Race Nelson – Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, Brody and Summer go through rookie school!

Episode 3.4 “Rookie of the Year”

(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on October 5th, 1992)

This week’s episode follows Matt Brody and Summer Quinn through rookie school as they compete for Rookie of the Year. The winner gets to choose a beach assignment. Eddie Kramer won the honor in his class. Brody has a shot this year, but only if he can beat arrogant Clint Chandler (Race Nelson) in the Gauntlet, a grueling race across the beach and through the ocean.

The episode gives us a few questions to ponder.

Will Brody overcome his rebellious attitude and the disapproval of his wealthy father (Dirk Benedict)?
Will Summer find the courage to make the pier jump?
When C.J. and Stephanie discover that they share an ex-boyfriend, and that he rented his old apartment to both of them, will they be able to live together?

The answer to all three questions is yes. If you didn’t instinctively know that, you have obviously never watched Baywatch.

Brody comes close to dropping out of rookie school, until Mitch tells him he reminds him of a young hothead who had a problem with his dad. “Eddie Kramer?” Brody says. Mitch shakes his head. “About a foot taller.” (Mitch means himself. Brody still deserves some credit for clocking that he is basically Eddie Kramer with a rich dad.)

C.J. may be into crystals and Stephanie may be down-to-earth and practical, but they still make their odd-couple dynamic work.

And Summer may be scared of jumping off the pier, but she does it after encouragement from C.J. and Brody. Brody wins Rookie of the Year not just because he beat Clint in the Gauntlet, but because he helped Summer make the jump.

Meanwhile, it is announced that Guido Torzini (Buzz Belmondo), a guy with a pencil-thin mustache who has been hanging around headquarters whether anyone asked him to or not, will be Baywatch’s official maintenance engineer. Congratulations, Guido, whoever you may be.

This was an episode built out of montages. The rookies run into the water. The rookies run out of the water. Sometimes they do it in slow motion. It was thoroughly predictable, but the beach was lovely and the ocean was inviting.

There was nothing at all challenging about this episode.

And sometimes that’s just fine.

This week, we start the third season!

Episodes 3.1 and 3.2 “River of No Return”

(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on September 14th, 1992)

The third season of Baywatch begins with Mitch learning of the death of his uncle, an eccentric old prospector who always claimed that he was going to find gold. Mitch and Hobie decide to head to Northern California to investigate, and Eddie and Shauni agree to join them. For Eddie, it’s a chance to have one last adventure with Mitch before he heads off to Australia as part of the lifeguard exchange program. For Shauni, it’s a chance to reveal to Eddie that he knocked her up. For the show, it’s a chance to introduce CJ Parker (Pamela Anderson), a river guide who plays the saxophone and who gives good relationship advice.

Yes, this episode was Pamela Anderson’s first appearance on Baywatch. It turns out that, before she was a sax-playing river guide, CJ was a lifeguard, and Mitch would love it if she would return to the beach. Oddly, even though everyone already knows CJ, no one has ever mentioned her before. Considering that she was apparently a legendary lifeguard, you would think that she would have been mentioned in the past.

However, before CJ can return to the beach, she has to help Mitch and the gang find the gold mine that Mitch’s uncle found shortly before he died. Unfortunately, Drew (Bill McKinney) and Lonny (Mickey Jones), two no-good rednecks, also want to find the mine.

Meanwhile, back at the beach, Summer Quinn (Nicole Eggert) and her mother, Jackie (Susan Anton), have moved to Los Angeles to get away from Jackie’s abusive ex, Jed (Geoffrey Scott). Jed follows them but, fortunately, he’s put in his place by Matt Brody (David Charvet), a rich kid who is hoping to become a lifeguard. Like all of the other prospective lifeguards, Matt Brody is curious about “Bobby Quinn,” who is new to California and who was apparently a champion swimmer back in Pennsylvania. At the lifeguard try-out, Summer tells Matt that Summer is just a nickname and her first name is actually Roberta.

This two-part episode largely exists to introduce Pamela Anderson, Nicole Eggert, and David Charvet as regulars. All three of them do pretty well for their first episode. They all seem like they actually want to be there, which is quite a contrast to Billy Warlock and Erika Eleniak, both of whom have subsequently been pretty vocal about not being happy with the direction the show took during the second season. Of course, as soon as Eggert and Charvet show up, it’s easy to see that there’s no longer going to be room for Warlock and Eleniak. So, it’s not a shock when this episode ends with Shauni and Eddie marrying and leaving Baywatch.

This was a good way to start the season. Yes, the whole gold mine thing was a bit silly, but it gave David Hasselhoff a chance to do the earnest action hero thing, and it also introduces Pamela Anderson, who—in this episode at least—comes across as being surprisingly natural and down-to-earth in the role of CJ.

Next week, Matt goes undercover and meets even more new characters!