It’s just a normal night as Danzig’s house in the video for Braineaters. Everyone comes for dinner and the chef comes out with a pot full of brains. If nothing else, this video is about as literal an adaptation of a song’s title as you are ever likely to see.
Enjoy!
“The answer to life’s every riddle: death and hungry darkness.” — Batman
Doug Moench and Kelley Jones’s Batman: Crimson Mist is what happens when a superhero story stops pretending it can still be saved. The third and final entry in their Batman/Dracula Elseworlds trilogy, it takes the vampire-Batman concept introduced in Batman & Dracula: Red Rain and developed in Batman: Bloodstorm, then drags it into a bleak, blood-drenched finale where Gotham is overrun, Batman is undead, and the usual rules of heroism have completely collapsed. This is not a book interested in clever detective work, heroic triumph, or a reassuring ending. It is a gothic horror comic about a man who became a monster trying to decide whether he can still protect the city that made him. The result is excessive, melodramatic, and sometimes messy—but also memorably nightmarish.
The premise is deliberately bleak. Batman has already died, but death does not exactly stick in this universe. He returns as an undead creature still wrestling with Dracula’s curse, while Gotham has descended into a vampire-infested ruin. The book turns Batman’s usual moral code into the central conflict: he is supposed to protect the city, yet the thing inside him wants to feed. That is a strong hook because Batman stories work best when his discipline and restraint matter. Here, restraint is not just a personality trait; it is literally the difference between hero and monster. The story presents Batman as someone who has to give up everything, including life itself, to face the final reckoning, and that gives it an apocalyptic, no-way-back tone.
Moench’s writing is very much in “gothic comic book” mode. There are lots of declarations, ominous speeches, dramatic captions, and characters who seem incapable of saying anything quietly. At times, the dialogue gets so overwrought that it borders on parody. Batman broods, villains cackle, and the story constantly announces its own darkness. But honestly, that is part of the appeal. This is not trying to be a grounded crime story or a restrained psychological thriller. It is a big, pulpy vampire opera, and Moench leans into that identity completely. The book works best when you accept that everyone is performing at maximum theatrical intensity.
What gives the story real weight is the way it treats Batman’s vampirism as a tragedy rather than just a cool visual upgrade. He has power, but it comes with hunger. He can fight monsters, but he is increasingly one of them. The tragedy is that Batman’s greatest strength—his refusal to kill—has been compromised before the story even begins. He is already damned, or at least believes he is, so the question becomes whether he can still choose to protect people when every instinct tells him to consume them. That gives Crimson Mist a more emotional core than you might expect from a book with this much fang-baring carnage.
Kelley Jones’s art is the main reason this book feels so distinctive. Jones has always drawn Batman like a creature from a nightmare: huge cape, gaunt limbs, exaggerated shadows, a face that can shift from heroic determination to monstrous hunger. In Crimson Mist, that style is perfectly matched to the material. Gotham looks rotten and haunted. The vampires look genuinely repulsive. Batman himself often looks less like a man in a costume and more like a wraith who happens to wear one. The book is credited to Moench with art by Kelley Jones, John Beatty, and Malcolm Jones III, and the inking especially helps give the pages that scratchy, decayed texture.
The color work is a little more divisive. Some readers find the later trilogy books less polished than Red Rain, and Crimson Mist can look muddy or harsh depending on the printing. But that griminess fits the story. This is not a clean, glossy Gotham. It is a city already half-consumed by corruption, blood, and supernatural rot. The art may not be conventionally beautiful, but it is atmospheric in a way that suits the material. Jones makes every panel feel like it is breathing fog, dripping blood, or hiding something with too many teeth.
One of the most notorious aspects of Crimson Mist is its treatment of Batman’s villains. The Penguin, Two-Face, Killer Croc, Poison Ivy, Scarecrow, the Riddler, Black Mask, and the Joker all appear in the story’s larger cast, and the book has no interest in preserving the usual rules of superhero combat. Batman is not merely defeating criminals; he is hunting them. The violence is extreme, sometimes shocking, and often deliberately grotesque. For some readers, that will feel like a betrayal of the character. For others, it is the whole point: this is an Elseworlds where the usual safety rails have been removed, and Batman’s no-kill rule has collapsed under the weight of the vampire curse.
That said, the book’s biggest weakness is also its willingness to go too far. Crimson Mist sometimes mistakes escalation for depth. Once Batman starts tearing through familiar villains, the story can feel like a checklist of shocking moments rather than a carefully built narrative. The Joker’s involvement, in particular, has the potential to be fascinating, but the book often seems more interested in the spectacle of Batman versus his enemies than in exploring what those confrontations mean. There is a difference between “Batman has become a monster” and “the comic keeps showing Batman doing monstrous things,” and Crimson Mist occasionally lands on the wrong side of that line.
Still, the final chapter has a bleakness that gives it purpose. Unlike a standard superhero story, there is no obvious route to a happy ending. Batman cannot simply punch the curse away. Gotham cannot simply be saved by better policing or a clever gadget. The trilogy has spent two books making the world worse, and Crimson Mist has to confront the consequences. That gives the story a fatalistic energy. It feels like a horror movie’s final act, where the heroes are exhausted, the monsters are everywhere, and survival itself may be too much to ask.
As a standalone graphic novel, Crimson Mist is probably not the ideal entry point. It assumes familiarity with Red Rain and Bloodstorm, and without those books, the emotional stakes will feel thinner. Batman’s relationship with Selina Kyle, the fallout from his battle with Dracula, and the overall state of Gotham all carry over from the earlier chapters. The book is collected alongside both predecessors in Elseworlds: Batman Vol. 2, which is really the best way to experience it. Read on its own, it can feel like an exaggerated finale; read after the first two books, it feels like the inevitable, ugly conclusion to a tragedy that started when Bruce Wayne accepted vampire blood to save Gotham.
The trilogy’s appeal is that it understands something important about Batman: he is already a horror character. He dresses like a bat, operates at night, uses fear as a weapon, and lives in a city that practically begs to be overrun by monsters. Moench and Jones simply make the metaphor literal. Batman becomes the thing he has always dressed as. That idea alone gives the trilogy its power, and Crimson Mist takes it to its logical extreme.
Is it the best of the three? Probably not. Red Rain has the cleaner concept and the stronger sense of discovery, while Bloodstorm expands the mythology and gives the tragedy more room to develop. Crimson Mist is messier, louder, and more extreme. But it is also the most purely Kelley Jones book of the bunch. If you like his art, this is essential. If you do not, this may be the book that finally breaks you. Every page seems designed to remind you that Jones does not draw Batman as a handsome adventurer; he draws him as a haunted, elongated nightmare given a cape and a mission.
For all its excess, Batman: Crimson Mist is a memorably deranged piece of late-’90s DC horror comics. It is melodramatic, violent, ugly in places, and completely uninterested in being subtle. But it is also visually striking, thematically appropriate, and a genuinely fitting end to the Batman/Dracula saga. It asks what happens when Batman’s war on crime becomes literal predation, then answers with blood, shadows, and a Gotham that may be beyond saving. If you want a Batman story that feels like a Hammer horror film crossed with a nightmare, this is absolutely worth reading. Just do not come in expecting the World’s Greatest Detective to solve the case with a batarang and a stern lecture. By the time Crimson Mist is over, Batman is less a detective than a curse with a conscience—and that is exactly the kind of deranged Elseworlds premise DC should occasionally let creators run wild with.
2014’s Only One Way tells the story of Paul (Josiah David Warren), who is 20 years old and who lives with his parents in Texas. Paul was home-schooled and now he’s a college student. He goes to church every Sunday and he and his parents have regular Bible study.
Paul is a bit easily led. We discover this when he starts dating Melanie (Erika Alaspa), who is still in high school and who insists that Paul tell her that she’s beautiful whenever he picks her up from her dance class. Melanie’s father has a devilish beard and a condescending attitude and, when he hears that Paul still lives at home, he says that’s fine except that Paul won’t be a real man until he moves out. Later Paul gets a text from Melanie telling him that her parents loved meeting him but that they all agree that he needs to become “A REAL MAN” and find a new place to live.
Paul gets his own apartment and soon, he’s struggling in both school and life. Melanie and her wild friends are always coming over to party. They introduce Paul to smoking weed. Paul goes from hacking up a lung to making an apple pipe in record time. Uh-oh! His parents stop by the apartment to drop off some groceries and they catch Paul with an apple.
No longer welcome at his parents’s house, Paul tries to make it in the world on his own. He gets a job delivering fried chicken but he’s not good at it. You may wonder how any twenty year-old could manage to screw up something as simple a delivering fried chicken. Well, Paul drops a bucket of KFC on somebody’s lawn and his response it just to brush the grass off the chicken. Then he drops the bucket for a second time when trying to hand it off to the people who ordered it.
“That’ll be fifteen,” Paul says.
No, Paul, that’ll be free!
To be honest, what Paul is going through is not that unusual. I think everyone struggles a bit making the transition from being a teenager to being an adult. The job of a parent is to help the kid prepare for that transition but still, it’s not easy going from living a life with no consequences to living a life where everything has a consequence. Everyone probably parties too much when they first leave home. It’s just human nature.
The thing that sets Paul apart is that he really does just seem to be a complete idiot. Even before he starts dating Melanie, he’s talking about how he’s struggling in college. The film puts most of the blame on Melanie but Melanie isn’t the one who told Paul to put the chicken back in that bucket. Melanie may smoke weed but Paul is the one who decides to smoke with her. Believe me, most people will not be offended if you don’t smoke their weed. That just means more for them.
Anyway, this film was shot on video with a largely amateur class and it shows. This is one of those films where you really have to strain to make out the dialogue because the sound recording is so bad. On the plus side, Paul does own a really cute dog and, by the end of the film he’s found a girlfriend who isn’t trying to destroy his soul. Good for him!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing SLEDGE HAMMER!, a cop comedy which ran on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The entire series can be found on Prime!
Sledge Hammer says to trust him. Does that mean he’ll be able to find a bunch of missing babies?
Episode 1.10 “If I Had A Little Hammer”
(Dir by Kim Manners, originally aired on November 29th, 1986)
Someone has abducted all of the newborn babies from the local hospital. Captain Trunk suspects that the babies are going to be sold to couples looking to adopt. “You mean like a mom and pop operation?” Hammer asks. Doreau asks to be assigned to the case and Trunk reluctantly agrees. He has full faith in Doreau. It’s her partner that worries him.
Most of the humor in this episode comes from the fact that Hammer doesn’t like babies. The reason why the humor works is because Hammer never changes his mind. Hammer dislikes babies just as much at the end of the episode as he did at the start. It provided a nice contrast to not only every other character on the show but also to what we usually expect from television shows.
(Personally, I love babies but I get tired of seeing them in commercials where the whole joke is that they need their diapers changed.)
The babynappers are a brother/sister team. Brion James plays the brother and it was nice to see that he could handle comedy just as well as drama. He fit right in with the Sledge Hammer universe. The big confrontation between him and Sledge Hammer took place inside the warehouse of baby products supplier. Hey, it made laugh!
This was perhaps the most wholesome show about kidnapping and illegal adoption that I’ve ever seen.
What was the Siberian fireball?
One of the more intriguing mysteries of history is investigated in this episode of In Search Of…. Leonard Nimoy narrates!
(It’s always strange to me that there hasn’t been hundreds of movies made about the Tunguska event. I know that the current popular theory is that it was a comet or, at the very least, a really big asteroid. Personally, I like the theory that it was Nikolai Tesla testing out a death ray.)
On tonight’s episode of FreakyLinks, Derek and the team head down to New Mexico to investigate reports of a tentacle-bearing desert creature! If not for the tentacles, I would say it was probably a chupacabra. Seriously, if you ever see a chupacabra coming at you, run!
This episode originally aired on November 3rd, 2000!
Enjoy!
After Nightcrawler (Alan Cumming) causes a national security crisis by teleporting into the White House, Colonel William Stryker (Brian Cox) is given the authority to invade Professor Xavier’s School and investigate its connection to the mutants. Stryker, who not only wants to investigate the mutants but also destroy them by manipulating the same technology that Xavier uses to find them, just happens to be an old enemy of Logan’s (Hugh Jackman). In fact, Stryker is responsible for Logan fusing the adamantium to his bones. That’s a hell of a coincidence.
A sequel to X-Men, X2 tells a bigger and more complex story than the first film. Professor Xavier’s students are spread out by the chaos. Rogue (Anna Paquin) sees prejudice firsthand when Bobby Drake (Shawn Ashmore) is betrayed by his own family. Pyro (Aaron Stanford) is tempted to reject the X-Men’s philosophy of coexistence. After being underused in the first film, both Scott (James Marsden) and Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) are key players here. Magneto (Ian McKellen) and Mystique (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos) return, this time temporarily allying with Professor X (Patrick Stewart) to stop Stryker. Logan has his own reasons to go after Stryker. Surprisingly, X2 is not only bigger than the first film but it’s also better. The actors are more convincing in their roles, the action is more exciting, and director Bryan Singer capably juggles all of the different parts without losing the plot. He even manages to ably set up the Dark Phoenix Saga. In the first film, the X-Men had it almost too easy when it came to battling opponents like Toad and Sabretooth. This film has not only Brian Cox’s William Stryker but also Kelly Hu’s Deathstrike.
Those of us who were shocked when X-Men turned out to be good were even more shocked when X2 turned out to be even better. For a little while, it seemed like there would never be a bad X-Men movie! Later, that’s the way a lot of us would also feel about the Marvel movies. Those were good days.
The crew of an icebound ship witnesses two men on dogsleds, apparently trying to kill each other. The sicklier of the men boards the ship and explains that his name is Victor Frankenstein (Patrick Bergin) and that he should not have tried to bring the dead back to life. As he tells the story of how he brought his Monster (Randy Quaid) to life, the film becomes a series of flashbacks.
Produced for TNT and playing up the costumes and the scenery at the expense of the story, this version of Frankenstein is the one that people forget about. This version emphasizes the psychic bond between the Monster and Victor. Whenever the Monster gets injured, Victor feels it, and that’s a problem because the Monster gets injured a lot, and Victor is already in ill health. Patrick Bergin plays Victor as a grandly romantic figure, which doesn’t make him particularly believable as a sickly and obsessed scientist. Randy Quaid is better as the Monster, especially in the scenes after the Monster is first brought to life and he’s still learning the basics. (I actually think Quaid’s performance is superior to Robert De Niro’s take on the character in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.) Finally, John Mills is memorable as the blind man who shows the Monster some kindness.
One thing that I will always remember about Frankenstein is the scene where the Monster tells Victor, “Ah wanna woman!” For months afterward, my friends and I would imitate Randy Quaid’s delivery of that line. Many actors have played the Monster in the years since, but none have topped “Ah wanna woman!”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.
This week, Bobby Caldwell returns.
Episode 4.15 “Family Feud”
(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on January 29th, 1986)
After being gone for the last few episodes, Bobby Caldwell (Mark Harmon) returns to St. Eligius. As he explains it, he’s spent the last month or so with his family in Baltimore. He worked on his family’s farm and got in touch with what actually matters in life. Westphall is so happy to hear this that he immediately starts talking about the time he spent volunteering in Ethiopia.
Caldwell is ready to get his facial scar taken care of. He meets with an old colleague from medical school, Dr. Duncan Harper (Kip Gilman). Harper says that the operation should be simple and quick and then Caldwell will be ready to hit the bars again. As a precaution, Caldwell gives blood, just in case it’s needed during the surgery.
Later, a shaken Harper comes to St. Eligius and meets privately with Caldwell. Harper says that the lab did some standard tests on Caldwell’s blood and that it appears that Caldwell might have AIDS. Caldwell says there has to be some sort of mistake, but Harper shakes his head. Harper retested the blood himself. He asks if Caldwell has any lesions. Caldwell looks down at a spot on his hand and says, “I thought it was just an infection.”
Caldwell tells Westphall about his diagnosis. Westphall tells Caldwell not to give up hope, that a cure might be right around the corner. Caldwell replies that he’s probably got 15 months to live and he’s not going to stop working. After Caldwell leaves, Westphall meets with Auschlander and they both agree that they have no idea what to do.
Meanwhile, it’s Jack Morrison’s birthday! Clancy arranges for him to have a birthday party in the doctor’s lounge. She also continues to flirt with Fiscus. You might expect Morrison to be upset about that, but Morrison is too busy flirting with Mona, Fiscus’s ex! Yeah, we’ll see how that works out….
Finally, Augusta Endicott previously told Dr. Craig that she didn’t want to have a bypass, even if it meant that she would die otherwise. However, when the entire Endicott family comes to visit her, she changes her mind. (During the operation, Dr. Wade comments that Dr. Craig must really be looking forward to the next Endicott presidential campaign. Craig snorts and says that the Endicotts are a bunch of bleeding-heart liberals and he wouldn’t vote for them in a million years. I love Dr. Craig.) Sen. Gordon Endicott (Charles Cioffi) goes to the chapel to pray and ends up getting shot by a lone gunman.
Gee, who saw that coming?
The Endicotts continue to bore me. They’re just not that interesting as either characters or as thinly-veiled stand-ins for the Kennedy family. On the other hand, Bobby Caldwell’s storyline was powerful and Mark Harmon gave an especially good performance. (I just wish the show had made it clear that AIDS wasn’t meant to be some sort of narrative punishment for Caldwell’s previous bad behavior.) It will be interesting to see how the hospital deals with Caldwell’s diagnosis. Will he actually be allowed to continue to do his job? We’ll find out next week.
DEAD TONE (2007), also known as 7EVENTY 5IVE, opens with a group of kids playing a prank-calling game called “Seventy-Five,” where the goal is to place a random phone call and tell such a believable story that the person who answers will stay on the line at least 75 seconds. One guy seems upset when they call him. Later that night, while everyone is sleeping, a psycho with an axe comes in and brutally murders all the parents while the kids hide and watch in terror. Jump forward ten years and most of the kids who survived the night of terror are now college students. Invited to a weekend party at a wealthy classmate’s mansion, the group resumes their prank-calling game. Needless to say, when the maniac from ten years earlier answers the phone, the members of the group find themselves being stalked and murdered again. Hopefully Detective John Criton (Rutger Hauer), who worked the original murders 10 years earlier, will figure out who the killer is and stop him before everyone dies!
DEAD TONE is directed by Brian Hooks and Deon Taylor, who also star in the film. They’ve created a gory, low-budget slasher that blends elements of ‘80s and ‘90s horror films with an urban twist. For a guy who did his share of prank calls as a kid, I think the “psycho on the receiving end of a prank call” storyline is pretty cool. And the opening scene where the kids watch as their parents are killed because of their phone calls is horrific and pulls you right into the story. Unfortunately, once we get past the interesting open, there’s nothing that special about the rest of the movie. The characters aren’t particularly memorable or likable, and they sure as hell aren’t very smart. Call me crazy, but I’m thinking that I would never make another prank call again if I survived a mass murder event that was brought on by prank phone calls. These folks have no such qualms, which may not make any sense in the real world, but I guess is necessary if you need more axe murders for your plot. I will admit that there are a few awesome kills in the film, especially if you enjoy a good beheading. I won’t spoil the scenes, but the ones I’m specifically thinking of are both surprising and jarring at the same time. I’m also the kind of guy who will watch anything featuring Rutger Hauer. DEAD TONE’s Detective John Criton isn’t a character highlight of his career, but I still enjoy watching him go through the motions of investigating the crimes both in the present and in the past. It’s a part that he could have completed in his sleep, but this movie would have benefited from more “Hauer time.”
Overall, DEAD TONE is the kind of movie to watch with little to no expectations. It’s not great, but if you’re in the mood for a slasher movie with jump scares, silly characters, some decent gore, and even an acting legend thrown in for good measure, you could do a lot worse than DEAD TONE!
