Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Zack loses his favorite duck.

Episode 3.9 “Pipe Dreams”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 26th, 1991)

Oil’s been discovered on Bayside’s football field!  Smarmy Dan Grayson (Gary Lahti) offers Bayside a lot of money for the right to drill on the field.  Almost all of the students fantasize about going to rich school despite the fact that, with the exception of Kelly, it’s been established that they’re all already rich and that Bayside has been a rich school for a while.  I’m not sure why the students think that they would be getting any of the money.  And why is it up to the principal to decide whether or not to allow drilling.  It seems like that should be up to the county supervisors.

But what about the never before mentioned pond behind the football field!?  When the inevitable oil spill happens, Zack’s favorite duck Becky is killed.  “She’s where the oil can’t hurt her anymore,” Screech says.  It looks like it’s time for Zack to crash Mr. Grayson’s presentation and spray oil on him.  “I’m covered in oil!” Mr. Grayson shouts.  It’s easy to make your point when your opponent is cartoonishly evil.

You probably already guessed that this is not my favorite episode.  It’s just so cartoonishly heavy-handed and the idea that Zack’s simplistic presentation was enough to convince everyone not to drill for oil was borderline insulting.  If there’s oil underneath the football field and money to be made by drilling for it, someone’s going to do it.  No one is going to care whether Zack approves or not.

My favorite moment is when Slater calls out Jessie for wearing clothing and accessories that aren’t environmentally-friendly.  Seriously, Jessie is always a little bit too self-righteous for me.  Personally, I would have agreed to let the company drill for the oil but only after they found a new pond for all of the turtles and ducks.

Poor Becky.