Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.8 “Easy Come Easy Go”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Time to get back to 1st & Ten.  To be honest, with all the excitement of the holiday season, I totally forgot that I was reviewing this show.

Episode 2.8 “Easy Come, Easy Go”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on January 6th, 1987)

This is yet another episode of 1st & Ten that felt as if it was put together almost at random.

Mad Dog (Tony Longo) has a one night stand with a lawyer named Molly (June Chadwick) and he ends up becoming obsessed with her.  He shows up at a fancy cocktail party being hosted by Molly’s law firm.  “This man is stalking me!” Molly yells.  All of the men at the party are like, “Mad Dog!  You’re my favorite player!”  Now, I will say that this is a realistic portrayal of how most men act whenever they see a professional athlete but it still felt a bit icky to watch.

Jethro takes a blood test and discovers that little Tommy is not his son.  But he still wants to be a part of the kid’s life.

Yinessa sees a tabloid newspaper headline about his “nude pictures” and starts yelling at a supermarket manager for selling the paper.

Waldren is in financial trouble because he’s been tossing money around.  A group of gamblers approach him and offer to pay to shave points.  OJ Simpson (in the role of offensive coordinator T.D. Parker) tells Waldren, “I’m keeping my eye on you.”  Oh no!  LOOK OUT, WALDREN!

However, Waldren does not shave points.  Instead, he catches the ball that seals the Bulls victory in their first playoff game.  Woo hoo!  Go, Waldren!

A lot happened but, in typical 1st & Ten fashion, none of it added up to much.  It could be because the streaming episodes were edited for syndication but this is just a weird show.  Every episode feels as if their huge chunks of plot missing.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.1 “China Cruise: The Pledge/East Meets West/Dear Roberta/My Two Dumplings”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, we begin season 7!

Episode 7.1 “China Cruise: The Pledge/East Meets West/Dear Roberta/My Two Dumplings”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on October 1st, 1983)

It’s time for season seven of The Love Boat!

Gopher has been promoted to head purser.  For six seasons, he was assistant purser and I always wondered who the head purser was.  Apparently, there wasn’t one because Stubing promoted him without firing anyone.  It’s possible that I just don’t know how cruise ships work.

The Love Boat crew starts off the season with a cruise around China!  I guess the old saying is true — only Stubing could go to China.  I kept waiting for Stubing to announce that he recognized Taiwan as an independent nation but he didn’t.  I was a little bit disappointed by that.  Instead, Stubing and the crew saw the sights.  There’s a panda bear!  There’s the Great Wall of China!  There’s a bunch of young people all singing, almost as the future of their loved ones depended on doing a good job!  In fact, this premiere episode is really more about seeing the sights of China than it is about any of the drama playing out on the boat.  I guess that makes since.  This episode aired in the pre-Internet age of 1983, so for the audience, this really was a chance to see a world that they probably couldn’t otherwise experience.  It’s not like they could go on YouTube and do a search for China or something like that.  It was up to The Love Boat to open up the world!

That said, Chinese medicine came in for a bit of criticism.  Susan Anton played a woman who didn’t trust doctors and who thought buying a Chinese symbol for good luck would keep her safe.  However, when she suddenly had intense stomach pain, it was up to Doc to save her life.  Where’s your good luck charm now!?

Linda Evans played a woman who fell in love with Lee Majors, little suspecting that Majors was the author of the “Dear Roberta” advice column.  Some of “Roberta’s” advice led to Evans divorcing her previous husband.

Lee Horsley played a man with two girlfriends (Erin Moran and Pat Klous).  Uh-oh!  They all ended up on the boat at the same time!

Finally, Ursula Andress played a dying woman who fell for a mysterious but charming passenger (John Forsythe).  Unfortunately, Forsythe had a warrant out for his arrest and Detective Michael Constantine was determined to take him into custody.  This story was unique in that it had an unhappy ending!  While the crew had a few unhappy endings (Remember when Julie was left at the altar?), this was the first time that things didn’t work out for a passenger.

Was this a good episode?  It was, strictly from the point of view that I like The Love Boat crew and I enjoy spending time with them.  This episode was occasionally a bit too much of a travelogue but the Andress/Forsythe story carried some weight.  All in all, it was a decent start for season 7.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.9 “Cop In A Box”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Okay, we’re doing this again.

Episode 3.9 “Cop In A Box”

(Dir by Scott Lautanen, originally aired on November 2nd, 1997)

Oh, Pacific Blue.  How I have not missed you.

This episode features TC getting abducted by Harland Groves (Jeremy Roberts), a criminal who TC previously busted.  Harland traps TC in an underground beach bunker.  How Harland got his hands on an underground beach bunker is never explained.  Harland demands that TC’s rich family pay him 4 million dollars.  At the same time, he plans to use a chlorine gas bomb to kill TC.  Why he didn’t kill TC to begin with and then demand the money is never really explained.  It’s almost as if Harland secretly wanted his plan to fail.

I really didn’t have a problem with the idea of TC getting killed off.  Pacific Blue is one of the more boring of the shows that I review and killing TC would have livened things up.  At the very least, without TC around, I would no longer be forced to try to keep straight which member of Pacific Blue was TC and which member was Victor.  Unfortunately, TC manages to disarm the chlorine bomb.  When Harland attacks him in the bunker, it leads to a bunch of sand pouring in.  Harland is suffocated while TC escapes.

Oh well.

The cool thing about this episode is that Andy Buckley — who later played David Wallace on The Office — returned as TC’s brother.  The funny thing about this episode was the sight of grim-faced Palermo barking out orders while wearing his stupid bicycle shorts.  And the unfortunate thing is that TC survived so Pacific Blue will not be changing any time soon.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.21 “Bojangles and the Dancer/Deuces Wild”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  The show is once again on Tubi!

It’s time for our second-to-last trip to the Island.

Episode 7.21 “Bojangles And The Dancer/Deuces Wild”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on May 12th, 1984)

Sisters Audrey and Judy Jennings (played, of course, by Audrey and Judy Landers) come to the Island because they’re sick of men only appreciating their bodies as opposed to their other talents.  They end up meeting a hotelier named Rex Reinhardt (Stuart Whitman) who, after some poorly-defined drama involving his duplicitous chief of security (John Ericson), ends up opening a resort with the two of them.  Fans of the James Bond franchise will be happy to see Walter Gotell, who played the head of the KGB opposite Roger Moore in several films, cast as a writer who romances one of the sisters.

It’s kind of a sad fantasy when you consider that this is the second-to-last episode of the original Fantasy Island and the best they could do for this story were the Landers sisters and Stuart Whitman.  Not only were the guest stars not particularly inspiring but the fantasy itself didn’t really make much sense.

As for the other fantasy, it does feature a big-name guest star.  Sammy Davis, Jr. plays the legendary dancer, Bojangles!  Now, admittedly, Sammy doesn’t look particularly healthy in this particular episode.  Reportedly, by the time the 80s rolled around, all of the smoking, drinking, and drug-taking had finally started to catch up with him.  But, even while obviously ill, Sammy Davis Jr. still had the undeniable charisma of a natural-born star.  The fantasy is nothing special.  Joe Wilson (Glynn Turman) goes into the past so that he can dance with Bojangles.  However, Sammy Davis Jr. lights up the story.  He shares a wonderfully-acted scene with Ricardo Montalban, two old showbiz pros sharing what may have been a final moment together.

So, this trip to the Island was a mixed bag. Neither fantasy was particularly compelling and Tattoo’s absence was very much felt.  (Lawrence, I’ve noticed, tends to be rather judgmental of the guests which is something Tattoo never was.)  But at least Sammy Davis Jr. was there to add some life to the proceedings.

Only one more episode to go.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.3 “Moonlight”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, it’s Ponch and Jon’s anniverary!

Episode 5.3 “Moonlight”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on October 18th, 1981)

A highway accident leads to a bunch of cars flying through the air in slow motion!

Ponch works off-duty as a security guard for an action film.  Ponch being Ponch, he ends up flirting with the two female stars.  He also ends up accidentally flirting with their stunt doubles, both of whom turn out to be men wearing blonde wigs.  Oh, Ponch!

Someone is dumping toxic waste and ruining the beautiful California country side.  Ponch and Jon turn to their old friend, trucker Robbie Davis (Katherine Cannon), for help.  However, it turns out that the waste is being transported and dumped by someone close to Robbie!

There’s a lot going on in this episode but the majority of the screentime is taken up with Getraer, Grossman, Baricza, Turner, and Bonnie thinking about how to celebrate Ponch and Jon’s 4th anniversary as partners.  At one point, Getraer does point out that it’s unusual for an entire department to celebrate the anniversary of a partnership.  I’m glad that someone said that because, seriously, don’t these people have a job to do?  I mean, aren’t they supposed to be out there, issuing tickets and preventing crashes like the one that opened this episode?  You’re not getting paid to be party planners, people!

Knowing just how much Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada disliked each other when the cameras weren’t rolling, it’s hard not to feel as if there’s a bit of wish-fulfillment going on with the anniversary storyline.  Watching everyone talk about how Jon and Ponch are the perfect team, one gets the feeling that the show itself is telling its stars, “Can you two just get along?  Everyone loves you two together!”

Reportedly, by the time the fifth season rolled around, Wilcox was frustrated with always having to play second fiddle to Estrada.  Having binged the show, I can understand the source of his frustration.  During the first two seasons, Wilcox and Estrada were given roughly the same amount of screen time in each episode.  In fact, Estrada often provided the comic relief while Wilcox did the serious police work.  But, as the series progressed, the balance changed and it soon became The Ponch Show.  If there was a beautiful guest star, her character would fall for Ponch.  If there was a rescue to be conducted, Ponch would be the one who pulled it off.  When it came time to do something exciting to show off the California lifestyle, one can b sure that Ponch would be the one who got to do it.  Baker got pushed to the side.  This episode, however, allows Baker to rescue someone while Ponch watches from the background.  “See, Larry?” the show seems to be saying, “We let you do things!”

As for the episode itself, it’s okay.  There’s enough stunts and car accidents to keep the viewers happy.  That said, the toxic dump storyline plays out way too slowly.  At one point, Baricza finds a bunch of barrels off the side of the road and he looks like he’s about to start crying.  It’s an odd moment.

The episode ends with Baker and Ponch happy.  It wouldn’t last.  This would be Larry Wilcox’s final season as a member of the Highway Patrol.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.9 “Fruit of the Poisoned Tree”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

Retro television reviews returns with Miami Vice!

Episode 5.9 “Fruit of the Poisoned Tree”

(Dir by Michelle Manning, originally aired on February 3rd, 1989)

Crockett and Tubbs are trying to take down a drug dealer named Enriquez (Jeffrey Meek) but every time that they think they’ve got the guy, his shady lawyer, Sam Boyle (Stephen McHattie), is able to use a technicality to get the case tossed.  Even sending Gina in undercover backfires as Gina’s cover gets blown and a bomb meant for her kills an innocent 13 year-old instead.

Crockett thinks that Sam and his associate, Lisa Madsen (Amanda Plummer), have evidence that could put Enriquez away.  Crockett puts pressure on Lisa to become a confidential informant but Lisa is devoted to Sam.  Lisa’s father was a crusading anti-drug prosecutor who was stabbed to death and Sam has promised that he will do everything within his power to prove that her father was actually assassinated by a drug cartel.

Of course, there’s some things that Lisa doesn’t know.  Sam is heavily involved in the drug trade himself and he’s currently in debt to gangster Frank Romano (Tony Sirico, bringing some nicely realistic menace to his role).  Sam plots to double cross Enriquez to get the drugs necessary to pay off Frank.  Plus, it also turns out that Sam is the one who had Lisa’s father killed.

When Lisa (and hey, that’s my name!) finds out the truth, she uses her legal training to seek her own revenge.  Enriquez has been arrested due to evidence that Lisa gave Crockett.  But when Lisa reveals herself to have been Crockett’s informant, the case is tossed because Lisa violated attorney/client privilege.  This frees up Enriquez to kill Sam right before Sam gets onto a private plane that would have taken him to freedom.  The episode ends with Enriquez getting arrested yet again and Lisa staring down at Sam’s dead body.

This was a pretty good episode, especially considering that it aired during the final season.  It feels like a throwback to the first two seasons, where the morality was always ambiguous and pretty much no one got a happy ending.  Lisa may have gotten revenge for the killing of her father but she did it by arranging the murder of  a man who she had spent years worshipping.  The Vice Squad takes down a drug dealer but not before an innocent boy is murdered.  The only reason that they’re going to a conviction this time is because they actually witnesses Enriquez killing Sam Boyle.  Otherwise, the case probably would have gotten thrown out again.

Miami Vice was always at its strongest when it examined futility of the war on drugs.  There’s a lot of money to found in the drug trade and there’s always someone willing to step up and replace anyone who the Vice Squad actually manages to take down.  This episode may end with Enriquez defeated but there’s no doubt that someone else will step into his shoes.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 4.16 “Stakeout”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, the detectives take over someone else’s house.

Episode 4.16 “Stakeout”

(Dir by John McNaughton, originally aired on March 15th, 1996)

When a young man confesses to helping an older man carry out a series of murders, the Homicide Squad stakes out the older man’s house.  Jim True-Frost and Kate Walsh play the owners of the home that the squad takes over.  The husband is out of work.  The wife has a habit of oversharing.  While they try to adjust to having cops hanging out in their living room, the detectives adjust to the idea that Bayliss may be leaving them.

Once again, Bayliss is thinking about leaving Homicide.  This has been a recurring theme with Bayliss, ever since he failed to close the Adena Watson case.  (In this episode, he mentions that his number one suspect — Risley Tucker — has recently died.)  Bayliss’s complaint is that he still feels like he barely knows the other detectives.  He mentions that he’s never even been to Pembleton’s house.  Pembleton asks if Bayliss is really that surprised that Pembleton might want time to himself when he’s not on the clock.  Bayliss talks about how the Vice Squad regularly has barbecues.  He talks about the comradery that he felt when he was on the Governor’s security detail.  But Homicide tends to attract the misanthropes and the eccentrics.

Of course, Bayliss doesn’t leave Homicide.  At the end of the episode, he takes one look at the board and sees that he still has one open case.  “I can’t leave until the Lambert case is closed,” Bayliss says while Pembleton smiles.

Giardello, meanwhile, is struggling with the knowledge that his daughter is getting married to a man that he’s never even met.  Giardello has been invited to the wedding in San Francisco but he keeps finding excuses not to go.  Pembleton finally convinces Giardello that he needs to go to his daughter’s wedding.  Unfortunately, when Giardello arrives at the airport, he’s told that all flights have been grounded due to the weather.  So, Giardello misses the wedding regardless.

Eventually, the killer returns to his home.  He’s a stout man who looks like he should be selling insurance.  Bayliss and Pembleton arrest him and the stakeout ends.  The husband, who has been out looking for a job, pulls up just as Bayliss and Pembleton are leaving.  Life goes on for everyone but the dead.

This episode was okay.  I appreciated that it was a return to the character-driven drama of the earlier seasons.  The snowy imagery brought a lot of atmosphere to the episode and director John McNaughton (of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer fame) did a good job framing scenes that could have come across as being excessively talky in lesser hands.  That said, the husband and the wife were not that interesting and I never really bought the idea that they would pour out all of their marital woes to a bunch of strangers in their living room.

This is my final Homicide review for 2025.  Retro Television Reviews is taking a break for the holidays!  Homicide will return on January 11th, 2026.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.6 “Aloha Slater”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime and Tubi!

This week, Zack has a chance to get ride of his main frenemy!

Episode 1.6 “Aloha Slater”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 23rd, 1989)

Zack Morris used to be the “top dog” at Bayside but now that Slater has arrived, no one cares about Zack’s pathetic little third place ribbon that he got at a track meet.  Instead, they care about the giant trophy that Slater won at his latest wrestling match.

However, there may be hope on the horizon!  Slater’s father, Major Martin Slater (Gerald Castillo), has been offered a transfer to Hawaii.  When Major Slater tells Belding that he will be removing AC from school, Screech listens from inside a filing cabinet.  Major Slater can’t wait to go to Hawaii but AC isn’t so sure.  He’s finally got friends and he’s winning trophies!  Major Slater leaves it up to his son.  If AC Slater wants to go to Hawaii, the family will transfer.  If AC wants to stay in California, they will.

Zack decides that AC has to go to Hawaii.  He convinces Lisa, Kelly, and Jessie that AC is dying of a mysterious disease and that his only hope for survival is moving to Hawaii.  Zack sprinkles fire ants on AC’s back to make AC herk and jerk, as if he’s having a spasm.  “This is study hall, not soul train!” the teacher announces.  That teacher, by the way, was played by Dustin Diamond’s father.

Zack convinces everyone to treat AC like crap.  He also steals AC’s wrestling trophy.  AC announces that he’s going to Hawaii.  Kelly replies, “And I’m going with him!”

Zack is stunned.  I’m stunned, as well.  How exactly is Kelly going to go with him?  Are her poor, salt-of-the-Earth parents okay with moving to one of the most expensive states to live in?  At least the Slaters have a home and a good job waiting for them in the Aloha State.

(Actually, now that I think about it and I remember Saved By The Hell Hawaiian Style, Kelly did have that uncle who lived in Hawaii so I guess it’s not as out-there a development as I initially though.)

Kelly tells Slater that she knows he’s dying.  Slater realizes that he’s been set up.  It’s time for another prank!  AC’s father turns out to be remarkably okay with staying in California.  He’s also okay with pretending to be insane and throwing a grenade at Zack.

Watching this episode, it occurred to me that, during the first season at least, Mario Lopez was clearly the star of the show.  While Mark-Paul Gosselaar was still trying a little bit too hard (and he wasn’t helped by some overwritten dialogue) and Dustin Diamond looked like he was about 10 years old, Mario Lopez gave a believable performance as a teenager who had finally found a home and didn’t want to leave it.  Slater’s the compelling character, the one who actually gets to grow and deal with real problems.  (Gosselaar, of course, has grown tremendously as an actor since the first season of SBTB.)

Fortunately, Slater stays in California.  Yay!  It’s hard to imagine Bayside without him.

This is my final Saved By The Bell review of 2025.  Retro Television Reviews is taken a break for the holidays so that I can focus on Awards Season and Christmas movies!  Saved By The Bell will return on January 10th, 2026.

 

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.7 “The Cretin of the Shallows”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, there’s a lot happening on the beach!

Baywatch 1.7 “The Cretin of the Shallows”

(Dir by Vern Gillum, originally aired on December 1st, 1989)

Eddie gets his wisdom teeth taken out.  Feverish and on pain-killers, he has a hallucination in which Gina Pomeroy (Holly Gagnier) kisses him.  Eddie spends the entire episode nervous that Craig is going to discover that he’s having an affair with his wife but actually, Eddie isn’t having an affair.  It’s not until the end of the episode that Gina tells Eddie that they never kissed and Eddie finally starts to relax.  Gina promises not to tell Craig because “I think it’s sweet.”  Myself, I’m just curious as to how stupid Eddie actually is.

Shauni and Jill deal with a teenage boy who has made a bet with his friends that he’ll be able to get a kiss from both of them.

And a horrifying serial killer (Robert Trebor) is stalking the night, brutally murdering people on the beach.

One of these storylines is not like the other!

The first season of Baywatch was seriously weird.  Light-hearted lifeguard hi-jinx would be mixed in with scenes of people being murdered.  Mitch and Craig weren’t just lifeguards.  They were also cops who solved mysteries (Kind of like Baywatch Nights!) and they put their lives at risk to do so.  Remember how I mentioned that Gina told Eddie that they never kissed?  She told him that after she had been rescued from the serial killer.  Gina nearly died!  Neither Gina nor Craig seemed to be too upset about that, though.  I would be a little bit traumatized but that’s just me.

This episode really didn’t work for me.  Personally, I like the light-hearted stuff.  It’s dumb but, at heart, Baywatch’s appeal is that it’s a dumb show with nice scenery.  Tossing a serial killer into the mix just made things unpleasant.  It didn’t feel like it belonged on a show about people running on the beach in red bathing suits.

This is my last Baywatch review of 2025.  Retro Television Reviews will be taking a break for the holidays so that I can focus on Awards Season and Christmas movies!  Baywatch will return on January 10, 2026.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.18 “The Art of Death”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week’s episode is actually decent.

Episode 1.18 “The Art of Death”

(Dir by Ken Wiederhorn, originally aired on March 12th, 1989)

Jack (Carey Scott) is a talented artist and college student who has a crush on Joan (Laura Schaefer).  When Joan’s jock boyfriend humiliates Jack, Jack suddenly finds himself approached by The Phantom (Judd Omen), a masked figure who claims that he can kill Jack’s enemies if Jack draws a picture of him doing it.  After the jock is killed in a treadmill accident, Joan sees the picture that Jack drew and decides she doesn’t want anything to do with Jack.  The Phantom suggests drawing a picture of him surprising Joan in the shower.  Jack refuses, just to discover that the picture has already been drawn and the Phantom is now holding Joan prisoner in a boiler room.  Jack draws a picture of the Phantom being sucked down a hole.  The Phantom vanishes but …. oh no, now Jack’s wearing the mask!  Jack was the Phantom all along!

As for the second story, Joan struggles to recover from the trauma.  In typical Freddy’s Nightmares fashion, she has a series of hallucinations that lead to her killing her psychiatrist.

This episode actually worked!  The first story was genuinely creepy.  The second story was predictable but it featured a good performance from Laura Schaefer and the action moved at a decent pace.  I’m going to give the majority of the credit to director Ken Wiederhorn, who previously directed one of my favorite zombie films, 1977’s Shock Waves.

This is my final Freddy’s Nightmares review for 2025.  Retro Television Review is taking a break for the holidays, so I can focus on Awards Season and Christmas movies!  Freddy’s Nightmares will return on January 9th.