Holidays on the Lens: It’s Christmas, Carol! (dir by Michael M. Scott)


In 2012’s It’s Christmas, Carol, Emmanuelle Vaugier plays Carol, a publishing executive who has lost sight of what the holidays should be all about.  The ghost of her former boss (played by Carrie Fisher) appears to her and takes her on a journey through her past, present, and future….

Does this sound familiar?

Tis the season for a hundred variations on the classic Charles Dickens tale!  This one’s cute, though.  Carrie Fisher gives a good performance as the ghost who has to do the job of three because of “budget cutbacks.”

Guilty Horror Pleasure #87: The ‘Burbs (dir by Joe Dante)


1989’s The ‘Burbs takes place in …. well, it’s right there in the title.

Welcome to the suburbs!  It’s place with big houses, green lawns, and neighbors who often don’t have much to do other than watch each other and gossip.  Ray Peterson (Tom Hanks) lives with his wife, Carol (Carrie Fisher), and is friends with Art Weingartner (Rick Ducommun) and Mark Rumsfield (Bruce Dern).  Ricky Butler (Corey Feldman) is the local teenager.  It’s a nice neighborhood …. at least, until the Klopeks move in.

The Klopeks are viewed with suspicion from the minute they show up.  They’re from a different country, they always seem to be burying something in their backyard, and Dr. Werner Klopek (Henry Gibson) is oddly stand-offish.  When Walter Seznick (Gale Gordon) disappears and the the Klopeks are seen around Walter’s house and with Walter’s dog, Ray and his friends start to suspect that their new neighbors might be ritualistic murderers!

Oh, how I love The ‘Burbs.  The film’s portrait of the suburbs as being a hotbed of paranoia may be a familiar one but it doesn’t matter when you’ve got actors like Tom Hanks and Bruce Dern throwing themselves into their roles.  As always, Hanks is the glue that holds the film and its disparate parts together, giving a likable performance as a man who goes from being the voice of reason to being convinced that his neighbors are cannibals.  Bruce Dern gleefully sends up his own image as a paranoid Vietnam vet but there’s also a sweetness to Dern’s performance that really makes it stand out.  Dern’s character might be a little crazy but he does truly care about his neighbors.

Just as he did with Piranha and The Howling, Dante balances humor with suspense.  He does such a good job of telling the story and getting good performances from his cast, that even the film’s big twist works far better than one might expect.  It’s an 80s film so, of course, a few things explode towards the end of it.  The film’s character-based humor is replaced with some broader jokes but no matter.  The Burbs is an entertaining trip to the heart of suburban paranoia.

As the saying goes, just because you’re paranoid, that doesn’t mean that they aren’t out to get you.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

  1. Half-Baked
  2. Save The Last Dance
  3. Every Rose Has Its Thorns
  4. The Jeremy Kyle Show
  5. Invasion USA
  6. The Golden Child
  7. Final Destination 2
  8. Paparazzi
  9. The Principal
  10. The Substitute
  11. Terror In The Family
  12. Pandorum
  13. Lambada
  14. Fear
  15. Cocktail
  16. Keep Off The Grass
  17. Girls, Girls, Girls
  18. Class
  19. Tart
  20. King Kong vs. Godzilla
  21. Hawk the Slayer
  22. Battle Beyond the Stars
  23. Meridian
  24. Walk of Shame
  25. From Justin To Kelly
  26. Project Greenlight
  27. Sex Decoy: Love Stings
  28. Swimfan
  29. On the Line
  30. Wolfen
  31. Hail Caesar!
  32. It’s So Cold In The D
  33. In the Mix
  34. Healed By Grace
  35. Valley of the Dolls
  36. The Legend of Billie Jean
  37. Death Wish
  38. Shipping Wars
  39. Ghost Whisperer
  40. Parking Wars
  41. The Dead Are After Me
  42. Harper’s Island
  43. The Resurrection of Gavin Stone
  44. Paranormal State
  45. Utopia
  46. Bar Rescue
  47. The Powers of Matthew Star
  48. Spiker
  49. Heavenly Bodies
  50. Maid in Manhattan
  51. Rage and Honor
  52. Saved By The Bell 3. 21 “No Hope With Dope”
  53. Happy Gilmore
  54. Solarbabies
  55. The Dawn of Correction
  56. Once You Understand
  57. The Voyeurs 
  58. Robot Jox
  59. Teen Wolf
  60. The Running Man
  61. Double Dragon
  62. Backtrack
  63. Julie and Jack
  64. Karate Warrior
  65. Invaders From Mars
  66. Cloverfield
  67. Aerobicide 
  68. Blood Harvest
  69. Shocking Dark
  70. Face The Truth
  71. Submerged
  72. The Canyons
  73. Days of Thunder
  74. Van Helsing
  75. The Night Comes for Us
  76. Code of Silence
  77. Captain Ron
  78. Armageddon
  79. Kate’s Secret
  80. Point Break
  81. The Replacements
  82. The Shadow
  83. Meteor
  84. Last Action Hero
  85. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
  86. The Horror At 37,000 Feet

Robert Englund as Han Solo? A Little May 4th Trivia


Can you imagine how things might have played out if Robert Englund had played Han Solo?

It’s not as far-fetched as it might sound.  In his autobiography, Hollywood Monster: A Walk Down Elm Street with the Man of Your Dreams, Englund mentions that he was one of the many actor who, in 1975, auditioned for a role in the first Star Wars film.  It’s often forgotten that, before he became famous as Freddy Krueger in A Nightmare In Elm Street, Englund was a busy character actor who had roles in several big studio productions in the 70s.  He was definitely a part of the “new Hollywood” that included people like George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Jon Milius.

Though Englund doesn’t go into much detail, he does say that he read for the roles of both Han Solo and Luke Skywalker.  At the time, Englund didn’t feel that he was right for either role and he went back to his apartment under the correct impression that he would not be cast.  However, he did feel that his friend and then-roommate Mark Hamill would be a good pick for Luke Skywalker and Englund writes that he encouraged Hamill to try out for the role.

Would Mark Hamill have been cast if Robert Englund hadn’t told him about the audition?  Probably.  Given that Star Wars was Lucas’s follow-up to the very popular American Graffiti, it’s probable that every struggling young actor in Hollywood was hoping to audition.  As well, Hamill was not totally unknown to George Lucas, having early read for a role in American Graffiti.  Still, it’s nice to think that, long before he was cast as Freddy Krueger, Robert Englund may have played a role in casting one of the most successful films of all time.

What would Robert Englund have been like as Han Solo?  He definitely would not have been as grouchy as Harrison Ford’s Han.  Indeed, one of the striking things out about Englund’s pre-Nightmare career was how he was usually cast as friendly characters who were almost shy.  Englund would have been friendlier and rather eccentric Han Solo but I think he would have been entertaining in his way.

Because of the film’s success, it can be a bit difficult to know who was actually considered for a role in Star Wars.  Lucas has said that he originally wanted to cast Black actor Glynn Turman as Han Solo but he feared audiences would not accept the possibility of an interracial romance between him and Leia, even in a galaxy far away.  (Lucas’s regret over that decision is one of the things that led to the casting of Billy Dee Williams as Lando Calrissian.)  The film’s IMDb trivia page insists that everyone from Al Pacino to Bill Murray to Marlon Brando to Chevy Chase was considered for the role of Han Solo and I have to say that this is a case where I doubt the accuracy of the IMDb.  Harrison Ford, who had originally been hired only to read with people at the auditions, eventually got the role despite telling Lucas, about the script, “You can type this shit but you can’t say it.”

In several interviews, Christopher Lee expressed regret at having turned down the role of Grand Moff Tarkin, which was instead played by Lee’s best friend Peter Cushing.  Interestingly enough, Cushing was also one of Lucas’s choices for Obi-Wan Kenobi so it’s easy to imagine a universe in which Star Wars reunited two Hammer films legends, along with setting box office records.

Famously, Lucas held joint-auditions with his friend Brian De Palma.  De Palma was casting Carrie and just about everyone who read for one of the films also read for the other.  Reportedly, William Katt came close to getting the role of Luke before instead being cast as Carrie’s doomed prom date.  Amy Irving was also a strong contender for Leia, before instead ending up as Sue Snell in De Palma’s film.  Some source that that Sissy Spacek also read for Leia, though I’ve also read that Spacek was not a part of the joint-auditions.  That’s one thing about collecting trivia about classic films.  It’s often hard to know what’s true and what’s just wishful thinking.

I should mention that another strong contender for Han Solo (and reportedly Luke as well) was Kurt Russell.  It’s actually easy to imagine Kurt Russell as Han and, just as with Englund, it leads to an intriguing game of what if.  Would Kurt Russell have gone on to have Harrison Ford’s career if he had been cast in Star Wars?  Would Russell have gone to play Indiana Jones and Jack Ryan if he had been cast as Han Solo and would Harrison Ford have ended up helping the President to Escape from New York?  Or is it just as possible that Star Wars have not worked without the chemistry of Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, and Mark Hamill?  Would a Kurt Russell, Amy Irving, and William Katt version of Star Wars captured the imagination of audiences?

It’s a question to which there is no real answer, a bit like wondering if The Godfather would have been as big a hit if it had starred George C. Scott, Martin Sheen, and Burt Reynolds.  Still, it’s interesting to consider.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Gun 1.5 “The Hole”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Gun, an anthology series that ran on ABC for six week in 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the gun ends up at the bottom of a swimmin’ hole!

Episode 1.5 “The Hole”

(Dir by Ted Demme, originally aired on May 24th, 1997)

Yep, this episode of Gun centers around an old country swimming hole.  Every day, teenage Sondra (Kirsten Dunst) and her younger brothers, Brendan (Drake Bell) and Tad (Joe Pichler), head down to the Hole.  For Sondra, swimming in the Hole is a chance to escape from her life of living in a trailer park with her trashy mother (Carrie Fisher) and her pervy stepfather (Cliff Bemis).  For Brendan and Tad, going to the Hole is a chance to look for the treasure that they are convinced is at the bottom of the water.  It is true that there is something shiny in the Hole.  Sondra thinks that it might be the diamonds that she could use to finance an escape from the trailer park and a one-way trip down to Florida.  Actually, it’s the pearl-handled gun that’s been at the center of every episode of Gun.

(In this episode, it’s suggested that the gun has been at the bottom of the hole for over a year.  So, how did it end up in that town in the first place?  Is this episode taking place before or after the previous episodes?  I guess the simple solution is that it’s not the same gun as the gun seen in the previous episodes but the part of me that loves continuity is having a hard time accepting that.)

The gun belonged to James Munday (Johnny Whitworth), who has only recently been released from prison.  He was convicted of murdering his girlfriend and only the fact that he was a minor at the time kept him from being given a life sentence.  James claims that his girlfriend died as a part of a failed suicide pact and he’s convinced that the gun in the Hole can prove his innocence.

When James and Sondra meet, it doesn’t take long for them to fall for each other.  Sondra remains James of his dead girlfriend and Sondra, like of all of us, is attracted to brooding rebels.  However, when the rest of the town hears that James has been going to the Hole, a lynch mob is formed.  Dick Sproule (Max Gail), the father of the girl that James was convicted of killing, is soon at the Hole with a rifle in his hands.  Can James prove his innocence and will the town even care?

This episode was extremely overwrought and it featured every flaw that tends to turn me off of anthology shows in general.  All of the characters were broadly drawn.  The dialogue was way overwritten.  Director Ted Demme told the story with a heavy-hand and used slow motion as if he was under the impression that he was the first director to ever consider heightening the drama by slowing things down.  The whole thing just felt like a bad creative writing assignment.  Out of the cast, only Kirsten Dunst was able to really create a character who felt as if she had a life outside of the demands of the story.  Everyone else seemed to be a caricature.  In the end, James may have been a hot, brooding rebel but he was also kind of whiny.  That got old pretty quickly.

*Sigh*  Well, that’s another disappointing episode of Gun for you!  Next week, I’ll be reviewing the series finale.  Hopefully, this show will at least end on a worthwhile note.

A Belated (?) Happy Life Day From The Shattered Lens


Happy Life Day!

Now, I know there’s some confusion out there as to when exactly Life Day is celebrated.  Some people say that it’s celebrated on November 17th because that’s the date that The Star Wars Holiday Special premiered way back in 1978.  But listen …. I’ve seen The Holiday Special.  I forced my friends in the Late Night Movie Gang to watch it with me a few years ago and they’ve never forgiven me.  And I can tell you, from having watched it, that Life Day takes place on December 25th.  I mean, it was so obviously an intergalactic version of Christmas that I don’t even know where to start.  November 17th?  No way!  Life Day is December 25th!

And, even if it isn’t — well, isn’t a late holiday greeting better than no holiday greeting at all?

So, while those of us here on Earth celebrate our holidays, other planets are celebrating Life Day and that’s okay.  Vive la différence!

So, to all of our readers who are observing today or who maybe observed back in November or whenever — Happy Life Day from the Shattered Lens!

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker – Final Trailer


Well, it all comes down to this.

During tonight’s Monday Night Football game between the New England Patriots and New York Jets, ESPN is hosting the final trailer for J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. The last film of the new trilogy, The Rise of Skywalker seems to have Rey (Daisy Ridley) coming into her own as a Jedi. It also looks like her friends are due to face a new threat, could it really be The Emperor? While Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi may have left some audiences divided, Disney is hoping this will bring everyone in line and in the theatre. It seems to be working as theatres around the country are already selling out in pre-sales for the film.

It looks like we have Rey and Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) fighting against and alongside each other again. Could this also mean some sort of redemption for Kylo? We’ll find out come December 19th, when the film is released.

Enjoy!

Sorority Row, Review By Case Wright


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Horror can make a political statement, it can make you reflect on your status in society, or it can just entertain.  The first two types are good, but it’s also nice to just have fun! “Sorority Row” written by Josh Stolberg & Peter Goldfinger and directed by Stewart Hendler is a 1990s throwback.  It had a real “I Know What You Did Last Summer” feel to it.  Honestly, the reviews are not fair to this film.  A lot of people want horror to be all things, but it’s supposed to be fun too.  So, just relax and have a good time.  Also, it doubled its money, which is what a movie is supposed to do- especially horror. It’s one of the few genres left that can produced by mere mortals.

What I liked mostly about the film was the writing.  It had a lot of great humor without it being campy. I’ve gotten to know Josh Stolberg on twitter the script has quite a bit of his personality: clever and quick-witted.  I especially enjoyed Jessica (Leah Pipes).  As a man who went a Greek dominated college, she was very realistic.  Her character and one-liners gave the story a mix of comic relief and reality.  I practiced Criminal Law for waaaaay too long and I can tell you that even honest people can turn to something wicked if they feel threatened.  People will invariably choose themselves over a possible life ending punishment.

The plot is similar to the original House on Sorority Row: a prank run a muck.  The girls belong to Theta Pi and they to love to party, prank, and get murdered.  Garrett a brother of the Sister “Chuggs” cheated on Megan another Theta Pi, which is not okay! So, the sisters have her fake an overdose so that Garrett believes he killed Megan.  The sisters: Jessica, Ellie, Cassidy, Claire, Megan, and Chugs are all in on the prank are a little too convincing because they make Garrett believe that they need to hide Megan’s body in a mine shaft or their lives will be ruined.  The sisters say they have to get rid of the air in Megan’s lungs or she’ll float back up. So, Garrett takes the initiative as a true go-getter and uses a tire iron to stab Megan to death.  Jessica decides very quickly that they need to hide Megan’s body for real.  When Cassidy refuses to participate, they wrap the corpse in Cassidy’s coat and throw it down the mine shaft.  Jessica really thinks fast on her feet.

I don’t know about you, but I think Jessica would be good marriage material. Hear me out: she’s determined, quick-thinking, has a college degree, and is ruthless to protect her goals.  Also, Cassidy tried to be all above it, but as Jessica said- “you could’ve called the police, but you didn’t!”  Agreed.  You don’t get to benefit from something wicked and then look down on everyone else.  Jessica made her choice and stuck to it.  She made a good point as to protecting everyone’s future and ran with it.  Cassidy kept Hamletting over her bad choices.  Do it or Don’t.  Jessica, don’t listen to the haters.

All seems fine a year later.  They’ve all moved on except for Garrett who has become a wreck over his humiliation and accidental murdering.   Then, they all receive a threatening group text on their very old timey looking phones- 2009 was just ten years ago and these phones look like museum pieces.  Sorority-Row-Megan-s-HERO-Cell-Phone-1.jpg

This technology allowed for some extra suspense because reception and tech wasn’t that great then; therefore, the characters can be cutoff from help.  I really think horror shouldn’t be set any time after 2009 because it’s just too easy to get help now.  This lack of tech added a nice layer of suspense.  The text sender stalks and murders them one by one.

The kills were pretty clever: an electrocution, death by chardonnay, tire iron throwing, and a good ol’ fashioned stabbing or three.  It also had a fun twist at the end like the 1990s horror films of my youth.   I recommend this film.  Read my past reviews- I don’t just recommend anything.  I’m an iconoclast and can tell you that this was a lot of fun. Happy Horrorthon!

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Here’s The Trailer For — Deep Breath — Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker


Here’s the new trailer for an obscure little art film called …. Stars Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker!

My first reaction, to be honest, is that the title is extremely unwieldy.  I imagine that most people in the real world will just call it “the new Star Wars film” while people on twitter will demand that it only be called “Episode IX.”  I’m not going to speculate on which Skywalker is rising.  The majority of them seem to be dead.  Perhaps the film will end with Adam Driver taking over the universe and destroying it, Thanos-style.  That would be kind of fun.

I’m not really big into Star Wars.  You may have already guessed that.  While everyone else is going crazy over this trailer, I have to admit that my first reaction was, “Again with the desert?”  But, snarkiness aside, it’s a nicely done trailer.  There’s no way not to be excited by that scene of Rey doing a back flip over that cruiser.  And any trailer that ends with mocking laughter is okay with me.  Apparently, the Emperor is back.  And so is Billy Dee Williams.

(For that matter, Carrie Fisher will be in the film, as well.  Director J.J. Abrams has said that there was enough unused Fisher footage from the previous two sequels that Leia will be able to play a role in The Rise of Skywalker.)

It’s always somewhat weird to me to see how controversial the Star Wars films have become.  I really don’t have enough shrug emojis available to me to express how I react whenever I see people on twitter debating whether or not the last movie was any good or not.  I liked The Force Awakens and I respected the fact that Rogue One killed off the entire cast.  I was kind of indifferent to both Solo and The Last Jedi.

But, let’s hope the best for The Rise of Skywalker!  Apparently, the Star Wars franchise will be going on a bit of a hiatus after the release of this one.  (That said, if The Rise of Skywalker does better at the box office than Solo or The Last Jedi, that hiatus could be a short one.)  So, let’s hope that they (temporarily) end on a good note!

Celebrate Life Day With The Star Wars Holiday Special!


Happy Life Day!

The Star Wars Holiday Special was first aired in 1978 and, over the years, it has achieved a certain amount of infamy.  Some people say that it’s the worst thing to ever be made for TV.  To those people, I say that 1) that’s not a good attitude to have on Life Day and 2) have you seen Disco Beaver From Outer Space?

Anyway, this is a musical Star Wars extravaganza.  One thing that makes it interesting is that Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher were all ordered to appear in it.  Seeing as how Harrison Ford tends to come across as being grumpy on a good day, I can only imagine how he reacted to filming The Star Wars Holiday Special.

Also, a few years ago, Val reviewed the Hell out of this thing.  Be sure to check out her review.

And now, for those of you looking to experience a dubious piece of pop culture history on this Christmas, we present to you …. The Star Wars Holiday Special!

Cleaning Out The DVR: This Is My Life (dir by Nora Ephron)


(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR.  She has over 170 movies recorded and she’s trying to get them all watched before the beginning of the new year!  Will she make it?  Keep checking the Shattered Lens to find out!  She recorded the 1992 dramedy This Is My Life off of Indieplex on March 20th.)

This Is My Life tells the story of Dottie Ingels (Julie Kavner).  Dottie may be stuck working in a dead end job at a cosmetics counter but she dreams of becoming a successful comedienne.  She even entertains her customers, who all seem to be delighted to put off making their purchases so that they can listen to an aspiring star tell corny jokes that were probably considered to be dated even at the height of vaudeville.  Most of Dottie’s jokes deal with raising her daughters — Erica (Samantha Mathis) and Opal (Gabby Hoffman) — on her own.  Times may not be easy but … well, actually, as portrayed in this movie, times are remarkably easy for a single mom with a job in retail.  It’s certainly easier for Dottie than it ever was for my mom.

Anyway, Dottie’s aunt dies and leaves her some money, so Dottie moves herself and her daughters to New York City so that she can pursue her comedy career.  With the help of an eccentric agent (Dan Aykroyd) and his assistant (Carrie Fisher), Dottie starts to find success as a performer but her daughters also start to resent the fact that their mother is no longer around as much as she used to be.  While Dottie is getting invitations to appear on late night talk shows, Erica and Opal are feeling neglected.  Finally, they decide to run away from home and head upstate to see their father, little realizing that he may not have room for them in his new life.

This Is My Life is one of those films that could only have been made by someone totally in love with the concept (as opposed to the reality) of show business.  While Dottie does have to sacrifice to find success, the film has no doubt that the sacrifices are worth it.  As played by Dan Aykroyd, Dottie’s agent is a big lovable eccentric who just wants the best for all of his clients.  In fact, everyone in this movie just wants the best for Dottie.  As a result, the film is so good-natured that you kind of feel guilty if you don’t force yourself to love it.  At the same time, it’s such an unabashedly sentimental movie that it’s difficult to take any of its conflicts seriously.  It’s like a fantasy of what it’s like to be an aspiring star in New York.  Making her directorial debut, the famous writer Nora Ephron laid on the schmaltz so thick that, for the majority of the film, there’s not even a hint of a rough edge or a ragged corner.  This is a film that really could have used a little more profanity.  And while Julie Kavner is undoubtedly a funny actress, she’s never believable as a stand-up comedienne.  (At least not a successful one…)

That said, there were a few things that I did like about This Is My Life.  Mathis and Hoffman are believable as sisters and there’s a natural poignancy to the scenes where they manage to track down their father.  I related to those scenes and they brought tears to my mismatched eyes, not that it’s particularly hard to do that.  Otherwise, This Is My Life felt like a typical directorial debut: heartfelt, uneven, well-intentioned, and just a little too heavy-handed.