whole Nine Yards”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on April 27th, 1988)

Charlie DuBoise (Dinah Lacey) is a twelve year-old girl who wants to play football.  Vince Diller (Beau Starr) is the chauvinistic coach who refuses to allow Charlie to join his team, despite the fact that she can catch and she’s even faster then his son, quarterback Ricky Diller (Chad Allen).  Instead, Charlie joins another team, the 0-5 Minnows.  Who is the new coach of the Minnows?  Mark Gordon, of course!

Ricky has a hard time accepting that a girl beat him in a race and, when Charlie approaches him in a totally 80s arcade, a fight breaks out.  Luckily, Jonathan is there to break it up.  Ricky apologizes to Charlie while Charlie has a gigantic wad of Kleenex stuck up her nose.  The scene goes on for a while and Charlie never removes the Kleenex.  It was awkward to watch.  Seriously, that’s what nampons are for.

Eventually, Ricky gets sick of Vince and his win-at-all-costs mentality.  Ricky talks back to his father and gets kicked off the team.  Ricky joins the Minnows and he and Charlie defeat Vince’s team in the big game.  Vince comes to realize that the game should be about fun and Ricky and Charlie go to the school dance together.

And so ends season 4 of Highway to Heaven.  Shows about girls who want to play football are always weird to me because I’m a girl and I can’t ever think of circumstances in which I would want to play football.  But I do think that if Charlie wants to get a head start on getting the concussions that will ruin her adult life, she should certainly be allowed to do so.  The main problem with this episode was that Vince was such an ogre and such a terrible father that the show’s happy ending felt false.  His son joined another team and destroyed Vince’s undefeated record.  The episode ends with Vince saying he’s proud of his son but Vince has been such a monster that his words sound hollow.  I’m kind of worried about what’s going to happen when Ricky goes home.  Instead of putting together a football game, Jonathan and Mark should have been calling Child Protective Services.

This is my final episode of Highway to Heaven for 2025.  Retro Television Reviews will be taking a break for the holidays but this feature will return!  On January 8th, 2026, we’ll start our look at the final season of Highway to Heaven.

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.14 “Bullet of Hate”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey solves her easiest case yet!

Episode 1.14 “Bullet of Hate”

(Dir by Teddy Sills, originally aired on January 13th, 1958)

This week, Casey doesn’t go undercover.  Instead, she’s just a uniformed police officer who responds to fight between teenage Stella (Sandra Whiteside) and her adoptive aunt, Mary (Joanna Roos).  Casey takes sympathy on Stella, who isn’t a bad kid but who is rebelling against her heartless Aunt Mary and Uncle Lester (Alfred Ryder).  When Mary ends up getting shot, Stella is the number one suspect and Stella herself even thinks that she’s responsible.  But, of course, it turns out that Stella has been framed by Lester.

The main problem with this episode is that we watch as Lester frames Stella by giving her a gun.  When Stella fires the gun during an argument, Mary isn’t injured but she does faint.  Stella flees.  Lester then uses the gun to actually shoot Mary.  Since we know that Lester committed the crime, there’s not really any suspense when Casey starts to suspect that Stella’s been set up.  We already know she’s been set up and we also know that, since Lester is an idiot, Casey is going to be able to easily solve the case.  And since we know that Casey is good with a gun, we’re not that surprised when Casey ends up taking Lester out (in self-defense, of course!).  This isn’t like Columbo or the first season of Poker Face where the killer is so diabolically clever that we can’t wait to see how the hero manages to trick them into confessing.  Lester’s just a dummy.

Joanna Loos and Alfred Ryder both went overboard as the villainous aunt and uncle but Sandra Whiteside was effective as the desperate Stella.  Apparently, this was one of only two roles that Whiteside played in her career.  She gives a strong performance.

This is my final Decoy review for 2025.  Retro Television Reviews is going on break for the holidays so that I can focus on Awards Season and Christmas movies!  Decoy will return on January 8th, 2026.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.7 “Yinessa’s Interview”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

The Bulls are in the playoffs!

Episode 2.7 “Yinessa’s Interview”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on December 30th, 1986)

Last week, training camp finally ended.

This week, the Bulls are in the playoffs!

Wow, we skipped the entire regular season.  Well, that’s okay.  It was obvious from the start that the Bulls were going to make it to the playoffs so why hold off on the inevitable?  Tom Yinessa has led the Bulls to a spot in the Wildcard and woo hoo!

The only problem is that Yinessa hasn’t had time to get laid.  When he does try to make time for Christy (Betsy Russell) — who I guess is his new girlfriend because she wasn’t his girlfriend an episode ago — they are interrupted by reporter Donna Starkey (Brianne Leary), who needs to finish up her interview with Yinessa.  Christy leaves angry but then she returns to make up for Yinessa, just to discover him on the verge of fooling around with Donna.

While all of this is going, the other team tries to fool the Bulls by sending them a fake playbook.  Coach Denardo thinks that it’s genuine but T.D. Parker is like, “I’ll kill you if you use that playbook!  I’ve done it before!”  Also a woman tells Jethro that he’s the father of her son.  Jethro is skeptical but he agrees to get a paternity test.

Donna writes an article about how Yinessa is an unimpressive quarterback.  But the Bulls still win their playoff game by relying on defense.  Mad Dog Smears angrily notes that reporters never want to interview anyone defense …. wait a minute, where’s Dr. Death?  Seeing as how the defense wins the game, this seems like a weird episode not to feature Dr. Death.

The Bulls win their game but Yinessa no longer has a girlfriend.  Womp womp.

This episode was weirdly unsubstantial.  It may be because of how the episodes have been edited for syndication to remove all of the nudity and cursing but 1st & Ten never seems to be able to develop any sort of narrative momentum.  Instead of each episode building towards something, it’s usually just 20 minutes of random events that never seem to really be tied together.  One could say the same thing of life in general, I suppose.

This is my final 1st & Ten review of 2025.  Retro Television Reviews is taken a break for the holidays but this feature will return in January.  My next 1st & Ten review will be on January 7th, 2026.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.29 “Fountain of Youth/Bad Luck Cabin/Uncle Daddy”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the sixth season of The Love Boat comes to a close.

Episode 6.29 “Fountain of Youth/Bad Luck Cabin/Uncle Daddy”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on May 7th,1983)

The sixth season of The Love Boat ends on a rather silly note.

A newlywed couple (David Naughton and Lynda Goodfriend) board the ship and a coked-up Julia assigns them to a cabin that is known for being cursed.  Couples who stay in the cabin always break up.  Gopher and Julie try to make sure that the couple doesn’t fall victim to the curse.

Henry Harper (Ted McGinley), who appears to be in his 20s, boards the boat and tells elderly Dwight Schofield (David Wayne) that he’s the same Henry Harper that Dwight went to college with.  Henry claims that he’s discovered the Fountain of Youth!  Actually, this Henry Harper is the grandson of the original Henry Harper and this is all an elaborate scheme to get revenge on Dwight for cheating the first Henry Harper out of an oil well.  Dwight, however, falls for it and tries to buy the Fountain of Youth.  Grandson Henry, meanwhile, falls in love with Dwight’s granddaughter (Michele Tobin) who is all like, “I like you but I can’t be with someone from the Twilight Zone.”  Grandson Henry eventually admits the truth and all is …. forgiven?  Really?

Those two stories were pretty dumb.  Fortunately, the third story was an Isaac story and, as he always did whenever he got a chance in the spotlight, Ted Lange really delivered.  Isaac wants to marry Gayle Davis (Tracy Reed) so he can become the stepfather of Bobby Davis (Shavar Ross).  In the end, Isaac realizes that he doesn’t love Gayle and the marriage wouldn’t work.  It was a pretty simple story but Lange always did such a good job of portraying Isaac’s essential decency that it was hard not to get caught up in whether or not he was actually going to leave the Love Boat crew.  Fortunately, Isaac will still be pouring drinks during season 7.

This is not only the final Love Boat episode of Season 6 but it’s also my final Love Boat episode of 2025.  Retro Television Reviews is taking a break for the holidays so that I can focus on both the Awards Season and Christmas movies.  The Love Boat will return on January 7th, 2026.