Horror Series Review: Salem’s Lot (by Tobe Hooper & Paul Monash)


“Open the window, Mark.” — Danny Glick

A town doesn’t have to look sinister to be hiding something rotten. That idea gives Tobe Hooper’s 1979 Salem’s Lot much of its staying power. Sure, there’s a creepy old house overlooking the neighborhood, but the real trouble settles into places that should feel reassuring: bedrooms, family homes, and familiar streets. Adapted from Stephen King’s novel, the miniseries turns an ordinary community into a feeding ground without losing sight of what made it ordinary in the first place. It’s uneven, occasionally stiff, and unmistakably a television production, yet its best moments deliver the sort of unease that expensive effects can’t guarantee.

The story begins with novelist Ben Mears, played by David Soul, returning to Jerusalem’s Lot, Maine. He’s drawn back partly by disturbing memories of the Marsten House, a property that seems to concentrate the town’s darkness. Unfortunately, antiques dealer Richard Straker and his mysterious partner, Kurt Barlow, have taken an interest in the place, too. Their arrival coincides with disappearances, illnesses, and deaths that suggest something worse than local bad luck. It’s familiar vampire territory, but familiarity works in its favor. We recognize the warning signs while the characters struggle to explain them away, creating tension between what the audience suspects and what the town will believe.

Hooper takes his time getting everyone into position, which is both a strength and a frustration. The early stretches contain plenty of conversation and everyday business before the supernatural threat becomes impossible to ignore. Some scenes could move faster, and a few supporting characters seem more interesting in principle than in practice. Still, the buildup matters. King’s novel isn’t simply about a vampire turning up; it’s about an entire town becoming vulnerable to him. The miniseries cannot reproduce the book’s full social landscape, but it establishes enough relationships and routines to make the destruction feel like more than a body count.

The town also isn’t an innocent paradise suddenly spoiled by an outside monster. Secrets, resentments, and unpleasant impulses already exist beneath its respectable surface. The vampires don’t invent those weaknesses so much as exploit them. This is an important part of King’s novel to preserve, and the adaptation gets the idea across even when individual subplots feel abbreviated. The Marsten House may be the obvious symbol of evil, but it doesn’t exist in isolation. Its presence above the town suggests a darkness everyone can see and would rather leave alone. That indifference makes the setting more interesting than a collection of unsuspecting victims.

Soul provides a steady center as Ben, even if his restrained performance sometimes borders on flatness. He’s convincing as a man returning to unfinished emotional business, and his seriousness keeps the increasingly bizarre events grounded. There’s little danger of him making the material feel campy. His reserve occasionally creates distance, though, especially when the story needs a stronger emotional response. Ben works best as an observer forced into action, someone whose interest in haunted history becomes considerably less comfortable once it stops behaving like material for a book. Soul conveys that shift more effectively than the warmer aspects of the character.

The romance with Susan Norton, played by Bonnie Bedelia, is less satisfying. Their relationship offers a glimpse of the life Ben might build in town, giving him something to move toward rather than simply something to investigate. That’s useful, but the scenes don’t always generate enough warmth to make the possibility compelling. Bedelia brings an appealing directness to Susan, yet the relationship can feel emotionally hurried even when the surrounding story moves slowly. You understand why it belongs without becoming invested in every exchange. A stronger connection would have given the supernatural threat a more painful personal dimension.

Lance Kerwin makes a livelier impression as Mark Petrie, a horror-loving kid whose interests become unexpectedly practical. Mark could have been a convenient walking instruction manual, but Kerwin gives him enough vulnerability to avoid that trap. He recognizes the danger without becoming immune to it. There’s also something satisfying about a character who takes the evidence seriously rather than endlessly refusing to accept it. His imagination helps him understand the situation, but it doesn’t make everything manageable. That distinction captures something essential about King’s treatment of childhood: knowing what the monster is can help you survive, but it won’t stop you from being terrified.

James Mason is the cast’s great weapon. As Straker, he brings such controlled unpleasantness that a polite conversation can feel like a threat. His calm suggests someone completely comfortable with things everyone else would find horrifying. Is he being dismissive, quietly amused, or openly contemptuous? Often, the answer seems to be all three. Mason gives the production authority whenever he appears, making civilized behavior look like something a predator has learned to imitate. He’s particularly effective because he doesn’t strain for menace. The performance lets us sense the cruelty beneath the manners without constantly dragging it into view.

That elegance becomes especially important because Barlow departs sharply from the novel. King’s vampire can speak, manipulate, and present a recognizable personality. Hooper and actor Reggie Nalder instead give us a largely silent creature, leaving Straker to handle the smooth conversation. Readers who miss the original Barlow have a fair argument: something is lost when an articulate villain becomes primarily a physical menace. Onscreen, though, the decision pays off. With his bald head, pointed ears, and jutting teeth, this Barlow recalls Nosferatu rather than a charming drawing-room vampire. He looks fundamentally unwelcome, and Hooper limits his appearances enough to keep that impression potent.

Even so, Barlow isn’t responsible for the miniseries’ most haunting imagery. That honor belongs to the children floating outside bedroom windows. These sequences create a nasty collision of recognition and wrongness: the face is familiar, but its position, movement, and expression are not. The glass offers protection, yet the request to be let inside makes that protection uncertain. Hooper turns the instinct to welcome someone you know into something dangerous. The possibility that affection might defeat caution makes these scenes more troubling than a straightforward attack. They threaten not only physical safety but the trust that makes a home feel secure.

The windows themselves are wonderfully simple horror devices. They let the characters see the danger while leaving them exposed to its attention. A wall would conceal it; an open doorway would admit it. The glass suspends the scene between those possibilities, stretching out the question of whether the barrier will hold. Mist and unnatural movement complete the effect without requiring elaborate explanations. Almost everyone understands the feeling of being awake in a dark room, looking toward a window and wishing something more substantial separated inside from outside. Hooper takes that common vulnerability and gives it a face.

Moments like these make the television restrictions feel less like a handicap than a challenge Hooper knows how to use. Without relying on graphic violence, he builds horror through faces, shadows, sound, and timing. The production doesn’t always escape its limitations: some exchanges feel conventional, transitions can be abrupt, and the pacing occasionally stalls. But the ordinary interiors also help establish the world being invaded. These look like rooms where people eat dinner, argue, and sleep. The adaptation sacrifices some of the novel’s complexity, thinning supporting characters and narrowing the town’s communal collapse, yet preserves the frightening contrast between everyday surroundings and impossible events.

What finally makes Salem’s Lot worth returning to isn’t perfect fidelity or flawless pacing. It’s the way Hooper understands what the vampires take away before they take anyone’s life: the ability to trust familiar surroundings and familiar faces. King explores that collapse more deeply, but the miniseries preserves its central nightmare with remarkable force. Its quieter stretches give the horror somewhere recognizable to live, and its strongest images make that recognition uncomfortable. By the end, the town’s comforting routines have become part of the trap. For a production working within network television’s boundaries, that’s an impressive achievement—and a more lasting scare than extra blood would have provided.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 1.20 “Rainy Day”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

What would CHiPs be like without motorcycles?  We’re about to find out.

Episode 1.20 “Rainy Day”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on March 2nd, 1978)

While riding his motorcycle on the California highway, Baker groans as he feels a drop of water.  He tells Ponch that it’s going to rain and the two of them are going to end up getting stuck in a patrol car.

“It’s only sprinkling!” Ponch replies.

One jump cut later and Ponch and Baker are trapped in the middle of a downpour.  Despite the heavy rain and the fact that they’re getting soaked, they still manage to save a teacher after a car swerves on the slick road and hits her school bus.  (Apparently, in 1978, teachers also had to drive the school buses.)  The teacher is young and attractive so, of course, Ponch tells her that she and her students can drop by the station and see him any time that they want.

As for the rain, it turns out that Baker was right.  After giving them a hard time about their wet uniforms (and not even bothering to acknowledge that those uniforms got wet while Baker and Ponch were saving someone’s life), Getraer assigns them to a patrol car for the day.  It’s a new patrol car so Getraer warns them not to get a scratch on it.  Usually, I can kind of understand why Getraer is a bit weary of Ponch but, in this episode, the guy’s just a jerk about everything.

You can probably already guess what the main problem with this episode is.  The appeal of CHiPs, at least from what I’ve seen so far, is that it features a lot of exciting motorcycle stunts.  Chase scenes involving motorcycles are fun to watch because motorcycles can go extremely fast and they can weave in-and-out of traffic.  The show works best when Ponch and Baker are on their motorcycles.  This episodes put them in a bulky, slow-moving squad car.  Even stuck in the car, Ponch and Baker manage to catch a car thief and they put an end to an illegal gambling casino that’s been hidden inside of an RV.  But it really doesn’t matter because they’re in a squad car.  There’s nothing exciting about a squad car.

And yes, the squad car does get trashed, specifically while Ponch and Baker are chasing a degenerate gambler (Herb Edelman) who was seeking revenge against the RV casino.  Getraer is not happy about the damage to the car, despite the fact that there really wasn’t any way to avoid it and Ponch and Baker managed to prevent a lot of people from getting injured.  Fortunately, Officer Grossman (Paul Linke) accidentally backs into the squad car, leaving it ambiguous as to who is responsible for what damage.  Getraer will just have to get mad at everyone, I guess.

I love the rain so I did appreciate the fact that this episode featured a lot of it.  But otherwise, the whole thing just felt off.  I don’t care how wet it is outside.  Baker and Ponch just do not belong in a car.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 1.9 “Trouble My Lovely/The Common Man”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Smiles, everyone, smiles!

Episode 1.9 “Trouble, My Lovely/The Common Man”

(Directed by Cliff Bole, originally aired on April 1st, 1978)

This week’s episode of Fantasy Island opens, as most of them do, with Mr. Roarke sharing a few words with Tattoo before they leave to meet the plane.  This week, Roarke is surprised to find that Tattoo wearing a turban.  Tattoo has decided that there is money to be made in being a phony mind reader.

Roarke shakes his head dismissively and then it’s off to meet the latest visitors to Fantasy Island.  Unfortunately, the fantasies that follow are so boring that you’ll find yourself wishing that Roarke had spent more time talking to Tattoo.

Don Knotts plays a Stanley Schecktler, a claims adjustor who dreams of being a hard-boiled private investigator.  He gets his wish and soon finds himself in a noirish version of Los Angeles.  Stanley is hired by Ivy Chandler (Lynda Day George) to investigate the man who is blackmailing her daughter, Peggy (Pamela Jean Bryant).  Like all good detectives, Stanley narrates the story.

Eventually, Stanley finds himself investigating an actual murder!  Mr. Roarke and Tattoo shows up to inform Stanley that his fantasy is potentially deadly.  They offer to refund his money.  (Tattoo says that he rarely ever refunds money so I guess Tattoo is the Island’s business manager.  I know that’s been mentioned in a few previous episodes but I still find it hard to believe, considering how little respect Roarke seems to have for Tattoo.)  Stanley, however, is determined to solve the murder.  This leads to Tattoo, who has switched his turban for a fedora, giving Stanley one important piece of advice:

This fantasy had potential.  What film lover hasn’t fantasized about being a character in a film noir?  Unfortunately, the execution was lacking, with the majority of the comedic lines falling flat.  Don Knotts has a few funny moments as the detective but the story itself never finds the right balance between comedy and noir.

That said, at least there was an unexpected twist to the detective fantasy.  The show’s other fantasy was not only lame but also kind of annoying.  Bernie Kopell, who was so likable as Doc Bricker on The Love Boat, is far less likable as a wimpy family man who comes to Fantasy Island with one request.  He wants Mr. Roarke to be a terrible host so that he can stand up to him and win the respect of his family.  Seriously, that’s the entire fantasy!

Sorry, dude, but you deserve to get treated like a schmo for having pay thousands of dollar just to get your family to look up to you.  This guy spent a lot of money to have a fantasy on Fantasy Island that he could get for free just by taking his family out to Denny’s and demanding to see the manager.  Seriously, this whole fantasy was a bit pointless but at least Tattoo got to try out his mind reading tricks when he and Mr. Roarke came across the Kopell sitting at the bar.

Oh well!  Not every fantasy can be a winner.  Hopefully, next week will be better.

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: Lisa (dir by Gary Sherman)


 

So, here’s the thing about Lisa, a horror-thriller from 1990 that shows up occasionally on This TV.

It’s got a great title.

Seriously, this film has got one of the greatest titles of all time. I would almost say that you really don’t even have to pay attention to the movie because the title itself is so perfect that the plot doesn’t even matter.  The only thing that would make this title even better would be if they had added a “Marie” to the end of it but oh well.  You can’t have everything.

This is a movie about a girl named Lisa and, speaking as a girl named Lisa, I have to say that it’s incredibly true to life.  Lisa (Staci Keanan) is a smart and amazingly talented 14 years old and not alllowed to date by her incredibly overprotective mother, Katherine (Cheyl Holland).  So, instead of dating, Lisa spends her time stalking a serial killer.  See, Katherine thought she was protecting her daughter but instead, she’s only inspired her to take an even greater risk.  That’s why you need to let the Lisas in your life do what they want.

Admittedly, Lisa doesn’t know that Richard (D.W. Moffett) is a serial killer.  She doesn’t even know that he owns a successful restaurant.  All she knows is that he looks like a model and he drives a nice car and it’s fun to follow him around Venice Beach.  When she jots down his license plate numbers, she hacks the DMV to get his name, address, and phone number.  Soon, Lisa is calling him up and having flirtatious conversations with him.

 

It’s all good fun, except for the fact that Richard is also known as The Candelight Killer and he’s got a thing about calling people and leaving them messages right before he kills them.  It’s all very ritualized.  For instance, it’s very important that his victims be in the process of listening to his message when he kills them.  To be honest, though, that sounds like he’s taking a lot of risks.  I mean, what if someone came home and didn’t immediately check their messages?  Would Richard just have to hide behind the drapes for hours until the did?  Of course, Richard would be even more out of luck if this movie were made today because who has an answering machine anymore?

Anyway, Richard is obsessed with discovering who is stalking him and Katherine is obsessed with keeping Lisa out of danger and Lisa just wants to actually be allowed to full celebrate having the greatest name ever.  Did you know, for instance, that Lisa may have started out as a shortened form of Elizabeth but that it became so popular on its own that it was one of the most popular names in both the United States and the United Kingdom for several decades?  And, even though it’s no longer in the top ten as far as names are concerned, being named Lisa is still one of the greatest honors that can be bestowed upon anyone?  Lisa means God’s Promise by the way.  And….

 

What?  Oh yeah, the movie.

Well, anyway, it all leads to pretty much what you’re expecting it to lead to.  Plotwise, the movie may be predictable but the Staci Keanan, Cheryl Ladd, and D.W. Moffett all gives good performances and director Gary Sherman keeps the action moving at a steady pace.  It’s dumb but entertaining, kinda like cinematic junk food.  Plus, it has a great title.  What more do you need?