Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.
This week, Billy Cooper gets in trouble.
Episode 5.6 “Clean and Sober”
(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 15th, 1989)
This week’s episode features three storylines.
The simplest of the storylines features Denardo’s ex-wife (Arlene Golonka) showing up at his house and saying that she’s hiding from a stalker. She even changes Denardo’s phone number. It turns out that her stalker is actually her current husband and they’re just having a minor argument. They’re reunited while Denardo stands in the background and smiles.
The comedic storyline features an ex-player named Wes (Bob Chandler) asking Dr. Death and Jethro to serve as his bodyguards for a week. Wes, who left football and got the lead role on a cop show, says that he’s going to have to testify against a mob boss. Dr. Death and Jethro agree to keep an eye on him. For instance, they bring him to practice. They also freak out when someone tosses an unlit stick of dynamite at them. Eventually, it turns out that Wes set them up to be the victims on a television prank show. This storyline also featured Zagred begging Wes to put him on his show. Even TD Parker (OJ Simpson) got in on the spirit, asking Wes if he could help him pitch a television show about a football manager who solves murders. Uhmm, yeah, that sounds like a great idea, OJ….
The dramatic storyline features Billy getting into an accident while driving drunk. His companion for the night is nearly killed. Billy is sentenced to 90 days of alcohol rehab. The member of the Bulls are not supportive of Billy’s attempt to get sober. Johnny Gunn resents that he spent six years in prison for something that he did while drunk but Billy is apparently going to get away with just a slap on the wrist. Billy stops drinking and starts popping pills.
TD is upset to see that Billy is not making a real effort to get sober. When TD hears an commentator refer to Billy as being a “true professional,” TD replies, “Not in my book.”
Really, OJ?
This episode was all over the place, as is usually the case with 1st & Ten. I actually found the storyline about Wes to be amusing but it didn’t feel like it belonged on an episode where Billy was trying and failing to get sober. That said, this episode’s portrayal of Billy as being too rich and too famous to be held responsible for his mistakes was probably pretty close to the truth when it comes to celebrity addicts. Billy may hate himself but he’s got enough cash to soothe the pain.
In the old west, a professional gunman (played by Tony Anthony) has been hired to escort 50 women to a Texas mining town. The gunman is known as Blindman, precisely because he is a blind man. He is also a fast and deadly with a gun and has an apparent psychic connection with his horse. Unfortunately, for Blindman, it turns out that his partners double crossed him and sold the 50 women to a Mexican bandit. Blindman must go to Mexico to rescue the women from the ruthless Domingo (Lloyd Battista) and his crazy younger brother, Candy (Ringo Starr).
