Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.

Smiles, everyone, smiles!

Episode 4.7 “The Invisible Woman/The Snowbird”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on December 6th, 1980)

This week’s trip to Fantasy Island is all about entertainers.

For instance, Ned Pringle (Douglas Barr) is not an entertainer but he wishes that he could be.  Instead, the handsome and athletic Ned is a popcorn salesman who works for a traveling circus.  He has a crush on a trapeze artist named Velda Ferrini (Pamela Sue Martin) but he feels that he won’t ever be able to talk her unless he too can become a trapeze-artist.

Mr. Roarke grants him his fantasy.  He hands Ned a magic pouch and has him climb up a magic ladder.  When Ned reaches the platform at the top, he suddenly discovers that he is now standing high above the ground.  Below him, the entire circus is waiting for him to audition.  Fortunately, as long as Ned has the pouch, there is nothing he can’t do.  He’s the world’s greatest acrobat and he is, of course, hired by the circus’s owner, Mr. Ferrini (Don Ameche).  Ferrini is the father of Velda and when he hires Ned, he does so under the condition that Ned not try to date his daughter.  Good luck with that, Ferrini!

Meanwhile, Velda’s older brother, Mario Ferrini (George Maharis), takes an interest in Ned’s career and he even starts to pressure Ned to attempt the same super dangerous quadruple summersault that led to Mario injuring his leg and having to drop out of the act.  Ned, however, realizes that Mario needs to do the summersault himself so that he can get back his confidence.  After a conversation with Mr. Roarke (who shows up swinging on the trapeze and wearing a white bodysuit!), Ned allows Mario to have the pouch.  Mario finally pulls off the quadruple summersault and he returns to the act.  Meanwhile, Ned realizes that he doesn’t have to be an acrobat to be worthy of Velda’s love and he instead becomes the circus’s new manager.

And good for all of them!  Ameche, Martin, Maharis, and Barr were all extremely likable in this story, though you do have to wonder what Maharis is going to do if he ever loses the magic pouch.  That said, the true stars of the story were the stunt crew.  It was pretty easy to spot everyone’s stunt double, which added to the fun of the story.  Ricardo Montalban’s stunt double, for instance, appeared to be about 20 years younger than him and blonde.

The episode’s other story deals with a veteran entertainer named Denny Palumbo (Dick Gautier).  Denny became a star doing a corny song-and-dance act with his wife, Trish (Neile Adams).  However, Denny and Trish got a divorce and their act broke up.  Denny is now engaged to Harriet (Elaine Joyce) and he is putting together a new act with two new dancers.  Trish’s fantasy is to become invisible so that she can make sure that Denny isn’t cheating on her.

“Boss!” Tattoo says, “Can you do that!?”

“It remains to be seen,” Roarke replies.

(Oh hey, I just got that!)

Just as Roarke gave Ned a magic pouch, he gives Harriet a magic potion that grants temporary invisibility.  When Harriet turns invisible, her clothes can still be seen and appear to be floating in mid-air.  This leads to her (in her invisible state) undressing in front of Tattoo and Roarke.  Tattoo’s eyes get especially wide as everything from Harriet’s dress to her underwear hits the floor.  In fact, Tattoo gets so distracted that Roarke snaps, “Tattoo!”

(Later, Tattoo deduces that Roarke can still see Harriet, even after she’s taken the potion and removed her clothes.  “Boss!” Tattoo gaps.  I’m a bit shocked, myself.  Mr. Roarke has always been such a gentleman in the past that I find it hard to believe that he would not have stepped out of the room or, at the very least, turned his back while Harriet undressed.)

Being invisible allows Harriet to spy on Denny.  It turns out that Denny is not cheating on her but invisible Harriet still deliberately ruins his rehearsal and causes the new dancers to quit.  Needing a partner, Denny turns to Trish, which upsets Harriet even though Harriet was the one who was secretly responsible for inspiring the other two dancers to quit in the first place.  Eventually, Harriet realizes that Denny and Trish are meant to be together but that’s okay because she also realizes that she’s meant to be with Denny’s manager, Monty (Sonny Bono, who apparently spent the early 80s living off whatever money he made from appearing on shows like The Love Boat and Fantasy Island).

This story suffered from the fact that all of Harriet’s problems could have been solved by Harriet not acting like an idiot.  As I’ve mentioned many times in the past, I am not a fan of the idiot plot.  Sonny Bono was likable as Monty but Denny and Harriet were so broadly drawn and performed that I mostly just wanted to Monty to totally get away from both of them.

This week’s trip to Fantasy Island was just silly.