Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Who cares?

Episode 5.5 “Silicon Valley of the Dolls”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on August 15th, 1999)

In order to finance plastic surgery for their girlfriends, teenage boys are stealing cars and burglarizing homes.  Plastic surgeon Barry Brockwood (Scott Bryce) has built a successful practice by performing surgery on teenagers but, when one of them dies during the procedure, he dumps her body on the beach and tries to make it appear as if she fell victim to a serial killer.  Granger and Monica go undercover — *sigh* this again! — as high school students while Cory goes undercover as the new sex education teacher.

I’m glad I’m on the final season of this show because I’m running out of ways to say that it sucks.  For what seems like the hundredth time, I will point out that these people are supposed to be BICYCLE COPS!  Why are they constantly going undercover?  Add to that, Granger and Monica have gone undercover as teenagers so many times that you would expect that every juvenile criminal in California would recognize them by now.  This episode ends with the cops arresting the plastic surgeon and then joking about how he’s going to get raped in prison.

On the plus side, Scott Bryce was always an entertainingly unhinged villain.  He gave it his all in this episode and the show really didn’t deserve it,