Mitzi Kapture – Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, OJ Simpson falls for a blonde. Uh-oh.

Episode 5.5 “Love and Marriage”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 8th, 1989)

TD Parker (OJ Simpson) and Kristy Fullbright (Shannon Tweed) end up working closely together while searching for a new punter. Kristy is in the process of getting a divorce from her husband. TD is already divorced and has been chasing after almost every woman that he sees. Still, TD doesn’t know if he should get involved with someone with whom he works. Kristy, meanwhile, isn’t sure that she isn’t still in love with her husband….

Meanwhile, Zagreb goes on a dating show but is humiliated when his date, Colleen (Mitzi Kapture), says that he was a terrible date whose breath smelled like garlic. The entire team watches the show and starts to chant, “Colleen! Colleen!” Ha hah, everyone hates Zagreb. Later, Colleen approaches Zagreb at the bar and tells him that the show told her to say a lot of negative stuff about Zagreb but, actually, she wants to date him again. Isn’t Zagreb married? I remember that there was a huge storyline about him getting married during the third season.

Finally, Bubba and Jethro are taken to small claims court over an incident that happened at the bar. Jethro decides that he would like to get together with the plaintiff.

But let’s get back to OJ Simpson and Shannon Tweed. I don’t know if I can express just how boring it is to watch two mid actors with zero screen presence fall for each other. Because it’s impossible to look at TD Parker and not see OJ Simpson, I found myself getting very worried as I watched TD obsess on an emotionally fragile blonde. At the end of the episode, it looks like TD and Kristy are finally going to hook up but then Kristy’s husband calls and says he’s not sure if he wants a divorce. Kristy says she’s not sure either. TD leaves Kristy’s house, looking regretful.

As I’ve mentioned before, the presence of OJ Simpson add a subtext to every scene that undoubtedly was not there when this show first aired. OJ is supposed to look wistful as he leaves the house. Instead, I found myself hoping that Kristy would remember to lock all the doors that night and definitely not go out to dinner at Mezzaluna.

I guess the important thing, though, is that Bulls got a new punter.

Despite being asked to take the case by an old friend (Mason Adams), Perry Mason (Raymond Burr) is reluctant to defend Johnny Sorrento (Michael Nader) in court. Johnny is a former gangster who has been credibly accused of murder in the past. Now, he’s on trial for killing his wife and not even Perry is totally convinced that he’s innocent.

Of the 18 Perry Mason films that I’ve watched so far, this was definitely the best. This is the first time that I’ve seen Perry defend someone who he both dislikes and, even more importantly, distrusts and Raymond Burr was really convincing whenever he got angry at Johnny. For once, the case wasn’t wrapped up as neatly as usual. Solving the murder of Johnny’s wife meant delving into a past murder and it uncovered a lot of dark secrets. The identity of the killer was a real surprise but there was a lot more going on than just solving the mystery of who killed Johnny’s wife. At the end of this movie, Perry looked like he was about to cry, no matter how much Della (Barbara Hale) tried to comfort him.

Sharing much more would be the same as spoiling all of the movie’s twists and turns so I’ll just repeat that this is the best of the Perry Mason movies that I’ve seen so far. The guest cast is great, especially Mason Adams and Paul Anka. The Perry Mason films always follow the same plot and sometimes, they can blend together but this one made a real impression and really took me by surprise.