Tag Archives: movie

Insomnia File #46: Enter the Ninja (dir by Menahem Golan)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or Netflix? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

It’s been nearly a year since I did my last Insomnia File.  To be honest, as much as I enjoy writing these posts, I feel like the idea behind the Insomnia File format has become obsolete.  The days of people dealing with insomnia by randomly flipping through movies and infomercials have pretty much come to an end.  Now, if someone has insomnia, they’re more likely to binge an old show on Netflix.

That said, if you had insomnia at one in the morning last night and you didn’t feel like binging The Office for the hundredth time, you could have turned over to TCM and watched the 1981 film, Enter the Ninja.

What would you have gotten out of Enter the Ninja?  Five words: France Nero as a ninja.  Seriously, what more do you need?  Nero plays Cole, a former mercenary who goes off to Japan, trains to become a ninja, and then heads off for the Philippines, where his old mercenary friend, Frank (Alex Courtney), owns a farm.  Frank and his wife, Mary-Ann (Susan George) are having problems because evil businessman Charles Venarius (Christopher George, chewing up the scenery as the bad guy) is determined to force them off of their land.  Add to that, Frank is a pathetic drunk.

Soon, Cole is putting on his white ninja suit and fighting to protect the farm and also dealing with Venarius’s ninja, who just happens to be an old rival of Cole’s.  Cole is also carrying on an affair with Mary-Ann but that’s not big deal because Frank isn’t much of a man.  One of the most interesting things about Enter the Ninja is that it may be a martial arts film but it’s also a modern western and a domestic drama.  Cole could just as easily be a gunslinger, protecting the homesteaders.  Frank and Mary-Ann could just as easily be a couple on a daytime drama.  Instead, they’re all in a ninja film.

The main appeal of Enter the Ninja is Franco Nero, an actor who — in his prime — was one of the sexiest men to ever appear in the movies.  He spends a good deal of the film with his face covered but the important thing is that you can still see those beautiful blue eyes.  As usual, Nero gives a good performance with so-so material.  Nero brings his trademark intensity to the role and he does actually seem to care about whether or not his friends lose their farm.

Enter the Ninja was directed by the legendary Menahem Golan, a filmmaker who understood the importance of never letting the action slow down.  Enter the Ninja is dumb, over the top, and entertaining.  Plus, it’s got Franco Nero!  What else do you need at one in the morning?

Previous Insomnia Files:

  1. Story of Mankind
  2. Stag
  3. Love Is A Gun
  4. Nina Takes A Lover
  5. Black Ice
  6. Frogs For Snakes
  7. Fair Game
  8. From The Hip
  9. Born Killers
  10. Eye For An Eye
  11. Summer Catch
  12. Beyond the Law
  13. Spring Broke
  14. Promise
  15. George Wallace
  16. Kill The Messenger
  17. The Suburbans
  18. Only The Strong
  19. Great Expectations
  20. Casual Sex?
  21. Truth
  22. Insomina
  23. Death Do Us Part
  24. A Star is Born
  25. The Winning Season
  26. Rabbit Run
  27. Remember My Name
  28. The Arrangement
  29. Day of the Animals
  30. Still of The Night
  31. Arsenal
  32. Smooth Talk
  33. The Comedian
  34. The Minus Man
  35. Donnie Brasco
  36. Punchline
  37. Evita
  38. Six: The Mark Unleashed
  39. Disclosure
  40. The Spanish Prisoner
  41. Elektra
  42. Revenge
  43. Legend
  44. Cat Run
  45. The Pyramid

Horror Film Review: The Green Slime (dir by Kinji Fukasaku)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Green Slime is here and it’s adorable!

The 1968 film, The Green Slime, is meant to be a hybrid of a horror movie and a sci-fi film.  One might even call it a forerunner to Alien if one wanted to run the risk of being ridiculed for the rest of one’s life.  It’s about an alien life form that manages to sneak into a space station.  Once it’s inside the space station, it starts to rapidly multiply and it turns out that everything that the humans do to try to stop it just causes more of the monsters to show up!

Seriously, that should be some major nightmare fuel but instead, the monsters are just too cute to believed.

Okay, maybe cute is the wrong word.  When Jeff and I watched this movie, I asked him if he could come up with a better term to describe the monsters than “cute.”  He suggested “cheap.”  And yes, the monster do look rather cheap.  It’s obvious that the monsters are made out of rubber and, half the time, their arms just seem to flail around at random.  That’s actually one of the things that makes them so cute!

It’s also one of the things that makes The Green Slime memorable.  Today, we tend to take it for granted that anything can be done via CGI so it’s interesting to see a film like this.  The Green Slime was originally released 52 years ago, long before CGI.  The special effects may look cheap but there’s an undeniable appeal to their quaintness.  The special effects are a lot like the monsters themselves.  They’re cheap.  They’re not particularly convincing.  But, in their own weird way, they’re definitely charming.

Of course, they’re not at all scary.  That’s a bit unfortunate as far as the film is concerned.  Remember how, in the Alien movies, you’re always scared to death that the alien is going to jump from out of nowhere because 1) the alien is absolutely terrifying to look at and 2) anyone caught by the alien is destined to die a terrible and agonizing death?  Well, that’s not the case with The Green Slime.  The Green Slime just kind of runs around and looks …. well, cute.

That said, The Green Slime cannot be allowed to make its way to Earth so the folks on the space station are going to have to figure out how to defeat it.  That’s not going to be easy because the two rival commanders (payed by Robert Horton and Richard Jaeckel) are currently both in love with the same woman.  Lisa Benson (Luciana Paluzzi) is the space station’s doctor and needless to say, she’s going to have her hands full.  If you’re a Bond connoisseur, you might recognize Luciana Paluzzi from Thunderball.  Myself, I was just happy that the doctor was a redhead named Lisa.  I could automatically relate to her.  Plus, there’s nothing more entertaining than hearing your name repeated over and over again.

The Green Slime was an American-Japanese co-production.  The cast is a mix of American and European actors while the film’s crew was predominantly Japanese.  Originally, The Green Slime was envisioned as being an American/Italian co-production and Antonio Margheriti was in talks to direct.  When that plan fell through, MGM moved the production to Japan and teamed up with the Toei Company.  One can only imagine what the film would have looked like if it had been directed by Marheriti.  One imagines that the aliens would have been a bit less cute.

Fortunately, cute they are!  The Green Slime fails as both a horror and sci-fi film because the aliens themselves never seem like a legitimate threat but I still like the film.  If nothing else, it pays tribute to the name Lisa and that’s definitely something that I can get behind.

Plus, the aliens are just adorable!

Horror on the Lens: The Little Shop of Horrors (dir by Roger Corman)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

(It’s tradition here at the Lens that, every October, we watch the original Little Shop of Horrors.  And always, I start things off by telling this story…)

Enter singing.

Little Shop…Little Shop of Horrors…Little Shop…Little Shop of Terrors…

Hi!  Good morning and Happy October the 2nd!  For today’s plunge into the world of public domain horror films, I’d like to present you with a true classic.  From 1960, it’s the original Little Shop of Horrors!

When I was 19 years old, I was in a community theater production of the musical Little Shop of Horrors.  Though I think I would have made the perfect Audrey, everybody always snickered whenever I sang so I ended up as a part of “the ensemble.”  Being in the ensemble basically meant that I spent a lot of time dancing and showing off lots of cleavage.  And you know what?  The girl who did play Audrey was screechy, off-key, and annoying and after every show, all the old people in the audience always came back stage and ignored her and went straight over to me.  So there.

Anyway, during rehearsals, our director thought it would be so funny if we all watched the original film.  Now, I’m sorry to say, much like just about everyone else in the cast, this was my first exposure to the original and I even had to be told that the masochistic dentist patient was being played by Jack Nicholson.  However, I’m also very proud to say that — out of that entire cast — I’m the only one who understood that the zero-budget film I was watching was actually better than the big spectacle we were attempting to perform on stage.  Certainly, I understood the film better than that screechy little thing that was playing Audrey.

The first Little Shop of Horrors certainly isn’t scary and there’s nobody singing about somewhere that’s green (I always tear up when I hear that song, by the way).  However, it is a very, very funny film with the just the right amount of a dark streak to make it perfect Halloween viewing.

So, if you have 72 minutes to kill, check out the original and the best Little Shop of Horrors…

What Lisa Watched Last Night #213: Is There A Killer On My Street? (dir by Jake Helgren)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest “premiere” on the Lifetime Movie Network, Is There A Killer On My Street?

Why Was I Watching It?

I have to admit that Lifetime fooled me.  I thought this was a brand new movie, largely because it was listed as having been released in 2020.  When I saw that, I was like, “Well, there’s no way I’m going to miss a new Lifetime movie!  Especially one that isn’t a sentimental Christmas film!”

Well, it turns out that Is There A Killer On My Street has been around for at least two years.  It was originally released under the title The Neighborhood Nightmare, way back in 2018.  When Lifetime aired the movie, they changed the title and apparently, that was enough for this movie to reclassified as a 2020 release.

That said, I’m not angry at Lifetime.  The COVID-19 outbreak shut down a lot of productions and I can only imagine how many Lifetime movies were put on indefinite hold earlier this year.  So, Lifetime picked up an old movie and changed the title.  Big deal.  It was still new to the network, right?

Don’t worry, Lifetime.  I’ve got your back.

What Was It About?

It’s time for another round of sex and sin in the suburbs!  Having escaped from an abusive marriage, Lindsay Porter (Julie McNiven) and her teenage daughter have settled down in a beautiful house in a beautiful neighborhood.  (Seriously, there’s never been an ugly house in a Lifetime movie.)  Lindsay even starts to date her new neighbor, Dr. Stephen Lane (Trevor Donovan).  However, when strange things start to happen and eventually someone shows up dead, Lindsay is forced to consider how much she knows about not just Stephen but her neighbors as well!

What Worked?

I always love a good Lifetime sin-in-the-suburbs film and Is There A Killer In My Street had all the right ingredients.  Melodrama, murder, yoga, swimming pools, a good-looking cast, and a director who was willing to let everyone go just a little overboard.  This was an entertainingly sordid movie and that’s exactly what I was looking for on Friday night.

I will say that the film also did a surprisingly good job of keeping you guessing.  I thought I had figured out who the murderer would be just to then discover that I was totally wrong.  I’m usually really good at predicting who the murderer is going to be in a Lifetime whodunit so I have to give this film a lot of credit for keeping me on my toes.  I’ve seen a lot of these films and it’s always nice to discover that I can still be surprised.

What Did Not Work?

I could nitpick but screw that.  This movie was too much fun for nitpicking.  I mean, let’s be honest.  We’re all pretty much going to be stuck in our current bizarre situation for the forseesable future.  Films like Is There A Killer On My Street are going to be essential for keeping us entertained.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I appreciated that Lindsay and I both have red hair.  I share her struggle.

Lessons Learned

If you even have to ask whether or not there’s a killer on your street, you’re already in trouble.

Here’s The Second Trailer For Ammonite!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yesterday, the second trailer for Ammonite dropped.

Up until a few months ago, Ammonite was getting a lot of buzz as a possible best picture nominee.  That buzz has died down a bit and it seems like, whenever I read anything about the Oscar race, Ammonite is kind of getting overshadowed by the acclaim that’s greeted Nomadland and One Night In Miami.  One thing that I’ve repeatedly seen is people who have seen the film saying that it doesn’t quite work but that’s it’s beautifully acted by Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan.  Probably not coincidentally, Winslet and Ronan are both still very much a part of the current Oscar speculation even if Ammonite is no longer the Best Picture favorite that it once was.

Myself, I’m still looking forward to seeing the film.  Winslet is one of the greatest actress of her generation and Ronan is one of the greatest of her’s.  Anything that brings these two together should be worth watching.

Here’s the second trailer for Ammonite:

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: Shriek of the Mutilated (dir by Michael Findlay)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

“The shriek of the mutilated!”

Listen, if there’s noting else that can be said about this 1974 film, Shriek of the Mutilated is a brilliant title.  I mean, it’s not only catchy but it’s honest.  The mutilated do tend to shriek.  You see a title like that and how can you look away?  How can you not watch just to see if the film itself lives up to the title?  That’s the genius of the grindhouse right there.  Promise a lot in the title.  Even if the film fails to deliver, people will remember the title.  Let’s be honest — I could say right now, “Shriek of the Mutilated is the worst movie ever made,” and the only thing you would hear me say is “Shriek of the Mutilated.”

Anyway, as for the film itself, it’s an Abominable Snowman film.  There’s a lot of bigfoot films but Shriek of the Mutilated is one of the few films that I’ve ever seen about the Abominable Snowman.  I’ve always wondered what makes the Snowman so abominable.  I mean, did he just choose that name or was it forced upon him?  Abominable doesn’t sound like a compliment so I’m going to guess that the Snowman was named that by someone who he owed money to.  I imagine if the Snowman had his say, he’d prefer to be known as the “The Wonderful Snowman” or maybe “The Triumphant Snowman” but, because he must live his days in hiding, he’s been given no choice.  It just doesn’t seem fair to me.

If it seems like I’m padding out this review, that’s because there’s more to Shriek of the Mutilated than just the Abominable Snowman but if I tell you too much about the plot, I’ll be spoiling the film.  And before you say that there’s no way you’d ever watch this film in the first place so it doesn’t matter if I spoil it, allow me to point out that not only is Shriek of the Mutilated available on Prime but it’s also been included in a quite a few of those cheap Mill Creek box sets.  So, chances are, you will be watching Shriek of the Mutilated at some point in your life.  And I don’t want to spoil it for you.  I want you to watch this film and shake your head and say, “What the Hell was that all about?”

Basically, a professor recruits four of his students to come search for the Snowman with him.  The students agree, despite the fact that one of the professor’s former students warns them against it.  As he explains it, he had a bright future until he joined the professor on one of his quests.  Now, he’s the school janitor and he’s a drunk!  That’s why the Snowman is abominable by the way.  He ruins lives!

Anyway, the Snowman does kind of make an appearance but, far more important than the Snowman, is a plot twist that’s so silly and so stupid and so out-of-nowhere that it simply has to be seen to be believed.  The entire film has a kind of “make it up as you go along” feel to it and it wouldn’t surprise me if someone just randomly thought up the twist in the middle of filming.  And listen — the film looks incredibly cheap and the acting is terrible but that twist is such a “WTF” moment that I recommend watching the film just to experience it.

I also recommend the film just because of the Snowman.  Check him out:

Shriek of the Mutilated was directed by Michael Findlay, who was one of the pioneers of the grindhouse cicruit.  His best films — like the Flesh trilogy — achieve a sort of dream-like intensity.  Even his worst films, like this one, are entertainingly weird.  He also directed a film called Slaughter which achieved a certain infamy when the producer (without Findlay’s input) filmed some extra scenes, renamed the movie Snuff, and then advertised it as being an actual snuff film.  Tragically, Findlay was killed in a helicopter accident in 1978 but his wife, Roberta, continued to direct movies through the 80s.

Shriek of the Mutilated is a frequently inept movie but it’s also strange enough that everyone should watch it at least once.

 

4 Shots From 4 Tod Browning Films: West of Zanzibar, Dracula, Freaks, Mark of the Vampire

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

This October, we’ve been using 4 Shots From 4 Films to pay tribute to some of our favorite horror directors!  Today, we honor the legacy of the great Tod Browning!

4 Shots From 4 Films

West of Zanzibar (1928, dir by Tod Browning)

Dracula (1931, directed by Tod Browning)

Freaks (1932, dir by Tod Browning)

Mark of the Vampire (1935; dir by Tod Browning)

 

Horror Film Review: American Nightmares (dir by Darin Scott and Rusty Cundieff)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’m always a little bit cautious about anthology films.  There’s been a few that I’ve liked.  (I recently enjoyed Tales From Parts Unknown, for instance.)  But most of the time, horror anthology films tend to leave me feeling rather disappointed.  The good segments always seem as if they’re too short while the bad segments seem to go on forever and it’s hard not to feel that the only reason the film was made was because the filmmakers couldn’t be bothered to come up with a full-length story.  Plus, there’s always some wrap-around segment and, more often than not, it’s usually kind of stupid and it leaves you feeling as if the film wasted the talents of whoever it was they hired to host the film.

And that brings us to American Nightmares.

In American Nightmares, two dorky guys who might as well have millennial tattooed on their foreheads, find their perusal of internet porn interrupted by the appearance of Mr. Malevolent (Danny Trejo), who proceeds to introduce not one, not two, not three, but SEVEN stories about terrible Americans getting their just deserts.  The two dorky guys are rather blase about it all, being more concerned with watching twerking videos than really considering Mr. Malevolent’s stories about hypocritical people getting what they deserve.

Some of the stories are okay but there’s seven of them so it’s hard not to feel that the film is overstuffed.  Plus, when you’ve got seven stories in one film, it just takes one or two clunkers to make the whole thing feel pointless.  For instance, the first story — which deals with the perfect man and what he turns out to be — is okay and the second story — about a D.A. getting bitten by karma — is cartoonish but crudely effective.  But then you hit the third story — which is about racists going to a fantasy world where “no blacks” are allowed — and the story is so heavy-handed, poorly acted, and slow that you kind of tune out.  You end up ignoring several of the stories that come after because that third one was so dumb and poorly executed.

Danny Trejo is not a bad choice to play the host of a horror anthology.  As is always the case with Danny Trejo, he brings a lot of energy to the role and he seems to be having a great time.  His co-host is Nicelle Nichols, of Star Trek fame.  She doesn’t get to do much other than nod approvingly as Trejo introduces each story.  The stories themselves are full of familiar faces, though the film could hardly be called “all-star.”  Instead, it’s more like, “Here’s a bunch of people who you might recognize and who needed the money.”  In other words, the film is full of people like Jay Mohr, Chris Kattan, Vivica A. Fox, and Brendan Sexton III.  Most of them give rather broad performances, as if they want to make sure you know that they’re just appearing in this movie as a favor to someone and not because they were desperate for work.  It’s a bit like Movie 43, just with a less prestigious cast and more dead babies.

Anyway. American Nightmares is not particularly good.  It’s overstuffed with stories and none of the stories are really as clever as the film seems to think that they are.  Danny Trejo, though, is a badass.