Brad reviews FAMILY OF COPS (1995), starring Charles Bronson!


Legendary actor Charles Bronson ended his five-decade career by starring in a series of made-for-TV movies, FAMILY OF COPS (1995), BREACH OF FAITH: A FAMILY OF COPS II (1997), and FAMILY OF COPS III: UNDER SUSPICION (1999). I was in my mid-twenties as this series played out, and I enjoyed each of the installments. Today, I’m going to take a look at the first in the series.

In FAMILY OF COPS, Charles Bronson stars as Police Inspector Paul Fein. Paul, a widower as we enter this story, leads a family who is heavily involved in law enforcement in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. His oldest son Ben (Daniel Baldwin) is a detective on the force. Ben is a family man in a loving marriage with several wild kids. Paul’s younger son Eddie (Sebastian Spence) is a patrol cop. Eddie’s single, has a beautiful girlfriend, and seems to be a nice guy with a well-adjusted life. Paul’s oldest daughter Kate (Barbara Williams) is a local public defender. She seems to be dedicated to her work, not leaving much time for a social life. And then there’s Paul’s youngest daughter Jackie (Angela Featherstone), who has moved out to California and refers to herself as “the family curse.” This story opens with Jackie reluctantly coming back to Milwaukee to attend her dad’s birthday party. All Paul wants for his birthday is for his family to be together. We soon learn that neither Ben or Kate care much for Jackie and her irresponsible life choices. As a matter of fact, the reason she ran off to California in the first place was to get out from under her family’s disapproval. It’s not long after she gets back that the family wishes she would have stayed away. Sneaking out of her sister’s house late at night to drink and party, she meets the prominent local businessman Adam Novacek (Simon MacCorkindale), eventually going to his home and engaging in sexual intercourse. Sadly, the next morning she wakes up to Novacek’s recently deceased corpse, and she’s arrested as the prime suspect in his murder. Convinced of her innocence, Paul, Ben, and Eddie set about trying to clear her name and find the real murderer. Besides Jackie, other suspects begin to emerge, including Novacek’s current wife Anna (Lesley-Anne Down), his former wife Laura (Kate Trotter), who’s now confined to a looney bin, and a local gangster named Frank Rampola (John Vernon), who has a vendetta against Paul for recently busting his grandson. How far will Paul Fein go to protect his family in his search for a killer?!!

FAMILY OF COPS is a perfect example of what I would refer to as entertainment for the “older person crowd,” and I don’t mean this as a put-down in any way as I enjoyed the movie. I just mean that it fits a type of entertainment that was popular in the 80’s and 90’s. These types of shows would depend greatly on the charisma or reputation of a veteran actor or actress, would contain simple production values, and would usually follow formulaic plots. Examples of the types of shows I’m referring to include MURDER, SHE WROTE with Angela Lansbury, MATLOCK with Andy Griffith, DIAGNOSIS MURDER with Dick Van Dyke, and WALKER: TEXAS RANGER with Chuck Norris. A combination of my dad, mom and grandma loved all of these shows. I’m a big fan of MATLOCK myself. In this case, FAMILY OF COPS leans heavily on Charles Bronson’s five decades as a tough guy icon to anchor a somewhat formulaic crime film and family melodrama. The role of Paul Fein fits a 73-year-old Bronson like a glove. He’s still in good physical shape, and the movie gives him a couple of opportunities to punch the shit out of some much younger thugs and henchmen. That was fun for me.

The supporting cast of the film is solid. Daniel Baldwin and Angela Featherstone make the biggest impact. Baldwin is good as the oldest son, a hothead, tough guy on the job who is constantly being humbled at home. Featherstone has the most beautiful eyes, and her rebellious character seems to have a good heart, but she just can’t seem to keep herself out of trouble. Paul Fein’s love for his troubled daughter Jackie is a sweet part of the story and provides something that most of us can relate to. She told me that she “loved Charles,” and I think you can see that in their scenes together. Sebastian Spence and Barbara Williams don’t have a lot to do in this first installment, but their characters will get their own moments to shine in the sequels. I also enjoy seeing John Vernon and Lesley Anne-Down show up in the movie as various persons of interest throughout the story. Bronson and Lesley Anne-Down had recently worked together in DEATH WISH V: THE FACE OF DEATH (1994) and were reportedly good friends in real life. Ted Kotcheff directed FAMILY OF COPS, which I find kind of disappointing. The same guy who directed movies like NORTH DALLAS FORTY (1979) and FIRST BLOOD (1982) didn’t bring anything special to the table in this film. I know it’s a modestly budgeted made-for-TV movie, but the best that can be said for the direction is that it’s workmanlike, and you would never suspect that the director had once helmed the original Rambo movie.

Ultimately, I enjoy FAMILY OF COPS because it stars Charles Bronson. Even as an older man, Bronson still dominates a scene, and the ratings success of the movie proved that Bronson still had an audience who wanted to see him on screen. And even though the story isn’t very unique and the central mystery isn’t very exciting, just the fact that Bronson is leading a solid story that includes action, crime, mystery and family melodrama will always provide some moments of joy for his fans like me. This is far from Bronson’s best work, but the old workhorse still knows how to entertain!

Heaven Is A Playground (1991, directed by Randall Fried)


In the projects of Chicago, Byron Harper (Michael Warren) runs a nonprofit basketball farming system and helps black kids, many of whom would have no other prospects other than a live of poverty or crime, to find a home in college basketball programs.  Byron is passionate about what he does but he’s also a stern taskmaster and not quick to forgive.  When one of his best players, Casey (Nigel Miguel), developed a drinking problem, Byron kicked him off his team.  Byron’s main concern is his stepson, Truth (Victor Love).  Truth is a great basketball player but also has an addiction to cocaine and an attitude problem.

For reasons that are never made clear, white lawyer Zack Telander (D.B. Sweeney) shows up on the court and says he wants to play one-on-one with Byron.  Everyone assumes that Zack is a drug dealer and they tell him to get lost.  But when one of the players is shot, Zack is the only person at the court who has a car.  Zack rushes the player to the hospital and he wins Byron’s trust.  Byron needs Zack to look over a professional contract that is being offered to Truth by sleazy sports agent David Racine (Richard Jordan).

For reasons that are again never made clear, Byron tells Zack to coach some of the more troubled players on the court, including Casey.  At first, Zack isn’t much of a coach but eventually, he gets the players to trust him and start playing like a team.  He also tries to get burned-out Matthew Lockhart (Bo Kimble) to start playing the game again.

Heaven Is A Playground is a mess of a movie that doesn’t really seem to be sure what it wants to say about basketball, the projects, or race relations.  The main problem is that a lot of the decisions made by Byron and Zack don’t make any sort of logical sense.  Moments of broad comedy are mixed with moments of high drama and it makes for an unconvincing and overly melodramatic sports movie.

Heaven Is A Playground had a long pre-production phase.  At one point, a young Michael Jordan agreed to play the role of Matthew Lockhart.  By the time the film actually went into production, Jordan was a superstar and had neither the time (nor, probably, the desire) to co-star in a low-budget sports movie.  After the movie flopped, director Randall Fried sued Jordan for breach-of-contract, claiming that he caused the film’s box office failure by refusing to appear in it and, as a result, Fried’s directorial career stalled.  In the suit, Fried claimed that he was on the verge of being “the next Steven Spielberg” until Jordan refused to do his film.  The jury found Jordan not liable and awarded him $50,000.

(Trying to sue Michael Jordan was a terrible idea in 1998 and it’s probably still a terrible idea today.  People love Jordan!)

Personally, I have to say that Mike made the right decision.

Desert Phantom (1936, directed by S. Roy Luby)


In a frontier town, rancher Jean Halloran (Sheila Bromley) has a big problem.  Someone is shooting and killing all of her ranch hands and sending her notes in which he tells her to give up her ranch and leave town.  When an ammunition salesman and trick shooter named Billy Donavon (Johnny Mack Brown), Jean hires him to serve as a bodyguard and to track down the mysterious Phantom.  Billy, however, has a secret of his own.

Desert Phantom is a remake of an old Harry Carey film.  I don’t know why Poverty Row did remakes since all of their films pretty much had the same plot regardless.  A stranger comes into town and gets involved with a female rancher and a bad guy who is trying to hide his actual identity.  In this one, Nelson McDowell gets to supply the comic relief as a befuddled veterinarian while familiar faces like Ted Adams and Karl Hackett are there to keep us guessing about how the Phantom could actually be.  If you’ve watched enough of these movies, though, you’ll always be able to guess who the bad guy is.

This isn’t the best of Johnny Mack Brown’s movies.  The Phantom’s story seems like it could have been interesting but that would have meant taking more risks than most of the Poverty Row studios were willing to do.  Johnny Mack Brown is as convincing a cowboy as always and is the film’s saving grace.  Brown was a western star precisely because he could make even something like Desert Phantom watchable.

The Hong Kong Film Corner – WE’RE GOING TO EAT YOU (1980), directed by Tsui Hark! 


WE’RE GOING TO EAT YOU (1980) is the story of Agent 999 (Norman Chu), an agent of the Central Surveillance Agency, who has come to a remote island to catch a notorious criminal who goes by the name of Rolex (Melvin Wong). Once he gets there, he discovers that the island is overrun by crazed cannibals and is ruled over with an iron fist by a power mad Chief (Eddy Ko). Chief hoards the human meat of unsuspecting travelers who happen upon the island for himself and his soldiers, leaving the villagers at the point of starvation. As Agent 999 continues his investigation and tries to avoid becoming lunch, he finds out that the repentant criminal Rolex has become the Chief’s aid in order to expose the evils of the island to the authorities on the mainland without having to go back to jail himself. When Rolex’s plans don’t work out, Agent 999 must then team up with a goofy thief (Hon Kwok-Choi) to fight off the cannibals, save his newfound love (Michelle Kim), and get the hell off of the island in one piece!

The second film to be directed by Hong Kong icon Tsui Hark, WE’RE GOING TO EAT YOU is a wild hybrid of a film that leans heavily into horror, comedy and martial arts. It’s a rather odd mix that contains jarring shifts in tone, a staple of Hong Kong Cinema of the 80’s. One minute we’re watching men have their arms cut off and their guts ripped out, only to immediately shift to slapstick rape humor, before shifting to badass martial arts / roller skating kung fu action choreographed by a young Corey Yuen. Completely unpolished in terms of production values, it’s nonetheless acquired somewhat of a cult classic status due to its raw energy, gory subject matter, directorial pedigree, and anti-communist political themes. I thought Norman Chu was good as Agent 999, even if his charismatic agent isn’t always as observant as we’d hope he’d be. Eddy Ko, who is in one of my favorite Hong Kong films THE MISSION (1999), can be both menacing and goofy as the Chief who will pretty much do anything to preserve his power and supply of meat. The island village puts off its own scary vibes with its creepy slaughterhouse and masked cannibals, always at the ready to hack off a body part. It all adds up to a rather unique viewing experience. 

While WE’RE GOING TO EAT YOU is certainly not for everyone due to its subject matter, those who appreciate the frenetic action of Hong Kong cinema will enjoy this film. It will also fit the bill for those who like kung fu action mashups served with sides of gory gore and silly giggles. Just don’t expect it to have the polished look of Hark’s later films such as PEKING OPERA BLUES (1986) and ONCE UPON A TIME IN CHINA (1991). 

Ricky Nelson: Original Teen Idol (1999, directed by Sturla Gunnarsson)


It’s a story as old as time.

Ricky Nelson (Greogry Calpakis) is a star on his parents’s TV show but what he really wants to be is a rock and roll singer.  Ozzie (Jamey Sheridan) and Harriet Nelson (Sara Botsford) don’t know much about the strange rock and roll music but they do know that girls love it when Ricky plays the guitar and sings.  Ricky becomes a star and a teen idol but chafes at his parents’s attempts to control his music and his image.

This is another one of those behind-the-scenes entertainment biopics that were all the rage of television for a while.  This one was made for VH-1 instead of the any of the major networks and, as a result, it’s a little bit explicit in its depiction of Ricky’s sex life and his later drug use.  Ricky goes from being a teen idol to being a long-haired proto-hippie, getting booed by all the squares who only want to hear the oldies.  Not surprisingly, it’s a pretty shallow movie.  Ricky is played by Gregory Calpakis, who appears to be the same age of Jamey Sheridan, who plays his father.

Movies like this will never go out of style.  It’s inevitable that eventually, there will be biopics of Cobain, Bradley Nowell, Mac Miller, and all the rest.  They’ll be AI-generated which will make them seem even worse.

Again, a story as old as time.

Brad reviews SHATTERED (2007) starring Pierce Brosnan, Gerard Butler, and Maria Bello!


My wife and I decided to watch SHATTERED (2007), also known as BUTTERFLY ON A WHEEL, on a whim tonight. We were browsing through Amazon Prime when I saw Gerard Butler on the preview, and that was enough for me to watch it. Sierra likes cheesy thrillers, which this definitely gives off that vibe, so she was all in as well. 

SHATTERED is set in Chicago and opens on the Randall’s, a seemingly perfect little family, made up of Neil (Gerard Butler), Abby (Maria Bello), and their beautiful daughter, Sophie. Neil’s a successful, if somewhat ethically challenged businessman on the verge of a big promotion, and life is good. That is, until a stranger (Pierce Brosnan) literally pops up in the couple’s life out of nowhere, tells them that he’s kidnapped Sophie, and forces them to do whatever he says or he’ll kill the girl. One moment they’re emptying their bank accounts only to see the stranger burn the money, and the next they’re delivering incriminating business documents to the competition that will destroy Neil’s company and his career. As the demands escalate, we learn that Neil and Abby’s lives aren’t quite as perfect as initially presented. But who is this stranger, why is he doing this, and how far will he force them to go to save their daughter?

I enjoyed SHATTERED quite a bit. It’s one of those movies that rope you in with its intriguing premise… a mysterious stranger puts a happy couple through hell, and we don’t know why he’s doing it, but we want to! This type of story, if done well, always pulls me in even though we’ve seen it done many times before. It’s helped by the game cast. Pierce Brosnan is appropriately intense and menacing as the stranger, helping us believe that he’ll hurt their daughter if they don’t follow his orders. James Bond, he is not! I’m a big fan of Gerard Butler, and he’s good here. His character is not the badass that we’ve come to expect from him these days, and he’s not that great of a guy either, but he does a good job of portraying a morally compromised guy whose life is spiraling out of control. Maria Bello is equal to the task as well, as the desperate mother who’s forced to deal with her husband’s failures at the same time as she’s dealing with any mother’s worst nightmare.

At the end of the day, these types of thrillers live and die based on their “twists” at the end. I have to admit that I was able to figure out the first twist about halfway through the movie, but SHATTERED isn’t content with just one twist, and it seems to stumble somewhat as it continues on after the first big reveal. I don’t blame the writers for trying to come up with something unique to close us out, but it doesn’t feel entirely successful in light of all that’s transpired before. It might actually be worth a rewatch just to see how well it stacks up. 

I’m glad I watched SHATTERED. It’s time-tested storyline and fast pace make it worth a viewing, especially if you’re a fan of the cast like I am. Just keep your expectations in check, and you should enjoy the ride!

Brad reviews SUNDOWN: THE VAMPIRE IN RETREAT (1989), starring David Carradine and Bruce Campbell!


In honor of Bruce Campbell’s 67th birthday, I decided to watch a movie he’s featured in that I’ve never seen before. I thought the horror-comedy SUNDOWN: THE VAMPIRE IN RETREAT looked like it might be fun so I went for it! 

In the desert town of Purgatory, a colony of vampires led by Count Mardulak (David Carradine) want to live in peace, abstaining from human blood, and instead, drinking a blood substitute called “Necktarine,” which is produced in a local factory. They also use high powered sunscreen that allows them to go out in the day time as long as they wear thick sunglasses, big hats or umbrellas, and gloves. Unfortunately, the blood factory begins experiencing production issues, so Mardulak asks David Harrison (Jim Metzler), the unsuspecting human who designed the production process, to come to town and fix their problems. Harrison brings his family with him, including his wife Sarah (Morgan Brittany), and their two daughters. The Harrison family soon find themselves in the middle of an other worldly war as Jefferson (John Ireland) and Shane (Maxwell Caulfied), rebellious local vampires, plot to overthrow Mardulak so they can return to their murderous ways. Meanwhile, Robert Van Helsing (Bruce Campbell), the great grandson of the famed vampire hunter, walks into town, ready to romance the local vampire beauty Sandy (Deborah Foreman) and drive stakes into the hearts of as many bloodsucking freaks as possible!

As far as I’m concerned, SUNDOWN is a blast as a completely absurd horror-comedy that puts an interesting spin on traditional vampire legend, with its endless sunscreen slathering and a growing local weariness over “Necktarine” adding to the good times. It’s campy and silly, with purposely terrible stop motion bat effects, over-the-top family drama, and lots of cheesy one-liners, but of course that’s all part of the charm. 

The B-movie dream cast is what I enjoyed the most about SUNDOWN. David Carradine plays it pretty straight as the town leader Count Mardulak, which is effective when you consider all of the craziness going on around him. Bruce Campbell, and his mustache, steals all of his scenes with his goofy charm and misguided heroics. And, of course, the inimitable M. Emmet Walsh is perfect as old man Mort, a vampire who loses his temper and beheads a disrespectful city slicker. He just can’t help himself. Throw in other veteran character actors like Bert Remsen and John Ireland and it’s easy to enjoy the movie no matter how silly it all gets.

On a personal note, I did want to point out a couple of performances in SUNDOWN that have Arkansas connections. First, Jim Metzler had a solid part a couple of years after this movie in the crime thriller ONE FALSE MOVE (1991), which was co-written by Billy Bob Thornton and partially filmed in Eastern Arkansas. It’s a great movie and Metzler is good in it. Second, Elizabeth Gracen has a small part in the film. Gracen, whose actual name is Elizabeth Ward, won the title of Miss Arkansas in 1981 and then went on to win Miss America in 1982. My uncle Billy was her hair stylist as she made her run to beauty pageant immortality. Other notable Gracen life events include her affair with Arkansas Governor Bill Clinton in 1983, her appearance in Steven Seagal’s MARKED FOR DEATH in 1990, and her Playboy spread in 1992. Interestingly, 18 years old at the time, I saw the layout when my girlfriend’s mom bought the issue and let me look at it! 

Overall, SUNDOWN lets us know right off the bat the kind of absurd movie we’re dealing with, so you’ll either be into it or want to just move on. I was into it, mainly due to its strong cast. It’s not perfect, and it overstays its welcome by a good 15 minutes, but SUNDOWN is a fun watch for fans of silly horror-comedies and the excellent cast. I had a great time with it!

Running Time (1997, directed by Josh Becker)


Carl (Bruce Campbell) is serving a ten-year prison sentence but he gets out in five.  He’s met outside the prison by his old criminal partner. Patrick (Jeremy Roberts).  After Carl makes up for lost time with a prostitute named Janie (Anita Barone), he and Patrick try to rob the prison’s laundry system.  Carl’s spent most of his time in prison carefully plotting out the heist but he didn’t take into account that his old criminal crew is made up of incompetents.

Running Time is only 70 minutes long and the film’s story plays out in real-time.  The movie itself is edited in such a way to create the impression that it was all shot in one continuous take.  It’s gimmicky but, like the film’s noir-style black-and-white cinematography, it works, creating a narrative the feels relentless.  It also makes it clear that Campbell’s Carl is a true career criminal.  He’s not out of prison for more than a handful of minutes before he’s trying to pull his next heist.  Crime is all that Carl really know, which makes his dilemma at the end of the movie (Janie or the money?) very effective.

Running Time is basically a showcase for Bruce Campbell.  Director Josh Becker was a longtime friend and associate of Sam Raimi’s and started his feature career as a production assistant on The Evil Dead.   Running Time feels like it was made with Campbell in mind and Carl is a character who plays to all of Campbell’s strengths.  It’s the perfect film for Campbell’s style of acting and Campbell is just as good when he’s planning the heist as when he’s arguing with Janie about the way that he treated her when they were both in high school together.  (His scenes with the excellent Anita Barone are some of the best in the movie.)  Running Time features Bruce Campbell at his best.

Brad’s thoughts on MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – THE FINAL RECKONING (2025)


I’ve been trying to make it to the theater to watch the latest, and reportedly the final, “Mission: Impossible” film featuring Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt. I was finally able to make it this weekend! This film series has been a big part of my life, with the first film opening when I was just a 22 year old kid, and the final film being released when I’m a 51 year old grandpa! Going back to 1996 when Brian De Palma directed the first in the series, I have seen all eight at the movie theater. I have enjoyed all of them, with MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE II as my clear least favorite, which is quite strange since it was directed by John Woo, my favorite director of all of them. I still like it though. This Mission: Impossible franchise has done the near impossible in the fact that it has gotten better and better over the course of its twenty nine years in existence. The first four films in the franchise experimented with different directors, some of the best in the business. The fifth in the franchise, “ROGUE NATION,” was directed by Christopher McQuarrie, who would then direct the rest of the series, including this final installment. McQuarrie’s sure hand has brought us to this final place. In a way, I’m sad to see it coming to an end, but time seems to take a toll on all of us, even Ethan Hunt / Tom Cruise.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – THE FINAL RECKONING, a direct sequel to MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – DEAD RECKONING PART 1 (2023), opens two months after the prior film. With the evil “Entity” continuing to corrupt global cyberspace and create chaos, it appears the world is headed for a sure nuclear war. With no other choice, U.S. President Erika Sloane (Angela Bassett) reluctantly puts her faith in Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his team of IMF agents, including Benji (Simon Pegg) and Luther (Ving Rhames). He also gets help from Grace (Hayley Atwell), Paris (Pom Klementieff), and Theo (Greg Tarzan Davis). Together this team goes after Gabriel (Esai Morales), an evil terrorist who’s been working with the “Entity,” in a last ditch effort to eliminate the end-of-the-world threat for a bunch of people who will never know what has been done for them.

I think that MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – THE FINAL RECKONING is an excellent conclusion to the series featuring Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt. There are several reasons I feel this way. First, this final episode gives us the things that we’ve loved about the series from the beginning. For example, there is always a section of the film where the team will have to do something that is impossible. They’ll go through the plan with us, the audience, and they’ll explain why it’s impossible and the worst case scenarios they could run into. You can always count on the actual execution of the mission being even worse than the “worst case scenarios,” with the fun being in how they finally achieve their objective after all sorts of complications. We definitely get that here. Second, the relationships that Ethan Hunt shares with his long term team of Luther (all 8 films) and Benji (6 films) bring something special in this final episode. Luther (Ving Rhames) has been with Ethan from the very beginning, and this final episode proves that Ethan isn’t the only person on the team willing to give everything he has to protect a bunch of people who will never know his name. Benji (Simon Pegg) has been with Ethan since the third installment, and the series has seen him go from being nerdy comic relief to an important and trusted member of the team. He’s still funny, but he’s also right in the middle of everything. I like Pegg and it’s been satisfying seeing this character arc. Third, the action sequences are incredible. The final sequence where Ethan Hunt must climb on board not one, but two different biplanes to stop the evil Gabriel from getting away is awesome. These stunt sequences are incredible, and I actually got weak in the knees as I watched the death defying maneuvers, mostly featuring Tom Cruise himself. Fourth, this final installment enjoys revisiting past missions and characters, tying these prior events to where we are now in Hunt’s story. My favorite is the re-introduction of the character William Donloe (Rolf Saxon), the CIA Analyst from the very first film who ran the impenetrable, secure room that Hunt’s team is able to break into in Langley, VA. We learn that his character was banished to a remote post on the Bering Sea as a direct result of what happened 29 years earlier. When he re-emerges here, it’s revealed that his reassignment was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he’s also made an integral part of this final installment. It’s good stuff. 

Finally, I want to finish my thoughts on MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – THE FINAL RECKONING by discussing actor Tom Cruise. It’s my personal opinion that Cruise is the last of a dying breed, the true movie star who gives everything he has for his films. There are no others who do what Tom Cruise does, which is put his life on the line to entertain us. Jackie Chan did the same thing in his heyday, and there aren’t any others left. The stunts that Cruise completed for this film, as well as the prior films, will never be matched again by a major movie star. That may even be a good thing, but my respect for Cruise’s commitment to his craft places him alone in my book as the greatest movie star on the planet. They certainly don’t make them like Tom Cruise anymore. 

At the end of the day, MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – THE FINAL RECKONING is an incredible close to the extremely successful franchise. It’s probably not the best in the series as it may try to cover too much ground in its efforts to close everything out. Time and repeat viewings will determine its ultimate reputation, but I know that I enjoyed every second of it. I even had some moisture well up in my eyes at the end as the film was reaching its conclusion. I honestly doubt we’ll ever see such prolonged excellence again in a movie franchise. 

“If Chins Could Kill” and “Hail to the Chin” Quasi-book reviews by Case Wright


Bruce Campbell is the of Elvis of horror and independent film; in fact, he did play Elvis in “Bubba Ho-Tep”. If you’re into independent filmmaking, genre films, and artistic struggles both of these books “If chins could kill” and “Hail to the chin” are must reads and they are also fantastic audiobooks read by the man himself. Sidenote: I never thought his chin was weird- just manly. I enjoyed these books so much that I read them and then I listened to the audiobooks as well, which allowed me to re-experience the books like a favorite Uncle sharing his adventures with me. His entire life is laid bare in his own words: his successes, struggles, and failures. The second book picks up right after the end of the first one. NB: neither book is ghostwritten- a rarity. Sidenote 2: the audiobook really reveals Bruce’s skill at impersonations- he could do a career just doing that.

Bruce sat down and wrote both of these memoirs and if you’re an “Evil Dead” fan he discusses every single aspect of how the “Evil Dead” films were made. He goes into the same detail with every single show and film he has ever done. It’s not just how the sausage was made, it is the equivalent of discussing the history of the pig breed, how the pigs were raised, the tools they used for slaughtering, when they were made into sausage, the spices used, and the marketing to sell the sausage (Both books are available on Audible). The purpose of this article isn’t to grade these books because it’s just weird to grade a Man’s memories as long as the writing is half-way decent; instead of that very weird thing, I will discuss chronologically the moments that I’ve thought about for years in this uniquely American story.

His early years would be the central casting description of a midwestern “Theater Geek”. I never particularly liked that term, but it’s fairly apt because he lived for the dramatic arts, but NEVER complained or thought any job was beneath him- Refreshing. His entire focus in high school was theater and if he had graduated from college, he would’ve been a drama teacher. Luckily for us, Bruce became a college dropout after 6 months and began working on Evil Dead.

Evil Dead

Evil Dead was created by everyone that any connection to Bruce and his comrades, but there were also guilt feelings. Family members helped, parents helped, law firms helped, and probably even the Easter Bunny contributed to making “Evil Dead”. In the filming, everyone on the film was everywhere all the time and lived like they were quasi-homeless in the abandoned house that any horror fan would recognize. It was amazing to me how they had power to run their equipment. The way he describes it has all the intensity of a man remembering in perfect detail that he knew in his soul that this moment would be life-defining. He was right.

One thing that stood out to me was the guilt that Bruce had for asking his father, who was going through a divorce, for funds for the film. As a dad, I can tell that we want our children to be happy and that doesn’t end because you’re getting divorced, sickness, or even death- we always want our children to succeed. Can parental support get out of hand and make us annoyed? Yes, but this was well within the normal limits for a dad. If Bruce reads this article, I hope that he knows that his dad cherishes every dollar he contributed to his son’s dream. Unless of course, you had a dad like mine- in which case, how is it in the fire/police department, EMT, or Armed Forces these days?

Evil Dead 2 and 3

When he described Evil Dead 2 and 3, it was different because he had become a man. He was married and soon to be divorced. He described the work and the filmmaking the way a master carpenter describes his experience and steps making a $10,000 walnut table from a single piece of wood. Neither Bruce’s nor Sam Raimi’s careers had taken off yet and like many of us facing defeat – they went home. Home was of course with the old crew to make Evil Dead 2. Evil Dead over the years on a budget of $375,000 made $30 million….WHOA, but it was clear that Hollywood didn’t understand what they had- this was decades before Blair Witch and Paranormal Activity. It seems that Army of Darkness solidified Bruce as a name. One moment I remember about his memories of Army of Darkness was how he tried to mentor the extras about the importance of never complaining and hustling on the set. They didn’t listen. In fact, two of the extras defiled the set by having coitus in their costumes between takes…..ew. Maybe they were the first furries…. double ew. Or maybe the extras misunderstood the term “Hustling”?

The 90s

The 90s was Bruce Campbell’s decade. Hollywood finally realized with the success of the X-Files and Pulp Fiction that the audience for off kilter actors and stories was not just large- it had money to spend. Bruce found three things: steady work with Hercules and Xena, his soulmate- his second wife Ida Gearon, and his best friend – Lucy Lawless (Xena). He describes his friendship with Lucy like a brother describes the love and pride he has in a sister who made valedictorian. The Bruce/Lucy friendship spans decades and I hope they become neighbors one day. He describes it with such fondness and admiration; it proves that men and women can have platonic and beautiful friendships that last a lifetime. I’m not crying, you’re crying….leave me alone.

2000s through Burn Notice
Bruce had come into his own and was getting cast in A LOT of genre films. He had become a bona fide working actor. I will note that he gets into thorough detail about every single film that he made during this time period. However, I think that many Gen-Z and Millennials discovered him through Burn Notice and if you’re thinking he spills the tea about any on set drama- HE DOES NOT. He talks about how he enjoys dive bars and the different bartender pours. He describes in detail his experience with the show. I enjoyed the second book a lot, but it got personal for me because he convinced his Co-Star Jeffrey Donavan to visit the troops in Iraq. I give them both a lot of credit for that out of all of the great moments in the second book that’s what I think about the most often.

I am a fan of Bruce Campbell’s obviously, but what stood out to me in this uniquely American story is that you really can be anything here if you work at it.

Happy Birthday, Bruce!