Tag Archives: Film

Lisa Watches An Oscar Nominee: Separate Tables (dir by Delbert Mann)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of you may know, I have been on a mission for a while now.  My goal is to see and review every single film that has been nominated for best picture by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.  (Of course, with the 1928 nominee, The Patriot, being a lost film, that may seem like an impossible mission.  No matter!  For me, nothing is impossible.  What Lisa wants, Lisa gets.)  For that reason, I spent part of last night watching the 1958 best picture nominee, Separate Tables, on TCM.

Separate Tables is one of the more forgotten of the best picture nominees but then again, the 50s were not the greatest decade as far as the Academy was concerned.  Consider some of the other films released in 1958: Big Deal on Madonna Street, High School Confidential, Indiscreet, The Last Hurrah, Machine-Gun Kelly, The Fly, The Blob, The Horror of Dracula, The Revenge of Frankenstein, Some Came Running, Thunder Road, A Touch Of Evil, and Vertigo!  The thing they all have in common is that none of them were nominated for best picture but Separate Tables was.

That’s not to say that Separate Tables was, in any way, a bad film.  Actually, it’s a pretty good film and I’m glad that I watched it.  It’s not bad at all.  However, it is … what’s the right term to use here?  Stately perhaps?  Maybe stagey.  Separate Tables is based on two one-act plays and, though it’s obvious that some effort was made to open up the material, it still feels undeniably stage-bound.  Separate Tables was directed by Delbert Mann, who had previously won an Oscar for his lively direction of Marty.  With Separate Tables, his direction is far less lively.  Watching it, you get the feeling that he was not only straight-jacketed by the theatrical origins of the material but also by the fact that the film was clearly made to win Academy Awards.

So, ignore the direction and pay attention to the performances.  Separate Tables works best as a tribute to good acting.  The film follows the lives of several guests at an English seaside hotel.  Some people are just staying for a few days.  Some people live at the hotel.  John Malcolm (Burt Lancaster) is a moody writer, a recovering alcoholic who is planning on asking the hotel’s manager, the level-headed Pat Cooper (Wendy Hiller), to marry him.  Of course, then his ex-wife, Anne (Rita Hayworth), shows up.  As quickly becomes obvious, John and Anne may hate each other but they also love each other.  Neither one is particularly sympathetic but, in their scenes together, Lancaster and Hayworth do create a fascinating portrait of mutual self-destruction.  Ultimately, you’re left with the impression that both of them are so self-destructive that they belong together, if just to keep from drawing anyone else into their messed up orbit.

And then there’s Major Pollock (David Niven).  David Niven won the Oscar for Best Actor for his role as Major Pollock and he does give an excellent performance.  Major Pollock is one of those roles that often seems to attract comedic actors looking for a chance to prove their dramatic abilities.  When he first appears, he seems to be a bit of a joke but then, as the film progresses, we learn that he’s actually struggling with his own demons.  In the case of Major Pollock, those demons are more hinted at than defined.  As we learn at the start of the film, Pollock was convicted of “harassing” several “young women” at a movie theater.  Separate Tables does not make clear how young or, for that matter, the exact details of the harassment.  Some residents of the hotel want Major Pollock to be kicked out of the hotel.  Some residents say that it is none of their business and that everyone deserves a second chance.  John Malcolm is in the latter group, though he’s more concerned with his ex-wife than with the scandalous Major (who, to no one’s great surprise, isn’t actually a major and whose war stories have all largely been lies).  Also seeking to defend Major Pollock is the shy Sibyl (Deborah Kerr, playing against type).  Sibyl’s mother (Gladys Cooper) is among those most determined to exile Pollock.

And really, the only reason this plotline works is because of the performances of Niven and Kerr.  As written, it’s way too vague about the exact details of what it was that Pollock did.  We’re just told that he was caught “behaving immorally.”  (According to Wikipedia, Pollock was originally written as being gay but, apparently, that was considered to be too controversial for 1958, hence the mention that Pollock’s crime involved “young women.”)  But Niven gives such a soulful and wounded performance that, much like Sibyl, you want to believe the best about him.  You want to give him a second chance, even though you know he’s going to let you down.  As Major Pollock, David Niven uses his trademark charm to paint a portrait of a man who is painfully aware that he has little to offer beyond charm.

At the same time, I was surprised by how little screen time Niven actually had in Separate Tables.  The majority of the film is taken up with Lancaster and Hayworth.  Niven definitely deserved some consideration for best supporting actor but best actor?  Not in the year that saw Orson Welles in Touch of Evil and James Stewart in Vertigo.

Separate Tables is not a great film, at least not in the way that we might wish that a film nominated for best picture would be.  It’s way too stagey and vague.  But, with all that in mind, it’s still wonderfully acted and always watchable.  It may not be great but it is very, very good.

Separate Tables was nominated for best picture but lost to Gigi.

Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: Fathom (dir by Leslie H. Martinson)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of cleaning out her DVR!  It’s going to take her forever but, with the help of Dexedrine and energy drinks, she is determined to get it done!  She recorded 1967’s Fathom off of FXM on April 3rd of this year!)

Fathom is a spy spoof, one that was made the height of the initial James Bond craze.  It’s very much a late 60s film, in everything from the way the film looks to the overly complicated storyline to the film’s cultural attitudes.  This is one of those films that you know was probably considered to be “naughty” when it was released but, seen today, it’s all rather quaint.  There’s no nudity, there’s no cursing, and there’s very little violence.  However, it does feature in Raquel Welch in a lime green bikini and you just know that, when this film came out, there were probably people bemoaning it as the end of civilization.  “What happened to the movies that you could take the entire family too!?” they probably wailed.  That’s the way history works.  What was once daring now seems remarkably innocent.

I watched the film last night but I’d be lying if I said I could follow the plot.  I think that was intentional on the part of the filmmakers.  Fathom satirizes the spy films of the late 60s by taking all of their familiar elements to their logical extreme.  Spy thrillers feature unexpected twists and turns.  Fathom has a new twist every 10 minutes or so.  Spy thrillers feature sudden betrayal and double agents.  With the exception of Raquel Welch, literally no one in Fathom is who they initially claim to be.  It becomes exhausting to try to keep up.  In many ways, Fathom plays out like an old serial.  Every few minutes or so, there’s another cliffhanger.  Oh no, Raquel Welch is on an out-of-control motorboat!  Oh no, the bad guys have got Raquel Welch on an airplane!  Oh no, Raquel Welch is being chased by a bull and she’s wearing a red dress!  ¡Olé!

Raquel plays Fathom Harvill, who works as a dental hygienist except for when she’s touring Europe as a member of the U.S. parachute team.  She’s recruited by some spies to help track down a nuclear triggering mechanism, one that is being hidden somewhere in Spain.  The Scottish secret service just wants her to parachute into a villa owned by a mysterious American named Peter Meriweather (Anthony Franciosa) and plant a recording device.  Things don’t go quite as smoothly as they should and soon, Fathom’s going from one extreme situation to another.

(Even though Peter is supposed to be a suave, James Bond-type, Franciosa gives such an oddly intense performance that it feels like a dry run for his later work in Dario Argento’s Tenebrae.  Interestingly enough, in Argento’s film, Franciosa’s character is named Peter Neal.  Is it possible that Peter Meriweather changed his last name?)

But really, the entire plot is just an excuse to get Raquel into that lime green bikini and she totally owns the moment.  Raquel Welch is one of my favorite of the old film stars because she never apologized for who she was.  She had the body, she was sexy, she knew it, and she used it to her advantage.  Of course, when seen today, it’s disappointing that Fathom spends the entire movie being rescued by men but then again, I imagine that just the idea of a woman being a secret agent was revolutionary in 1967.  Actually allowing her to get out of situations on her own might have made heads explode.  If Fathom were made today, Fathom would at least get one scene where she gets to kick some ass, Angelina Jolie-style.

Anyway, Fathom is an enjoyably silly spy film.  Don’t worry about trying to follow the plot and, instead, just enjoy it as an over-the-top time capsule.  It doesn’t get more 1967 than Fathom.

Here’s What Won At Cannes!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s what won at this year’s Cannes Film Festival!  As always, the list is full of intrigue and surprises.

Also, as always, it’s debatable whether any of this will actually effect that Oscar race.  To be honest, other than The Tree of Life, it’s hard to think of any recent Oscar nominee that was undeniably helped by a victory at Cannes.  During the Festival, both Robert Pattinson and Adam Sandler (yes, Adam Sandler) started to receive some Oscar buzz but neither of them — nor their films, Good Time or The Meyerowitz Stories — were honored.

(As enjoyably weird as it would be for Adam Sandler to become an Oscar nominee, I imagine The Meyerowitz Stories will be ignored come Oscar time because it’s a Netflix film.  If the Academy couldn’t even give one nomination to the previous Netflix contender — the powerful and important Beasts of No Nation — I doubt that they’re going to surrender their bias for a film starring Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller.)

That said, I am very, very happy to see that one of my favorite artists, Sofia Coppola, was honored!  I can’t wait to see The Beguiled!

Here’s the winners:

2017 Main Competition winners: 

Palme d’Or: The Square (Ruben Ostlund)
Gran Prix: “BPM (Beats Per Minute)” (Robin Campillo)
Jury Prize: “Loveless” (Andrey Zvyagintsev)
Best Director: Sofia Coppola — The Beguiled
Best Actor: Joaquin Phoenix — You Were Never Really Here
Best Actress: Diane Kruger — In The Fade
Best Screenplay: “The Killing of a Sacred Deer” (Yorgos Lanthimos, Efthimis Filippou) and “You Were Never Really Here” (Lynne Ramsay)

OTHER PRIZES

Camera d’Or: “Jeune femme” (Montparnasse-Bienvenüe) (Léonor Serraille)

Short Films Palme d’Or: “Xiao Cheng Er Yue” (Qiu Yang)

Short Films Special Mention: “Katto” (Teppo Airaksinen)

Golden Eye Documentary Prize: “Faces Places” (Visages Villages) (Agnès Varda, JR)

Ecumenical Jury Prize: “Radiance” (Naomi Kawase)

2017 Un Certain Regard winners: 

Un Certain Regard Prize: Mohammad Rasoulof – A Man of Integrity
Best Actress: Jasmine Trinca – Fortunata
Best Poetic Narrative: Mathieu Amalric – Barbara
Best Direction: Taylor Sheridan – Wind River
Jury Prize: Michel Franco – April’s Daughter

2017 International Critics Week winners:

Nespresso Grand Prize: Emmanuel Gras – Makala
France 4 Visionary Award: Fellipe Gamarano Barbosa – Gabriel and the Mountain
Leica Cine Discovery Prize for Short Film: Laura Ferrés – Los Desheredados
Gan Foundation Support for Distribution Award: Fellipe Gamarano Barbosa – Gabriel and the Mountain
SACD Award: Léa Mysius – Ava
Canal+ Award: Aleksandra Terpińska – The Best Fireworks

2017 Director’s Fortnight winners:

Art Cinema Award: Chloé Zhao – The Rider
SACD Award: Claire Denis – Let the Sunshine In, Philippe Garrel – Lover for a Day
Europa Cinemas Label Award: Jonas Carpignano – A Ciambra
Illy Prize for Short Film: Benoit Grimalt – Back to Genoa City

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Twin Peaks Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Look, I’m just going to admit the truth.

I am obsessed.

Right now, I am totally obsessed with Twin Peaks.  Even as I spent the last few days watching movies off the DVR and writing the reviews that I posted on this site today, I still found my thoughts continually returning to Twin Peaks.

So, in honor of that obsession, here’s a special edition of 4 Shots From 4 Films.

It is happening again.

4 Shots From 4 Films

Twin Peaks 1.1 — The Pilot (dir by David Lynch)

Twin Peaks 2.22 “Beyond Life and Death” (dir by David Lynch)

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (dir by David Lynch)

Twin Peaks: The Return Part 3 (dir by David Lynch)

Here’s The Trailer for Wind River!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s the trailer for Wind River, a crime thriller that has gotten good reviews at both Sundance and Cannes.

Here are a few things to know about Wind River:

First off, a lot of people are pointing out that it stars two members of the MCU, Jeremy Renner and Elizabeth Olsen.  At this point, however, the MCU is so big — with the movies and Netflix and the tv shows — that it’s hard to think of a recent or upcomng film that doesn’t feature at least one actor from the MCU.  At this point, MCU actors running into each other in non-MCU movies is no longer as big a surprise as it may have once been.  It’s kind of unavoidable.

For me, the most intriguing thing about Wind River is that it is the directorial debut of Taylor Sheridan, who previously wrote the amazing screenplays for both Sicario and Hell or High Water.  I’ll be curious to see if Sheridan is as good and unpredictable a director as he is a writer.

Here’s the trailer!

Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: The Rachels (dir by Michael Civille)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi, everyone!  I’ve been cleaning out my DVR and reviewing the films that I’ve recorded.  Here’s my final review of the day.  I recorded The Rachels off of Lifetime on January 29th!)

I want to tell you about The Rachels but it’s not going to be easy because, at the same time, I don’t want to tell you too much.  The Rachels is a whip-smart and wonderfully snarky little satire and, because of the non-linear narrative style that the first half of the film employs, there’s very little I can tell you about the plot without spoiling the movie.

Don’t be put off by its origins as a Lifetime film.  Don’t judge the film just because the title was obviously inspired by Heathers.  How good is The Rachels?  It’s so good that I’m tempted to call it nifty.  That’s how good it is.

It tells the story of two teenage girls named Rachel.  They’ve been best friends forever.  They do the morning announcements together, always ending things by reminding the school, “We’re the Rachels.”  Rachel Nelson (Madison Iseman) is blonde and popular, a track star who is loved by everyone.  Rachel Richards (Caitlin Carver) is brunette and she’s slightly less popular than Rachel Nelson.  Rachel Richards is almost always in the shadow of Rachel Nelson.  While Rachel Nelson is praised by her track coach, Rachel Richards is consistently told that she could do better.  And then there’s Roxie (Daniela Bobadilla), a photographer who seems to be slightly obsessed with Rachel Nelson but is disliked by Rachel Richards.  Roxie claims that she was once one of the Rachels but she is continually told, by one of the Rachels (I can’t reveal which one), that she was never really a Rachel.

At a late night party, one of these three girls will fall off of the roof and plunge to her death, the result of an apparent suicide.  The film, in its non-linear fashion, holds off an immediately revealing which one of them fell from the roof and I will do the same.  What I can tell you is that the entire school soon becomes a shrine to the dead girl and the two survivors both use her death to their own advantage.  Both of them, by linking themselves to the now sainted dead girl, become very different types of celebrities.

It makes for a very sharp satire, one that perfectly skewers today’s culture of instant fame and internet grieving.  All three of the main actresses — Maidson Iseman, Caitlin Carver, and Daniela Bobadilla — are perfectly cast and give pitch perfect performances.  This is one of those films where no one turns out to be exactly who you thought they would be.  Well-written, well-directed, and wonderfully acted, The Rachels keeps you thinking and guessing.

That’s really all I can say about the movie without giving away too much.  Keep an eye out for it.

Film Review: Space Trucker Bruce (dir by Anton Doiron)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For most of today, I’ve been posting reviews of films that I watched off of my DVR.  Well, I’m going to take a brief break from that pattern to tell you about a film that I watched last weekend.  It was a low-budget sci-fi film, a real labor of love that the director posted on YouTube.  I watched this film with some of my friends from the Late Night Movie Gang: there was me, Kurt Zellner, Holly Wilson, Janeen Worrall, Phil Kaine, Michael McDow, and Jes Coolbaugh.  For the most part, we enjoyed this film.

The name of the movie was Space Trucker Bruce.  I’m trying to think of the best way to explain the plot and it’s not easy.  It’s a very episodic film and I think it could actually be argued that there really isn’t a plot per se.  Instead, there’s just a lot of stuff that happens. Some of it is connected and some of it isn’t but the randomness of it all is part of the film’s charm.

Space Trucker Bruce takes place in the far future.  The Earth has colonized the solar system.  Humans and human businesses have taken over space.  Bruce (Karl Sears) is a space trucker.  He’s currently in the process of hauling 20,000 tons of hog fat from Earth to a space station.  It’s a lonely job, to be honest.  At the start of the film, Bruce doesn’t have any human companionship.  He does have a robot, though it’s possible that the robot might actually just be a trash can.  You’ll have to watch the film to know for sure.  He has several books to read, including a few by the noted Catholic historian Garry Wills.  He also has movies, which apparently hardly anyone watches in the future.  (Bruce is one of the few people in existence to still know what Star Wars is.)  There’s also a tub of cream cheese that has apparently come to life and which keeps encouraging Bruce to do some really bad things.  Or at least, we assume that the cream cheese has come to life.  Could Bruce just be crazy?

During the journey, Bruce gets some human companionship when he picks up a hitchhiker named Max (played by the film’s director and writer, Anton Doiron).  Max is an affable if occasionally neurotic guy.  He has a hard time adjusting to Bruce’s laid back personality but, on the plus side, Max is willing to watch movies.

The rest of the film — well, I guess the simplest way to put it would be that Bruce and Max have various adventures while making their way to the space station.  Except, they’re not really adventures as much as they’re just stuff that happens.  Calling them adventures would suggest that Bruce and Max were really active participants.  For the most part, they both spend the majority of the film just relaxing in the ship and occasionally responding to stuff that happens.  I mean, if the ship is about to be destroyed then sure, Bruce and Max are going to try to stop that from occurring.  But, for the most part, Bruce and Max are just kind of hanging out.

And that really is the film’s charm.  This is a low-budget film that proudly embraces the fact that it’s a low-budget film.  The sets and the special effects manage to look cheap and effective at the same time.  There’s a real charm to the fact that the director wanted to make a space epic and he managed to do it, despite not having much money.  Even the amateurish acting become charming after a while.  To say that the actors were stiff would be an understatement.  But, at the same time, Karl Sears was perfectly cast as Bruce.  He just was Bruce in much the same way that Anton Doiron just was Max.  There are some films that you appreciate just because they actually managed to get made and seen.  Space Trucker Bruce is one of those films.

Space Trucker Bruce is available, for free, on YouTube.  It’s not a film for everyone but here’s the thing.  If it’s not for you, you’ll know after the first ten minutes.  However, if you’re still watching after those ten minutes then you’ll probably enjoy this odd little movie.

Here’s the trailer!

As for the film, it can be watched here:

 

Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: Nanny Seduction (dir by Emily Moss Wilson)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi, everyone!  I’ve been cleaning out my DVR over the past week and, today, I’ve been sharing reviews of the film’s that I watched!  I recorded Nanny Seduction off of the Lifetime Movie Network on February 26th!)

Before I talk too much about Nanny Seduction, I want to engage in a little speculation.

First off, looking at the credits, I noticed that several crew members of Nanny Seduction have also been involved with some of the shark films that usually show up on SyFy in the week before the premiere of the latest Sharknado.  That wasn’t a shock.  SyFy and Lifetime movies often tend to be produced by the same companies.  But what I loved about Nanny Seduction is that, in the very first scene, a child is seen receiving a book about sharks for her birthday!  I’m assuming that was an inside joke and I absolutely loved it.

Secondly, I’m going to guess that Nanny Seduction and A Deadly Affair were both filmed at roughly the same time.  Not only do the two films share several actors in common but I’m also pretty sure that the main house in A Deadly Affair was also the main house in Nanny Seduction.  And again, I found that to be very charming.  One of the fun things about watching both Lifetime and SyFy movies is making the connections between them.  It’s actually rather fun to see a familiar face pop up and wonder what their role is going to be this time.  It’s kind of like when Dick Miller shows up in a Roger Corman film or Giovanni Lombardo Radice pops up in one of Michele Soavi’s movies.

As for the film itself, Nanny Seduction pretty much takes the standard Lifetime nanny film to its logical extreme.  Lifetime has a long history of nanny paranoia.  It makes sense, of course.  By hiring a nanny, you’re not only trusting your child with a stranger but, in a way, you’re also admitting that you can’t be two places at once.  You’re admitting that your powers are limited.  Of course, by hiring a nanny — who is inevitably always younger, prettier and more exciting than boring old mommy — you’re running the risk that the nanny will either try to run off with your child or your husband.  Nanny Seduction is one of the first films to suggest that the nanny might do both.

Of course, that’s not all that Kara (Austin Highsmith) has to worry about.  She also has to worry about the fact that her daughter, Erin (Lauren Gobuzzi), is adopted and that Erin’s birth mother (Erin Cahill) is apparently stalking her.  And then there’s the fact that Kara’s husband, Ben (Wes Brown), has a history of cheating.  Even more than the typical Lifetime protagonist, Kara has good reason to be worried when the new nanny, Alyssa (Valerie Azlynn), keeps hitting on her husband.

Speaking of Alyssa, she’s one of my favorite Lifetime nannies.  It’s not that she’s any more evil than the typical Lifetime nanny.  Instead, it’s just that she’s so unapologetic about it.  Most evil nannies at least try to be subtle but Alyssa never even pretends to be Kara’s friend.  She pretty much steps into the house and announces, “I’m going to kidnap your child and run off with your husband.  Deal with it!”  Alyssa is so joyfully and unapologetically evil and Valeria Azlynn is clearly having such a blast playing her that she elevates the entire film.

Nanny Seduction is a lot of fun.  It embraces the melodrama and thank goodness for that!

 

Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: Mommy’s Prison Secret (dir by John L’Ecuyer)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi!  I am currently in the process of cleaning out the DVR.  I recorded Mommy’s Prison Secret off of Lifetime on May 6th.)

Taylor Reynolds (Kelli Williams) has a secret and, believe it or not, the secret is not that she served time in prison.  Everyone knows that Taylor has a record and, as opposed to what would happen in the real world, everyone seems to be okay with it.  She’s got a nice house in the suburbs, a handsome husband (Justin Reynolds), and a good relationship with her teenage daughter, Bianca (Niamh Wilson).  She’s even best friends with her probation officer!

Of course, it’s not like Taylor killed anyone or anything like that.  She went to prison because she was arrested for DUI and the cops found weed in her car.  She was a model prisoner and apparently, something of a protegé of the warden’s.  She secured an early release from prison and she got her life back on track.

So, what’s Mommy’s prison secret?  Could it be that the weed actually belonged to husband and she basically took the fall for him?  Or could it have something to do with her former cellmate, Meghan (Sarain Boylan)?  Meghan has just been released from prison and of course, she promptly turns up in Taylor’s hometown.  When Taylor is at the supermarket and she realizes that she’s forgotten her wallet, Meagan pops up, pays for her groceries, and tells off the cashier.

Taylor can’t wait to get away from Meghan, who is tough, crude, and has a blonde mullet sorta thing going on.  However, Meghan has other plans,  That night, she shows up at Taylor’s house.  Her car has broken down.  It’s raining.  Taylor’s like, “Go away,” and Taylor’s husband is like, “We can’t kick out a guest!”

Needless to say, that’s a big mistake.  Not only is Meghan soon pressuring Taylor to sneak drugs into the prison but she’s also proving to be a bad influence on Bianca.  Taylor would love to tell Meghan to leave or maybe even call the police but, if she does that, Meghan will reveal Mommy’s prison secret!

What is Mommy’s prison secret?  Well, it’s probably not what you think it’s going to be.  I thought that it was going to turn out that Meghan and Taylor had been more than just cellmates (and there are hints of that being the case) but the secret itself is something totally different and, to be honest, a lot less interesting.

Anyway, the best thing about Mommy’s Prison Secret is Sarain Boylan’s performance as Meghan.  Boylan dominates every scene in which she appears.  Meghan speaks her mind and has literally no secrets and, in an odd way, you actually end up liking her a lot more than you like the duplicitous Taylor.  Even if she is a bad influence who blackmails Taylor into becoming a drug smuggler, it’s hard not to occasionally say, “Go Meghan!”

One final note: Was Taylor named after Orange Is The New Black‘s Taylor Schilling?  I’m going to assume that she was.

Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: Dream House Nightmare (dir by Jose Montesinos)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi!  I’m currently cleaning out my DVR and, though I’m making some progress, I’ve still got over 150 movies left to watch and review!  Will I finish before the world ends in November?  Who knows!?  Anyway, I recorded Dream House Nightmare off of the Lifetime Movie Network on April 2nd.)

I got really excited when Dream House Nightmare started and I saw those three magic words: “The Asylum Presents.”

“Oh, Hell yeah!” I shouted.  “An Asylum film!”

See, whenever I see “The Asylum Presents,” I know that the film that follows is going to be a lot of fun.  The Asylum is shameless about being over the top entertainment.  There is rarely anything subtle about an Asylum film but that’s exactly why people like me love them.  The Asylum has turned melodrama into an art form.

The other reason that I got excited about Dream House Nightmare was, from the opening shots, it was obvious that the film was set and shot in Louisiana.  Seriously, an Asylum film shot in the Deep South?  You better believe I was excited!

And, for the most part, Dream House Nightmare lived up to my expectations.  It tells the story of a house, a really big house that practically anyone would die for.  Madison Dupree (Terese Aiello) loves the house and would love to buy it.  When she sees another couple looking at the house, she even tells them not to bother.  She has determined that the house is going to belong to her.  Can you blame her?  She doesn’t have much else going on in her life.  Years ago, she was named Mother of the Year but now, she has been relegated to the margins of society.  She lives with her disabled daughter (Tenea Intriago, giving a poignant performance in a difficult role) and her white trash husband (Brett Baker).  Why can’t she at least have a nice house?

However, she doesn’t get the house.  A better offer is made by the Wades, Thom (David A. Cole) and his wife, Theresa (Rachel G. Whittle).  Thom is an emergency room doctor.  Theresa is pregnant and is often alone at home while her husband works at the hospital.  Theresa has already suffered one miscarriage and is understandably worried that she’ll have another.  It doesn’t help that the neighbors all think that she’s stand-offish.  (“I’m just shy!” she protests and believe me, as someone who has often been wrongly accused of having an attitude, I knew exactly what she was going through.)

It also doesn’t help that Madison is batshit insane, so insane that she immediately launches a campaign of harassment against the Wades.  She leaves threatening notes.  She goes online and announces that the Wades are having an open house, which leads to a few surprise visitors.  She leaves notes for the other neighbors, making Thom look like a pervert.  When Thom and Theresa hold a party to get to know their neighbors, Madison attempts to blow everyone up.

It’s just all so over-the-top and insane that it’s impossible not to enjoy.  The plot doesn’t have to make sense when it’s this much fun.  It seems somehow appropriate that the film takes place in the Deep South.  Down here, we embrace our melodrama.  This film is a potent combination of Louisiana atmosphere and Asylum melodrama, with a healthy amount of random insanity tossed into the mix.

As I said, I’m always happy when I see “The Asylum Presents.”  Films like this are the reason why.