I’ve starting my summer job of writing about Big Brother at Reality TV Chat Blog. In honor of that, today’s song of the day is the little-remembered theme song from the first season of Big Brother!
After listening to this, you’ll understand why they’ve gone with an instrumental theme song from season two on.
In honor of Monte Hellman’s birthday, today’s scene of the day is the conclusion of his enigmatic, 1971 masterpiece, Two-Lane Blacktop.
4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
96 years ago today, the great director Monte Hellman was born in New York City. Though Hollywood never quite understood Hellman or his idiosyncratic vision, he and his films have inspired a countless number of independent filmmakers. Hellman started his career with Roger Corman and was one of the first directors to recognize the talent of actors like Jack Nicholson and Warren Oates. When Monte Hellman passed away in 2021, he was eulogized as one of the key figures of the Hollywood counterculture. Today, we celebrate Hellman and his films with….
4 Shots From 4 Monte Hellman Films
The Shooting (1966, dir by Monte Hellman, DP: Gregory Sandor)
Two-Lane Blacktop (1971, dir by Monte Hellman, DP: Jack Deerson)
Cockfighter (1974, dir by Monte Hellman, DP: Nestor Almendros)
China 9, Liberty 38 (1978, dir by Monte Hellman, DP: Guiseppe Rotunno)
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, Jessie’s so excited!
Episode 2.9 “Jessie’s Song”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 3rd, 1990)
This is it. This is the episode of Saved By The Bell that everyone knows.
Jessie gets hooked on caffeine pills!
“I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so …. SCARED!”
Along with Running Zack, this is the episode that the show will never live down. In a 2o16 interview, Peter Engel stated that the script originally had Jessie getting hooked on amphetamines but NBC said they wouldn’t air the show if there were any references to “hard drugs.” The script was changed to have Jessie get hooked on over-the-counter caffeine pills.
I’m not sure the episode would have played any better if it had featured amphetamines. When I was younger, there were times when I accidentally took more of my ADHD meds than I should have and my behavior was nothing like Jessie’s in this episode. The scene where Jessie starts yelling in the Maxx about how she and Kelly and the show’s Lisa are going to beat out their competition for a record contract can only lead me to conclude that absolutely no one on the show had ever taken speed at any point in their life.
That’s the thing that makes this episode so memorable, though. Everyone remembers Zack waking up Jessie and Jessie screaming, “I’m so excited!” It’s a cringey moment but, honestly, the entire episode is a cringey moment. The only thing about his episode that feels in any way authentic is Mario Lopez’s performance as Slater.
(Seriously, Lopez was this show’s secret weapon. Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Tiffani Thiessen, Elizabeth Berkley, and Lark Voorhies eventually developed into good actors towards the end of the show. Out of respect for the deceased, I won’t comment on Dustin Diamond’s talents. But Mario Lopez was strong and believable from the start of the series.)
How cringey is this episode?
Screech puts on a dress and a wig and speaks with a bad Irish accent and all of the girls in the locker room believe him when he says that he’s related to Sinead O’Connor. “You taught her everything she knows!?” the show’s Lisa exclaims.
Zack is somehow able to produce, in just one day, a professional music video for Jessie, Kelly, and Lisa’s group, Hot Sundae.
That music video — oh God, the music video! It couldn’t be more 80s if it tried. The girls dance while wearing workout outfits and singing. Who wrote the song that they’re singing? Did Zack come up with it? To be honest, the video’s not that bad. It just feels extremely …. suburban. Would there have been room for Hot Sundae in 1990? Probably not. I doubt MTV was going to switch to a grunge, rap, and Hot Sundae format.
What about Jessie’s fantasy about having to go to a party school? Actually, that made me laugh. I went to a party school and I had fun. Plus, Mr. Dewey says “Cowabunga.” Still, as a general rule, any Saved By The Bell fantasy sequence automatically qualifies as cringe.
But, in the end, this will always be the “I’m so excited!” episode. Poor Elizabeth Berkley is probably so sick of people quoting that line to her. In his dubious autobiography, Dustin Diamond poked fun at his co-stars for thinking they were all giving great performances in this episode. As was often the case with Diamond, this judgment says more about his flaws than those of his co-stars. Of course the actors though they were all giving great performances. They were teenagers! They had an excuse for not knowing better. The adults, however….
In the end, Hot Sundae misses its chance for stardom because of Jessie’s freakout. It’s a good thing they’ve all got Zack Attack to fall back on.
I love this episode.
Big Brother 28 (24/7, CBS, Paramount+, Pluto TV)
Originally, I wasn’t going to watch Big Brother this season but I gave in. Watching this show and getting annoyed is pretty much a tradition around these parts and you know me. I’m all about tradition. You can read my thoughts (and Erin’s thoughts!) about the show over at RealityTVChatBlog.
The Contender (Prime)
I watched two episodes of this old reality show on Tuesday. A group of boxers competed to be …. THE CONTENDER! They weren’t bad. I actually remember when this show aired way back in the aughts. Sylvester Stallone was the host for the first two seasons. The episodes I watched were hosted by Sugar Ray Leonard.
Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock)
My review of Homicide will drop tomorrow.
Saved By The Bell (Tubi)
My review of Saved By The Bell will drop later tonight.
Sledgehammer! (Prime)
I watched an episode of this 80s comedy show on Friday. A contract was put out on Sledgehammer’s life so he hid with with Amish. It was a funny episode.
Watched and Reviewed
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, Baywatch concludes the two storylines that began in the previous episode. Will Mitch get over his guilt? Will Eddie be able to keep his job? Who will star in this week’s slow motion monologue? These are the important questions that come with saving lives for a living.
Episode 2.10 “The Trophy, Part Two”
(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on November 18th, 1991)
The beach is in chaos!
Bitter over being in a wheelchair and also being single, Turner continues to take dangerous risks. At one point, he decides to go hang-gliding to prove that not being able to walk doesn’t have to keep anyone from flying. At another point, we get one of those priceless Baywatch montages where Turner imagines himself being able run down the beach.
Mitch still feels guilty over Turner’s condition but eventually, even Mitch has to kneel down beside the guy and say that enough is enough. And really, that’s all it takes. Turner accepts that his ex, Megan, is now dating a hunky marine biologist named Ross and he moves on. Megan was played by Vanessa Angel and, according to the imdb, this was her final appearance on Baywatch. This was also Daniel Quinn’s final appearance as Turner. So I guess that storyline’s now over. Mitch still seemed to be feeling pretty guilty but he’ll have to learn how to deal with that on his own because Eric Turner is out of here!
(Quinn would go on to play two other characters on Baywatch and he also had a role in the Baywatch spin-off, Pacific Blue. I guess someone in the head office really liked him.)
Meanwhile, Eddie is bitter because, after being arrested for statutory rape, he’s been suspended from being a lifeguard. Well, Eddie, that’s life. That’s pretty much what would happen to any lifeguard in those circumstances. Eddie spends a lot of time on this show demanding to be treated like everyone else and then getting angry when it happens.
When Eddie’s accuser, Caroline (played by a young A.J, Langer), attempts to commit suicide by jumping off the pier, Shauni is there to rescue her. Having been rescued from drowning, Caroline confesses that she made up the story about Eddie because she wanted to impress her friends on the beach. Eddie is reinstated and Caroline says that she’s going to return home to Pennsylvania and get some psychiatric help.
This episode was pretty anti-climatic. For all the dramatic potential of Mitch’s guilt, Caroline’s accusations, and Eddie’s bitterness, both stories pretty much just ended with the sources of all the drama agreeing to live somewhere other than California. If only life was always that simple!
In the end, this episode was typical Baywatch. Yes, there was some drama. But the most important thing was always getting the next montage.
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on Twitter and Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, at 10 pm et, #ScarySocial presents Oculus (2013)!
If you want to join us this Saturday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
Oculus is available on Prime! See you there!
The film is 1968’s Danger Diabolik! The music is courtesy of Morricone. The direction is courtesy of Mario Bava. Does the scene make any sense? Does it have to? This film is all about pure style and it’s hard to think of any place as stylish (by 1968 standards) as Valmont’s Nightclub.
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Grindhouse Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.
4 Shots From 4 Films
Thriller, A Cruel Picture a.k.a. They Call Her One Eye (1973, dir by Bo Arne Vibenius)
Switchblade Sisters (1975, dir by Jack Hill)
Death Has Blue Eyes (1976, dir by Nico Mastorakis)
Ms. 45 (1981, dir by Abel Ferrara)
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!
This week’s episode is all about death, natural and otherwise.
Episode 2.19 “A Family Affair”
(Dir by Keith Samples, originally aired on February 19th, 1990)
Paul (Leonard O. Turner) is having an affair with Claire (Kim Morgan Greene). He doesn’t want his wife, Helen (Marlene Warfield), or his son, Jason (Morris Chestnut) to find out so when Claire becomes possessive and breaks into his house, he resorts to drastic measures and kills her. However, he and Jason then discover that Claire has already killed Helen. Months later, Paul and Jason are now estranged and Jason is doing drugs. When Paul has a heart attack, he is visited by Claire’s spirit. Claire is now the Angel of Death and has come to claim his soul. Paul begs Claire to give one more week of life so that he can settle his affairs. Claire agrees and then says that she still can’t return empty-handed. Guess who overdoses?
“Drugs,” Freddy Krueger says, “Now there’s a real nightmare!”
Did you hear that kids? The horribly scarred. undead serial killer who is the host of this show says that you better not do drugs. Freddy — or I should say, Robert Englund — delivers the line in a very solemn tone. Freddy’s Nightmares is trying to be socially responsible.
Oh, what to say about this episode? Kim Morgan Greene was enjoyably snarky while playing the Angel of Death. Otherwise, this was a pretty boring episode. Paul’s a jerk and, as a result, he loses everyone that he cares about. If Paul was in any way sympathetic, that would be sad. As it is, it’s hard to care.
Only three episodes left!
