Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.12 “Running Zack”

Posted on August 1, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This episode, Zack does some research on his family tree. Things are about to get supercringey.

Episode 2.12 “Running Zack”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 24th, 1990)

Ms. Wentworth (Carol Lawrence), who is a slightly less sociopathic version of Ms. Bliss, has assigned everyone to do a report on their family tree. She hands out grades based on what people discover about their family’s past. I’m not sure if that’s really a good idea. What if someone comes from a family that doesn’t have any dark secrets? And really, if your family did have a dark secret, what business is it of Ms. Wentworth’s?

Lisa reveals that her family escaped slavery and then helped over slaves escape as well. “My family calls the Underground Railroad the original Soul Train,” she says.

Jessie discovers that her family was made up of slave traders. Jessie proceeds to have a breakdown, even though Lisa says that Jessie shouldn’t feel responsible for anything that her ancestors did. To a lot of people, that probably sounds like common sense but it’s also the type of sentiment that now gets you cancelled on Bluesky.

Screech reveals that he’s Italian and his ancestors were all great lovers. “What is mi grade?” Screech asks. “A!” Ms. Wentworth says with a dramatic flourish.

We never learn about Slater’s family tree, despite the fact that, along with Lisa, he’s one of the few characters who is obviously not a generic white person. However, we do learn about Zack’s family background. Looking through the family records, he finds one picture of an Indian. Zack promptly declares himself to be a Native American. However, when Zack can’t even answer a few basic questions about his family’s background, Ms. Wentworth threatens to flunk him. But if Zack flunks, how will he compete at the track meet!? Bayside has never beat Valley …. in track, at least.

Ms. Wentworth sends Zack to meet Chief Henry (Dehl Berti, who, unlike Mark-Paul Gosselaar, actually was of Native American ancestry), an American Indian who apparently lives in a cluttered shack. Chief Henry takes one look at the picture and is able to identify Zack’s ancestor by name. He also gives Zack the name “Running Zack.” He helps Zack to appreciate his Native heritage. And then Chief Henry promptly dies offscreen.

Zack isn’t sure that he can run in the track meet. He’s feeling pretty depressed about the death of the old man he met twice. Chief Henry’s ghost appears to Zack and tells him to run because beating Valley is obviously the most important thing. Zack agrees to go to the track meet and Henry vanishes. Zack’s Native American ancestry is never mentioned again.

This episode is the equivalent of those old DNA test commercials where an extremely white person would say that their DNA test revealed that they were 2% Native American and that it had changed their entire life. As I rewatched it for this review, I couldn’t help but think about Elizabeth Warren, whose claims of Native American ancestry were even flimsier than Zack’s. I found myself thinking about the fact that there’s actually a name — Pretendian — for generic white people who try to be more interesting by falsely claiming Native heritage. What’s funny is that Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s actual heritage — Dutch and Jewish on his father’s side, Indonesian on his mother’s side — is actually pretty interesting. But, in this episode, it’s revealed that Zack is Nez Perce. (Though the tribe isn’t named, Zack’s ancestor is described as being one of Chief Joseph’s main warriors.)

Gosselaar used to refer to this as being his favorite episode of Saved By The Bell. In 2016, he changed his tune and said that the episode actually was insensitive to Native Americans. Gosselaar’s correct about that. Even after Ms. Wentworth tells Zack that his original presentation was disrespectful to the memory of his ancestor, she still calls him “kimosabe.” At no point does Zack show any curiosity as to why he had never heard much about his Native ancestry to begin with. And, needless to say, it’s never mentioned again. Like, ever. Seriously, I had a friend who, in 2007, discovered that she was 98% European and 2% North African and she hasn’t shut up about it in nearly 20 years.

The main problem with this episode is that Chief Henry conveniently dies off-screen, despite there not being any indication that he was in any way unhealthy. We never learn what Henry died of. Instead, he shows up long enough to teach Zack a lesson and then he dies so that the show doesn’t have to worry about bringing him back in the future. Zack declares that he might not run the track meet. Ms. Wentworth sobs. Well, at least Ms. Wentworth actually knew Chief Henry. Zack really seems like he’s just being performative about it.

Myself, I’m Irish on my father’s side and Italian/Spanish on my mother’s side. I would have definitely gotten an A in Ms. Wentworth’s class.

Horror on TV: One Step Beyond 3.21 “Night of Decision” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on October 25, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond, an important historical figure is consumed with self-doubt. Fortunately, a spirit guide appears to give him the strength to keep fighting, even though victory will eventually lead to an even greater war.

Who knew George Washington was so neurotic?

CAN YOU PROVE IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!?

This episode aired on February 21st, 1961.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway to Heaven 1.4 “The Return Of The Masked Rider”

Posted on October 26, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark clean up a troubled neighborhood!

Episode 1.4 “The Return of the Masked Rider”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on October 3rd, 1984)

This week, Jonathan and Mark end up a gym in a city. Jonathan applies for a job as a cut man. The gym’s owner, Mau Mau (Stoney Jackson), is doubtful because Jonathan can’t give him any references to call but then Jonathan magically heals a cut over a boxer’s eye. Jonathan gets the job and just in time because this neighborhood needs to be protected.

The problem is that the neighborhood is being ruled by Thumper (Darin Taylor) and the Satan’s Helpers. Everyone in the neighborhood is scared of the Satan’s Helpers and who can blame them when the gang literally identifies with Satan? I mean, they’re not only fans of Satan but they’re helping him as well! Anyway, the statewide boxing championship is coming up and Thumper is going to be fighting another neighborhood boxer, Joey (Chip MacAllister). The Satan’s Helpers demand that Joey throw the fight and to make sure that Joey does so, they kidnap his grandfather (Hank Rolike)!

Mark suggests that Jonathan just “zap” the gang members and bring an end to the whole thing but Jonathan explains that their mission is not to take out the gang. Their mission is to encourage the other residents in the neighborhood to take back the streets, “like the Guardian Angels!” You heard it, folks. God supports vigilantism.

Luckily, Morton Clay (John Agar) lives in the neighborhood as well. Morton was once a movie star, playing the Masked Bandit. Now retired and nearly forgotten, Morton lives in an apartment building with several of his former co-stars. Jonathan encourages Morton and his friends to put on their old costumes and march down to the headquarters of the Satan’s Helpers. The rest of the neighborhood is so amazed by the parade of old timey heroes, that they follow.

The Satan’s Helpers are so intimidated by sight of the entire neighborhood gathered together that they decide to stop helping Satan and they release the grandfather. Yay! Meanwhile, at the boxing match, Joey refuses to take a dive and he knocks out Thumper. Yay! The neighborhood is saved.

When people refer to Highway to Heaven as being a campy show, they are probably referring to episodes like this one. Undoubtedly, the episode is well-intentioned. Watching it, you can tell that Michael Landon was hoping that this episode would inspire people to take pride in the neighborhoods, just like the Masked Bandit and his friends! But the episode’s extremely earnest approach feels a bit naïve. There’s nothing particularly intimidating about the Satan’s Helpers and it certainly doesn’t help their credibility that they’re scare off by a bunch of elderly people wearing costumes.

Next week, Mark and Jonathan break into the country music world!

30 More Days of Noir #7: Hell Bound (dir by William J. Hole, Jr.)

Posted on November 7, 2020 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Like so many film noirs, 1957’s Hell Bound opens with a narrator. As we watch scenes of a group of thieves robbing a Naval ship of World War II narcotics, the narrator explains to us what each criminal is doing and how their plot will hopefully lead to them getting rich. Again, this is something we’ve seen in a countless number of film noirs. What makes Hell Bound unique is that the narration keeps going long after one would expect it to stop. And the expected cops and federal agents are never introduced….

That’s because we’re watching a film within a film! Jordan (John Russell) has made and produced the film himself, all to convince a gangster named Harry Quantro (Frank Fenton) to support his plan to …. well, to rob a Naval ship of narcotics. Jordan promises that the real-life theft will go just as smoothly as the theft in the movie! And, it must be said, Jordan’s movie was really well-made. He hired actors and everything. Harry agrees to give Jordan his backing on the condition that Jordan use Harry’s girlfriend, Paula (June Blair), in the operation. That, of course, means that Jordan won’t be able to use his own girlfriend, Jan (Margo Woode). That’s going to be awkward.

Anyway, Jordan starts to assemble his crew and they’re the typical film noir collection of misfits. One of the more fun things about Hell Bound is that it’s full of odd and eccentric characters, the types who would you actually expect to find trying to rob the U.S. Navy of narcotics in the 1950s. My favorite character was the blind drug dealer named Daddy (Dehl Berti). He has the perfect attitude for someone who had the luxury of not having to see the damage caused by his professions.

Of course, there’s no such thing as a perfect plan. Whenever you get a bunch of criminals together to pull off the perfect heist, there’s bound to be some betrayals and some paranoia. We’ve all seen the ending of Goodfellas and we all know what the piano coda from Layla means. Complicating matters is that a big part of the scheme requires Paula to fake being an ambulance nurse and that means that she’s going to have to work with an honest ambulance driver named Eddie Mason (Stuart Whitman). Eddie is a good, working class guy who just wants to help people and make the world a better place. How can Paula go through with her part of the plan when she’s got Eddie looking at his hands and saying that he wants to use them to be a healer!?

I really liked Hell Bound. I wasn’t expecting much from it but it turned out to be a really effective and clever 50s film noir. Clocking in at 70 minutes, it doesn’t have any time for excess padding or anything else. As soon as the film-within-a-film comes to an end, it jumps right into the action and it doesn’t let up. Add to that, you’ve got John Russell giving a tough and gritty performance as the wannabe criminal mastermind and then you’ve got Stuart Whitman managing to make his self-righteous character likable and June Blair doing a great job as the femme fatal. Hell Bound is bit of an unsung classic, a tough and gritty film noir that packs a punch.

Guilty Pleasure No. 5: Invasion U.S.A.

Posted on May 1, 2013 by Arleigh

Time to put up a new guilty pleasure that goes way, way back for me. This flick came out a year after the ultra-violent, thus equally awesome Red Dawn. As a very impressionable young boy that film had me and my brother and a select group of friends coming up with ways to form our very own Wolverines. While our plans were really just an excuse to play war games in the playground it was the following year in 1985 when this latest “guilty pleasure” had my brother and I moving up to a new level doomsday prepping.

That film was the Chuck Norris classic bloodbath: Invasion U.S.A.

Instead of the Soviet military invading the U.S. mainland this time around it would be Latin American communist guerrillas led by a Rogue KGB agent who would be doing the invading. Well, invading the suburbs and malls of Florida at least. Just like in true exploitation fashion the film would use the fear Americans had of foreign terrorists (this was the era of the airline hijackings, hostage takings and cafe bombings) finally putting it in their heads to strike at the American heartland.

But who would stop them if none other than the poor man’s Sylvester Stallone. He was no Rambo, but his name has become even more feared in popular culture. He is Chuck Norris and he’s the country’s only savior against hundreds of well-armed terrorist guerrillas and the rogue Soviet leaders. For a pre-teen set this was a flick that opened up the imagination to new levels of violence (thus awesome playground wargaming afterwards) and epic action. It’s not a surprise that it would be the Cannon Films group led by Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus (proprietors of some of the 80’s best and most violent action films of the era).

This film has become a sort of cult classic amongst action film aficionados. It’s literally a film that puts on the action gas from the start and doesn’t let up. Even has grindhouse stalwarts like Richard Lynch and Billy Drago to give it some exploitation creds.

They sure don’t make action flicks like this anymore. Which really is a damn bloody shame.

On a side note: this is one flick I hope Lisa Marie, Leonard and these Snarkalecs they seem to be hanging about it to view one night if it ever airs on TV.