Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

Yay!  It’s the final country club episode!

Episode 2.14 “Farewell Dance”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 22nd, 1994)

The summer is coming to an end and so is the gang’s indentured servitude at the Palisades Country Club.  The farewell dance approaches and with it comes the hope of romance and the pain of the heartbreak.

For instance, Bobby pretends to be rich so that snobby club member Michele (Ebonie Smith) will go to the dance with him.  Michele loves it when Bobby talks about how his father is a millionaire who owns a private jet and hangs out with the Queen of England.  But when Lindsay points out that Michele isn’t falling for the real Bobby, Bobby decides to tell Michele the truth.  Michele dumps Bobby and apparently, we’re meant to see Bobby as the victim here.  Bobby shouts that he wouldn’t ever go on a date with a girl who refuses to date poor people.  Uhmm, Bobby, have you considered that maybe she just refuses to date liars?  Anyway, as often happened on any episode where Bobby or Megan even thought about dating anyone who wasn’t listed in the opening credits, Bobby and Megan ended up going to the dance together.

Meanwhile, Screech is upset because Allison is going to be moving to New York to attend Julliard.  Screech announces that he’s going to go to New York with her, even though that means he won’t get his degree.  (Can’t Screech just transfer to a school in New Yor?)  Allison decides that she can’t go to Julliard because it would mean Screech giving up his dreams.  (“You have a future with Mr. Belding and Bayside,” Allison tells him.  Uhmm ….. what?)  Screech realizes that Allison has to pursue her dreams so he tells her to go to New York without him.  Allison plays Screech a really bland piano piece that she wrote for him and then they share a final dance.

The main problem with this episode …. oh Hell, you know what the main problem was.  The main problem’s initials are D and D.  Dustin Diamond gives such a cartoonish performance that it’s hard to believe that Allison would have ever fallen for him in the first place.  There are no emotional stakes when it comes to any story involving Screech because there’s nothing real about Screech.  As a character, he’s the equivalent of Bobby’s father’s private jet.

All that said, at least the county club episodes are over with!  Yay!  Always be thankful for the little things.