Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.3 “The One That Got Away”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, you can do anything in a montage!

Episode 2.3 “The One That Got Away”

(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on September 30th, 1991)

After Megan (Vanessa Angel), a lifeguard who we’ve never seen before, is attacked by a maniac (Rick Dean), she has to conquer her fears of being attacked again so that she can lure him out of hiding so that he can be arrested.

Meanwhile, Shauni is burned out on being a lifeguard so she and Eddie spend a weekend just enjoying the beach and presumably ignoring anyone who might be drowning.

This is pretty much the epitome of a syndicated episode of Baywatch and it’s interesting to see that the formula was pretty much determined and locked in even this early into the show’s syndicated run.  There’s a serious storyline about a maniac attacking women on the beach but the cameraman spends as much time leering at Vanesa Angel as the man stalking her.  Shauni is tired of doing her job and instead of telling her to find a new job, it’s suggested that she just spend a weekend looking at the sunset with her boyfriend.

But the most important thing is that, regardless of the beach maniac and Shauni’s depression, there’s plenty of time for endless musical montages.  That’s what this episode is really all about.  Shauni gets a frustration montage.  She gets a happy montage.  Lifeguard Harvey gets an acting like a jackass montage.  Each montage takes up about five minutes of screentime so that probably definitely helped when it came to writing the script for this episode.

David Hasselhoff, oddly enough, is barely in this episode.  It’s only the second episode of the show’s syndicated run and the Hoff was already taking the week off?  I guess you can do that when you’re syndicated.

Song of the Day: Paranoid (by Black Sabbath)

Posted on by Arleigh

“Paranoid” kicks off with that racing riff that instantly puts you on edge, like you’re glancing over your shoulder waiting for trouble to catch up. It’s short, loud, and ridiculously catchy, but what really makes it stick is how alive it feels the whole way through, like the band is barely holding back all that energy. Alongside their other iconic single “War Pigs” from the same second studio album, Paranoid, these tracks are straight-up building blocks of what would become heavy metal—raw power, dark vibes, and riffs that redefined everything.

What I love most is how Tony Iommi’s guitar doesn’t just sit in the background—it drives the whole thing. The man lost the tips of his right-hand ring and middle fingers in a factory accident but came back playing like a bat out of hell, way better than dudes with all their fingertips intact. The riffs are sharp and urgent, but the solo is where it really takes off, because it sounds loose, clever, and aggressive all at once.

The guitar solo begins at about 1:23 in the original track, and that’s the moment the song really opens up and starts flexing. From there, Iommi keeps it simple enough that it feels memorable on first listen, but the phrasing has this gritty personality that makes it sound way bigger than the number of notes would suggest. It’s a great example of how a solo can be compact and still feel huge.

So if someone’s never heard “Paranoid” before, I’d tell them to start here and just let it rip. It’s heavy without being bloated, exciting without being messy, and the solo gives it that extra spark that makes the whole song feel iconic. Tracks like this and “War Pigs” are exactly why Tony Iommi earned his title as the “Godfather of Heavy Metal”—even if you’re not usually into older metal, this one has such a direct punch that it’s hard not to get pulled in.

Paranoid

Verse 1]
Finished with my woman
‘Cause she couldn’t help me with my mind
People think I’m insane
Because I am frowning all the time

[Verse 2]
All day long I think of things
But nothing seems to satisfy
Think I’ll lose my mind
If I don’t find something to pacify

[Bridge]
Can you help me
Occupy my brain?
Oh yeah

[Verse 3]
I need someone to show me
The things in life that I can’t find
I can’t see the things that make true happiness
I must be blind

[Guitar Solo @1:23]

[Verse 4]
Make a joke and I will sigh
And you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness, I cannot feel
And love to me is so unreal

[Verse 5]
And so, as you hear these words
Telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life
I wish I could, but it’s too late

Great Guitar Solos Series

Brad reviews COLD WAR (2012), starring Aaron Kwok & Tony Leung Ka-fai!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

As I continue revisiting various movies that feature Chow Yun-Fat during his birthday month of May, I decided I would revisit his work in the COLD WAR franchise, specifically COLD WAR II from 2016. The problem is that I hadn’t watched COLD WAR (2012) since it was released on Blu ray well over a decade ago, so I couldn’t remember much about it. And when you consider that another sequel, COLD WAR 1994 (2026), was released to boffo box office in China just last week, now seemed like a perfect time for another viewing of the original.

Set in Hong Kong, Asia’s “safest big city,” COLD WAR begins with the disappearance of a police emergency response van, as well as all five officers on board. We soon meet deputy commissioners Sean Lau (Aaron Kwok) and M.B. Lee (Tony Leung Ka-fai) who have vastly different ideas of how the situation should be handled. Lau wants to take a calm, measured, and analytical approach that prioritizes public safety, while Lee wants to take a bulldozer to the city and stop at nothing to find the officers and punish those responsible. Admittedly, Lee’s motivation is clouded by the fact that his only son Joe (Eddie Peng) is one of the missing officers. This setup kicks off a battle between dedicated cops, ambitious politicians, and motivated terrorists in a world where saying the wrong thing could cost you your career. Depending on which side you’re on, it could even cost you your life.

Aaron Kwok and Tony Leung Ka-fai are excellent as the rival deputy commissioners trying to manage the crisis while also outmaneuvering each other. Kwok plays the colder and more procedural Sean Lau, who sparingly shows the cracks in his armor. It’s a nicely controlled performance by Kwok, making the scenes where we see his humanity that much stronger. Leung’s M.B. Lee is more old-school, driven by instincts and results. His intense performance provides life to the film, and he was rewarded for his work with that year’s Hong Kong Film Award for Best Actor.

The primary intrigue of the film is provided by the tense meetings and phone calls between these men and their teams, as well as the political fallout of those standoffs. It’s strange for a Hong Kong crime film, but the actual retrieval of the missing cops comes across as secondary, and it still works. First time directors Sunny Luk and Longman Leung really like their dialogue scenes and trust the audience enough to let these moments carry the suspense for large chunks of time. Imagine that happening in a Hollywood action film?!!

Even with all the dialogue and posturing, the action scenes in COLD WAR are exciting when they do come. There’s a freeway shootout where we get to see that agent Lau has some incredible shooting and survival skills to go along with stoic demeanor. The final action sequences hit hard, featuring a step up in the graphic violence in comparison to what we’d seen up to that point in the film. The players and the stakes had been firmly established, so when violence does erupt, I was invested in its outcome, whether it be good or bad.

COLD WAR gets an easy recommendation from me. I thought it was well acted and well directed, with enough meaningful action to remind me why I like Hong Kong movies in the first place. It was also fun to see so many familiar faces in important roles, including cameos from the likes of Andy Lau and Michael Wong. A word of warning though, you will need to pay attention to the film if you want to enjoy it. So much of the fun comes from the tension created by the situations and the dialogue, so this is not a viewing experience designed to co-exist with a lot of other distractions.

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Reptilicus With #ScarySocial!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting 1961’s Reptilicus!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy!

 

Scenes That I Love: Albert Finney Hates People In Scrooge

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today would have been the 90th birthday of the great British actor, Albert Finney!

And today’s scene that I love features Albert Finney in the role of history’s most famous miser.  In 1970’s Scrooge, Finney played the title role and, early on, his worldview was perfectly captured by a song called I Hate People.  Finny was only 34 when he played Ebenezer Scrooge but he does a wonderful job of bringing the character to life and he’s just as convincing when he’s being good as he is when he’s being bad.  Finney is the main reason why Scrooge is my personal favorite of all of the versions of A Christmas Carol.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special J.A. Bayona Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, we wish a happy birthday to the great Spanish director, J.A. Bayona!  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 J.A. Bayona Films

The Orphanage (2007, dir by J.A. Bayona, DP: Oscar Faura)

The Impossible (2012, dir by J.A. Bayona, DP: Oscar Faura)

A Monster Calls (2016, dir by J.A. Bayona, DP: Oscar Faura)

Society of the Snow (2023, dir by J.A. Bayona, DP: Pedro Luque)

Music Video of the Day: Wild Night by John Mellencamp, featuring Me’shell Ndegeocello (1994, directed by Jonathan Kaplan)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Today’s music video of the day is for John Mellencamp’s cover of Van Morrison’s Wild Night.

In 1994, the opening of this video was the most popular 40 seconds on MTV.  I have traveled in a lot of taxi cabs and Ubers.  I’ve been lucky enough to have some very good drivers but none of them appeared in the 1992 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.  The driver, in this video, is played by Shana Zadrick, a model who was often compared to Cindy Crawford.

Back in 1994, if you enjoyed this video, you could go down to your friendly neighborhood Musicland (or Suncoast Motion Picture Company) and, for just $19.98, you could see even more of Shana in this commemorative video:

The other good thing about this video is that bassline, which was provided by Me’shell Ndegeocello.  Wild Night was released at the same time that Ndegeocello had her biggest solo hit, If That’s Your Boyfriend (He Wasn’t Last Night).

This video was directed by Jonathan Kaplan.  A former film school classmate of Martin Scorsese’s, Kaplan got his start directing films like Night Call Nurses and The Student Teachers for Roger Corman.  He eventually became a mainstream film and television director.  His most highly regarded film is probably 1988’s The Accused, for which Jodie Foster won her first Oscar.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.12 “It’s My Party And You’ll Die If I Want You To”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

Guess who is making trouble …. again.

Episode 2.12 “It’s My Party And You’ll Die If I Want You To”

(Dir by Tom DeSimone, originally aired on December 24th, 1989)

This aired when?

Wow!  Happy Christmas Eve!

Freddy takes center stage in this week’s episode.  First, he possesses a phony psychic (Gwen Banta) and uses her to kill a bunch of people because …. well, why not?  He’s Freddy.  It’s kind of what he does.  The second story features Freddy seeking revenge on the woman who stood him up for prom and it features an occasionally clever subplot about a man attempting to write a film about Freddy’s life.  Freddy complains that the script doesn’t have a heart.  That’s because Freddy ripped it out of the screenwriter.

This was not a bad episode.  Director Tom DeSimone does a good job of keeping the action moving and he allows Freddy to be genuinely menacing.  This entire season has pretty much been a reminder of the fact that Freddy isn’t just an undead spirit who makes joke  He’s also very scary.  If the first season treated Freddy like a quip machine, the second season has gone out of its way to show that Freddy is pure evil and you’re better off not being in his presence.

This week’s stories were tied together by the presence of Oliver Michaels (Richard Speight), a spacey young man who previously appeared in Photo Finish.  Oliver does his best to warn people in this episode but no one’s willing to listen until it’s too late.

That’s life in Springwood.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.19 “Red White Black And Blue”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

St. Elsewhere gets political!

Episode 3.19 “Red White Black and Blue”

(Dir by Eric Laneuville, originally aired on February 13th, 1985)

This week, on St. Elsewhere!

  • The First Lady is coming to Boston!  Though she’s going to be visiting Boston General, St. Eligius has been designated as a backup hospital.  While she’s in the area, the Emergency Room will be closed to everyone but her.  As well, some members of the hospital staff have been flagged as security risks — including Dr. Craig!
  • Dr. Craig is not happy about that but eventually, he’s cleared.  It turns out that his wife was the security risk because she once defended the Black Panther Party.
  • Betty White plays Captain Gloria Neal, a doctor who is on the First Lady’s security team.  She is an old friend of Dr. Westphall’s.  At first, it seems like she and Westphall might pursue a romance but it doesn’t happen.  I’m going to guess this is because Gloria realized that Dr. Westphall is the most depressing man on the planet.
  • When a severely injured man is rushed to St. Eligius, Neal refuses to open the Emergency Room.  So, Dr. Craig takes it upon himself to overrule her.  The man dies on the table.
  • Dr. Jacqueline Wade (Sagan Lewis) follows Captain Neal around, complaining about the president’s policies.  In fact, the entire hospital seems to be full of Democrats!  Wow, this President sure must have been unpopular.  Let’s see who it is …. hey, Ronald Reagan!  Three months before this episode aired, Reagan was reelected with 58% of the vote.  He carried 49 states, including Massachusetts.  Apparently, everyone who voted for Walter Mondale worked at the same hospital.
  • Mrs. Hufnagle is back at the hospital.  She is having heart problems.  Dr. Westphall glumly tells the doctors that they have been neglecting her because of her terrible personality.  However, not even Westphall can handle talking to her.  He passes the case over to Dr. Craig.
  • Fiscus has dinner with Shirley Daniels, who says that she hopes she goes to prison for shooting Dr. White.  The next day, Shirley is admitted to the hospital with appendicitis.
  • Victor Ehrlich wrong believes that a child has been abused by his mother.  He gets social services involved.  Later, Westphall sighs with regret and tells Victor that he did the wrong thing.  Westphall is being kind of a prick here.  Legally, if Ehrlich thinks that there’s been abuse, he’s required to report it.  Westphall seems to be upset that Ehrlich can’t read minds.
  • Finally, chronic homewrecker Nurse Rosenthal has to spend the day at the hospital so her lover, Richard, spends the day with her annoying children.  Well, I guess he certainly wasn’t going to spend it with his wife.  I will never understand why this show felt it was necessary to spend so much time with this particular family.  They were all annoying, every single one of them.

This episode opened with a homeless man using an American flag as a blanket and then went on to feature a man selling American flags getting attacked.  That’s about as subtle as things got.  It’s interesting that the show previously established Dr. Craig as being a Republican but apparently, with this episode, viewers were expected to believe that he was not a fan of Ronald Reagan’s.

In other words, this was not a great episode.  This felt like the medical equivalent of one of those Law & Order episodes where all of the salt of the Earth cops start talking about how they never miss Morning Joe.  

Finally, I feel bad for Mrs. Hufnagle,  Even annoying people deserve good medical treatment!