I watched an episode of this show on Saturday morning. My musical tastes pretty much start and end with EDM. Sorry, Austin.
Big Brother 28 (24/7, CBS, Paramout+, Pluto TV)
I’ve been sharing my thoughts on the show that I love to hate over at the RealityTVChat Blog. Feel free to leave a comment over there because, right now, the blog is not quite living up to the chat part of the name.
The Larry Sanders Show (HBOMax)
It’s a funny show and it helps to ease my anxiety. I’ve watched quite a few episodes this week.
Rogue’s Gallery (NightFlight+)
I watched an episode about John Dillinger on Friday. Now there was a handsome bank robber!
Saved By The Bell (Tubi)
Running Zack! I’ll be posting a review of this week’s episode in a bit.
Survivor 50 (CBS, Wednesday Night)
CBS has been re-airing Survivor 50 after episodes of Big Brother. I missed Survivor 50 when it first aired and I’m still struggling to get into it right now. I prefered Survivor when it was only an hour long. I have ADHD so asking me to concentrate for 90 minutes is a bit much.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, Eddie suffers a serious injury.
A quick note, before we begin: this episode was actually the 16th episode to air during the second season but apparently, it was originally meant to be the 13th episode and, in reruns, it usually airs after the Reunionepisode. I’ve decided to go with the production order for the purpose of these reviews. Of course, it really doesn’t matter because it’s not like Baywatch had any use for continuity to begin with.
Episode 2.13 “Now Sit Right Back and You’ll Hear a Tale”
(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on February 24th, 1992)
After rescuing a jet skier who ran out of fuel in the middle of the ocean, Eddie and Shauni discover a previously unchartered island. (Or, at least, that’s what we’re told. The beach that Eddie and Shauni explore is obviously the same beach from last week’s Reunionepisode.) On the beach, they find Gilligan (Bob Denver) and Mary Ann (Dawn Wells), who have been stranded on the island ever since the 60s. Eddie and Shauni take them back to civilization.
Captain Thorpe is so impressed with Gilligan and Mary Ann’s story that he decides that he’s going to start his own media company and produce a miniseries about their life on the Island. He also thinks that it would be a good idea to go back to the island and rescue the other castaways. (Gee, you think?) He arranges for a three-hour expedition to the island. Garner will serve as the skipper. Eddie will be the first mate. Harvey is coming along as a professor, for some reason. Shauni wants to star in the miniseries so she decides to dress up like a movie star and come on the tour as well.
Uh-oh, there’s a storm! Everyone ends up washed up on the island. Eddie finds himself torn between Mary Ann and Shauni but then he realizes that Gilligan is the one who truly loves Mary Ann….
No, I’m not making this up. Stop it, I swear I’m not.
Eventually, Eddie wakes up in Baywatch Headquarters. It turns out that he slipped and hit his head earlier and the entire episode has been a dream. (Shocker!) It sound like Eddie probably has a severe concussion but no one seems to be too concerned about that.
Hasselhoff appears for a few minutes at the start and the end of the episode. Apparently, he knew better than to board the boat.
Oh God, this episode. Well, actually, this episode makes sense once you learn that Douglas Schwartz (who both directed this week and also served as executive producer of the show) was the nephew of Sherwood Schwartz, the producer of Gilligan’s Island. It’s a silly episode but Baywatch is a silly show so that’s to be expected. The episode’s main mistake is that it opens with Eddie watching an episode of Gilligan’s Island and then it shows us Eddie slipping and hitting his head. As a result, we pretty much know the whole episode is a dream from the start and we spend the entire episode waiting for Eddie to wake up. It’s kind of boring.
Next week …. oh, who knows? I’m sure it’ll be something involving a lot of slow motion running on the beach.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!
Let’s go to prison! Is Freddy coming?
Episode 2.21 “Prisoner of Love”
(Dir by Richard T. Schor, originally aired on March 4th, 1990)
A flakey Episcopalian named Father Jarvis (Vincent Baggetta) is appointed the new chaplain of Springwood Prison. Jarvis has just returned from Haiti and has a rather liberal outlook towards prison reform. When he falls in love with Death Row prisoner Violet (Maria Richwine), he gives her a Haitian drug that will make it appear as if she’s died. He promises her that he will dig her up from the prison graveyard before she suffocates. Unfortunately, Jarvis oversleeps and Violet suffocates in her coffin.
Still, another prisoner named Brenda (Tara Buckman) overheard Jarvis talking to Violet and she decides that she wants the same drug. Jarvis gives it to her but it turns out that Jarvis is also being haunted by the ghost of Violet. Violet says that she can’t move on until Brenda forgives her for killing Brenda’s boyfriend. Brenda finds herself being held captive by the crazed Father Jarvis.
This episode was the second-to-late for Freddy’s Nightmares and, unfortunately, it’s not very good. Between the histrionic acting and the predictable plot, this story really makes you wish that Freddy was doing something more than just introducing it. As it was, this episode really reminded me of how limiting the show’s format was. Whenever something scary happens, it’s always a given that it will turn out to be a dream. It’s predictable and a little bit dull, unless it’s one of the rare episodes in which Freddy actually played a role in the story.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.
Life is getting dark in Boston!
Episode 4.4 “The Naked and the Dead”
(Dir by Leo Penn, originally aired on October 30th, 1985)
This episode opens with Dr. Craig in an even worse mood than usual. There’s two newspapers in Boston and they each have a totally different weather forecast. One says that the day is going to be warm and sunny. The other says to expect rain. How is Dr. Craig supposed to know whether or not take an umbrella to the hospital!? Ellen, meanwhile, is preparing for Stephen’s funeral, which is going to be held later in the day.
Yes, Dr. Craig does go to the hospital on the day of his son’s funeral. He says that he has no choice because his patients need him but it’s obvious that the hospital is his way of avoiding the grief and guilt that he feels over the death of his son. Ellen worries about whether or not Stephen will be buried in a comfortable suit. Dr. Craig yells at a post-op patient for smoking and eating too much. They’re both dealing with their sadness.
Dr. Westphall, meanwhile, deals with his nonstop depression by coming up with new (and impractical) community projects for the hospital. In this episode, he leaves Tommy with a babysitter so that he can try to persuade the Board of Directors to fund his latest project, a clinic devoted to battling malnutrition. The Board turns him down. Westphall returns home a depressed. That’s nothing new. Westphall is always depressed. That said, this was the first episode in which I really felt as if I understood Westphall’s depression. Westphall feels guilty because, for all of his medical training, he still doesn’t understand his son’s autism. So, instead of dealing with Tommy, Westphall throws himself into the hospital. He’s really not that much different from Dr. Craig.
While that’s going on, Bobby hooks up with a physical therapist at the hospital. Nurse Lucy (Jennifer Savidge) steals his scrubs and we get the sight of a half-naked Mark Harmon running through the hospital. Meanwhile, an aspiring teenage photographer (Robert Romanus — DAMONE FROM FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH!) is beaten up when he sells some bad drugs to the other inhabitants of the group home where he lives. The photographer is dead by the end of the episode. It’s just that type of day.
This episode ends with Dr. Craig and his wife going to the funeral. It’s raining, of course.
Wow, what a depressing episode! Fortunately, the strong ensemble cast kept things bearable, even though there wasn’t much happiness to be found over the course of the hour. Still, I worry about Dr. Craig. He really does seem like he’s just a few days away from snapping. Hopefully, he’ll express his grief at some point. It’s not good to hold all that in. We know there’s a bar near the hospital and Dr. Craig seems like he’s on the verge of becoming a regular.
Are things going to continue to get dark or is Boston going to see happier day? We’ll find out next week!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
This week, the story of the snow queen comes to a close.
Episode 1.14 “The Snow Queen: Part Two”
(Dir by Richard Colla, originally aired on March 30th, 1985)
The second part of The Snow Queen saga opens with a stylish action sequence. As Huey Lewis sings I Want A New Drug on the soundtrack, we watch as both Molinas (Dennis Franz) and Hunter approach, from opposite sides, the boat where Sally LaPone is hiding out with one of her friends. Molinas is approaching the boat so that he can murder Sally for the mob bosses in New York. Hunter, on the other hand, is approaching the boat to try to save Sally’s life. The guards that surround the boat have no idea what’s going on and they end up getting into a gunfight with both Molinas and Hunter. Molinas, being the sleaze that he is, pretends that he drew his gun to help Hunter as opposed to killing Sally.
Meanwhile, at a club, a smitten Vic Terranova (Dennis Farina) pushes McCall, who is working undercover, to take the stage. Shots of McCall performing are mixed with shots of Molinas and Hunter shooting people and Sally once again escaping.
Molinas wants to kill Sally while McCall wants to use Sally’s testimony to take down Terranova and his drug-fueled empire. Hunter wants to stop Molinas from killing anyone else and Sally just wants to be left alone. The episode does a good job of switching from one character to the next, capturing the desperation of everyone involved. One especially memorable sequence features Dennis Franz showing Sally’s pictures to a group of teenagers outside of a punk club. Just from the reactions of Franz and the punks, one gets the feeling that the sequence wasn’t actually scripted. There’s a gritty authenticity to the action in this episode and it makes for compelling viewing.
Of course, this is an episode of Hunter so everything does eventually lead to another shoot out. Both Vic and Molinas go down in a hail of bullets and it’s actually kind of a shame. Both Farina and Franz did such a good job in these two episodes that it’s unfortunate that their characters won’t be able to return in the future. Franz, in particular, was brilliantly sleazy as the loathsome Molinas. If only he hadn’t pulled that gun on Hunter, Molinas could have been one of those recurring villains that audiences would love to hate.
Still, all things come to an end and, since this is Hunter, they end in gunfire instead of arrests. Sally survives but the final shot of the episode reveals that she’s been traumatized beyond belief by everything she’s seen and experienced. McCall’s hope was that Sally would get immunity in return for testifying against Vic. But, with Vic dead, Sally really doesn’t have any leverage that she could use to avoid jail.
Seriously, this was a dark episode! But it was a compelling one and I’m glad that, for once, Hunter showed that not everyone just shrug off violence and move on. Not everyone is Rick Hunter.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! This Thursdays, I will be reviewing Alexander The Great, which was filmed in 1963 but didn’t air on CBS until 1968. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week, we take a look at William Shatner and Adam West in Alexander The Great, a pilot that never became a series.
Episode 1.1 “Alexander The Great”
(Dir by Phil Karlson, originally aired on January 26th, 1968)
Greek leader Alexander the Great (a very blonde William Shatner) is determined to defeat the forces of King Darius and conquer all of Persia. But, before he can fight his latest battle, he has to rescue his kidnapped best friend Cleander (Adam West), calm the nerves of his mentor Antigonus (Joseph Cotten), and deal with two insubordinate generals (John Cassavetes and Simon Oakland). Only then will Alexander be ready to defeat the fearsome, beheading-obsessed Persian general, Memmon (Cliff Osmond, wearing a truly horrifying wig and fake beard).
This hour-long episode features a lot of talking, a lot of scheming, and one good battle scene. Unfortunately, that good battle scenes becomes a lot less impressive once you discover that it was lifted from the 1959 film, The Giant of Marathon. As for the scheming, it’s not really a surprise when the generals plays by Cassavetes and Oakland reveal that they’re planning on assassinating Alexander during the battle. Both characters are so obviously villainous that their very presence amongst the ranks will lead most viewers to doubt whether Alexander is truly the tactical genius that everyone seems to think he is.
For most viewers, the main appeal of Alexander the Great will be the chance to see William Shatner and Adam West playing best friends. This pilot was made before Shatner was cast as Captain Kirk and West as Batman. While West gives a relatively sober performance as Cleander, Shatner shows that he had all of his famous acting tics long before he boarded the Enterprise. Shatner delivers every line as if he’s expecting to be handed an Emmy at any moment. The halting cadence is present. The overly dramatic punctuation is present. The habit of telegraphing every line and emotion by moving his head is present. This is the type of performance that feels more like William Shatner imitating himself than actually trying to play a character. Today, we’re all used to William Shatner poking fun at his reputation so it’s always a bit jarring to watch something like Alexander the Great and see just how seriously Shatner used to take himself.
Alexander the Great ends with Alexander achieving victory over both Memmon and his own duplicitous generals. He buries Antigonous, who was earlier murdered by the mutineers. And then, with a big smile on his face, Alexander hopes on his horse and rides off with Cleander and his surviving generals. Watching Shatner riding his horse, it becomes obvious that, had this pilot become a show, it would have been a western that just happened to take place in ancient Greece and which featured togas and mini-skirts instead of chaps and hats.
This pilot was shot in 1963 but it was rejected by the network and shelved. In 1968, when West was Batman and Shatner was Kirk, the pilot was taken out of storage and aired as an episode of an anthology show. Needless to say, it didn’t lead to a series. Adam West later poked fun at the pilot in his autobiography, saying that it was the greatest waste of an hour ever made. I think West was a bit too hard on the pilot. It’s not terrible as much as it’s just bland. No production featuring not only Shatner and West but also Joseph Cotten, Simon Oakland, and John Cassavetes has a right to be this mild.
One does wonder how, if the pilot had become a series, it would have deal with Alexander eventually drinking himself to death. Imagine what Shatner and West could have done with that!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.
(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on December 7th, 1988)
As a show, 1st & Ten has a weird habit of introducing new characters and pretending as if they’ve always been around even if they’ve never been seen or even mentioned before. In this episode, we meet Coleman King (Richard Lawson), the team’s veteran running back who fears that he’s on the verge of being dropped from the Bulls. Coleman is also an old friend of TD Parker’s (O.J. Simpson).
TD is conflicted. He knows that Coleman is past his prime. The Bulls are on the verge of signing a new running back and, when they do, TD knows that he’s probably going to have to cut Colman from the team. As a former player, TD knows how painful it is when your professional career is murdered and no one is held responsible for it. Complicating matters is the clear attraction between TD and Coleman’s wife, Della (Vanessa Bell Callaway).
While TD tries to figure out how to protect both the team and Coleman, Ernie Denardo runs into his ex-girlfriend, Brenda (Shannon Wilcox), at a bar. Brenda has some scary people after her because of her unpaid gambling debts. She tells Denardo that she has money on the next Bulls game. If the Bulls win by more than ten, her debt will be paid off and then she and Denardo can be together.
The next day, the Bulls are on the verge of winning by 9. With only a few seconds left in the game, Denardo has the team kick a field goal so that they can win by 12. Denardo returns to Brenda’s apartment and discovers that she’s gone. It was all a scam, hatched by Brenda and her real boyfriend.
In tears, Denardo tells TD that he has to quit as coach of the Bulls.
TD argues that Denardo didn’t do anything wrong because he didn’t have money on the game. TD points out that the field goal unit needed the practice and that the Bulls need as many points as possible to clinch home field advantage in the playoffs. The episode ends with TD embracing the sobbing Denardo. Awwww! Is there nothing an OJ Simpson pep talk can’t fix?
After last week’s bizarre episode, this was a traditional 1st & Ten episode. This episode served as a reminder of just how bland OJ Simpson was as an actor. That said, Reid Shelton did a good job as the grief-stricken Denardo and the gambling subplot at least did have a few interesting twists. By the standards of 1st & Ten, that makes this episode a success.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
Come aboard, we’re expecting you!
Episode 8.4 “Ace Meets the Champ/Why Justin Can’t Read/Call Me a Doctor”
(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on October 6th, 1994)
Malcolm Bosworth (James Noble) boards the ship with his son (Dick Billingsley) and his son’s tutor (Jeannie Wilson). When both the tutor and Doc Bricker suggest that his son might be struggling academically because he’s dyslexic, Malcolm replies, “My son’s not retarded!” Booooo, Malcolm, booooo! In Malcolm’s defense, he comes to see the error of his ways but still, booooo!
Walter Milner (Louis Giambalvo) is a furniture salesman who tells Margo Bush (Tovah Feldshuh) that he’s a doctor. Margo’s mother (Doris Roberts) really wants her daughter to marry a doctor. Wow, I bet that will lead to some wacky complications!
Those two stories are both well-handled and feature some likable performances. James Noble makes Malcolm into a sympathetic figure, even if he is totally incorrect about dyslexia. But neither one of those stories is the main event.
The main event is Ace and Isaac boxing Ernie Jordan (Dick Butkus). Ernie is a professional boxer. Ace and Isaac are not. Ernie was originally scheduled to take part in an exhibition match for charity but, when his opponent gets sick, it looks like the children’s hospital will just have to close. Ernie’s publicist, Gaylan (Jennifer Holmes), is a former girlfriend of Ace’s. She left Ace because she felt he was irresponsible. Isaac and Gopher decide that the best way for Ace to prove that he isn’t irresponsible would be for him to volunteer to fight a professional boxer. Ace agrees. After Isaac writes a poem ridiculing the champ, Ernie declares that he’ll fight both Isaac and Ace at the same time.
Wow, sounds like Ace and Isaac are in a lot of trouble! Fortunately, for them, Ernie is a nice guy and he throws the fight and pretends to get knocked out. The children’s hospital is saved, Ernie’s reputation is probably ruined, and Ace proves …. well, I don’t know what Ace proves. Ace’s goal is to show that he’s not just a rich kid with an easy job but that’s a little bit difficult because he is a rich kid with an easy job. Ace is the Jack Schlossberg of The Love Boat, just with better hair. Still, Ace gets a girlfriend for the final five minutes or so of the episode so that’s a good thing.
This episode was pleasant, though it’s hard not to feel that Gopher would have been a more amusing opponent for Ernie Jordan. Pat Klous still seems to be struggling to fit in with the rest of the cast as Judy. Still, Isaac’s brief Mohammad Ali impersonation made me smile and Ted McGinley’s hair was perfect. With this episode, The Love Boat shows its age a little but luckily, our crew is still capable of delivering an enjoyable if not exactly memorable cruse.
Today would have been the birthday of the late Tony Sirico. Sirico was a former mob associate who, after serving a term in prison, reinvented himself as an actor. Because of his background, he was often typecast as gangsters but he also proved himself to be an intelligent performer with perfect comedic timing. For a lot of us, he will always be remembered for playing Paulie on The Sopranos.
Today scene that I love comes from The Sopranos and it features excellent work from the entire cast, especially Tony Sirico. In this scene from the 2002 episode “The Strong, Silent Type,” the Sopranos and their associates stage an intervention for Christopher Moltisanti and it goes about as well as you might expect. In just five minutes, this scenes manages to capture everything that The Sopranos was about, as well as giving each member of the cast a chance to shine. Since this is Sirico’s birthday, I’ll just recommend that viewers especially watch Paulie’s facial expressions while Adriana reads her letter to Christopher.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
This week, almost everyone’s got a secret.
Episode 4.12 “Cruz Control”
(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on December 13th, 1988)
I guess someone in the Pacific Blue writers’ room finally remembered that Amy Hunter joined the cast at the start of season 4 because her character, Jamie Stickland, actually gets to do something in this episode. In fact, we ever see the odd loft that she is apparently still sharing with Russ Granger.
This episode opens with Jamie gunning down a Korean smuggler. Even though it’s a “good” shooting, it’s still Jamie’s second killing in just a handful of months. Lt. Susan Jessup (Holly Gagnier, who previously played Parker Stevenson’s little-seen wife on the first season of Baywatch) uses the shooting as leverage to try to force Jamie to become a mole for Internal Affairs. When Jamie refuses, Susan threatens to reveal that Jamie lied on her police application when she said she had never been convicted of a felony. It turns out that, when Jamie was 15, she was convicted of manslaughter after she shot her abusive foster father. When Jamie continues to resist the pressure to spy on her fellow cops, Susan suddenly talks about “Internal Affairs is very erotic.” By the end of the episode, it appears that Jamie is ready to become an IA informant so I guess the erotic line worked.
Meanwhile, Bobby Cruz goes AWOL for two days so that he can track down Lee Kwan (Karen Kim), a model who, years earlier, accidentally ran over Bobby’s parents while driving too fast. Lee was acquitted in court and Bobby has been dreaming of revenge ever since. When it becomes apparent that Lee has become involved with a smuggling operation, Bobby goes rogue to try to get her sent to prison.
Meanwhile, Monica goes undercover as a model because, on this show, all bicycle cops can go undercover at a moment’s notice. The undercover storyline doesn’t really go anywhere but it does give Monica an excuse to show TC her portfolio. Cory sighs dramatically and rolls her eyes, which is pretty much her standard response to Monica doing anything that would indicate that she’s still alive.
This was a busy episode. All of the regular characters, with the exception of Darlene Vogel’s Chris Kelly, made an appearance. That said, busy does not necessarily equal good or even interesting. Bobby’s decision to go AWOL never made much sense but then again, Pacific Blue itself has never made much sense. A bunch of people barking out orders while wearing bicycle shorts will never make sense. At the very least, though, we did get to see Mario Lopez doing the “big” acting. There was never an episode of Saved By The Bell in which Slater got hooked on rage-inducing drugs but Pacific Blue gives us an idea of what that would have been like.
By the end of the episode, Lee Kwan is dead, Bobby is back on his bike, and Jamie’s a rat. Hopefully, this will somehow lead to TC getting sent to prison for embezzlement or something. That’s my hope!
Through the Shattered Lens 