Short Film Review: Fried Barry (dir by Ryan Kruger)

Posted on June 4, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I just watched a three-minute short film called Fried Barry. Now, you may ask: “How much of a story can you tell in three minutes?” Well, the answer is that you can tell a lot more than you might think. For instance, Fried Barry might only last 180 seconds but it tells the story of a lifetime.

Fried Barry tells the story of Barry (Gary Green), a man who has obviously fallen on hard times. When we first see him, he’s dirty, he’s scruffy, he’s twitching, and he’s wandering around in what appears to be a deserted warehouse. His eyes appear to be full of madness as they dart from one side of the warehouse to the other. A series of quick cuts, taking us from extreme close-ups of Barry to medium shots back into Barry’s face (and potentially his mind), keep us just as disorientated as he is. The soundtrack is full of the sounds of the chaos that is erupting in Barry’s mind and we wonder if Barry is insane or maybe if we’ve just entered someone else’s dream. It’s when we see the spoon and the hypodermic needle that we come to understand that Barry is a heroin addict.

When he shoots up, the short film just gets more chaotic. Shots of Barry looking somewhat blissful are followed by shots of Barry looking even more pissed off. Occasionally, a peaceful image appears but the sounds of chaos continue to erupt in the background. By the time Barry is using his tongue to catch flies like a frog, we find ourselves wondering once again if we’re watching Barry from the outside or if we’ve entered his head.

Looking over the notes that I jotted down while watching Fried Barry, I see that I originally wrote that Barry was “a crazy dude in a warehouse.” That’s probably not entirely fair to Barry. When you see someone at a certain point in their life, you never fully understand how they reached that point. That’s true of the desperate people that we see everyday and certainly, that’s true of someone like Barry. Who knows who Barry was before he became “a crazy dude in a warehouse.” The film is full of hints but it’s up to us, as the viewer, to put them together.

David Lynch once describes Eraserhead as being “a dream of dark and disturbing things,” and I think the same description applies to this 3-minute film. It’s a film that will definitely stick with you. iHorror released it this week so check it out.

The short film Fried Barry has been adapted into a feature film, which has just completed post-production and should be coming out at the end of 2019.

Film Review: The Cleaning Lady (dir by Jon Knautz)

Posted on June 3, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Cleaning Lady opens with a close-up of several mice in a box. A hand reaches down and scoops up the mice, one-by-one. The mice are dropped into a blender. We watch as a finger turns the blender on. Now, before anyone panics, we don’t actually see the mice get turned into puree or anything like that. (Indeed, if we had, I would have stopped watching the movie right at that moment.) Still, just the sound of that blender coming to life was enough to make me cringe.

It’s also a signal of the type of film that The Cleaning Lady is going to be. This is a dark horror movie about some seriously damaged individuals. If you think that things can’t get any darker than mice being dropped in a blender, just you wait.

The film opens with the travails of Alice (Alexis Kendra), who has a nice apartment and a married boyfriend. The problem with having a married boyfriend is that, no matter how much you love him, you still have to deal with the guilt of being a homewrecker. Unfortunately, Alice is “addicted to love” and she simply cannot seem to resist the urge to call Michael (Stelio Savante) and ask him to come over to her place. Not even attending a support group seems to help. (Of course, Michael does invite her to to go to Italy with him and, seriously, who could resist a free trip to Italy?)

As for Alice’s apartment, it’s nice and big but what’s the point if you can’t keep it clean and neat? Fortunately, Shelly (Rachel Alig) is here to help! Shelly is the cleaning lady and she has a habit of mysteriously materializing in Alice’s apartment. At first, Alice is a little bit nervous around the heavily scarred and withdrawn Shelly. However, Alice soon comes to appreciate Alice’s ability to unplug a drain and dispose of dead rodents. Soon, Alice is making Shelly dinner and inviting her to stay over and watch movies. Alice even drives Shelly home one night and is shocked to discover that Shelly apparently lives out in the middle-of-nowhere.

Now, admittedly, Alice’s motives aren’t entirely altruistic. There’s a hint of elitism to Alice’s attempts to be nice to “the help.” Even more importantly, spending time with Shelly gives Alice something to do other than calling up Michael. Alice is using Shelly to break her addiction.

What Alice doesn’t realize is that 1) Shelly’s become a bit addicted to her company and 2) Shelly is willing to do just about anything to get closer to Alice. I’m not going to spoil things by discussing just how far Shelly goes but let’s just say that things do a get a bit extreme. And that’s even before the knives and the axes come out!

The Cleaning Lady is hardly the first horror film to be made about obsession, nor will it be the last. That said, it’s still an effectively creepy film. By making Alice as obsessed with Michael as Shelly is with Alice, the film brings a few unexpected wrinkles to its plot and both Alexis Kendra and Rachel Alig do a good job bringing their characters to life, with Alig even managing to generate some sympathy for poor, scarred Shelly. Alig especially deserves credit for underplaying a few key scenes, as opposed to going full psycho. The fact that Shelly rarely speaks above a whisper actually makes her far more intimidating than she would have been if she had spent the entire movie screaming at her prey.

All in all, this is an effective indie horror film. Of course, after seeing the film, it’s possible that you might never look at a blender the same way again….

Coming Down The Mountain: Runaway! (1973, directed by David Lowell Rich)

Posted on June 3, 2019 by Jedadiah Leland

Runaway! begins with a train starting a slow descent down a snowy mountain. On board the train are collection of skiers, gigolos, conductors, and engineers. One couple discusses their upcoming divorce. An athletic father tries to bond with his less-athletic son. A slick con artist tries to convince a depressed young woman not to throw herself from the train. A group of skiers put on an impromptu concert, banging on their suitcases like bongo drums. They get so loud that the conductor doesn’t even hear the engineer desperately trying to contact him. What none of the passengers realize is that the train’s brake engines have frozen and the train is about to start hurtling down the mountain. Unless the chief engineer can figure out a way to stop the train, everyone’s going to die!

Made for television in the year between the release of The Poseidon Adventure and The Towering Inferno, Runaway! is a low-key but entertaining disaster movie. With a running time of only 70 minutes, Runaway! doesn’t waste any time getting down to business and, even if it is a low-budget movie, there’s no way that an out-of-control train racing down a mountain can’t be exciting.

Compared to the other disaster movies of the era, Runaway! does not exactly have an all-star cast though there are some familiar faces. Vera Miles and Ed Nelson are the divorcing couple while Martin Milner is the father who puts too much pressure on his son. Ben Murphy is the gigolo who refuses to pay for a ticket on general principle while Darleen Carr is the woman who wants to jump to her death. Most of them are just there as placeholders. It’s obvious from the start that the real stars of the film are going to be the train and the mountain. However, the famously gruff character actor Ben Johnson manages to make an impression just by being Ben Johnson. Johnson plays the chief engineer and, as long as he’s manning the engine, you know that the train’s passengers are in good hands.

Runaway! has never been released on DVD or even VHS but it is currently available on YouTube.

Lifetime Film Review: Mommy Group Murder (dir by Nick Everhart)

Posted on June 2, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

There are a few lessons that I’ve learned from Lifetime movies in general and the film Mommy Group Murder in specific.

First off, don’t live in the suburbs. Like, seriously, don’t do it. Yes, the houses are big and everyone’s got a nice lawn and there’s always some hot guy working shirtless across the street from you. Yes, it may seem like a nice and fun place to live but don’t be fooled. You want to know why all those pretty and handsome people are living in the suburbs? Because they’ve all got something to hide! The minute they see you and your sensitive husband and your baby moving into the big, white house next door, they’re going to start plotting against you. Next thing you know, strangers will be putting cameras in your house and having sex on your kitchen counters and you’ll be hearing weird noises at all hours of the night.

(Of course, I already live in the suburbs so I’m learning this lesson a bit too late. Admittedly, my suburban neighborhood seems to be a bit safer than the average Lifetime suburban neighbor. I have yet to find any hidden cameras in the house and the kitchen counters are thoroughly cleaned every day.)

Lesson number two: no matter how appealing the mysterious mansion next door might look, resist the temptation to break in and look around. In fact, for that matter, don’t even accept an invitation to visit. Nothing good ever happens in those mansions. There’s always either a dead body hidden in an ice chest or someone chained up in the basement. Once you discover something like that, you’re pretty much required by law to get involved and go to the police. So, seriously, think before you invade.

Lesson number three: You know that person who shows up out of nowhere and suddenly wants to be your new best friend? DON’T TRUST THEM! When all of your old friends or your husband says that they think there’s something strange about your new BFF, LISTEN! And when you discover that your new best friend is using an alias, ask yourself why. Don’t just shrug and say, “Well, she just changed her name. Big deal.”

Finally, lesson number four — and this is one that was specifically driven home by this movie: Don’t join a mommy group! Sure, it’s tempting. I mean, you’re suffering from crippling depression. You’re having nightmares about someone trying to kidnap your baby. Your new best friend suggests that maybe you need to join a mommy group so that you can talk about all of this with people who actually understand what you’re going through. It seems like a great idea but, if Lifetime has taught us anything, it’s that these mommy groups always lead to secrets, lies, and murder!

That’s what Natalie (Leah Pipes) discovers after she befriends the mysterious Grace (Helena Mattsson). Natalie and Grace are the center of Mommy Group Murder, a film which aired on Lifetime back in March.

Plotwise, Mommy Group Murder may seem like a typical Lifetime film. Suburbs, adultery, murder, and a best friend that no one listens to until it’s too late, it’s all here! However, Mommy Group Murder also features a wonderfully nuanced performance from Leah Pipes and a few twists and turns that take the movie to a slightly darker place than the average Lifetime film. Director Nick Everhart emphasizes the darkness at the heart of the film’s story, opening with a harrowing montage of Natalie struggling to bond with her daughter and ending with a shadowy sequence that has as much in common with a horror film as a Lifetime film.

Mommy Group Murder is a nicely done, melodramatic thriller. Watch it and learn.

From the Golden Age of Cinemax: Saints and Sinners (1996, directed by Paul Mones)

Posted on June 2, 2019 by Jedadiah Leland

From the golden age of late night, straight-to-video Cinemax comes Saints and Sinners!

After spending years away, Pooch (Damian Chapa) has finally returned to the old neighborhood. As soon as he returns, he partners up with his childhood best friend, Big Boy (Scott Plank). The violent and erratic Big Boy is a low-level gangster with big plans. He wants to take over the neighborhood and he’s sure that, working with the level-headed Pooch, he’ll be unstoppable. Complicating matters is that both Pooch and Big Boy have fallen for the same woman, the mysterious Eva (Jennifer Rubin) and, quicker than you can say Jules and Jim, all three of them are soon sharing a bed. Complicating matters even further is the fact that Pooch is an undercover cop who has recently been caught up in a corruption sting. His superiors have given him a choice. He can either help them take down Big Boy or he can go to jail himself.

Though the plot of Saints and Sinners may seem familiar (think of it as being a low-budget version of the Sean Penn/Gary Oldman gangster flick ,State of Grace), it’s distinguished by gritty locations, energetic direction, and two good performances from Damian Chapa and Scott Plank. But, to be honest, Jennifer Rubin was the main reason that 14 year-old me used to stay up to watch this movie on Cinemax. In the role of Eva, she’s sexy, enigmatic, and potentially dangerous. You’re never sure what her game is and, as a result, the movie is not as predictable as you might expect it to be. Jennifer Rubin was one of the best of the femme fatales to appear in the straight-to-video neo-noirs of the 1990s and shes’ at her best and most uninhibited here.

Saints and Sinners may not have many saints but it has enough sin that it doesn’t matter.

Jennifer Rubin in Saints and Sinners

Let’s Talk About Monster Island (dir by Mark Atkins)

Posted on June 2, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh hell yeah, the Asylum strikes again! And this time, it’s all about Kaiju, helicopters, and Eric Roberts!

Listen, folks, if you don’t get automatically excited when you see the words “Kaiju,” “helicopters,” and “Eric Roberts” all in the same sentence, I don’t know what to tell. Obviously, you’re not the audience that this film was made for. This is a film for people who enjoy monster mayhem, things exploding, and helicopters. Seriously, it’s not an Asylum film without a helicopter.

Admittedly, Eric Roberts’s role is actually pretty small. He plays Admiral Butler and he’s got an entire fleet of warships at his disposal. You’d think that would be just what you would want when dealing with a bunch of recently awakened ancient monsters but it turns out that the Admiral is pretty stubborn. He’s better at shouting into telephones than understanding the logic behind Kaiju. And if you’re saying to yourself, “Would we really want Eric Roberts to be in charge of the U.S. Navy?,” you are again missing the point. Asylum films, like this one, create their own parallel universe. It’s a universe where monsters live, sea creatures can take down helicopters, and, of course, Eric Roberts is going to be in charge of a battleship.

The main character is Billy Ford (Adrian Bouchet, giving a cheerfully flamboyant performance), a billionaire who operates out of a beach house and whose underwater sea mining operation may be responsible for awakening the fearsome Tengu. (Tengu looks kind of like a giant starfish and has molten magma for blood.) Billy has two people working in the basement of his beach house. Cherise (Donna Cormack Thompson) has been working with him forever. Riley (Chris Fisher, giving a nicely neurotic performance) is such a recent hire that Billy still calls him “James.” When it becomes apparent that something has awakened at the bottom of the ocean, Billy, Cherise, and Riley head underwater to investigate.

Coming along with them is Sarah Murray (Natalie Robbie), who works for the government and who is an expert in geomythology. Geomythology is the study of alleged references to actual geological events in mythology. Geomythology is a real thing and, after having watched this movie, I kind of wish that I had at least minored in it. At one point, Sarah has to go to her former Geomythology professor (Margot Wood) for advice on how to stop Tengu from destroying the world and it turns out the professor lives in this huge cabin. There’s money to made in keeping track of the world’s Kaiju.

Anyway, needless to say, once Tengu is awakened, it’s pretty much determined to end the world. This movie, as you can probably guess from the title, pays homage to the Japanese monster movies of old. When flying, fire-breathing monsters start hatching from eggs and attacking the world, their battle shrieks will be familiar to anyone who has ever seen a movie featuring Godzilla, Mothra, or Rodan. When the film reaches the point of two giant monsters fighting each other while a bunch of human beings watch on, it’s impossible not to be reminded of Godzilla fighting King Kong. It’s all in good fun, a monster movie made by people who loves monster movies for people who love monster movies.

Monster Island is a film to watch and to enjoy for the mayhem and the destruction. Watch it to enjoy Eric Roberts bragging about the Navy’s new “sonar weapon.” Watch it for the scene where one person makes the mistake of taunting one of the monsters. (Piece of advice: Don’t ever yell “Come on!” at a create that can breathe fire.) Watch it for giant starfish rising out of the ocean and the crashing helicopters. Get a group of your friends together and enjoy the movie because the Asylum is back and so are the monsters and the helicopters!

Monster Island aired on the SyFy Network last night and it’ll probably air again. Keep an eye out!

Godzilla: King of the Monsters, Review by Case Wright, Dir: Michael Dougherty

Posted on June 1, 2019 by casewright

Godzilla: King of the Monsters is like eating a huge handful of different colored Jelly Bellys all at once; it’s fun and kinda sticky. It was written and directed by Michael Dougherty (Trick ‘r Treat, Krampus, or anything that’s filmed for a few hundred bucks and a sandwich). Dougherty is known for inexpensive genre films like Krampus, which was kind of fun in a goofy way. This is a much bigger budget and if it weren’t for the dialogue, it would’ve been great. Honestly, you don’t really need to listen to the dialogue and Dougherty is a lousy writer; so you’re better off tuning the people out.

The cast was everyone you like: Coach Taylor, Eleven, Tywin Lannister, That Lady from the Conjuring, That Science Teacher from Stranger Things, West Wing Guy, What’s His Face, and the guy who was in the last one who wanted the monsters to fight. On the monster side: there was Mothra, King Ghidora, Rodan, Michaelangelo, Godzilla, and the rest. They were all thrown at the screen like water balloons hitting you in the face.

The movie opens with Dr Emma Russell (Vera Farmiga) and Madison (Millie Bobby Brown) at a Monarch facility where baby Mothra wakes up and everyone seems to want to touch it. Gross. They’re gonna get a dino-rash! Terrorists enter, kill everyone, and take ….. did I write take … I meant pick up Dr. Russell and Madison.

Why? Dr. Russell lost her son to the last Godzilla attack and has decided that everyone should die because that makes sense…somehow. So, she sets up her Doctor Doolittle machine to talk/wake up all the Kaijus to kill everyone. Her argument is really annoying and has a makeshift powerpoint presentation. She is the embodiment of every sanctimonious Seattleite, Vegan, Composting, Apologist, Whiner all rolled into one; she figures if the monsters kill all the people that the world will be better off- think if that horrible Lorax finally got the money to kill for the trees. They’re why I refuse to recycle …. EVER!

Anywho….she wakes up all the monsters and Coach Taylor who is Dr Russell’s quasi-ex-husband scientist is granted crazy authority over the military to figure out how to stop all the monsters from killing everyone. And man do they ever fight?!!! I mean it do they ever fight? I counted only four monster on monster fight scenes- kinda skimpy. Also, Godzilla had to be recharged with nukes or radioactive spa time to keep going; I guess Godzilla decided to upload the latest Apple Update.

Godzilla ends up on top….literally. He gets on top of a mound in Boston and all the other monsters bow down to Godzilla, except Mothra – She curtsies (she’s from another time). There’s good CGI and Monster fighting- when they do fight. Just don’t go trying to find deeper meaning. I loved these movies because they’d be on tv for the nerd set when I was a kid. I saw them all. In fact, in King Ghidora v Godzilla, Godzilla tries to help the Japanese win world war II or at least one battle. It was awesome. These movies are great because you can unplug and watch some awesome destruction. This movie brings the boom. Enjoy!

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Film Review: American Me (1992, directed by Edward James Olmos)

Posted on June 1, 2019 by Jedadiah Leland

American Me tells the story of Montoya Santana (Edward James Olmos). Conceived during the Zoot Suit Riots of the 1940s, Santana is first arrested when he’s just 14 years old. It’s only a breaking-and-entering charge but, on his first night in juvenile hall, Santana is raped by another inmate. When Santana retaliates by murdering his rapist, his fate is set. As soon as he’s 18, he’s transferred to Folsom Prison but, by that time, he and his friend J.D. (William Forsythe) have already formed what will become La Eme, the Mexican Mafia. Running things from their cells, Santana and J.D. not only control the prison’s drug trade but they also keep an eye on who, from their old neighborhood, is going to be joining them behind bars. Santana establishes early on that the punishment for any sign of weakness or disloyalty is death.

When Santana is finally released from prison, he finds that the world has changed since he was first incarcerated. La Eme has become powerful both inside and outside of prison and nearly everyone in Santana’s old neighborhood looks up to him. But Santana, himself, is lost. In prison, Santana was feared and respected but, on the outside, he’s a 34 year-old man who has never had a job or a relationship. He’s never even learned how to drive.

After meeting and falling in love with Julie (Evelina Fernandez) and seeing firsthand the damage that the drug trade is doing to his community, Santana starts to have second thoughts about La Eme. But, according to the rules that he previously established, trying to leave La Eme is punishable by death.

American Me is a classic gangster film and I’m always surprised that it doesn’t have a bigger following than it does. Along with starring in the film, Olmos made his directorial debut with American Me and he provides an unflinchingly brutal look at the drug trade and the violence that goes along with it. Olmos was allowed to film inside Folsom Prison and even used actual prisoners are extras, bringing a touch of neorealist verisimilitude to the prison scenes. Early on, there’s a sequence that follows a baggie of heroin from one orifice to another until it finally reaches it destination in the prison. It leaves you with no doubt that if people are willing to go through that much trouble to get drugs, it’s going to take something more than just zero tolerance laws to dissuade them.

Once Santana is released, Olmos does a good job, as both an actor and director, of showing just how lost he is. In prison, Santana was in charge and feared but, when dealing with people in the real world, he’s just as awkward as he was when he was a teenager on his way to juvenile hall. Olmos gives a tightly-wound, subtle performance as a man who is as much a prisoner of his outlook as he is of the state of California.

The men who served as the real-life inspiration for Olmos’s film were reportedly outraged by American Me. They weren’t upset by the film’s portrayal of the drug trade or their callous disregard for the members of their community. Instead, the film’s crime was suggesting that their organization was founded by someone who had been previously raped in prison. (That Santana subsequently killed his rapist made no difference.) Three people associated with the Mexican Mafia, all of whom has served as consultants to American Me, were subsequently murdered in the days immediately following the release of the film.

As for Edward James Olmos, he has remained busy as an actor. One generation got know him on Miami Vice and then the next came to know him from Battlestar Galactica. He’s subsequently directed four other films. For me, his strongest work, as both an actor and a director, remains American Me.

Riot On Ice: Paul Newman in SLAP SHOT (Universal 1977)

Posted on June 1, 2019 by gary loggins

cracked rear viewer

Hockey fans are excited about this year’s Stanley Cup Finals between the Boston Bruins and the St. Louis Blues, so I figured now’s the time to take a look at the quintessential hockey movie, George Roy Hill’s SLAP SHOT. Hill and star Paul Newman, who’d previously collaborated on BUTCH CASSIDY & THE SUNDANCE KID and THE STING, reunited for this raucous, raunchy sports comedy about a failing minor league hockey team who reinvent themselves as a hard-hitting goon squad.

Newman plays Reg Dunlap, an aging rink rat now the player-coach for the Chiefs, a dying franchise in a dying mill town. The team is on a massive losing streak, and attendance is at an all-time low. Two-bit GM Joe McGrath (Newman’s COOL HAND LUKE antagonist Strother Martin) is trying to sell the Chiefs, and things look bleak until Dunlap begins taunting his opponents and the rink violence escalates. Enter a…

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Lisa’s Too Early Oscar Predictions For May

Posted on May 31, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s that time of the month again!

It’s time for me to offer up my early Oscar predictions!

These will be my first set of predictions since the Cannes Film Festival. It’s always debatable just how much of an influence Cannes will actually have on the Oscar voting. A victory at Cannes pretty much led to Tree of Life receiving an Oscar nomination and it certainly didn’t harm the chances of BlackKklansman last year. While Once Upon A Time In Hollywood and Terrence Malick’s A Hidden Life may not have picked up any major awards at Cannes, the positive critical reception that both of those films received can only help. The same can be said of The Lighthouse, which was shown out of competition. Finally, the Cannes jury gave its best actor award to Antonio Banderas and, for now, that’s enough for me to add him to my list of predicted nominees.

So, without any further ado, here are my predictions for May! If you want to see how my thinking has evolved over the year, be sure to also check out my predictions for January, February, March, and April!

Best Picture

1917

A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

Fair and Balanced

The Goldfinch

Harriet

A Hidden Life

The Irishman

Jojo Rabbit

Little Women

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

Best Director