America!
Back toe beginning? Of just the country or of humanity itself? Judging from this poster, it looks like both. Are there any post-nuke adventures that aren’t outrageous? It’s a legitimate question, I think.
Anyway, this is a poster for a film that came out in 1989.
I was doing some research on the history of French cinema for an upcoming series of reviews and I came across this charming little advertisement from 1916. I guess this was sent to theater owners to encourage them to show Fantomas.
Would I show Fantomas is I got this in the mail? I sure would! I’d even hire someone to dress up like Fantomas and deal cards outside the theater. If only I had been born 100 years earlier…
The hour is late so I won’t say too much about this poster for this 1971 film. According to the Grindhouse Database, this movie only has a 46 minute running time so it must have been 101 very quick acts of love.
I like the fact that the quote from “Dr. Ann Foster” doesn’t actually say anything about the movie, just the subject matter. Why, it’s almost as if Dr Foster was just some randomly quoted person who, in all probability, never actually saw the movie!
This poster is for a 1971 film called Terror From Under The House. I haven’t actually seen this film. Normally, I would look at this poster and assume that it must be about a monster living in a basement but this is 70s exploitation that were talking about. Just because its featured on the poster doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily going to be in the film.
Apparently, Terror From Under The House was just one of the many titles used by this film. It’s also known as:
The main thing that I noticed about this poster was that apparently, audiences were forced to accept the “Free Screaming Teeth of Terror” as proof that this movie was so frightening that watching it could lead to death. I’m not sure what exactly that means but this film was rated PG so, honestly, how scary could it be?
Someday, I’ll watch it and let you know.
This poster is for the 1958 film, The Bonnie Parker Story. That’s right — this film predates the better known Bonnie and Clyde by about 9 years. Dorothy Provine was cast in the title role and, judging from this poster, it looks like her Bonnie was even more dangerous than Faye Dunaway’s! Apparently, in this film (which I haven’t seen yet), Clyde was renamed Guy.
(Bonnie and Guy doesn’t quite have the right ring to it, does it?)
Anyway, it’s a good poster, one that is direct and in your face. That’s something I always appreciate about any film poster. Plus, there’s that tag line!
Cigar smoking hellcat of the roaring twenties!
Hell yeah! Now that’s a tag line!
(Hi everyone! Usually, my sister — the Dazzling Erin Nicole — tracks down and selects the images that we feature in our Artwork of the Day feature. However, Erin is taking the week off — and November 24th is not only the day after Thanksgiving but her birthday as well!, so be sure to wish her a happy one! — so, for the next few days, I’ll be selecting our artwork of the day! — Lisa Marie)
Look at those bricks fly!
Listen, I really can’t tell you a thing about whether or not Pay or Die is a good movie or not. All I know is that the film was released in 1979, it was rated R, and this was the poster. It’s a tremendously effective poster, though. I don’t know if it’s a fair representation of what happens in the movie, of course. But I hope it is. I hope there’s at least one scene featuring two men and a woman kicking the Hell out of a brick wall.
Posters like this are actually a huge reason why I enjoy researching grindhouse films. Just looking at it is enough to inspire you to create your own movie in your head. Why are they kicking through the wall? Why are they even working together? Why is the movie called Pay or Die? Do they own someone money? Does someone owe them money? Maybe they’re kicking through the wall of a bank. The possibilities are endless!
I will say this, though. If I ever did use my bare hands to smash through a brick wall, I’d probably try to make sure that my boobs were a little better protected when I did it. Seriously, I imagine breaking through a wall, especially one made of bricks, is not as safe as they make it look in the movies. Considering all of the kicking that appears to be involved, I would also probably not wear open-toed sandals while doing it either. That just seems like common sense to me.
The Emoji Movie is basically Inside Out, except instead of taking place inside of an awkward teen’s head, it takes place inside of an awkward teen’s phone. Instead of sharing a universal story about the pain of growing up, it shares a universal story about the pain of having too many lame apps on your phone. Instead of featuring a melancholy voice performance by Richard Kind as a forgotten toy, it features an annoying voice performance from James Corden as a forgotten emoji. Instead of being really wise, funny, and sad, the Emoji Movie is dumb, stupid, and idiotic. Otherwise, it’s just like Inside Out.
Gene (voiced by T.J. Miller) is a Meh Emoji. He lives in Textopolis. His job is to look like he’s always meh but instead, he’s always full of emotion and positivity. His boss, Smiler (Maya Rudolph), says that Gene must be a malfunction and therefore, he has to be deleted. Gene says, “No, I must discover who I actually am!” With the help of the forgotten hand emoji, Hi-5 (that would be James Corden), Gene flees from app to app. (It’s kinda like The Lego Movie but not funny, touching, or clever.) They track down a hacker named Jailbreak (Anna Faris) and, at one point, they’re all rescued by a blue bird that comes flying over from the Twitter app. They’re all chased by a bunch of bots and I have to admit that I liked the bots just because they were trying to destroy Gene and Hi-5. Anything that would have ended James Corden’s lameass Ricky Gervais imitation would have been fine with me.
Nobody (or, at the very least, nobody who writes for this site) is as enthusiastic a capitalist as I am but the naked commercialism of The Emoji Movie really tested my patience. Essentially, it’s just an 86-minute advertisement with a vapid “Be yourself!” message tacked on. (If The Emoji Movie was sincere in its message of individuality, it wouldn’t celebrate the idea of people communicating exclusively in emoji.) Early on, when Gene and Hi-5 escaped into Candy Crush, I rolled my eyes. Later on, when an awed Gene said, “This is Spotify?”, I nearly threw a shoe at the TV.
(I did enjoy the scene where the Just Dance app got deleted, just because the dancer — who was voiced by Christina Aguilera — let out a terrifying scream as the app collapsed around her. I’ve always imagined that’s what happens whenever I delete anything.)
Usually, I try to force myself to come up with at least 500 words for every review that I write but the really does seem to be more effort than this movie deserves. (I was actually tempted to write this review exclusive in emoji but then I realized I was just be playing the movie’s game.) I will say this: children will like The Emoji Movie because children are stupid. Ask them again in five years and this will be their response:
In Mudbound, Jonathan Banks plays one of the most hateful characters to ever appear in a motion picture.
We never find out the character’s given name. Everyone just calls him Pappy. He’s the patriarch of an unimpressive family, a wannabe king who has no kingdom over which to rule. Pappy never has a kind word to say to anyone. He even tends to be brusque with his grandchildren. When one of his sons returns from serving in World War II, Pappy only wants to know if he got laid in Europe and how many men he killed. Pappy only killed one man in World War I but he did it face-to-face. He’s proud of that.
As much as Pappy dislikes the members of his family, it’s nothing compared to how much Pappy hates people who aren’t white. Pappy is the type to demand that, when he dies, he not buried anywhere near anyone black. Pappy is also the type who takes it as a personal insult if a black man uses the same door that he uses. When he sees Ronsel Jackson (Jason Mitchell) using the font door of the local grocery store, it doesn’t matter that Ronsel has just returned from serving his country and is still wearing his uniform. It also doesn’t matter that Ronsel’s mother is helping to raise Pappy’s granddaughters. What matters is that Ronsel is defying the social norms of 1940s Mississippi and Pappy takes that as a personal insult.
There are six narrators in Mudbound, all of whom tell us their story and share with us their thoughts. Pappy is not one of those narrators and, for that, I was thankful. I would have been frightened at the thought of entering his hate-fueled mind. All we have to do is look into his hateful eyes or listen to his scornful voice and we know what’s going on in Pappy’s head. He’s a man who has accomplished nothing in his long life, whose only happiness comes from making others miserable, and who fears the change that he secretly knows is coming. It’s not just hate that makes Pappy demand an apology when Ronsel Jackson uses the front door. It’s fear.
Mudbound tells the story of two families in Mississippi and the farmland on which they both live and work. (Early on, when a skull with a bullet hole is discovered, we’re informed that an old slave cemetery is under plowed fields.) Pappy’s oldest son, Henry McAllan (Jason Clarke), owns the land. Desperate for his father’s approval, Henry hopes to succeed as a farmer but he soon proves himself to be rather clueless. Henry’s wife is Laura (Carey Mulligan). Laura was a 31 year-old virgin when she met Henry. She tells us that she married him because she didn’t want to be alone. She stays with him because she loves their children.
The Jacksons live on Henry’s land. They’re tenant farmers and Hap (Rob Morgan), the family patriarch, dreams of one day owning his own farm. While Pappy openly hates the Jacksons, Henry treats them with a patronizing condescension. (Whereas Pappy knows that he’s hated, Henry actually thinks that the Jacksons look up to him. There’s not a lot of humor to be found in Mudbound but I couldn’t help but smile at Henry’s cluelessness about how little Hap thought of him.) Henry and Laura even hire Hap’s wife, Florence (Mary J. Blige), to serve as a housekeeper. Henry and Laura think they’re doing Florence a favor, never considering that they are essentially asking Florence to neglect her own family so that she can take care of their’s.
The Jackson and the McAllans do have one big thing in common. They both have sons serving in the army. Ronsel is a sergeant who is both surprised and happy to discover that white Europeans are not the same as white Americans. Henry’s younger brother, Jamie (Garrett Hedlund), is a captain in the Air Force. When the war ends, both Ronsel and Jamie return to their families. Jamie returns with a severe case of PTSD and a drinking problem. Having experienced freedom in Europe, Ronsel is angered to return to a country where he is still expected to sit in the back of the bus and cheerfully accept being treated like a second class citizen.
When both of them are caught off guard by the sound of a car backfiring, Ronsel and Jamie immediately recognize each other as returning soldiers. A friendship develops between them, one that goes against the racist norms of their society. Violence and tragedy follows.
Mudbound is a Netflix film. It’s currently getting a one-week theatrical release so that it’ll be Oscar-eligible. (If it is nominated for best picture — and many think that it may be — it’ll be the first Netflix film to be so honored.) That said, the majority of the people who see Mudbound will see it via Netflix. That’s a shame because, visually, Mubound is a film that should be seen on a big screen. The imagery — the farmland that seems to stretch on forever, the storms that always seem to roll in at the worst possible moment, the scenes of Ronsel and Jamie in Europe — is frequently beautiful and haunting. (The comparisons to the work of Terrence Malick are justified.) Even when viewed on a laptop, Mudbound still looks good but I fear that the small screen will rob the film of some of its epic scope. Since Mudbound is a leisurely paced film, I fear that many members of the Netflix audience are going to be tempted to hit pause and then not return to the film for an hour or two, therefore robbing Mudbound of its cumulative power.
Over the time that I’ve spent writing this review, I’ve come to realize that I actually liked Mudbound a lot more than I originally thought I did. As opposed to many of the films that I’ve seen this year, I have a feeling that Mudbound is actually going to stick with me. Carey Mulligan, Mary J. Blige, Jason Clarke, and Rob Morgan all give wonderful performances, though the cast standout is Jason Mitchell, playing a man who, having tasted freedom, refuses to silently go back to the way things were.
Mudbound is a very good film. I wouldn’t necessarily call it a great film, though many other critics and viewers are. Director Dee Rees captures some beautiful images and some wonderful performances but the film itself has some pacing problems. The first part of the film is occasionally too slow while a few of the final scenes felt rushed. I haven’t always been a huge fan of Garrett Hedlund in the past and, when the movie started, I had my doubts about whether or not I’d be able to accept him as Jamie but, by the end of the movie, he had won me over. In the past, I’ve found Hedlund to be a little stiff but, having now seen Mudbound, I have to say that he’s grown as an actor. I’m looking forward to seeing where his talent takes him next.
Even if it does have flaws, Mudbound is a powerful film and one that I recommend taking the time to watch.
The latest Lifetime “true crime” movie goes a little something like this:
We start with a clip from a South African news program. The anchorman talks about how much everyone loves Oscar Pistorius, the man who lost his legs when he was 11 months old and then went to compete in both the Paralympics and the Olympics. In both his home country and abroad, Oscar is known as the Blade Runner.
Cut to:
Oscar Pistorius (played by Andreas Damm) running across South Africa. A man in a pickup truck honks at him. Oscar holds up his hand in greeting. A group of children stop playing soccer long enough to watch Oscar run by. No matter what, Oscar never stops running.
Cut to:
Oscar in his kitchen, on the day before Thanksgiving. A title card tell us that we are seeing “the day before Reeva’s death.” Reeva Steenkamp (Toni Garrn) is Oscar’s girlfriend and a model. They talk, they laugh, they make love on a kitchen counter. It seems like the perfect relationship.
Cut to:
Night. The outside of Oscar’s house. There are gunshots. Reeva screams for help. Oscar shouts “No!”
Cut to:
The morning after Reeva’s death and Oscar telling the police how he accidentally killed his girlfriend.
Cut to:
A few months before Reeva’s death. Reeva tells her mother that she wants to move in with Oscar.
Cut to:
A few more months before Reeva’s death. Reeva meets Oscar Pistorius and, for Oscar, it’s obsession at first sight.
And so the movie goes from there, hopping back and forth through time and telling the story of Oscar and Reeva’s ill-fated relationship. Oscar turns out to be jealous and controlling. Reeva is always a bit too quick to accept the blame for all of Oscar’s tantrums. Oscar confesses to her that he’s always felt like he’s been alone in the world. Reeva’s friends tell her that they think Oscar is creepy. Reeva says that they don’t know him the way that she does. Reeva mentions that she smoked weed while doing a shoot in Jamaica. Oscar totally freaks out, as if he simply cannot believe that someone would smoke weed while in Jamaica. (I mean, wouldn’t it be rude not to?)
And eventually, it all leads to Oscar shooting Reeva and the trial that captivated the world. Did Oscar intentionally shoot her while in a jealous rage or, as he claimed, did he accidentally shoot her? The film refuses to give us a definitive answer, leaving it up to the viewer to decide. That seems to be a bit of a cop-out but then again, that’s the way it usually is with these true crime films. They never definitely validate one side or the other. It’s just like how last week’s Robert Durst movie couldn’t come right out and show Durst killing his wife even though everyone knows that’s probably what happened. Ambiguity can be good but sometimes, you just want the movie to have the courage to offer up an answer.
Anyway, as for the rest of Blade Runner Killer, it was a bit too slow and disjointed to really work. As I watched the film, I couldn’t help but feel that, unlike the Durst case, there really wasn’t enough to the Pistorius case to justify an entire, 90-minute movie. Though the script never really dug far beneath the surface, both Andreas Damm and Toni Garrn did a good job as Oscar and Reeva. Otherwise, this one was pretty forgettable.
(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 205 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on January 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only two months to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Off The Rails off of the Lifetime Movie Network on March 26th!)
Oh, poor Nicole (Hannah Barefoot)!
When we first meet her, Nicole is recovering from amnesia. She knows that she was injured in a catastrophic train derailment. She knows that she’s married to Mark (Thomas Beaudoin), who seems like the perfect husband. She knows that her therapist is Dr. Teres (Andrea Cirie). She knows that she’s oddly obsessed with maps and that she teaches at the local college. However, she is still not totally sure what her life was like before the accident. And sometimes, she wonders if she can actually trust Mark. For instance, she suspects that, while she was in her coma, Mark added onto the deck in the back yard. Mark swears that it was her idea but why would she want to do that?
Nicole is also convinced that she has never had a Facebook account. She swears that she’s never been on Twitter. She doesn’t even know what Instagram is! “You call me a Luddite!” she says to one of her friends, “I do remember that!” But, if that’s true, why do all of her friends swear that they’ve talked to her on Facebook? And why are all sorts of sleazy men approaching her, all claiming that they met her online?
That’s not all Nicole has to worry about. There’s also the weird visions that she’s having, many of them involving being watched by a menacing-looking raven. And then there’s the French Canadian photographer (Andreas Damm). Nicole is not sure who he is but she sure did take a lot of happy pictures with him. Could it be that she wasn’t as happy in her marriage as both Mark and her therapist insist?
There were some parts of Off The Rails that I really liked. The story was, at times, genuinely intriguing and I always appreciate it whenever Lifetime films mix a little surrealism in with the melodrama. The first part of the film does a very good of creating a properly ominous atmosphere and Hannah Barefoot does a good job portraying Nicole’s confusion and paranoia. Obviously, it demanded a considerable suspension of disbelief to buy into the idea that Nicole could possibly be so ignorant of social media in 2017 but then again, that’s Lifetime for you. Social media is always the source of all evil in the world of Lifetime.
Unfortunately, there’s a twist at the end of Off The Rails that simply does not work and it actually cheapens the film a bit. I understand that it’s a Lifetime film and that, therefore, things can never end on too dark of a note but, in this case, the movie’s story demanded and deserved an ending that was just a bit more bittersweet.
Still, I’d recommend Off the Rails. Up until that final shot, it’s a nicely done Lifetime mystery. You’ll probably figure out the solution early but it’s still entertainingly melodramatic and just weird enough to be worthwhile.
