X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009, directed by Gavin Hood)


Decades before he joins the X-Men, James “Logan” Howlett (Hugh Jackman) is just another mutant with retractable claws and a super-healing ability that essentially makes him immortal. With his half-brother Victor Creed (Liev Schreiber), Logan fights in wars throughout the centuries. When both Logan and Creed (who share Logan’s healing abilities) survive being executed by a firing squad, they are recruited by William Stryker (Danny Huston) to serve as members of Team X. Eventually, Logan tires of being an assassin and goes off on his own. However, both Stryker and Creed have plans for him and all the other mutants that they’ve captured or killed over the years. Several familiar characters appear—Scott Summers (Tim Pocock), Gambit (Taylor Kitsch), and the Blob (Kevin Durand) amongst others—but none of them have much of the personality that made them popular to comic book readers. (Just imagine including Gambit in an X-Men film but not Rogue.) Those who made it to the end of the film were given a Patrick Stewart cameo, albeit one that used CGI to de-age Stewart and make him look like an automaton.

With the majority of the X-Men either dead or cured at the end of X-Men: The Last Stand, it only made sense to spin Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine off into his own series of films. Unfortunately, 20th Century Fox didn’t understand that the thing that made Wolverine so interesting as a character was that his past was shrouded in mystery. Their first Wolverine film revealed his origin and it turned out to be not that interesting. X2 had been filled with so many hints about Wolverine’s past that the origin story didn’t feel as if it was telling us anything that we hadn’t already figured out. Even the many fight scenes between Sabretooth and Wolverine felt dull because it was established that both of them were essentially immortal and impervious to pain.

Today, this movie is mostly remembered for featuring the first appearance of Wade Wilson, the mercenary who will eventually become Deadpool. There’s very little of Deadpool to be found in this film’s version of Wilson. He tells a few jokes before getting his lips sewn shut. Imagine introducing a character who is affectionately known as “the merc with a mouth” and then rendering him silent for the majority of the movie. In Deadpool 2, there’s a scene where Deadpool goes back in time and kills this earlier version of Wade Wilson (or Weapon XI as he’s called here). The audience I saw the film with cheered.

Horror Film Review: Patrick (dir by Richard Franklin)


Patrick_(film)

Patrick, a 1978 horror film from Australia, opens with the title character (played by Robert Thompson) watching as his mother makes love to her boyfriend.  The first thing that we notice about Patrick is his stare.  It’s intense and more than a little unsettling.  (Actually, to be honest, the first thing we notice about Patrick is his head of blonde hair.  But that stare is a close second.)  The next thing that we notice about Patrick is that he doesn’t speak.  Instead, he just stares.  Eventually, when his mother and her boyfriend are taking a bath, Patrick drops a heater into the water and electrocutes both of them.

Yes, Patrick has some issues.

When we next meet Patrick, three years have passed.  He’s in a coma now and spends all of his time laying in a bed in a private hospital.  Everyone says that he’s brain dead, despite the fact that he still reflexively spits.  The head nurse, the bitter Matron Cassidy (Julia Blake), hates the fact that Patrick is being kept alive.  As she tells a new nurse, she feels that he is a waste of space and she wishes that she could just turn off the machines that are keeping Patrick alive.

Strangely, Patrick shows no physical signs of having been in a coma for three years.  (One doctor points out that Patrick hasn’t even lost any weight during his time in the hospital.)  And then, there’s the fact that Patrick’s eyes are always open.  Even in a coma, he has the same intense stare.

An idealistic new nurse named Kathie (Susan Penhaligon) takes an interest in Patrick.  Over the objections of Matron Cassidy, Katie tries to talk to Patrick.  Kathie becomes convinced that Patrick’s spitting is not merely a reflex action but it’s actually his attempt to communicate.  Kathie becomes obsessed with proving the Patrick can still respond to the outside world.

And, in any other film, this is the type of storyline that would ultimately lead to a very inspiring conclusion, in which the idealistic nurse’s faith is validated and the stricken patient is finally allowed to find a measure of happiness and dignity.

However, Patrick is a horror film.

Kathie does eventually discover that Patrick can see and hear.  Patrick does know what’s going on in the outside world.  But what Kathie doesn’t expect is that Patrick turns out to be a bit of an obsessively jealous pervert.  Also, it turns out that Patrick has the power of telekinesis.  Soon, he’s using a typewriter to send Kathie messages like, “It’s time for Patrick’s handjob.”

Patrick also uses his powers to punish any man who he feels is getting too close to Kathie.  This includes Kathie’s husband, Ed (Rod Mullinar).  First, Patrick causes Ed to seriously burn his hands on a hot casserole dish.  Then he traps Ed in an elevator, forcing Kathie to beg for her husband’s life.

Patrick is a surprisingly well-acted and effective little horror film, one that spends as much time on maintaining the proper melancholy atmosphere as it does on trying to shock the audience.  The end result is an intelligent little gem that will make you think even as it attempts to scare you.  That said, my main memory of Patrick will always be that stare.  Seriously, it was so creepy!

A remake was released in 2013 but I have yet to see it.  However, I have seen the film’s unofficial Italian sequel and that’s what I’ll be reviewing next!