Horror Film Review: Patrick (dir by Richard Franklin)

Posted on October 20, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Patrick, a 1978 horror film from Australia, opens with the title character (played by Robert Thompson) watching as his mother makes love to her boyfriend. The first thing that we notice about Patrick is his stare. It’s intense and more than a little unsettling. (Actually, to be honest, the first thing we notice about Patrick is his head of blonde hair. But that stare is a close second.) The next thing that we notice about Patrick is that he doesn’t speak. Instead, he just stares. Eventually, when his mother and her boyfriend are taking a bath, Patrick drops a heater into the water and electrocutes both of them.

Yes, Patrick has some issues.

When we next meet Patrick, three years have passed. He’s in a coma now and spends all of his time laying in a bed in a private hospital. Everyone says that he’s brain dead, despite the fact that he still reflexively spits. The head nurse, the bitter Matron Cassidy (Julia Blake), hates the fact that Patrick is being kept alive. As she tells a new nurse, she feels that he is a waste of space and she wishes that she could just turn off the machines that are keeping Patrick alive.

Strangely, Patrick shows no physical signs of having been in a coma for three years. (One doctor points out that Patrick hasn’t even lost any weight during his time in the hospital.) And then, there’s the fact that Patrick’s eyes are always open. Even in a coma, he has the same intense stare.

An idealistic new nurse named Kathie (Susan Penhaligon) takes an interest in Patrick. Over the objections of Matron Cassidy, Katie tries to talk to Patrick. Kathie becomes convinced that Patrick’s spitting is not merely a reflex action but it’s actually his attempt to communicate. Kathie becomes obsessed with proving the Patrick can still respond to the outside world.

And, in any other film, this is the type of storyline that would ultimately lead to a very inspiring conclusion, in which the idealistic nurse’s faith is validated and the stricken patient is finally allowed to find a measure of happiness and dignity.

However, Patrick is a horror film.

Kathie does eventually discover that Patrick can see and hear. Patrick does know what’s going on in the outside world. But what Kathie doesn’t expect is that Patrick turns out to be a bit of an obsessively jealous pervert. Also, it turns out that Patrick has the power of telekinesis. Soon, he’s using a typewriter to send Kathie messages like, “It’s time for Patrick’s handjob.”

Patrick also uses his powers to punish any man who he feels is getting too close to Kathie. This includes Kathie’s husband, Ed (Rod Mullinar). First, Patrick causes Ed to seriously burn his hands on a hot casserole dish. Then he traps Ed in an elevator, forcing Kathie to beg for her husband’s life.

Patrick is a surprisingly well-acted and effective little horror film, one that spends as much time on maintaining the proper melancholy atmosphere as it does on trying to shock the audience. The end result is an intelligent little gem that will make you think even as it attempts to scare you. That said, my main memory of Patrick will always be that stare. Seriously, it was so creepy!

A remake was released in 2013 but I have yet to see it. However, I have seen the film’s unofficial Italian sequel and that’s what I’ll be reviewing next!

Hallmark Review: Jesse Stone: Lost In Paradise (2015, dir. Robert Harmon)

Posted on October 20, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

Well, it’s been 5 years since I last watched a Jesse Stone movie. That was Jesse Stone: No Remorse (2010). I remember that one being quite awful. This one isn’t. I hope this is a sign that Hallmark is pivoting when it comes to the material in their films. Yes, it’s just an average detective story, but it looks, feels, and uses much more adult material. Thank goodness! At times I feel like I’m watching Hallmark: The Heart Of Infantile Adults network. Yes, Jesse bitches a little bit about cellphones in this, but I buy that as part of his character, not as something put in to pander to people who don’t like cellphones. In fact, he really doesn’t complain about cellphones in general, but about texting.

The first question on your mind is probably whether you can jump into the series with this film. Yes, but you will feel like you have been dropped into a moving current. You really won’t be lost, but it seems to very much pick up where it left off. In this case, Jesse Stone (Tom Selleck) is working in Paradise, Massachusetts. The movie revolves around an unsolved killing that has been attributed to a man known as the Boston Ripper, played by Luke Perry. But it’s still an open case cause they really can’t quite pin it on him even though they have put him behind bars for three similar murders. Stone is curious to figure it out.

There’s also this subplot involving this girl that Stone finds on the street and helps out. It might have ties to earlier material, but the only tie to the material in this movie I noticed is that helping her is like preventing a possible future victim of someone like the Boston Ripper.

There’s honestly not much else to say. The case is somewhat interesting, but the movie really isn’t about the case in particular. It’s like the title suggests, Jesse Stone is lost in the metaphorical paradise and lives in the literal town of Paradise. It’s about a transitory period in his life. Heck, they even put up this title card at the start just in case you don’t pick up on that.

If you’re used to the usual Hallmark mystery movies, then this isn’t one of them. It’s a welcome change. Nothing special, but I recommend it.

Halloween Film Review: R.L. Stine’s Mostly Ghostly: Have You Met My Ghoulfriend? (2014, dir. Peter Hewitt)

Posted on October 20, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

You might have noticed that I referred to the recent R.L. Stine movie The Cabinet Of Souls as “Children’s Horror”, but call this one “Halloween Film Review”. That’s because this movie and that one are miles apart from each other. While The Cabinet Of Souls was geared towards children, it was still a legit horror movie with genuinely creepy bad guys who did truly evil things. As you may remember, we see Dr. Hysteria kill a kid right in front of us and then say, “you were a good worker.” This is a series of lame sketches that happen to involve supernatural forces. At least this time I recognize more of the Disney crew.

That’s Eric Allan Kramer from Good Luck, Charlie that plays the dad, or for bad movie lovers: Ator from Quest For The Mighty Sword (1990) AKA Troll 3. Calum Worthy from Austin & Ally is in this as the brother of the main character. Roshon Fegan I recognize from Shake It Up and he plays one of the ghosts from the first Mostly Ghostly movie. And for some reason they also roped Bella Thorne into this. I say it that way because she is barely in the movie. I know it’s cause her mom Tamera Thorne is a co-producer, but it’s a complete waste having her in this. Speaking of other well known actors who are barely in the movie. This was the last onscreen appearance of Joan Rivers. Who I believe is one scene.

The movie begins with our main character Max Doyle (Ryan Ochoa) walking past a graveyard. Apparently, he has some ring that protects him from this guy.

That’s Toni Basil who is going to give us a big exposition dump. I apologize, but after reviewing Slaughterhouse Rock, I will think every supernatural character who only exists to explain things is Toni Basil. This is actually some creature named Phears (Charlie Hewson). Because he plays on your worst fears of bad children’s cartoon villains. He resurrects Emma Twitchel (Caroline Lagerfelt) who was once the star of The Moscow Circus. What a star of The Moscow Circus is doing buried in an American suburban neighborhood might confuse me if I didn’t know that Bruce Lee is buried in Seattle. He then tells us, I mean her the backstory on why he needs her. It’s a lot of crap to say that there are two teenage ghosts, a world domination plan, and a magic ring that Max has that prevents it. Phears wants her to go and posses Max to drive him crazy since Phears himself can’t leave the cemetery. What follows is a bunch of stupid comedy sketches. Seriously, the film barely cares about it’s own plot.

Like this scene where the ghosts help lift Max up the rope during gym class. I’m sorry, they help him up Lester. The gym teacher names all of her equipment. The side horse is Jimmy, the medicine ball is Eric, and the high bar is Tiffany. That combined with the scene where one of the ghosts looks inside of him to find a sleeping woman means if I were in middle school I might think this movie has LGBT subtext in it. Has as much basis in reality as the Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985) stuff. I’ll review that soon.

As you can imagine, the rest of the film is just a series of stupid jokes revolving around being possessed and having two invisible people help out Max. It’s all super childish stuff.

The only other things I want to mention are technical.

When they look at this computer screen in the movie we see it as if we are the computer screen. Why?

Then there’s shots like these.

I can sort of understand the blurring on the ring, but what’s with the other ones? I seriously doubt anyone would be confused about where to look without the blurring.

The worst and best part is that the ending of this that seems to be setting itself up for another sequel. The worst part is that a sequel could still be in the works, but the best part is that maybe it isn’t since The Cabinet Of Souls is what they made this year. This one is a total skip.

Halloween Film Review: Dreamscape (1984, directed by Joseph Ruben)

Posted on October 20, 2015 by Jedadiah Leland

Before there was Inception, there was Dreamscape!

Dreamscape opens with the image of a woman running down a street while a red mushroom sprouts above the city behind her. Just as a radioactive cloud envelopes the woman, the scene cuts to a man named John (Eddie Albert) waking up with a scream. John is the President of the United States and he has been having reoccurring nightmares about nuclear war. The dreams have shaken him to the extent that he plans of signing a disarmament treaty with the Soviet Union.

Bob Blair (Christopher Plummer, playing one of the slick villain roles that dominated his career until he finally won an Oscar for Beginners) is a political reactionary who works for a shadowy agency that is even feared by the CIA. Determined to stop the President from signing that treaty, Blair recruits psychotic martial arts enthusiast Tommy Ray Glatman (David Patrick Kelly, of “Warriors, come out to play…” fame) to assassinate the President. Tommy is a psychic who can enter people’s dreams and when you die in a dream, you die in real life.

Tommy is a part of a government-funded research project that is headed by Dr. Peter Novotny (Max Von Sydow) and Beth DeVries (Kate Capshaw). Tommy was the program’s superstar until the arrival of Alex Gardner (Dennis Quaid). Until he was recruited by Dr. Novotny, Alex was using his psychic abilities for gambling and womanizing. Now, Alex has to use his abilities to save the President’s life.

Dreamscape came out the same year as Wes Craven’s Nightmare on Elm Street and they do share a few things in common. During one scene set in the President’s nightmare, Tommy even has razor-sharp claws. But ultimately, Nightmare and Dreamscape are two very different films. Whereas Nightmare was a horror film, Dreamscape is an adventure film with horror elements. In fact, Dreamscape feels like four different films all mashed together. It’s a political conspiracy story, with Christopher Plummer plotting to kill the President. It’s an adventure story, with Dennis Quaid as an appealing rogue. It’s a love story, as Alex and Beth fall in love while researching dreams. At times, it is also a very dark comedy, like when Alex enters the dream of a man who is terrified that his wife is cheating on him with everyone that they know.

Fans of cult cinema will appreciate that Dreamscape features one of David Patrick Kelly’s best villainous performances. In the role of Tommy, he not only gets to do his usual bravura work as a weasley psychopath but he also gets to bust out an impressive impersonation of Bruce Lee as well.

Along with David Patrick Kelly at his demented best, Dreamscape also features the Snakeman, a claymation monster who may look cheesy today but probably gave many youngsters nightmares back in 1984. Like the Snakeman, all of the film’s special effects have aged but it does not detract from the film. Since the special effects were used to create the film’s dreams, it doesn’t matter that they no longer look 100% realistic. Dreams are supposed to be strange so the cheesiness of some of the special effects actually works to Dreamscape‘s advantage.

Dreamscape may not be as well-known as Inception or Nightmare on Elm Street but it is still a fun and entertaining excursion into the dream world.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Dracula, Island of Lost Souls, The Black Cat, Son of Frankenstein

Posted on October 20, 2015 by Jedadiah Leland

Bela Lugosi was born 133 years ago today. These 4 shots from 4 films are dedicated to him.

4 Shots From 4 Films

Dracula (1931, directed by Tod Browning)

Island of Lost Souls (1932, directed by Erle C. Kenton)

The Black Cat (1934, directed by Edgar G. Ulmer)

Son of Frankenstein (1939, directed by Rowland V. Lee)

A Very Short Review of Tooken

Posted on October 20, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Why am I even reviewing Tooken?

That’s a good question. I’m about to tell you that this film sucked but the thing is, you probably know that it sucked just by the fact that the movie is named Tooken. I mean, do I even need to tell you that it’s supposed to be a parody of the Taken films? Bleh!

Originally, I was going to include this film as one of my Insomnia Files but then it occurred to me that Tooken is the type of film that gives insomnia a bad name. Seriously, go tell someone that you couldn’t sleep last night so you turned on the TV and watched Tooken.

Really? they’ll say, You stayed up all night so you could watch that crap?

And it doesn’t even matter that insomnia is something that you have no control over. Instead, it’ll all come down to the fact that you were actually awake at 4 in the morning and you were watching Tooken.

And you’ll hate yourself for it. Oh, the shame that you will feel….

Anyway, the depressing thing about Tooken is that it stars Lee Tergesen, who actually does a pretty good Liam Neeson imitation and who proved, in a short film called Into The Dark, that he deserves better than Tooken. Tergesen plays Bryan Millers, a former CIA agent who is now a mall security guard and the main joke of the film is that he’s always losing stuff and reacting to it in the style of Liam Neeson discovering that Kim has, once again, been taken. And I know that sounds like it has the potential to be funny but the joke actually wears thin pretty quickly.

(How thin? Thinner than the fabric of the nightie that I’m wearing as I type up this review it at 3 in the morning! And that’s pretty thin!)

Part of the problem with Tooken is that the Taken films don’t take themselves that seriously to begin with. In many ways, Tooken is a parody of a parody. Whenever Liam Neeson growls into that phone and lets the kidnappers know that he’s coming, he does so with just the slightest twinkle in his eye. He’s letting us know that he’s in on the joke and he understands that the entire franchise is ludicrous. There’s really not a single joke that you can make about the Taken franchise that the franchise hasn’t already made itself.

Of course, the other problem with Tooken is that it’s just not funny. In fact, it’s painfully unfunny. Watching this movie is like listening to a 3rd grader try to tell a joke and realizing, with a feeling of deepening horror, that not only have you heard the stupid joke before but the kid is totally going to screw up the delivery as well.

Back to the question that started this review. Why am I reviewing Tooken? Well, at the start of this year, I swore that I was going to make sure that this site had a review for every movie that I watched in 2015. Tooken is a film that I watched so I had to review it.

That’s right — I did it for the site.

And I did it for you, my loves.

Y’all owe me big time.

Horror on the Lens: Carnival of Souls (dir by Herk Harvey)

Posted on October 20, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Much like watching Plan 9 From Outer Space, Night of the Living Dead, Treevenge, or Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, watching the 1962 independent film Carnival of Souls is a bit of a holiday tradition here at the Shattered Lens.

And you know how much I love tradition!

Directed in a dream-like fashion by Herk Harvey (who also directed several of the educational short films that I’ve occasionally shared on this site, including Cheating, The Show-Off, and The Gossip), Carnival of Souls tells the story of Mary (Candace Hilligoss) who, after a car accident, finds herself haunted by visions of ghostly figures. Independently produced and distributed, Carnival of Souls did not get much attention when it was originally released but it is now generally acknowledged as a horror classic. Reportedly, David Lynch loves this movie and, when you watch it, you’ll be able to see why!

It’s October. It’s 11 more days ’til Halloween. It’s time to watch Carnival of Souls.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Breaks The Internet

Posted on October 19, 2015 by Arleigh

It’s not hyperbole when I say that Star Wars: The Force Awakens broke the internet tonight. Fandango announced pre-sale of tickets early by accident which caused the massive Star Wars fandom to rush on-line to be able to buy tickets before they ran out for the early showing on December 17, 2015. Well, this hasn’t gone down well with many who thought the pre-sale orders were going to go up after the trailer debuts during halftime of Monday Night Football.

I was one such out-of-luck individuals, but I remembered my days of youth when pre-ordering tickets to such event films meant going to the theater itself and buying them in person. This I did and I’m blessed to have gotten all the tickets I need.

Thus, despite Star Wars: The Force Awakens breaking the internet it would seem doing things the old-school way still rewards those who still thinks in analog and not just digital.

Now, let’s watch the latest trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens over and over before it premieres on December 18, 2015.

The Daily Horror Grindhouse: Nightmares in a Damaged Brain (directed by Romano Scavolini)

Posted on October 19, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I once read about a low-budget horror film that was released in the mid-70s. The film was advertised as being “a film that could only have been made in South America … where life is cheap!” That little bit of advertising hyperbole has always stuck with me and sometimes, when I see a particularly nasty exploitation or horror film, I find myself saying, “They must have made this movie somewhere where life is cheap!”

This, of course, brings us to Nightmares in a Damaged Brain, an Italian film that was originally released in 1981, at the height of the slasher movie boom. Nightmares is infamous as one of those gore-filled horror films that has achieved a certain amount of immortality by being banned in several different countries. It’s only been within the past few years that Nightmares has been released on DVD in the U.S. That DVD is supposedly the “uncut” version of the film but there are rumors of scenes so bloody and disturbing that they have still not seen the light of day. Usually, it’s something of a let down to finally see a film as infamous as Nightmares in a Damaged Brain. It’s rare that a film’s reality ever lives up to the rumors surrounding it. However, having seen Nightmares in a Damaged Brain, I can truly say that, if nothing else, this film had to have been made in a place where life is cheap.

Nightmares in a Damaged Brain concerns itself with George (Baird Stafford), a violent inmate at a New York insane asylum who is given an experimental drug that seems to control his violent impulses. He’s released from the hospital and, after spending some time wandering around some of the seediest sections of New York ever captured on film, he ends up at a sex club, writhing on the floor and foaming at the mouth. Apparently, that drug’s not working as well as everyone thought…

Soon, George has stolen a car and he is relentlessly driving across the country. George, it seems, is obsessed with a young boy who lives in Florida along with his loud, white trash family. Along the way to Florida, George has several gore-filled nightmares (the majority of which feature him as a bowtie-wearing child, murdering two people with an axe) and kills a few random people as well.

While the film was released to take advantage of the early 80s slasher boom, director Romano Scavolini rejected many of the conventions of slasher genre. Instead of emphasizing pretty teenagers and slick production values, Scavolini instead emphasized the sordid “reality” of the film’s rather trashy cast of characters. There’s not a likable character to be found anywhere within this film nor is there a single scene that doesn’t feel as if it’s been drenched in sleaze. An ominous atmosphere of impending, relentless doom hangs over every second of the film. This doesn’t necessarily make for an enjoyable viewing experience but it is a film that, once you start watching, is difficult to look away from.

The film’s opening credits (and the poster pictured above) claim that the gore effects were done by the famous Tom Savini. Savini has always denied having anything to do with the film and, at one point, threatened to sue the filmmakers to get his name removed from the credits. Regardless of whether Savini did them or not, the film’s gore effects are memorable and rather disturbing.

I had to take a shower after sitting through Nightmares In A Damaged Brain and I doubt I’ll ever watch it a second time. Still, I’m glad that I did watch it because this brutally effective film is truly a part of horror film history. If nothing else, I can now honestly say that I’ve seen a film that truly must have been made somewhere where life is cheap.

Horror Film Review: Bride of the Monster (directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr.)

Posted on October 19, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A few nights ago, I watched the infamous 1955 horror film, The Bride of the Monster.

This was not the first time that I had seen Bride of the Monster. (Nor is it the first time that I’ve talked about this film on this site.) As a fan of the work of the legendary director Ed Wood, I’ve seen the majority of his films, many of them several times. Bride of the Monster is not only the closest that Wood ever got to making a “legitimate” movie but it’s also my personal favorite of his films.

(Plan 9 may be fun but it has nothing on Bride of the Monster.)

As for the film’s plot — well, the story is typical Ed Wood. By that, I mean that it doesn’t make a bit of sense. There’s an old mansion in the middle of nowhere. There’s a gigantic Octopus who apparently lives in a pool of stagnant water that sits somewhere near the old mansion. There are hunters, who have a habit of vanishing whenever they wander too close to the house.

There’s also Lobo (Tor Johnson), the hulking mute who we’re assured is “harmless as a kitten.” Lobo develops a crush on Janet (Loretta King), the intrepid reporter who wanders too close to the mansion while looking for a story. Janet reminded me a lot of me, in that she wasn’t going to let a little thing like common sense get in the way of an experience.

And then, there’s Dr. Varnoff (Bela Lugosi). Dr. Varnoff is the owner of the mansion. He’s a scientist who was chased out of his home country by … well, by somebody. To be honest, it’s not always easy to figure out how Varnoff ended up in America with Lobo and a big octopus. It’s also difficult to understand why Varnoff is conducting experiments and killing people. Varnoff talks and talks about his reasons but just because a man talks doesn’t mean that he’s going to say anything.

Yes, Bride of the Monster is one of those films that makes absolutely no sense but you know what? That’s exactly why I love it. Like all of Wood’s film, it is unique. And I’d rather watch a film that is uniquely bad than one that is generically competent any day!

You have to respect the dedication of the actors who bravely pretended that they were being attacked by that octopus. For most of them, this meant laying in a shallow pool of water while grabbing hold of some rubber tentacles and thrashing about for a bit. Yes, it looks silly but that doesn’t change the fact that the actors really threw themselves into it. Even the film’s worst performances feel as if they’re being given by very dedicated actors.

It should also be noted that this was Bela Lugosi’s final film (with the exception of his posthumous appearance in Plan 9 From Outer Space). And people always seem to make fun of Lugosi’s performance here but you know what? He’s not bad at all. He brings a tragic weariness to even the most ludicrous of lines. I’m sure that Lugosi was not hoping that his career would end with something like Bride of the Monster. But he still gave it his all.

As bad as Bride of the Monster may be, Bela Lugosi is very, very good. When you watch the film, don’t judge it too harshly. Don’t focus on the awkward line readings or the nonsensical plot or …. well, just don’t focus on all the things that you usually think of as indicating whether or not a film is good or bad.

Instead, when you watch it, watch it for Bela.

You won’t be disappointed!