Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.21 “Game of Chance”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, Harvey has a gambling problem.

Episode 2.21 “Game of Chance”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on May 11th, 1992)

Harvey (Tom McTigue), the lifeguard who always appears in the opening credits but rarely does anything in the actual show, actually gets a storyline in this episode.

Harvey is on a boat in the ocean, taking part in a floating poker game. Mitch kayaks out to the game so he can tell Harvey to “fold” and get to work. Harvey, however, has a great hand. He wins everyone’s money. Unfortunately, a masked man then shows up and steals all the money for himself. (Whoever put this poker game together should have splurged a little on security.) Mitch and Harvey investigate the robbery and eventually discover that the thief owns an amphibious jeep. This leads to a less-than-exciting chase scene and Hasselhoff making jokes about a talking car.

Meanwhile, Shauni is frustrated because her father doesn’t approve of her dating Eddie. Even after Eddie saves Shauni’s older sister from drowning, her father continues to look down on him. Shauni finally decides to defy her father and move in with the man she loves. This would be really touching except for the fact that Shauni and Eddie have supposedly been living together for a while now. Just last week, someone asked Shauni what it was like to live with Eddie. I’m going to guess that this episode was originally meant to air earlier in the season but, for some reason, got pushed to the back.

This was all pretty silly, and the script itself felt like something left over from the first season, when Shauni was still a spoiled princess, Eddie was a rough-edged former delinquent, and John Cort was the resident trouble-making lifeguard.

Next week, the second season comes to an end.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial For The Chosen!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on Twitter and Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, #ScarySocial presents a 1978 film starring Kirk Douglas.  It’s a film that was released under several titles, including Rain of Fire and Holocaust 2000.  On Prime, it’s called The Chosen.

If you want to join us this Saturday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

The Chosen is available on Prime!  (Make sure the version you watch lists 1981 as the release date and Kirk Douglas as the star.)  See you there!

Scenes That I Love: Linda Hamilton in The Terminator


Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to actress Linda Hamilton.

This scene that I love is the haunting conclusion of the original Terminator.  Even with the Terminator (momentarily) vanquished, there’s still a storm coming.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special 2005 Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, we pay tribute to the cinematic year of 2005.  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 2005 Films

Batman Begins (2005, dir by Christopher Nolan)

The New World (2005, dir by Terrence Malick)

Edmond (2005, dir by Stuart Gordon)

The Call of Cthulhu (2005, directed by Andrew Leman)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Sledge Hammer! 1.7 “All Shook Up”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing SLEDGE HAMMER!, a cop comedy which ran on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The entire series can be found on Prime!

Trust him.  He knows what he’s doing.

Episode 1.7 “All Shook Up”

(Dir by Jackie Cooper, originally aired on November 7th, 1986)

15 Elvis impersonators have been murdered in the city.  Doreau wonders how anyone can be so evil.  Sledge Hammer wonders about the person who draws the chalk outlines at crime scenes.  “What type of life is that?”

Captain Trunk, who spends this episode dealing with a migraine, is upset that there aren’t more clues as to the identity of the murderer.  Hammer suggests that it will be easier to solve the case once more Elvises have been murdered.  To Trunk’s disappointment, Hammer turns out to be right.  A woman witnesses the 16th murder and reports that the killer was not only dressed like Elvis but he was also carrying a golden microphone!

It’s time for Sledge Hammer to go undercover!  Doreau enrolls him in a school for Elvis impersonators and then accompanies him to the National Elvis Impersonator Semi-Finals.  The highlight of the episode is Sledge Hammer imitating Elvis.  He can’t do the voice and he can’t do the dance moves but he’s totally convincing when he draws a gun and shoots it.  Later, he shows off his karate moves and wins a trophy.

As for the murderer, he turns out to be the janitor (Raymond Ma) at the Elvis school.  He feels that he’s the best Elvis in the world.  Unfortunately, for him, he’s electrocuted when he accidentally holds his golden microphone too close to a live wire.  With the city safe for Elvis impersonators, Sledge announces that he’s going to Graceland.

This week’s episode was just ludicrous enough to work.  Between the Elvis puns and all of the bad singing and dancing, it kept me laughing (or, at the very least, smiling).  As usual, David Rasche’s enthusiastic performance more than made up for any jokes that didn’t quite land.  This was also a good episode for Anne-Marie Martin, who played Doreau’s relationship with Hammer with just the right combination of frustration and affection.

Sledge Hammer has left the building but he’ll be back next week.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.12 “The Boom Boom Womb”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, St. Elsewhere gets topical.

Episode 4.12 “The Boom Boom Womb”

(Dir by Nicholas Mele, originally aired on January 8th 1986)

When Elliot’s car gets stuck in the snow, Luther offers to help in return for Elliot looking after Luther’s homing pigeon. Elliot, whose father was a veterinarian, agrees. Unfortunately, when Elliot attempts to turn his sink into a birdbath, the pigeon is electrocuted after it accidentally pulls an electric shaver into the water. Elliot originally tells Luther that the bird flew out a window and then froze to death on the windowsill. Luther accepts the story. A guilt-ridden Elliot later tells Luther the truth, and Luther shoves him to the ground.

Watching this storyline, I thought about how bad I always feel for Luther. In many ways, he’s the smartest guy on the show. He’s certainly the most compassionate and the least judgmental. (Yes, he pushed Elliot, but Elliot did lie to him about how the bird died.) And yet, because he didn’t grow up rich, Luther is stuck working as an orderly, and the doctors frequently seem to look down on him.

While Elliot’s lying to Luther, Helen Rosenthal is trying to figure out why her youngest son, Jeff (Ina Fried), keeps acting out in school and at home.  She even takes him to see St. Eligius’s staff psychiatrist, Dr. Weiss (Philip Sterling).  Dr. Weiss’s diagnosis is that Helen’s son is basically growing up to be a jerk.

As for the rest of the episode, it was all about current events, 1986-style. Pru (Amanda Wyss), the developmentally challenged teenager who got pregnant during her last hospital visit, has an abortion even though she doesn’t know what that means. Dr. Morrison struggles to reconcile his pro-life beliefs with his job as a doctor. Dr. Ehrlich, who has no beliefs, performs the operation. Meanwhile, a bomber (Rob Garrison) blows up the Boston Women’s Clinic and, as the episode ends, is seen sneaking a bomb into St. Eligius.

This is typically the type of storyline that would feature Westphall wandering around glumly. Westphall, however, is busy at a hearing to determine whether his housekeeper, Morena (Edith Diaz), will be deported back to El Salvador. Westphall is worried about her being deported because she’s so good with Tommy. In other words, this is yet another example of Westphall making someone else’s problem all about himself.

This episode was a bit too heavy-handed for my tastes, but I did appreciate that Dr. Morrison was at least not portrayed as a monster for his views. When it comes to being heavy-handed, the New Amsterdam episode that aired in 2022 and dealt with Roe v. Wade being overturned will always be the champion. That episode featured a slow-motion montage of people staring at their phones, dropping their coffee cups, and, in one case, running down a street. (“Maybe she’s running to the clinic to get an abortion while she still can,” Erin said when we saw the opening of the episode.) Compared to that, this episode of St. Elsewhere is actually pretty even-handed.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix for The Graduate!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly watch parties.  On Twitter, I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday and I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday.  On Mastodon, I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, I will be hosting #FridayNightFlix!  The movie?  1967’s The Graduate!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, find The Graduate on Prime, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  I’ll be there happily tweeting.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

See you there!

 

 

Song of the Day: If I Can’t Have You by Yvonne Elliman


Today’s song of the day is my favorite song of all time, performed by the wonderful Yvonne Elliman.  I can actually sing this song!

I don’t know why I’m surviving every lonely day
When there’s got to be no chance for me
My life would end, and it doesn’t matter how I cry
My tears of love are a waste of time

If I turn away, am I strong enough to see it through?
Go crazy is what I will do

If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody, baby
If I can’t have you, ah-ah-ah, oh
If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody, baby
If I can’t have you, ah-ah-ah

Can’t let go, and it doesn’t matter how I try
I gave it all so easily to you, my love
To dreams that never will come true
Am I strong enough to see it through?
Go crazy is what I will do

If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody, baby
If I can’t have you, ah-ah-ah, oh
If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody, baby
If I can’t have you, ah-ah-ah, oh

If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody, baby
If I can’t have you, ah-ah-ah, oh
If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody, baby
If I can’t have you, ah-ah-ah (I’m in love with nobody)

If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody, baby
If I can’t have you, ah-ah-ah, oh
If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody, baby
If I can’t have you, ah-ah-ah, no

(Lyrics by Maurice Ernest Gibb / Robin Hugh Gibb / Barry Alan Gibb)

Scenes That I Love: “Greed is Good” from Wall Street


Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy 82nd birthday to actor and producer Michael Douglas!

For today’s scene that I love, we have a scene from Oliver Stone’s 1987 film, Wall Street.  In this scene, Michael Douglas plays Gordon Gekko.  Gekko is supposed to be the film’s villain but he’s actually a lot more compelling and, at times, sympathetic than the film’s heroes.  He’s not a judgmental jerk like the union leader played by Martin Sheen.  Nor is he a snitch like his protegee, played by Charlie Sheen.  Instead, Gordon Gekko is honest about who he is.

This is the scene that won Michael Douglas an Oscar.  Watching him in this scene, it’s easy to see why Douglas’s performance supposedly inspired a lot of people to get a job working on Wall Street.  Douglas is so charismatic in this scene that he makes this movie into one of the best advertisements for capitalism ever filmed.