Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 5.11 “The Inner Limits”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark are speech therapists.

Episode 5.11 “The Inner Limits”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on July 21st, 1989)

George (Tim Choate) has spent years speechless and paralyzed.  However, after George’s brother, Paul (Joseph Culp), has a chance meeting with speech therapist Jonathan Smith, it is discovered that George is actually a genius who can communicate through blinking and who hopes to write a book.  Paul goes from wanting to move out of his childhood home and into an apartment with his girlfriend, Jessica (Lorie Griffin) to feeling like he has a duty to spend the rest of his life helping his mother (Julianna McCarthy) take care of George.

I’ve been crying a lot this year.  I lost my Dad in 2024.  Exactly one year later, I lost the aunt who helped to raise me when I was a child.  I didn’t really get a chance to mourn my Dad because I immediately became one of my aunt’s caregivers.  I thought that if I couldn’t save my Dad from Parkinson’s, I could at least save my aunt from Alzheimer’s.  After my aunt passed, I threw myself into the holidays and I dealt with my emotions by buying lots of presents for other people.  It’s only now, in the light of 2026, that it’s all truly hitting me.  I cry very easily right now and I cried while watching this episode.  There’s a sincerity and earnestness to Highway to Heaven that gets to me, despite how corny the show could sometimes be.

That said, this episode had the same flaws as most of season 5’s episodes.  Jonathan and Mark were only in a few scenes and the majority of the episode was carried by Joseph Culp and Julianna McCarthy, both of whom tended to overact during their big emotional scenes.  Culp eventually won me over but McCarthy’s performance was so theatrical and over-the-top that it really did take you out of the story.

That said, I did cry.  Would I have cried if I wasn’t currently in mourning?  I think I would have, actually.  The final shot of a young boy reading George’s book while sitting in a wheelchair earned those tears.  We never really know how many people we help, do we?

 

 

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.24 “Saturday Lost”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey learns about the dangers of reefer!

Episode 1.24 “Saturday Lost”

(Dir by Stuart Rosenberg, originally aired on March 24th, 1958)

Casey and her partner-of-the-week (played by Simon Oakland) are investigating the death of Geraldine “Geri” Wilson, a quiet and studious college student who was found dead on the side of the road after attending a college football game with her sister, Beth (Barbara Lord).  Beth, who couldn’t even remember her own name when she was first found the morning after, isn’t much of a witness.  She can’t remember what happened that night but, as she and Casey sit in one Geri’s old hangouts, she recognizes Ken Davidson (Larry Hagman), a student who was with them at the football game.  Beth remembers that Ken and Geri had a fight.

The stunned Ken says that he had no reason to kill Geri.

Casey replies, “Marijuana gave you a reason!”

Casey has figured out, from listening to the way the spacey Beth talks, that Beth and Geri smoked “reefer” the night of the football game.  Casey is convinced that, in a marijuana-crazed state, Ken tossed Geri out of the car.  To help jog Beth’s memory, she has her partner drive Beth, Ken, and Casey along the same route where Geri’s body was found.

“Where did you get the reefers, sonny!?” Casey demands of Ken.

Beth suddenly remembers that she’s the one who bought the marijuana.  Beth says that it only cost a dollar and that Ken himself didn’t indulge.  Instead, it was just Beth and Geri who got stoned.  Beth was driving when Geri opened the car door and fell out.  “Faster!  Faster!” Beth says, a line that immediately brings to mind the 30s anti-drug film, Reefer Madness.

(Why wasn’t Ken driving if he was the only one who wasn’t stoned?)

Back at police headquarters, Casey looks at the camera and tell us that the case has been dismissed.  However, Beth will never forget that her sister died because Beth bought “reefer.”

Beverly Garland is, as always, excellent and a young Larry Hagman does well as Ken.  But Barbara Lord overacts to such an extent that you really find yourself wondering if maybe she actually popped a bunch of amphetamines as opposed to smoking weed.  Indeed, Beth and Geri’s story would be plausible with a lot of different drugs but it’s not particularly plausible with marijuana.  There’s also a rather bizarre cameo from a young William Hickey (you’ll recognize the voice), playing a hipster who spouts a lot of nonsense.  If anything, Hickey’s hipster comes across as if he’d be more likely to know where to get weed on campus than Ken but Casey just lets him wander off.  In the end, this episode feels like a version of the urban legend about the girl who walked into an airplane propeller because she took too many pills.

Larry Hagman, I should mention, was a proud member of the Hollywood counter-culture and was very open about his own use of marijuana.  (Apparently, he was introduced to it by Jack Nicholson, who felt it would help Hagman cut back on his drinking.)  I wonder if anyone ever asked him about this episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 3.7 “Mutiny on the Bull Team”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Things aren’t looking too good for the Bulls!

Episode 3.7 “A Mutiny on the Bull Team”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 7th, 1987)

After a terrible start to the season (back-to-back losses!), TD tells Coach Grier that he needs to do something to get the team back into championship shape.  Coach Grier launches an intensive training regimen and he posts a list of rules in the locker room — no beer in the locker room, players must shave for game day, and a bunch of other things.  The players rebel and, during the next game, they stop running the plays that Grier wants.  TD confronts Grier and demands to know what’s going on.  Grier says that he just did what TD told him to do.  TD says that he didn’t tell Grier to become a dictator even though that is kind of what TD told him to do.

Really, “reign of terror?”  Coach Grier is like in his 60s and he’s fat and out of shape.  The football players are …. well, football players.  What exactly is TD Parker saying?  It’s hard to say.  OJ Simpson delivers all of his lines in the same amiable and bland manner that he used when he said he would devote his life to searching for the real killers.  It’s hard to know what TD is thinking.

Anyway, Grier realizes the errors of his ways and the Bulls win the game!  So, TD doesn’t have to cut anyone from the team.  He can put away his knife for now.  Everyone in the locker room should be breathing a sigh of relief.

Meanwhile, Yinessa and new owner Jill Schrader struggle with their feelings for each other.  In the end, Yinessa kisses Jill in the stadium parking lot so I guess they decided to forget about the whole “We have to maintain a professional separation” thing.

One final note: Last week’s episode featured Delta Burke swearing that she was going to reclaim ownership of the Bulls.  But, with this episode, Burke is no longer listed in the opening credits so I guess that storyline is over with.  Jill is now the owner.  Good!  Maybe the Bulls will finally win a championship.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.12 “Dee Dee’s Dilemma/Julie’s Blind Date/The Prize Winner”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

Episode 7.12 “Dee Dee’s Dilemma/Julie’s Blind Date/The Prize Winner”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on December 3rd, 1983)

A detective (Don Gordon) tells Isaac and Gopher that he suspects a woman named Doris will be boarding the boat.  She’s supposed to testify in a high-profile divorce case and she’s been dodging the process servers.  The detective mentions that there’s a reward for turning Doris in.  That definitely get Gopher and Isaac’s attention.

And Doris (Markie Post) is on the boat!  Except she is pretending to be a teenager named Dee Dee and she’s speaking in an annoying squeaky voice.  Jerry Howard (Clark Brandon) meets Dee Dee and develops a crush on her.  Meanwhile, Jerry’s father, Phil (Geoffrey Scott), meets Doris and develops a crush of his own!  In the end, Doris falls in love with Phil and Jerry …. well, Jerry gets his heart broken but he claims not to care.  Phil is amused.  As for the divorce case, it’s settled so Doris doesn’t have to testify after all!

(And no, there’s no reward for Isaac and Gopher.  In fact, Stubing threatens to fire them.)

While that’s going on, author Daniel Baker (Tom Poston) wants to enjoy a romantic cruise with his wife (Abby Dalton) but he’s being blackmailed by his assistant, Wendy  (Leslie Easterbrook).  Wendy knows that Daniel plagiarized sections of his book and she threatens to reveal the truth unless Daniel has an affair with her.  This is one of those storylines that would have worked better if some different casting choices had been made.  As it is, noted sex symbol Tom Poston feels miscast.

Finally, Julie has a blind date boarding the boat.  He turns out to be a nerdy, overweight guy named Leonard Gluck (Walter Olkewicz).  Julie has nothing in common with Leonard and is planning on dumping him.  But then Leonard dumps her first and Julie has a crisis of confidence.  This story had the potential to reveal a new side of Julie but, in the end, Leonard revealed that he only dumped Julie to make her like him and Julie’s confidence was restored, along with her rule about not dating fat guys.

This was not a great cruise.  It took me two minutes to get sick of Dee Dee’s voice.  Oh well — not every trip can be a winner!

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.18 “Caretakers”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bicycle cops go after pharmaceutical smugglers.

Episode 3.18 “Caretakers”

(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on March 8th, 1998)

This week, a drug company is smuggling and distributing black market pharmaceuticals.  Leslie Jordan plays Bo, the crazy man who lives in a storage unit and who has figured out what the company is doing.  When he gets shot in the back, Chris feels guilty because she refused to listen to his ramblings earlier.  After undergoing hypnosis to search for clues as to who shot Bo, Chris goes undercover as a potential drug buyer.  It always amuses me whenever any member of the bike patrol goes undercover.  None of them are capable of not coming across as being a cop and that’s especially true in Chris’s case.  Everything from the way they talk to the way they glare at everyone to the way they stand just a little bit too rigidly screams, “Cop!”  And yet the criminals never seem to catch on.

Meanwhile, Victor’s mother is deathly ill and needs some drugs to save her life.  Luckily, the local priest has connections.  But can Victor set aside whatever his issue is with the church?  Does anyone care?  I mean, I’m glad that Victor’s mom is alive at the end of the episode but Victor isn’t that interesting of a character.

We are three season into Pacific Blue and none of the characters are really interesting enough to carry the show.  Even the lifeguards on Baywatch had more personality than the members of the bike patrol.  The main thing that I’ll remember about this episode is that, even when they were keeping an eye on Chris working undercover, the cops all brought their bicycles.

The important thing is that Leslie Jordan survives his injuries.  At the end of the episode, TC locks Chris in the Bo’s storage unit so that she’ll be forced to listen to his conspiracy theories.  I guess TC’s okay with not getting any for a month.

I’d like this show better if the rode motorcycles.

 

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 1.8 “Belding’s Baby”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week’s episode is so annoying.

Episode 1.8 “Belding’s Baby”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 30th, 1993)

Ugh, this episode.

First off, I totally forgot that Mr. and Mrs. Belding named their son after Zack Morris.  They did this because, during the original series, Zack helped deliver his namesake when he and Mrs. Belding ended up trapped in an elevator.  While that was nice of Zack to do, I still have to wonder at the logic of naming your son after an unrepentant sociopath.

Anyway, Mr. Belding needs help looking after baby Zack.  Scott volunteers to babysit him in order to get out of detention.  Scott and the gang take baby Zack to the movies.  Scott meets a girl named Ashley (Katy Barnhill), whose mother is a baby photographer who is seeking models.  So, Scott pretends to be Zack Belding’s older brother and he and his friends try to get Baby Zack to the studio without Mr. Belding figuring things out.  But when Belding takes his son to the Maxx, Weasel and Vicki have to dress up as Mr. Belding’s parents and….

Ugh, this is stupid.

It’s not even stupid in an amusing way.  Scott lies about being Zack’s brother.  There was absolutely no reason for Scott to lie.  Ashley liked Scott from the start so Scott could have just said he was babysitting.  For that matter, Mr. Belding could have hired a babysitter instead of entrusting his baby to the least responsible students in the entire school.  This whole thing could have been straightened out by everyone not being an idiot.  That’s not funny.  It’s just annoying.

Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Also, we are eight episodes and Tommy D is still saying things to Scott like, “I’m impressed, kid,” as if he hasn’t known Scott for half of the school year already.  And why does it matter if Tommy’s impressed?  Tommy doesn’t ever do anything.  He’s not a schemer.  He just stands around and smiles.  I imagine everyone impresses Tommy.

Dumb, dumb episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.12 “Mitchell & Woods”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week …. hey, what is this!?

Episode 5.12 “Mitchell & Woods”

(Dir by Bernard L. Kowalski, originally aired on December 18th, 1981)

Paula Woods (Jayne Kennedy) and Melanie Mitchell (Cindy Morgan) may have once just been two members of the highway patrol who were trained by Ponch but they’ve now been promoted to working as plainclothes detectives in Ocean City!

“Look out Ocean City!” Jon Baker says.

When an old high school friend of Michell’s is murdered, Mitchell and Woods uncover a male prostitution ring.  Along with bringing the guilty to justice, they also help Chickee (Pamela Susan Shoop) find the courage to leave her abusive relationship….

No, there’s not much motorcycle action.  No, there’s no slow motion car crashes.  Yes, this is an episode of CHiPs.  Well, kind of.

It’s actually a backdoor pilot for a show about Mitchell and Woods.  Ponch and Baker show up at the start of the show to wish Mitchell and Woods luck.  Ponch and Baker return halfway through the show so that Ponch can tell Mitchell and Woods about an informant named Avrom (Tony Burton).  And, finally, Ponch and Baker return at the end of the episode and give our erstwhile detectives a parking ticket.

Backdoor pilots at the worst!  You’re all prepared to spend 40 minutes with people you know and suddenly, a bunch of new folks show up and start demanding your attention.  It doesn’t help that Mitchell & Woods is a terrible pilot and I’m not really surprised that it didn’t become an actual series.  Can Mitchell and Woods prove that woman can be good detectives?  Will they ever impress their new boss (Paul Gale)?  I don’t really know the characters so I don’t care.

I swear, they could have at least brought back Caitlyn Jenner for this episode.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.18 “World of Trouble”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Al Lombard retuns.

Episode 5.18 “World of Trouble”

(Dir by Alan Myerson, originally aired on Jun 14th, 1989)

Way back in the first season, Dennis Farina appeared as an honorable gangster named Al Lombard who did not want his son, Sal, to follow him into the family business.  During his first appearance, Lombard considered ratting out his associates in return for an immunity deal but, in the end, he refused.  Al Lombard was old school.  He was not a rat.  That didn’t make much difference to his associates.  The episode ended with an ambiguous freeze frame and gunshot that suggested they had executed him.

In this episode, it is revealed that Al Lombard faked his death and has spent the last few years in Europe.  When a judge dismisses the years-old indictment against him, Al returns to Miami so he can visit his son, Sal (Timothy Patrick Quill).  Despite the fact that Lombard went back on his promise to testify against his associates, Crockett and Tubbs are still happy to see him.  Al is a likable guy!

Unfortunately, the whole thing is a set-up.  Rival gangster Federico Librizzi (Ned Eisenberg) arranged for the indictment to be dismissed in order to lure Al back to Miami.  Once in Miami, Al is upset to discover that Sal is now involved in the family business and that a gang war is about to break out over a new superweapon that Sal stole from the DEA.  When Librizzi’s hitmen try to take out Al, they hit Sal instead.

Sal is dead and Al wants revenge.  Al is smart enough to show up at a meeting between Librizzi and Burnett and Cooper (*sigh* the undercover thing again).  Librizzi shoots Al, forcing Crockett and Tubbs to shoot Librizzi.

This was one of the fifth season episodes that did not originally air during the show’s network run.  It was included in syndication as a “lost episode.”  Dennis Farina gives a charismatic performance as Al Lombard but that’s about all this episode really has going for it.  The other performances are nowhere close to being as good as Farina’s and the whole plot to bring Lombard back to Miami is ludicrously convoluted.  Seriously, there aren’t mob hitmen in Europe?

Retro Television Reviews Will Return On March 23rd


With both 2026’s second Friday the 13th approaching and Oscar Sunday this weekend and then St. Patrick’s Day and Bruce Willis’s birthday coming up the week after, this is going to be a busy 14 days for me.  I’ve got a lot of movies to watch and reviews to write so my Retro Television Reviews are going to take a break for the next two weeks.  They will return on March 23rd, at which point I will hopefully be all caught up!

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.23 “Night of Fire”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey investigates a case of arson!

Episode 1.23 “Night of Fire”

(Dir by Don Medford, originally aired on March 17th, 1957)

This is one of those episodes that ends with Casey speaking directly to the camera.  She tells us that Michele (Betty Lou Holland) will be hitting the streets in search of a new job.  If she comes in your office, Casey says, give her a chance.

It’s a nice sentiment, especially since the viewer has just spent 30 minutes watching a number of people wrongly accuse of Michele of having set a fire at a factory.  Casey, working undercover as another secretary, knows that Michele has recently been released from a mental hospital and that she’s still haunted by a bad relationship that she had with an older man.  But Casey also understands that evidence against Michele is circumstantial.  Yes, Michele had some matches in desk.  Yes, Michele had a can of turpentine in her desk.  All the rest, though, is gossip.

And it does turn out that Michele is innocent.  Co-worker Joe (Clifford David) has an alibi for the night of the fire.  While the factory was burning, Joe was getting arrested for making a scene at the bar.  When Casey learns that Joe is diabetic, she announces that diabetics can’t drink so Joe must have been faking being drunk to give himself an alibi.  Joe confesses that he was hired by the owner of the factory to set the place on fire for the insurance money.

(And it’s a good thing that Joe confessed because I’m pretty sure Casey’s logic would not have held up in court.)

Problems with Casey’s logic aside, I did like this episode.  Betty Lou Holland gave a very good performance as Michele, as did Betty Walker as Jenny, Michele’s main tormenter.  Beverly Garland did a great job communicating Casey’s righteous fury over Jenny’s self-righteous attitude. Finally, after two stage-bound episodes, this story saw a return to the location shooting that makes Decoy such a fun show for history nerds like you and me.  1950s New York was apparently the best place in the world to go shopping with a suspect.

As this episode ended, I found myself hoping that someone did give Michele a shot.

She deserved it.