Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.11 “1-800-Crushed”

Posted on July 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Zack becomes Nitro!

Episode 2.11 “1-800 Crushed”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 17th, 1990)

“Hello, mate. It’s me, Nitro!”

Uhmm …. hi, Nitro. Why do you sound like Zack Morris?

Because Zack is Nitro!

In this episode, Zack decides that the best way to become a millionaire would be to wait for his parents to die so he can inherit their money…. no, actually, he decides to start a teen advice line and charge everyone $2.00 per call. He recruits Lisa to provide advice and Screech to …. hang out. I don’t know what Screech is doing there, to be honest.

Lisa takes most of the calls but, whenever she gets wrapped up (“Not now, Zack, I’m talking to a girl who hates shopping!”), Zack mans the lines. Because he doesn’t want anyone to know that he came up with the stupid idea of starting the Teenline, he calls himself Nitro and speaks with what I guess is meant to be an Australian accent.

Unfortunately, Lisa solves everyone’s problems and the phones strop ringing. Zack fires her and then he and Screech proceed to give everyone bad advice. Soon, the entire school is on edge. Even worse, Zack tells Kelly’s never-before seen little sister Nikki (Laura Mooney-Hubbert) that she should do whatever it takes to win the man of her dreams.

“Mrs. Zack Morris,” Nikki dreamingly responds.

Later, when both Kelly and Nikki call the Teenline at the same time, Zack gets confused as to who is on which line and he tells Kelly to dump her boyfriend and he tells Nikki that she’s the only girl for him.

Bayside is in chaos and only Mr. Belding can fix things. After an art class descends into chaos, Belding tells Zack, “My school will be a happy school or else.” Bye bye, Teenline!

But what about Nikki? Zack dresses up like a nerd and meets her at the Max. He says that he likes insects. Nikki likes them too! Finally, Zack confesses that he likes Kelly. Nikki tells Zack that he’s a loser for not being honest to begin with and she has a point. Kelly, wearing a blonde wig, overhears the whole conversation and takes Zack back. Nothing’s more romantic than dating a pathological liar, I guess.

This episode …. actually, I like this episode. It’s a good example of what Saved By The Bell occasionally got right. It’s a silly story that focuses on the chemistry between Zack & Kelly and Slater & Jessie and it does so without getting too preachy. This episode is lightweight and cheerfully shallow and exactly what you want from Saved By The Bell.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.10 “A Matter of Trust”

Posted on July 21, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.

This week, it’s all for charity!

Episode 2.10 “A Matter of Trust”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 8th, 1994)

Oh crap, it’s another country club episode.

It’s time for the annual charity event! The male employees of the club are auctioned off to various women bidders so that they can compete together in a contest. The winning team gets a hot air balloon ride. Mr. Belding makes it sound like a big deal but it’s hard not to notice that hardly anyone outside of the main group seems to take part. Apparently, this is a charity being funded exclusively by teenagers with summer jobs.

Bobby asks Megan to bid on him because he thinks it’ll make him more attractive to the woman who he hopes will buy him. Instead, Megan bids too much and she wins Bobby.

Lindsay wins her boyfriend, Tommy D. Lindsay is excited but Tommy is worried because he’s scared of heights.

Because Mr. Belding says that Screech has too many responsibilities to be auctioned off, Screech can only watch as his girlfriend, Alison, purchases Brian.

Brian’s girlfriend, Rachel, buys Hubert Dweebly (Mark David) because she feels sorry for him. That’s something that I would definitely do. Hubert then turns out to be a total perv who spends the entire competition pawing Rachel and trying to get her to kiss him. This would perhaps have been funnier if Sarah Lancaster had been older than 14 when she played Rachel.

Anyway, Screech gets jealous and tries to get Brian in trouble so that he can take Brian’s place. And Tommy doesn’t want to win so he tires to help Bobby cheat but everything gets screwed up and Tommy and Lindsay win anyways. It’s a typical Saved By The Bell episode, you can probably already guess everything that happens. Allison turns out to be very forgiving. Allison might not be that smart.

The main problem with this episode is that it asks us to believe that Allison would find needy, uberemotional, shrill-voiced Screech to be in any way attractive. During the second season, Dustin Diamond’s performance was nowhere near as obnoxious as it would eventually get. But his version of Screech was still too cartoonish to be taken seriously. His performance in this episode is …. well, it’s just bad. There’s no other way to put it. You really do find yourself thinking, “Allison and Brian actually make a lot more sense than Allison and Screech.”

It’s funny to me that the first Country Club episode was all about the importance of working hard when you have a job and we haven’t actually seen anyone doing their job since.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.10 “Model Students”

Posted on July 18, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Kelly’s make a life-changing decision …. or does she?

Episode 2.10 “Model Students”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 10th, 1990)

Zack and the Gang take over the school store from the group of “Bayside Nerds” who were running it. Zack decides that a swimsuit calendar — made up of pictures taken by a wetsuit wearing Screech — is the way to build up business. Actually, considering that no one actually gave consent to being photographed, it seems like an even better way to get sued and maybe jailed for stalking.

Anyway, fashion photographer Adam Trask (Greg Keen) somehow sees the calendar and, before anyone can say, “Hey, why were you looking at a calendar full of underage girls?,” he’s offered Kelly a modeling contract. She just has to go to Paris for a few months.

It’s a great opportunity but Zack is scared that he’ll loser her so he conspires to trick her into staying. It doesn’t work but Kelly promises that she’ll be back before he knows it.

And, indeed, she was back in the very next episode.

This episode is a reminder that nothing that happens on Saved By The Bell matters. Kelly goes to Paris to be a model. That sounds like a big deal. It will never be mentioned again. Kelly’s family will continue to struggle financially, despite the fact that the main reason Kelly took the modeling gig was to help her family. As for the student store, don’t ever expect to see that place again. The Gang took it over but I’m going to assume they abandoned it in much the same way they abandoned their radio station.

Saved By The Bell was so silly.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.9 “Jessie’s Song”

Posted on July 11, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Jessie’s so excited!

Episode 2.9 “Jessie’s Song”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 3rd, 1990)

This is it. This is the episode of Saved By The Bell that everyone knows.

Jessie gets hooked on caffeine pills!

“I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so …. SCARED!”

Along with Running Zack, this is the episode that the show will never live down. In a 2o16 interview, Peter Engel stated that the script originally had Jessie getting hooked on amphetamines but NBC said they wouldn’t air the show if there were any references to “hard drugs.” The script was changed to have Jessie get hooked on over-the-counter caffeine pills.

I’m not sure the episode would have played any better if it had featured amphetamines. When I was younger, there were times when I accidentally took more of my ADHD meds than I should have and my behavior was nothing like Jessie’s in this episode. The scene where Jessie starts yelling in the Maxx about how she and Kelly and the show’s Lisa are going to beat out their competition for a record contract can only lead me to conclude that absolutely no one on the show had ever taken speed at any point in their life.

That’s the thing that makes this episode so memorable, though. Everyone remembers Zack waking up Jessie and Jessie screaming, “I’m so excited!” It’s a cringey moment but, honestly, the entire episode is a cringey moment. The only thing about his episode that feels in any way authentic is Mario Lopez’s performance as Slater.

(Seriously, Lopez was this show’s secret weapon. Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Tiffani Thiessen, Elizabeth Berkley, and Lark Voorhies eventually developed into good actors towards the end of the show. Out of respect for the deceased, I won’t comment on Dustin Diamond’s talents. But Mario Lopez was strong and believable from the start of the series.)

How cringey is this episode?

Screech puts on a dress and a wig and speaks with a bad Irish accent and all of the girls in the locker room believe him when he says that he’s related to Sinead O’Connor. “You taught her everything she knows!?” the show’s Lisa exclaims.

Zack is somehow able to produce, in just one day, a professional music video for Jessie, Kelly, and Lisa’s group, Hot Sundae.

That music video — oh God, the music video! It couldn’t be more 80s if it tried. The girls dance while wearing workout outfits and singing. Who wrote the song that they’re singing? Did Zack come up with it? To be honest, the video’s not that bad. It just feels extremely …. suburban. Would there have been room for Hot Sundae in 1990? Probably not. I doubt MTV was going to switch to a grunge, rap, and Hot Sundae format.

What about Jessie’s fantasy about having to go to a party school? Actually, that made me laugh. I went to a party school and I had fun. Plus, Mr. Dewey says “Cowabunga.” Still, as a general rule, any Saved By The Bell fantasy sequence automatically qualifies as cringe.

But, in the end, this will always be the “I’m so excited!” episode. Poor Elizabeth Berkley is probably so sick of people quoting that line to her. In his dubious autobiography, Dustin Diamond poked fun at his co-stars for thinking they were all giving great performances in this episode. As was often the case with Diamond, this judgment says more about his flaws than those of his co-stars. Of course the actors though they were all giving great performances. They were teenagers! They had an excuse for not knowing better. The adults, however….

In the end, Hot Sundae misses its chance for stardom because of Jessie’s freakout. It’s a good thing they’ve all got Zack Attack to fall back on.

I love this episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.8 “Miss Bayside”

Posted on June 27, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Screech is a pawn yet again.

Episode 2.8 “Miss Bayside”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 27th, 1990)

It’s time for the annnual Miss Bayside pageant!

Jessie considers Miss Bayside to be sexist and she tries to organize a boycott. Lisa says “No way.” She wants to be Miss Bayside. Lisa enters and so does Kelly because Kelly’s family is poor and she could really use the extra money that comes from being a beauty queen. Finally, Jessie goes against her pledge not to compete and enters because she wants to teach everyone about inner beauty.

Zack bets Slater that he can make anyone into the next Miss Bayside. Slater takes the bet on the condition that he get to pick the person. And, of course, Slater picks Screech….

Oh, this episode. When I talk about Dustin Diamond being too young to be on this show, this is the sort of epiosde that I’m talking about. While Lisa, Jessie, Kelly, and eventually Slater all come across as being confident and happy while competing for the title of Miss Bayside, Screech looks awkward, embarrassed, and almost troll-like. I’m not even a Screech fan (or a Dustin Diamond fan for that matter, God rest his soul) but even I felt bad for him when he walked out on stage in a 1920s-style bathing suit. While everyone else on the episode was obviously closer to adulthood than childhood (i.e. Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Tiffani Thiessen were both 16, and Elizabeth Berkley and Mario Lopez were both 17), Dustin Diamond was 13 and looked even younger. That gives this entire episode a bit of an icky feel.

Screech does win the pageant. He wins because his robot, Kevin, accidentally gives him a black eye and Zack tells everyone that Slater did it. Screech gets the sympathy vote. Sorry, Lisa. Your dreams don’t matter. Sorry, Kelly. I guess you’re never going to be able to afford college. The importnat thing is that Screech won something that is definitely not going to lead to him being taunted later in life.

Other than Screech’s victory, this episode is remembered for two things. First, Slater absolutely kills it when he plays the drums during the talent competition. Secondly, Mr. Belding sings the Miss Bayside song. Isn’t she he lovely/not even a girl…. It must be said that, judging from this episode, Belding has a terrible singing voice but at least he tries.

Slater should have been Miss Bayside. We all know it.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.7 “The People’s Choice”

Posted on June 23, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Screech becomes a crusading editor.

Episode 2.7 “The People’s Choice”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 1st, 1994)

Feeling underappreciated at the high school, Screech asks to be made faculty advisor of the school paper. With a staff made up of the Gang, Screech rejuvenates the paper. Soon, he is directing an investigation into why there’s no money in the school’s athletic budget for the girl’s swim team to go to state. Could it be because the misogynistic football coach (Brian Reddy) is a embezzling the money so the football team can go on a trip?

Unfortunately, everyone gets so involved in pursuing the story that they neglect their studies and they skip Mr. Belding’s college entrance exam review session! Honestly, college entrance exams are incredibly easy and anyone who needs a review session to do well on them wasn’t going to get into a decent college anyways. Seriously, just blow all that off and go to a party school like I did. GO MEAN GREEN!

Anyway, Screech realizes the error of his ways and puts the newspaper staff through a grueling review session. Everyone does well on their exam. And Screech disguises himself as an old man and tricks the coach into confessing his embezzlement! The coach presumably works with Screech every day so how did he fall for a wig and a fake mustache? Seriously, what is the deal with this show and disguises?

Despite the rather stupid plot, this episode wasn’t that bad. Dustin Diamond actually gave a fairly believable performance as Screech and the ensemble had a good chemistry. I’ll admit that I laughed at Tommy D’s attempts to be a food critic. I bet we never hear about the newspaper again.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.6 “Brian’s Girlfriend”

Posted on June 16, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s a 4th of July episode that aired in September.

Episode 2.6 “Brian’s Girlfriend”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 24th, 1994)

Oh Hell, it’s another country club episode.

The country club is having a tip competition for the 4th of July. Whoever gets the most tips will have their earnings matched by the club. Megan wants to win so she can send her parents on a cruise. (How did Bayside go from being a school full of wealthy trust fund brats to one full of poor people?) Bobby decides to give her all of his tips so she can win. That sounds like cheating to me.

Meanwhile, due to Screech’s stupidity, Mr. Belding ends up with a terrible sunburn. (Screech was supposed to bring the sunscreen but he brought salad dressing instead.) This leads to countless scenes of Screech slapping Belding on the back and causing him agonizing pain. Ha ha, I guess.

Meanwhile, Brian makes Rachel jealous by pretending to like the new tennis instructor (Brittney Powell). She likes him too, even though he’s like 16. When a guilt-stricken Brian finally admits that he was only pretending to like her, the tennis instructor says, “You’re a jerk!” and she’s right. But I guess it doesn’t matter because Brian’s plan works and he and Rachel end up sharing a kiss while watching the 4th of July fireworks.

What type of show airs their 4th of July episode in September?

The country club episodes are so annoying. If I wanted to watch people work, I could just go hang out at Target for 30 minutes.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.6 “Blind Dates”

Posted on June 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Mr. Belding is desperately trying to find someone to date his niece. Meanwhile, Zack is trying to avoid being suspended….

Episode 2.6 “Blind Dates”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 13th, 1990)

Mr. Belding needs someone to go on a blind date with his niece Penny but every guy at the school screams in horror at the idea. However, Zack has just received his tenth detention and is facing the prospect of being suspended for a week. Belding makes Zack an offer that he can’t refuse. If Zack goes on a date with Penny, he won’t be suspended. This sounds like the type of thing that could get Belding fired but instead, Zack agrees to go on the date….

Except Zack already has plans for that night! Kelly is having her birthday party at the Max!

Zack’s solution? Put a blonde wig on Screech and have him take Penny on the date.

I notice that Zack’s solutions always seem to involve Screech pretending to be someone other than Screech. Penny (Jodi Peterson) turns out to be a totally normal girl and she has a great time with Screech when they go to …. Kelly’s birthday party! Of course, Penny thinks Screech is Zack and that Zack is Screech and just writing all of this is making my head hurt. When Kelly finds out that Penny is planning on going home with “Zack,” Kelly calls her “an un-nice person,” which is a pretty neat turn of phrase. But then Kelly learns the truth and, to Slater’s chagrin, Kelly falls even more in love with Zack.

Meanwhile, Jessie freaks out because her blind date, Brett (Timothy Williams), is several inches shorter than her. I have to say that Jessie’s recurring insecurity about being tall was one of the few things that Saved By The Bell consistently handled well. (It certainly handled it better than her later caffeine pill addiction.) Brett was adorable and it was kind of sweet that he eventually won Jessie over just by being a really cool guy.

Jessie’s storyline aside, this is the type of Saved By The Bell episode that drives me crazy. Most of the conflict — actually, all of the conflict — could have been avoided by everyone just not being an idiot. It’s hard to believe that Zack couldn’t come up with a solution to his problems that didn’t involve putting a blonde wig on Screech. I get that Belding was desperate to find a date for Penny but the idea that he would turn to Zack, even under the most extreme of circumstances, seemed like a reach.

Probably the funniest moment in this episode was when Zack learned he had received his tenth detention and everyone in the studio audience groaned. Don’t worry, folks. Zack will be okay!

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.5 “Squash It”

Posted on June 9, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hey, it’s time for yet another school carnival!

Episode 2.5 “Squash It”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 25th, 1994)

Because no one at this school actually has to go to class or anything, it’s time for the annual Bayside carnival! Who will win the prize for best booth?

Will it be Tommy and Lindsay’s kissing booth? Neither Tommy nor Lindsay are happy about the idea of either one of them kissing anyone else. So why did they agree to a kissing booth in the first place?

Will it be Rachel and Brian’s dunk tank? When Belding comes down with a cold, Brian takes Belding’s place as the dunkee. Everyone wants to dunk Brian because he’s spent a week deliberately insulting everyone. However, Brian has rigged the tank so he won’t fall in the water. “You forgot to release the safety!” Belding says, not realizing that there’s a reason for that. Uh-oh. Soon, Brian is soaked and the audience is saying, “Woooo!”

Will it be Megan and Bobby’s mind-reading booth? Let’s hope not because that’s really dumb. Bobby also has to remove his mind-reading turban so he can fight a bully. Fortunately, Screech has taught him karate!

I know this all sounds terrible but this is actually a pretty cute episode. Instead of being Screech-centered, this episode actually allows every member of the cast to have at least one moment to shine. (I hate to keep pointing this out but the season 2 cast has a far more appealing chemistry than the season 1 cast.) Even Screech teaching Bobby karate is amusing. There’s nothing subtle about Dustin Diamond’s performance but, for once, the broad humor actually works. Add to that, Bobby learns how to fight but then he chooses not to. Hey, that’s actually a good lesson, even if it is a bit anticlimatic.

We never learn who wins the Best Booth prize. I would have given it to Brian and Rachel. They’re a cute couple, even if they’re not technically dating. (It also helps if you don’t think about the fact that there was a 8 year age-difference between the actors.)

All in all, this was a good episode. I’m as shocked as anyone.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.5 “House Party”

Posted on May 30, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Screech’s parents are gone. It’s time to party like Elvis!

Episode 2.5 “House Party”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 6th, 1990)

Mrs. Powers (Ruth Buzzi) and her husband go to Graceland for their anniversary, leaving Screech alone for a few days. It’s time to have the boys over so that they can lip-sync to the Beach Boys! Unfortunately, when the girls come over to laugh at the boys, a bust of Elvis is shattered. It’ll cost $250 to replace! Despite the fact that all of the main characters — with the exception of Kelly and Slater — come from wealthy families, everyone claims to not have any money. You know who does have money? Max Nerdstrom (Jeff Asch)! Max also has a girlfriend named Violet (Tori Spelling), who has a crush on Screech. (Or Samuel, as she calls him.)

This is an important episode in the history of Saved By The Bell, in that it not only introduces us to Violet Bickerstaff but it also establishes that Tori Spelling was bad actress even before she was cast on 90210. (If anything, Spelling is actually better-cast as Violet than as Donna Martin because Violet was at least supposed to be awkward and cringey.) This episode also introduced us to Max Nerdstrom, a great character who only appeared once but who should have been a regular member of the cast. That said, it’s also obvious that the only reason this episode was made was so Slater, Screech, and Zack could do the Barbara Ann scene. It’s all pretty obviously ripped off from Risky Business, just without the prostitutes and Tangerine Dream soundtrack.

How to raise the money to replace the statue? Zack challenged Max to a poker game and ends up losing not only another $250 but also the Powers family dog. If Zack had $250 to lose in a poker game, how come he didn’t have it to buy a new Elvis? Seriously, don’t try to follow Bayside logic. Jessie has to go on a date with Max in order to get the dog bac and Zack throws a party to raise money for the new statue. Mrs. Powers arrives home early and announces that she told Screech that he wasn’t allowed to throw any parties. Zack announces that it’s a surprise anniversary party for Mrs. Powers and her husband (who is apparently just sitting out in the car while all this is going on). Why would a bunch of teenagers throw an anniversary party for a 50-something Elvis fan?

Bayside logic, baby!

It still a cute episode.