Stranger Things- Season 1, Episode 6 – The Monster; ALT Title: Are you there God? It’s me, El.

Posted on September 8, 2016 by casewright

stranger things titles

Cold Open: Creeper is calling for Nancy. She is lost in the Shadow World. In her haste, Nancy is has passed the exit and his alone in the with the monster. Creeper sees the tree portal, then Nancy’s outstretched arm, and pulls the love of his life back into the Light World like a forceps baby. The tree’s portal closes.

Roll Credits.

Steve is driving with his crew all worried about Nancy. He uses his much improved Ninja Skills to go up to Nancy’s bedroom, but is frozen with shock and rage at the sight of Creeper comforting Nancy on her bed.

Joyce’s House: Hop is mentally exhausted, but pushes through it. He explains that he saw Will’s room because there was a kid’s bed and kid’s drawing on the wall. However, when Joyce asks, “Was [the drawing] good?” Hop describes it as a kid’s drawing. She shows Hop an example of Will’s very good artwork. Hop realizes that all this time that he’s been looking for another kid. David Harbour plays this scene with a mix of realization and rage that they did this to yet another kid. I haven’t seen acting this good since the Robert Mitchum or Gary Cooper. In five years, he’ll be holding an Oscar.

Mike’s house: Nancy showers off her evil goo. She has Creeper sleep in her bed. Maybe, he’ll take some photos of her when she sleeps? You two deserve each other.

Hop and Joyce: They go on a quest to find El’s mom, using his library research. Given that was a trolling ground for Hop, I didn’t mean to have that previous sentence to read vaguely dirty.

Nancy’s Room: Nancy Nancy Drews (sorry had to go there) a theory that the monster is a predator, who hunts at night, and detects blood. HMMMMMMM, whatever could it be???? They decide to set a trap.

Mr. Clark’s house: He is visited by Evil Modine’s Blonde Henchwoman and is duped into revealing the boys’ identities with promises of nerdy tech programs for promising youths.

Flash to El: Evil Modine brings El a one-dollar Target store plant because he wants to her to make contact and he’s obviously cheap.

El wakes in the woods. She puts her wig on to become a normal girl again. She looks into the water seeing herself as a freak, a monster, an ersatz girl. El tosses the wig and screams her energy into the lake.

Mike’s House: Karen uses her bobby pin to gain access to Nancy’s room, expecting to find a sleeping kid. Instead, she sees an empty bed and the indications that a boy spent the night.

Lucas’ House: The boys try to make up. It’s a bit corny, but in a good way. Lucas is determined to find Will on his own and he’s convinced that El is a traitor. Dustin insists that it was pretty awesome; she threw him into the air with her mind. Lucas’ face says it all- that’s why she sucks, SHE’S NOT HUMAN!

El decides to go shopping for some Eggos. She’s dirty, she’s weird, and the villagers are scared. FLASH to the Evil Bathtub: El is being submerged into the dark world -the in between space that separates our world and the Shadow World a membrane that acts a terrible bridge. Back to the store where once again, we find a dickish manager. She calls the manager a Mouth Breather; it’s pretty awesome. He tries to stop El because she’s leaving the store without paying and El’s like – LEGGO MY EGGO! BOOM- The sliding glass doors explode.

Hop and Joyce: They arrive at Terry Ives’ home to ask her about her daughter. She is catatonic.

Lucas: We see him leaving to find Will. He sees a white Hawkins Power and Light van. Dustin and Mike, separated from Lucas, discuss why Lucas is upset. Dustin explains that Lucas is jealous because he’s being replaced by El.

We learn from Terry’s sister that she got into MK Ultra in college. They gave Terry loads of LSD, put her in the salt water tank, but she was pregnant. This gave her baby enhanced superpowers. This is an obvious nod to Dean Herbert’s Dune, when Lady Jessica takes the Water of Life when she was pregnant; thereby, giving her daughter Alia superpowers. Yep, I just laid some nerd knowledge on you! Boom! Terry’s sister explains that Terry believed she would have telekinetic and other badass powers; we flash to El’s mojo badassery throughout the series. All the while she describes this, there is baby music playing in the background that is extra creepy.

Lucas uses his compass and arrives at Evil Modine’s Government Facility.

Nancy and Creeper find supplies to set their trap. When they go outside, she sees the movie theater marquee – All The Right Moves Starring – Spray Painted – Nancy the Slut Wheeler. She’s mortified. She hears spray paint cans being used and finds Steve and his cohorts. She slaps him. Steve starts insulting Creeper and Creeper kicks Steve’s ass. The cops arrive and in a funny accidental assault on a police officer, Creeper is arrested.

Hop and Joyce: She’s devastated that it’s been 12 years since Terry saw her daughter, meaning she may never see Will again. Hop explains that there’s still a chance. He explains that he’s been through what she’s going through, but his daughter was taken permanently, but he will get Will back to her. People in pain will sometimes lash out because a person tries to share their pain, thinking that the sharer is trying to make it about themselves. WRONG! Don’t be that way! Pain is not unique. There’s sympathy and empathy. Sympathy- wow, that sucks. Empathy- I felt your kind of pain because this happened to me. This is a vulnerable act of sharing, creating intimacy and intimacy is the bedrock of any relationship.

Hop gets a call that Creeper was arrested.

Back at the Police Station, Nancy brings Creeper some ice for his candid photo taking hands.

Lucas: He sees a bunch of Hawkins Power and Light vans. Lucas realizes that the government is on to them.

The Bullies find Dustin and Mike at the Quarry. The World’s Smallest Bully (WSB) catches Dustin and threatens to cut out Dustin’s baby teeth, if Mike doesn’t jump into the quarry. The tension builds and he jumps. The boys run to see a likely dead Mike; instead, Mike is suspended in mid-air and hoisted back to the top of the cliff. We cut to El who has her signature bloody nose. She shoves one bully into the air and breaks the WSB’s arm. El says, GO! The bullies do.

Flash to In between dark room: She sees the monster and approaches. She reaches out to it’s scaly skin and touches the creature. It shrieks at her with a head full of teeth. El’s terror is so great that she releases a huge energy burst that tears a hole in our dimension, linking our world to the shadow world and the Monster.

Back to the quarry, El confesses she opened the gate; therefore, she is the monster. Mike eschews that notion- You saved me El. They all hug.

Dustin, Mike, and El have return to Mike’s house and the Hawkins Power and Light Van is waiting for them.

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Back to School Part II #28: School’s Out (dir by Kit Hood)

Posted on September 7, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

School’s Out, a 1992 film that was made for Canadian television, is historically important for two reasons.

First off, it featured not only the first use of the F-word on Canadian broadcast television but the second as well! The first actor to say the word was Stefan Brogren who, in the role of frustrated lifeguard Snake Simpson, complained, “Joey Jeremiah spends his summer dating Caitlin and fucking Tessa!” About a minute later, Stacie Mistysyn (in the role of Caitlin), yelled, “You were fucking Tessa Campanelli!?”

I’m not sure what exactly went on behind-the-scenes before School’s Out broke the F-word barrier. Help me out, Canadian readers. Was this a big deal in your country? Was this controversial? Did you get weeks of warning or was everyone taken by surprise? And was happened afterwards? Does the F-word now show up regularly on Canadian television? I’m sincerely curious and I guess I’ll find out for myself when, after the presidential election, I move to Toronto.

Still, regardless of whether there was any drama behind-the-scenes, it’s interesting that, in 1992, Canada had already progressed beyond America, as far as censorship and broadcast standards concerned. 24 years later, actors on American network television are still not allowed to say what Stefan Brogren said during School’s Out.

Of course, if you’re a fan of Degrassi, you can probably appreciate the irony of Stefan Brogren being the one to break the Fuck Barrier. Brogren plays Archie “Snake” Simpson. When Degrassi: The Next Generation began in 2001, Archie was a teacher at Degrassi Community School. Over the course of the series, Archie married, became Emma Nelson’s stepfather, and was eventually appointed principal. Through it all, Archie has been a well-meaning but somewhat dorky authority figure. Simpson has always been the guy who you can depend on to explain why condoms are important and stalkers are bad but he’s also always been the guy who inevitably says something unintentionally humorous and then wonders why everyone is laughing at him.

But before Degrassi: The Next Generation, there was Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High. These two shows aired in the 80s and featured Brogren (and Snake Simpson) as just another student, worrying about getting a girlfriend and occasionally dealing with an issue-of-the-week.

That brings us to the other reason why School’s Out is historically important. School’s Out was meant to serve as the finale of Degrassi High, a chance for the show’s fans to get one last chance to hang out with Snake, Caitlin, Wheels (the tragic Neil Hope), and Joey Jeremiah (Pat Mastroianni, with hair!) and perhaps get a glimpse of what the future held in store for them.

Though the producers may not have realized it at the time, School’s Out also perfectly lay the foundation for Degrassi: The Next Generation. I have to admit that, as much as I love Degrassi, I haven’t seen many episodes of Degrassi Junior High or Degrassi High. Fortunately, that didn’t make it difficult for me to follow School’s Out. In fact, many of the things that happened in School’s Out would regularly be referred to in Degrassi: The Next Generation.

The film opens with the senior class of Degrassi High graduating and preparing for their final summer before university and responsibility. Joey Jeremiah plans to ask his longtime girlfriend, Caitlin, to marry him. However, when Joey proposes to Caitlin, she turns him down. She’s not ready for that type of commitment, not when she’s about to leave town to go to college. (For his part, Joey failed a grade during Degrassi Junior High and, as a result, he’ll finally be starting his senior year while all of his friends are getting on with their lives. While Caitlin is studying journalism at university, Joey will presumably still be trying to pass Mr. Raditch’s history class.) Hurt over being turned down by Caitlin, Joey ends up sleeping with Tessa Campanelli (Kirsten Bourne). Soon, he is — as Snake memorably puts it — dating Caitlin and fucking Tessa.

What amazed me, as I watched School’s Out, was just how much of asshole Joey Jeremiah was truly portrayed as being. If, like me, you previously only knew him from Degrassi, then you know Joey as being a widowed used care salesman, a loving father, and an all-around good guy. So, it’s strange and a little bit jarring to see him here as a remorseless cheater who brags about betraying Caitlin and who cruelly teases Snake for being a virgin.

(Then again, seeing School’s Out adds an interesting shading to Joey’s character. Watching the film, I suddenly understood why Joey often seemed so overprotective of his stepson, Craig. During the third season of Degrassi, Craig made many of the same bad decisions that Joey previously made in School’s Out. Much as Joey was “dating Caitlin and fucking Tessa,” Craig was dating Ashley and fucking Manny. Watching School’s Out, I finally understood that, during seasons 3 and 4 of Degrassi, Joey was often looking at Craig and seeing himself.)

Of course, it wouldn’t be Degrassi if there weren’t a few other subplot going on at the same time as the Joey/Caitlin/Tessa love triangle. Seriously, hardly anyone gets a positive ending in School’s Out. Not only does Joey cheat and Snake curse but there’s also an unplanned pregnancy. There’s a party that leads to a major character driving drunk, killing a child, and blinding a classmate. Yes, the film does end with a wedding but we barely know the people getting married. Nobody, it seems, gets a truly happy ending.

Seriously, Canadian readers, how traumatizing was School’s Out when it was originally broadcast!?

Fortunately, I was able to watch School’s Out with the knowledge that, as bad as the summer was, Joey would eventually find love and Snake would get a job. As for Caitlin, she would not only end up hosting a public affairs show called Ryan’s Planet but, at the end of the 4th season of Degrassi, she would have a brief flirtation with director Kevin Smith.

(Both Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes were in Canada, filming Jay and Silent Bob Go Canadian, eh? It’s a long story.)

Anyway, I’m very happy that I finally watched School’s Out. I may even go back and watch Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High. They’re all available on YouTube now!

On a final note — LOVE YOU, CANADA!

Back to School Part II #27: Benny’s Video (dir by Michael Haneke)

Posted on September 7, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For our next film in this Back to School series of reviews, let’s take a look at the 1992 Austrian film, Benny’s Video. It’s a dark and disturbing film about murder and the death of morality.

“A disturbing Austrian film about murder and the death of morality?!” you’re saying, “What is this!? A Michael Haneke film!?”

Well, as a matter of fact, it is. Benny’s Video was Haneke’s second film and one of the interesting things about it is that it reveals that, even this early in his cinematic career, Haneke was already a master at telling stories about characters estranged from society. Benny’s Video is remarkably assured film but it’s also one that is so disturbing that you may never want to watch it for a second time.

Benny is a an affluent teenager. He’s obviously intelligent and he has friends but, from the minute we meet him, we can tell that there is something off about Benny. Maybe it’s the flat monotone that he uses to express his thoughts. Maybe it’s the cold and rather pitiless look of his eyes and the way that Benny always seems to be on the outside observing his family and friends. Or maybe it’s the fact that, when we first meet Benny, he is obsessively watching and rewatching a video of pig being slaughtered with a bolt pistol.

When his parents go out of town for the weekend, Benny meets a girl (Ingrid Stassner) outside a video store. He brings her back to his house and, while his own cameras record the action, Benny shows her the footage of the pig being slaughtered. He tells her that he’s never actually seen a dead body but he knows “the tricks they use in action films” to make someone appear dead. He then shows her that he has a bolt gun of his own. As opposed to what happened to the pig, it takes three shots from the bolt gun to kill the girl.

Benny, who seems to be as confused by his actions as we are, puts the body in a closet and then goes out to a club. He sees a movie. He visits with friends. He gets his head shaved. And when his parents return home and snap at him for his new haircut, he shows them the video of him killing the girl.

Amazingly enough, the murder is not the most disturbing part of the film. What’s far more disturbing is the way his parents react. After sending Benny to his room, they sit at the kitchen table. Benny’s father (Ulrich Muhe) starts to calmly discuss their options and points out that, if Benny’s crime is discovered, they could be held responsible. Benny’s mother (Angela Winkler) is much more shaken by Benny’s crime. When, in a state of shock, she starts to giggle at her husband’s dispassionate demeanor, he snaps at her to remain calm…

And, seriously, it is so disturbing to watch! Haneke directs the film in an understated, almost documentary-like fashion and Arno Frisch gives a performance that somehow manages to be both compelling and soulless at the same time. Benny remains a mystery to not only his parents and the audience but to himself as well. Much like Gus Van Sant’s Elephant, Benny’s Video invites us to consider the enormity of a destructive act without offering any easy answers as to why the act happened in the first place.

Benny’s Video is a powerful film that will stick with you and one that shows that, even early in his career, Michael Haneke was a cinematic force to be reckoned with.

Back to School Part II #26: Terminal Bliss (dir by Jordan Alan)

Posted on September 7, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

There’s been a long-standing rumor floating around the internet that, before she became a star, Sandra Bullock appeared in the 1992’s Terminal Bliss, a film about decadent, upper class teenagers. Well, having watched the film on YouTube, I can tell you that, unless she’s an extra, Sandra Bullock is not in the film.

That said, she does have a connection to Terminal Bliss. In 1987, when a 17 year-old aspiring director named Jordan Alan was attempting to raise the money for his film debut, he shot a few scenes and put together a promotional trailer for his unmade film. Sandra Bullock does appear in that trailer. Watch it below:

On the strength of the trailer, Alan was able to raise 3 million to make his movie. (Charmingly, Alan has written that he raised the money while “playing hooky.”) Alan shot the film in 1989 and there was even some news coverage about this teenager making his directorial debut.

As for the film itself, it appears that it wasn’t released until 1992, presumably to capitalize on the performance of Luke Perry, who, at that time, was starring on Beverly Hills 90210. According to Wikipedia, the film was not particularly embraced by critics, nor did it do much at the box office. It’s never been released on DVD or Blu-ray.

The only reason I knew about Terminal Bliss is because I like to collect those old Screen World Annuals and I came across Terminal Bliss in the back of the 1992 edition. The name immediately caught my attention, largely because I once used the phrase “terminal bliss” in a poem and was rather unfairly criticized by a creative writing professor who felt I was “trying too hard.”

John Willis’s Screenworld Annual (It may say 1993 on the cover but it actually covered the film released in 1992)

However, Terminal Bliss is not an easy film to track down. As I mentioned earlier, I finally found the movie on YouTube but it was the French-language version. Though I do speak French (though, admittedly, with a Texas accent), I would hardly call myself fluent and, as I watched Terminal Bliss, I came to realize just how rusty my French has gotten. (I’m definitely going to have to brush up on it, if I end up fleeing to Canada after the presidential election.) Fortunately, I was able to follow the film enough to review it.

Terminal Bliss tells the story of two teenage friends. They’re both rich. They’re both neglected by their parents. At the start of the film, they both seek escape through drugs. Alex (Timothy Owen) is the one who often hides his sensitivity behind a wall of cynicism. John (Luke Perry) is the charming and sociopathic one, the one who lives his entire life seeking to satisfy his own urges. When he finds out that Alex has a crush on Stevie (Estee Chandler), John responds by introducing Stevie to cocaine and getting her pregnant. When Stevie has an abortion, an angry Alex checks into drug rehab. When Alex comes out of rehab, he’s still as angry and as cynical as he ever was. He continues to hang out with his friends, the most recognizable of which is a drug dealer played by Alexis Arquette. Alex also continues to be friends with John, despite the fact that John seems to be getting more and more out-of-control in his behavior. Alex refuses to intervene, saying that John is responsible for his own decisions. After John rapes Stevie’s sister, he invites Stevie and Alex to join him out at his family’s lake house. When, over the course of the weekend, John drowns, Alex can only coldly watch. Why help? As Alex sees it, John would probably be happier dead anyway…

So, yeah, Terminal Bliss is not exactly a cheerful movie. In fact, it’s such a dark and borderline nihilistic film that it reminded me of the type of stories that I used to write when I was 17 years old. Terminal Bliss has “teen trying to be edgy” written all over it but you know what? That actually works to the film’s advantage. This is a film about teenagers that was actually made by a teenager and, while it may not be a perfect movie, it is a pretty good example of what the world looks like when you’re 19 and trying to be a cynic. Say what you will about the film’s storyline, there’s an honesty to its outlook. Only when you’re 19 would you have the guts to make a commercial movie that was this relentlessly bleak. That bleakness sets Terminal Bliss apart from a lot of other films that I’ve reviewed for this series.

Because I was watching a dubbed version, I’m not going to try to judge the performances. But I will say that I really liked the look of Terminal Bliss. Jordan Alan — who, according to his Wikipedia page, is still working as an independent filmmaker — creates and maintains an almost oppressive atmosphere of ennui. This is a film that often seems to take place in the shadows and even the liveliest of scenes (a party, a wedding reception) seem to be overcast. When, at the start of the film, we see Timothy Owen and Luke Perry’s shadowy forms, playing lacrosse on a sunny morning, we’re put right into the proper existential mood. When the camera focuses on Owen’s often passive face, we feel as if we are looking straight into the heart of ennui.

So, Terminal Bliss does not feature Sandra Bullock but it’s still an interesting artifact of the time in which it was made.

Back to School Part II #25: The Night Before (dir by Thom Eberhardt)

Posted on September 7, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For the past two and a half weeks, I’ve been taking a chronological look at some of the best and worst films made about teenagers, high school, and even college! We are 25-reviews into the 56-review series and we are quickly approaching the 1990s. However, before we enter the final decade of the 20th Century, let’s take a look at one last film from the 80s.

Released in 1988, The Night Before (which should not be mistaken for the recent HBO series or the Seth Rogen Christmas comedy that nobody saw) opens with 17 year-old Winston Connelly (Keanu Reeves) waking up in an alley. Winston isn’t the type that you would expect to find in an alley. For that matter, he’s also not the type who you would usually expect to be played by Keanu Reeves. He’s the president of his school’s astronomy club, a nice but socially awkward kid. Even stranger than the fact that he’s waking up in an alley is the fact that he’s waking up in an alley while wearing a tuxedo!

How did Winston end up in that alley? Well, it turns out that he was on the way to prom. His date was Tara Mitchell (Lori Loughlin), a popular cheerleader who only asked Winston to the prom because she lost a bet with one of her friends. (In a revealing bit of character development, Winston doesn’t care that she only asked him because she had to. He’s just happy to have a date!) When Winston was driving her to the prom, he took a wrong turn and he ended up in the bad side of town. Then his car broke down and, as we see in several flashbacks, he and Tara stepped into a nearby bar and asked for help…

And the rest is the blur. All Winston knows is that, upon waking up, his car has been stolen and Tara has disappeared. And a pimp named Tito (Trinidad Silva) wants to kill him!

Uh-oh!

Will Winston be able to find his car, Tara, and discover what happened during his blackout? You’ll have to watch the film to find out!

And, actually, I liked The Night Before. It was a well-directed and energetically acted movie. It takes a while to get used to Keanu Reeves playing such an innocent character but he actually gives a really likable and genuinely funny performance. The film was directed by Thom Eberhardt, who also did Night of the Comet and Sole Survivor, and he keeps the action moving a nice pace. The movie won’t win any points for originality — the debt to Adventures In Babysitting is especially obvious — but it’s still an entertaining 80s teen comedy.

Add to that, Keanu Reeves and Lori Louglin made a super cute couple! I wonder if they spent their time on set sharing memories of making Brotherhood of Justice together?

I sure hope they did!

Back to School Part II #24: Can’t Buy Me Love (dir by Steve Rash)

Posted on September 6, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For some reason, the 1987 comedy Can’t Buy Me Love is really beloved by clickbait headline writers. I’ve lost track of the number of times that I’ve seen headlines like “Why We Still Love Can’t Buy My Love” or “See What The Cast Of Can’t Buy Me Love Looks Like Today!”

Why is it that the worst movies always seem to have the most rabid fan bases? Actually, to be fair, Can’t Buy Me Love is not one of the worst movies of all time. I watched it on Netflix a few nights ago and it wasn’t terrible. But, at the same time, it was hardly the classic that so many articles have made it out to be. Maybe the people writing about Can’t Buy Me Love are viewing it through the lens of nostalgia. Who knows? Maybe my future children will think I’m a weirdo for loving Easy A.

(They better not! Easy A is the best!)

Anyway, Can’t Buy Me Love takes place in the same upper class suburb in which all teen films from the 80s take place. Nerdy Ronald Miller (Patrick Dempsey) has spent the summer mowing lawns and he’s raised enough money that he can finally afford to buy a super telescope. However, as Ronald is walking through the mall, he sees the girl that he’s been crushing on, Cindy Mancini (Amanda Peterson). Disobeying her mother, Cindy borrowed a suede outfit without asking. She wore it to a party, the outfit got ruined, and now Cindy desperately needs a replacement. The leads to Ronald getting an idea. Who needs a telescope when he can use his money to pay Cindy to be his girlfriend for a month? Cindy can buy a new outfit and Ronald can date the most popular girl in school and become popular himself!

School begins and Ronald’s plan seems to work. With Cindy’s help, Ronald goes from being a nottie to being a hottie! (Yes, that’s a reference to the infamous Paris Hilton film from 2008, The Hottie and the Nottie.) Of course, it’s a very 80s transformation. Ronald learns about the importance of sungalsses, vests, and going sleeveless. Along the way, Cindy falls in love with Ronald and comes to realize that her friends are all a bunch of followers. When Ronald starts to do a spastic dance, Cindy can only watch in shock as all of her friends starts to the same dance, convinced that it has to be cool if Ronald is doing it!

Meanwhile, Ronald changes. Being popular goes to his head. He rejects his old friends. He becomes a jerk. It’s only when he discovers that his oldest friend, Kenneth (Courtney Gains, who appears in hundreds of these films), is being targeted by the popular kids that Ronald is forced to confront the type of person he has become and hopefully realize that you can’t buy love…

It’s always weird to see Patrick Dempsey in these old high school movies. Some of that is because he was so scrawny that it’s hard to believe that he’s the same actor who made McDreamy into a household word. Add to that, Patrick Dempsey is a good actor now. Judging from this film, he wasn’t necessarily a good actor in the 80s. At times, Dempsey seems to be trying so hard that it’s actually uncomfortable to watch. Amanda Peterson, who tragically passed away last year, is a lot more natural as Cindy.

Anyway, Can’t Buy Me Love was apparently a huge hit back when it was released and it appears that a lot of people have good memories of watching it. I thought it was kind of bland and poorly acted. I’ll stick with Easy A.

Back to School Part II #23: Adventures in Babysitting (dir by Chris Columbus)

Posted on September 6, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

One unfortunate thing about both being the youngest of four and having a teenage reputation for being a little out of control is that I never got a chance to be a babysitter. Whenever my mom wasn’t around, my older sisters were in charge. When I was technically old enough to look after other children, nobody was willing to trust me with them. So, I missed out on babysitting and…

Well, to be honest, that never really bothered me. I was too busy either having too much fun or no fun at all to worry about any of that. But maybe I should have because, whenever I watch the 1987 film Adventures in Babysitting, I’m always left convinced that I could have been a kickass babysitter. Seriously, if Elisabeth Shue could still get babysitting jobs even after taking the kids into downtown Chicago and nearly getting them killed, then anyone could do it!

In Adventures in Babysitting, Chris Parker (Elisabeth Shue) is a responsible 17 year-old who lives in the suburbs of Chicago. (As anyone who seen The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off can tell you, being a teenager in 1980s meant living in Illinois.) When we first meet Chris, she’s getting ready for her anniversary date with her boyfriend, Mike Todwell (Bradley Whitford, years before achieving fame by playing assorted pompous jerks in assorted Aaron Sorkin productions) and she’s dancing around her bedroom. There’s an important lesson to be learned from the opening of Adventures in Babysitting: if you want me to relate to a character, introduce her while she’s dancing in her bedroom. Seriously, though, the whole film succeeds because of that opening bedroom dance. Chris is instantly likable and relatable. You want to see her succeed and achieve what she wants.

So, of course, we’re all disappointed when Mike shows up and breaks his date with Chris. That said, as upset as Chris may be, she’s still willing to take the time to try to talk her friend Brenda (Penelope Ann Miller) out of trying to poison her stepmother with Drano. That’s a true friend.

With nothing else to do, Chris ends up taking a babysitting job. She has been tasked to look after 8 year-old Sara Anderson (Maia Brewton) and Sara’s brother, 15 year-old Brad (Keith Coogan). Sara is a bit of a brat, though she’s also generally well-meaning and is obsessed with comic books (Thor, in particular). Brad is likable but dorky. He has a huge crush on Chris and even turns down a chance to spend the night at a friend’s, just so he can be around her.

Brad’s friend, incidentally, is Daryl (Anthony Rapp, who would later play Tony in Dazed and Confused and who starred in the original Broadway production of Rent). Daryl is a hyperactive perv who is obsessed with Chris because she resembles the centerfold in one of his dad’s Playboys. Daryl decides that, if his friend Brad can’t visit him, then maybe he should visit Brad!

However, Chris has more to worry about than just looking after Sara, Brad, and Daryl. Brenda has attempted to run away from home and now she’s stuck in a downtown bus station! Her glasses have been stolen and, as a result, Brenda is doing things like picking up a giant rat and calling it a kitten. Brenda uses her last bit of money to call Chris and beg her to come pick her up.

(Of course, none of this would happen today. Brenda wouldn’t have to use a pay phone to call Chris and she could just call Uber to get a ride home.)

So, Chris and the kids drive into Chicago and, needless to say, things quickly fall apart. They get a flat tire on the expressway. Chris panics when she discovers that not only does she not have a spare tire but she also left her purse back at the house. They are briefly helped by a one-handed truck driver named Handsome John Pruitt (John Ford Noonan) but then Pruitt discovers that his wife is cheating on him and takes a detour so he can catch her in the act and, of course, this leads to Chris and the kids being kidnapped by a helpful car thief. Soon, they’re being chased through Chicago by the Mafia and…

Well, it gets rather complicated but that’s kind of the appeal of the film. The film starts out as a fairly realistic, John Hughes-style teen comedy and then it gets progressively crazier and crazier. Downtown Chicago turns out to be a rather cartoonish place, one where one disaster follows after another. (To be honest, if Adventures in Babysitting was released today, it would probably inspire a hundred increasingly tedious Salon think pieces on white privilege. Bleh!) But, regardless of how silly some of the adventures may get, Adventures in Babysitting remains grounded because of the good and likable performances and a script that is full of witty and quotable dialogue.

It’s an entertaining movie and it’s one of those films that always seems to be either on Showtime or Encore. If you’re sad, watch it and be prepared to be massively cheered up!

(Avoid the Disney Channel remake.)

Back to School Part II #22: Three O’Clock High (dir by Phil Joanou)

Posted on September 5, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For the next entry in my back to school series of reviews, I want to say a few words about the 1987 comedy, Three O’Clock High.

I have no idea how Three O’Clock High did when it was originally released into theaters. I know, I know — I could just look it up on Wikipedia or the imdb but I’m lazy and, besides, I hate that whole idea that box office success is somehow synonymous with quality. That said, Three O’Clock High is one of those films that seems to be in a permanent cable rotation (seriously, it always seems to be playing somewhere and there’s always a few people on twitter talking about how excited they are about coming across it) and I kind of hope that it did well when it was originally released. It’s an entertaining and genuinely funny little high school comedy.

Three O’Clock High tells the story of Jerry (Casey Siemaszko). Jerry is a high school student, one of those kids who is a bit anonymous. He’s kind of a nerd but so much of a nerd that he painfully sticks out of the crowd at this school.

You know who does stick out of the crowd? Buddy Revell (Richard Tyson). Buddy is the new kid at school. He’s a big, hulking, and rather intimidating figure and he comes with quite a fearsome repuations. All anyone can talk about are the stories that they’ve heard about Buddy’s dangerous past. The one thing that the rumors all have in common is that Buddy does not like to be touched. In fact, it appears that his aversion to being touched has made him the most dangerous high school student in the country.

The first hour of Jerry’s school day is spent working at the school newspaper and, of course, his teacher has a bright idea. Why not welcome Buddy to the school by interviewing him!? Sure, why not!? Everyone loves to be interviewed! And why not get Jerry to do the interview?

The problem is that Buddy doesn’t want to be interviewed. And, once he realizes that Buddy not only doesn’t want to talk to him but is actually getting rather annoyed with him (this may be because Jerry chooses to approach Buddy in the boy’s bathroom), Jerry asks Buddy to forget that he even bothered him and then reaches over and punches him on the arm.

Of course, this leads to Buddy announcing that he and Jerry are going to have a fight. At 3 pm. In the school parking lot…

The rest of the film plays out like a surrealistic, teen-centered parody of High Noon, with Jerry desperately trying to figure out a way to avoid the fight. He tries to frame Buddy by placing a switchblade in his locker, just to have Buddy use the knife to disable his car, effectively trapping Jerry at the school. He tries to help Buddy cheat on a test. He tries to get the principal to kick him out of school. He even tries bribery!

But ultimately, three o’clock arrives and Jerry must face his destiny…

Three O’Clock High is cheerfully cartoonish and rather entertaining little film. Director Phil Joanou pays homage to a countless number of other films, often framing the high school action like a Spaghetti western stand-off and, when the final fight arrives, it’s just as wonderfully over-the-top and silly as you could hope for. Casey Siemaszko, who was also in Secret Admirer, is perfectly cast as Jerry and Richard Tyson is both funny and intimidating as Buddy. Meanwhile, ineffectual adults are played by everyone from Philip Baker Hall to Jeffrey Tambor to Mitch Pileggi. There’s a not a subtle moment to be found in Three O’Clock High but the relentless stylization definitely works to the film’s advantage.

I’d keep an eye out for the next time that Three O’Clock High shows up on Showtime. It’s an entertaining film about teens doing what teens have to do.

Back to School Part II #21: Brotherhood of Justice (dir by Charles Braverman)

Posted on September 5, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For my next back to school review, I want to take a look at one of the best films that you’ve probably never heard of, the 1986 made-for-TV film Brotherhood Justice!

Brotherhood of Justice takes place at a California high school. It’s a school that is pretty much ruled by the football team and the divide between the children of the upper and the working class is often violently apparent. After several acts of violence, drug dealing, and vandalism, the school’s principal (Joe Spano) is left with a choice. He can either hire full-time security guards and turn his school into an armed camp or he can meet with the most popular seniors and ask them to do their part to maintain order at the school.

He goes with the latter option.

At first, quarterback Derek (Keanu Reeves) is excited about doing his part to make the school a better place. He and his friends quickly form the Brotherhood of Justice and make out a list of trouble makers. At first, Derek and his friends are just roughing up drug dealers and demanding that all students show some school pride. (In order to maintain their anonymity, they all wear masks to hide their faces. However, no effort is made to disguise anyone’s voice, which means that this film takes place in a world where no one can recognize the voice of Keanu Reeves.) However, things quickly escalate. One member of the Brotherhood — Les (Billy Zane) — is especially enthusiastic and he has a thing for knives.

Meanwhile, Derek is having issues with his girlfriend, Christie (Lori Loughlin). Christie, who is apparently incapable of recognizing her boyfriend’s voice whenever he’s wearing a mask, thinks that the Brotherhood is idiotic. Christie also has a new job as a waitress and one of her co-workers is Victor (Kiefer Sutherland). Victor obviously likes Christie and he also bravely stands up to the Brotherhood when they try to harass a student who is named Pasty. (I kid you not.)

When Derek grows disillusioned with the Brotherhood, they decide that the situation with Christie must be distracting him. So, they decide to blow up Victor’s car…

It’s all in the name of justice!

Obviously, one of the best things about Brotherhood of Justice is that it’s a chance to see Neo and Jack Bauer compete over Aunt Becky while Cal Hockley plays with a switch blade in the background. (Oddly enough, Derek’s younger brother is played by Danny Nucci, who later appeared with Zane in Titanic.) But there’s more to Brotherhood of Justice than just the curiosity value of the cast.

That plot hole about the voices aside, Brotherhood of Justice is actually a really good movie and one that everyone should watch. If anything, it’s even more relevant today than it probably was when it was originally made. It’s easy to be dismissive of the self-righteous and judgmental Brotherhood but actually, how different are they from the outrage brigade who show up everyday on twitter? When the Brotherhood demands that everyone follow the rules and love their school, how different are they from those assholes who, today, claim that anyone who disagrees with the president or questions the moral authority of the government is somehow guilty of treason? If the Brotherhood existed today, they would be cyberbullying and doxxing anyone who they felt had failed to say or think the right thing.

Let’s face it — we currently live in a fascist culture. In its own modest but important way, Brotherhood of Justice is one of those films that can tell us why.

And you can watch it below!

Stranger Things- Season 1 Episode 5- The Flea and The Acrobat; ALT Title: Hop is my Spirit Animal.

Posted on September 5, 2016 by casewright

stranger things titles

Cold Open:

Evil Modine’s Government Facility: Hop is being a total badass and sneaks into the facility. He sneaks around the facility and hides in rooms as evil scientists go by in the halls. He goes through biohazard plastic and is about to head to the entrance to find Will. Hop runs into the shittiest security chief ever and kicks his ass and the ass of a Military Policeman. Hop – you win the badass award of 1983.

Joyce’s house: Lonnie is getting Joyce liquored up and generally trying to take over her life. Lonnie – who might be one of the earliest Mansplainers – tries to convince Joyce that all of this in her head. This show is really good at showing people’s reaction to grief and potential mental illness. The people are marginalized, ignored, and bossed around. It’s especially poignant because the show is postmodern gothic horror and the way “normal characters” deal with the people they can’t understand is truly medieval.

Evil Modine’s Government Facility: Hop continues to search for Will. He finds a room with a kid-sized bed and a drawing of two stick figures and a cat- a call back to where Evil Modine tried to harness El’s powers to diminish the local feline population. Hop’s face is cool rage. He’s certain that they have Will.

The director intercuts the boys’ discussion and Hop’s search for Will. The intercut between the boys’ discussion and Hop’s search is truly gooseflesh inducing. El is completely drained. The boys are going over what was said on the AV equipment. Lucas emotes that he is really tired of this shit. Hop has his pistol drawn and is being pursued by Evil Modine’s goons. The boy’s describe the World of the veil of shadows. Hop finds the elevator that leads down to the gate to the shadow world. Hop enters a hallway that the boys describe as – out of phase. There is evil snow coming down around Hop. Hop enters the room with the main portal to the shadow world and is grabbed and drugged. This story really grabs at the ancient themes of storytelling- Hop is the sullied knight on Crusade looking for redemption and he plays it perfectly! Fade to Black.

Roll Credits:

Joyce’s House: Creeper arrives home to see his Mom drinking and generally hanging out with Lonnie. Poor Creeper.

Funeral: Lonnie holds Court and shakes a lot of hands as if he is the man of the family and not a human-turd.

Hop’s Home: Hop wakes with sweat stains and surrounded by pills and booze. Hop tears his place apart like he’s looking for Rebel Plans of the Death Star. After much destruction, Hop finds what he’s been looking for- a listening device in his light fixture.

Evil Modine’s Government Facility: Evil Modine has decided that the monster is hanging around Will’s home.

Post Funeral: Nancy and Creeper are making plans to hunt down and kill the Monster. He gets a pistol out of his father’s glove box.

High school: A fake AV Club Repairman investigates the equipment that was fried by El.

The Wake: The boys go up to Mr. Clark and they have him lay some science down on them. Are there alternative universes? You bet! Does Mr. Clark know about Dungeons and Dragons? Right again! Does he explain that someone would have to create immense power to create a tear into another dimension much like the plot of Bioshock Infinite? OH YEAH!!! BTW, this tear could destroy us all and wonks up compasses as well.

Hop’s House: The deputies arrive and talk to Hop. They think he’s a bit nutty and we find out that Barb’s car was found at a bus station.

Joyce’s House: Lonnie talks about the Statler Corporation and how they need to be held accountable as he does some pretty shitty home repair. This gives Joyce a moment of clarity that perhaps Lonnie is infact a dirtbag.

Mike’s House: Dustin is experimenting with the compasses. He explains to his friends that the compass is not facing True North; instead, they must be pointing to the Evil Gate.

Joyce’s House: While Lonnie is showering, Joyce snoops in Lonnie’s stuff and discovers a personal injury attorney’s flyer.

Mike’s House: Nancy talks to Steve. It’s boring.

Joyce’s House: Joyce fights with Lonnie and tosses his ass out of her house.

Hop’s House: Hop is exhausted and calls his estranged wife. We learn that after their child’s death, she left, and now has a new family. Poor Hop.

The boys are trying to get to the portal via the local railroad tracks. El flashes to Evil Modine. He has her focus on a Commie. To accomplish this task, she must get into a scary bathtub with a helmet on her. Huh? The boys notice that El is acting stranger.

Nancy and Creeper are walking through the woods hunting for the Monster. They argue about her and Steve. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Joyce’s House: Joyce hears banging at her door and thinks it’s Lonnie. In fact, it’s Hop holding up a sign for her to be quiet. He looks at all of the lights that are up in her home that he must now check for listening devices and says, “Oh Jesus”. I have had to inspect Christmas Lights a time or two and it is a pain in the ass!

Junkyard: Dustin realizes the compasses are not leading them to the gate. Lucas discerns that it was El misleading them using her powers, discovering fresh nose-blood on her sleeve. She explains that [the gate] is not safe.

Joyce’s House: Hop’s finished checking the lights. He explains to Joyce that they bugged his place, they took Will, Will’s body was a fake, and she was right all along.

Lucas emotes that El likely opened the gate and that she might be the monster! Lucas and Mike fight and El launches Lucas into the air. El flashes to the evil bathtub. She goes to a totally black room with water in it that looks identical to the kill room in “Under the Skin”. Under the Skin is a must watch! She hears the commie talking and goes up to him. He can’t see her. While she is broadcasting the commie’s speech, she hears something horrible. A monster using sonar. She flees. We return to the Junkyard and Lucas comes to and storms off. El has also disappeared.

The Woods: Nancy and Creeper come upon a dying deer. They decide to put it down. In an act of knight-like chivalry (AHEM), Creeper attempts to shoot the deer. It is pulled into the darkness. Creeper and Nancy split up to look for the deer. Nancy sees a hole in a tree that is covered with evil slime and decides to go inside it alone and without any weapons because she’s really really smart. Nancy enters the shadow world and sees the Monster crouched and feeding on the deer. She attempts to back away and crushes a branch. The Monster turns and it’s face opens in four quadrants to reveal nothing but teeth and rage!

Roll Credits!

elizabeth stranger-things-netflix