Darren Eisnor | Through the Shattered Lens

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 190 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on January 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded NeverKnock off of the SyFy on October 16th!)

Sitting in a small town, there’s a deserted and dilapidated house. The address is 59 Oakwood Lane. In 1986, three teenagers were found dead in the house. Carved in their backs were three words: “Never never knock.” Forty years later, the murders remain unsolved but everyone has heard the legend. If you knock on the door, the Never Knock Creature comes to life and uses your own fears to kill not only you but also all of your friends…

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. “Easy solution to this problem! Don’t knock on the freaking door!”

But let’s be honest here. If I lived in that town, I probably wouldn’t knock on that door but I’d sure as Hell beg all of my friends to do it. After all, who wouldn’t want to see what would happen? When I was in college, there was a legend that one of the hallways of my dorm was haunted by Wicked Wanda. They said Wicked Wanda could kill you but I still begged my roommate to go look for her. Urban legends are like wet paint signs. You have to encourage people you know to test them.

Needless to say, that is what happens in Neverknock. Grace (Dominque Provost-Chalkley) is the new girl in town. She’s still struggling to recover from a personal tragedy. Her best friend, Leah (Jodelle Ferland), invites her to spend Halloween night with her and her friends. Grace agrees but she makes the mistake of bringing along her bratty younger sister, Jenna (Lola Flanery). Jenna dresses up like the devil for Halloween and she soon proves that it’s not a totally inappropriate costume by knocking on the door to 59 Oakwood Lane. The Never Knock Creature comes to life, Jenna promptly disappears, and Leah, Grace, and all their friends find themselves being stalked by a creature that uses their worst fears to kill them.

(So, if the Never Knock Creature came after me, I’d have to worry about heights, drowning, dogs, fire, deserted barns, dead wasps lying unseen in the carpet, odd numbers, and the wire popping out of my favorite bra and stabbing me. Good to know.)

Anyway, I liked Neverknock. As is typical of Sheldon Wilson’s SyFy film, Neverknock has a ton of atmosphere and the pace never lags. Wilson changes things up a little in this movie by having the fright scenes occur during both the day and the night. For some reason, to me, it’s even scarier when someone gets attacked by an evil creature during the middle of the day. Even with the sun out and hundreds of people around, there’s no escape from the Never Knock Creature. Admittedly, Neverknock‘s characters are not exactly the most complex group of people to show up in a horror film. For the most part, they’re just teenagers who don’t understand that importance to staying together in one group while being stalked by a demonic force. But the cast is made up of appealing performers and veteran actor Nicholas Campbell makes a welcome appearance. You don’t want to see any of them die and that’s really all that a movie like this demands.

And finally, the Never Knock Creature is seriously creepy! When he first responds to Jenna knocking on that door … AGCK!

All in all, this was a good SyFy horror film.

(Hi! I am currently in the process of cleaning out the DVR. I recorded Mommy’s Prison Secret off of Lifetime on May 6th.)

Taylor Reynolds (Kelli Williams) has a secret and, believe it or not, the secret is not that she served time in prison. Everyone knows that Taylor has a record and, as opposed to what would happen in the real world, everyone seems to be okay with it. She’s got a nice house in the suburbs, a handsome husband (Justin Reynolds), and a good relationship with her teenage daughter, Bianca (Niamh Wilson). She’s even best friends with her probation officer!

Of course, it’s not like Taylor killed anyone or anything like that. She went to prison because she was arrested for DUI and the cops found weed in her car. She was a model prisoner and apparently, something of a protegé of the warden’s. She secured an early release from prison and she got her life back on track.

So, what’s Mommy’s prison secret? Could it be that the weed actually belonged to husband and she basically took the fall for him? Or could it have something to do with her former cellmate, Meghan (Sarain Boylan)? Meghan has just been released from prison and of course, she promptly turns up in Taylor’s hometown. When Taylor is at the supermarket and she realizes that she’s forgotten her wallet, Meagan pops up, pays for her groceries, and tells off the cashier.

Taylor can’t wait to get away from Meghan, who is tough, crude, and has a blonde mullet sorta thing going on. However, Meghan has other plans, That night, she shows up at Taylor’s house. Her car has broken down. It’s raining. Taylor’s like, “Go away,” and Taylor’s husband is like, “We can’t kick out a guest!”

Needless to say, that’s a big mistake. Not only is Meghan soon pressuring Taylor to sneak drugs into the prison but she’s also proving to be a bad influence on Bianca. Taylor would love to tell Meghan to leave or maybe even call the police but, if she does that, Meghan will reveal Mommy’s prison secret!

What is Mommy’s prison secret? Well, it’s probably not what you think it’s going to be. I thought that it was going to turn out that Meghan and Taylor had been more than just cellmates (and there are hints of that being the case) but the secret itself is something totally different and, to be honest, a lot less interesting.

Anyway, the best thing about Mommy’s Prison Secret is Sarain Boylan’s performance as Meghan. Boylan dominates every scene in which she appears. Meghan speaks her mind and has literally no secrets and, in an odd way, you actually end up liking her a lot more than you like the duplicitous Taylor. Even if she is a bad influence who blackmails Taylor into becoming a drug smuggler, it’s hard not to occasionally say, “Go Meghan!”

One final note: Was Taylor named after Orange Is The New Black‘s Taylor Schilling? I’m going to assume that she was.