Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, it’s all about maids and bartenders!

Episode 7.22 “The Lady and the Maid/Love Is Blind/The Babymakers”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on March 3rd, 1984)

This week, it’s a busy cruise!

Dorothy Fielding (Luise Rainer) boards the boat and immediately runs into her twin sister, Maggie (also played by Rainer).  Maggie is working as a maid and she resents her sister.  But when Dorothy agrees to switch places with Maggie, Maggie gets to date the charming and rich Stewart Coolidge (Don Ameche).  This storyline features not one but two Oscar winners.  Ameche won an Oscar for his role in Cocoon, albeit after this show aired.  Rainer won two Oscars, back-to-back, in the 30s and then seemingly vanished from film screens.  Unfortunately, while Ameche is charming, Rainer comes across as if she would rather be anywhere than playing twins on an episode of The Love Boat.  There were several scenes in which Rainer spoke with Rainer.  They were obviously included to show off the show’s split-screen approach but, unfortunately, Rainer never seemed to be sure which direction either twin should be looking while interacting with the other.

Sheila (Jennilee Harrison) is desperately trying to get pregnant.  Doc mentions to her husband (Kim Shriner) that most babies are conceived during makeup sex.  Guess who starts a totally random argument with his wife?  This was a silly story but, to be honest, the main appeal of this show has always been its silliness.  Harrison and Shriner were beyond adorable.

Finally, Isaac’s blind friend, Darnell Hall (LeVar Burton), boards the ship and takes part in Isaac’s bartending school.  Darnell and Isaac also compete for the attention of Terry Cook (Shari Belafonte).  And before anyone says anything — yes, I know Burton played a blind guy on Star Trek: The Next Generation.  I don’t care.  As for who Terry picks …. well, Isaac is a regular character and Terry isn’t.  It’s not that hard to guess how things are going to turn out.

That said, I know what you really want to know.

Julie doesn’t do much in this episode but she does sound rather excited about wishing everyone a happy day in Mexico.  I’m going to say seven out of ten.