Author Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

October Positivity: Turning Back (dir by Jaime Velez Soto)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 2011’s Turning Back (also known as The Whisper Home), Stephen Patterson (played by Jerry Eisinger) is a youth minister and teacher who is surprised when he’s told that his state representative is moving up to the senate and that he’s been selected to run for her old seat. He’s assured that he shouldn’t have any trouble winning either the primary or the election. Sure, there was a city councilwoman who was approached first, but she has no interest in running for the seat… or, at least, she doesn’t until after Stephen has declared his candidacy.

It’s not just city councilwomen that Stephen has to worry about. There’s also his brother, Dave (Randy Vaughn). While Stephen stayed in his hometown and went out of his way to always be the good and responsible son, Dave decided to pursue a career as an actor. He asked for all of the money that had been saved for his college fund and then he hopped on a bus to Los Angeles. Dave didn’t find much success as an actor, but he did manage to develop a heroin addiction. Dave finally managed to clean himself up and he worked up the courage to return home. Of course, he returns on the exact day that Stephen is starting his political campaign…

As you may have guessed, this movie is based on the parable of the prodigal son, with Stephen getting jealous over the big deal that his father is making over Dave’s return. Stephen finds himself growing more and more irritated with Dave, especially after he sees Dave hanging around in the “bad side of town.” When Stephen shames Dave into leaving his father’s house, Stephen is forced to consider the answer to the question, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

It’s honestly not a bad film. The low budget is obvious and I could have done with a little less of the two criminals who are searching for Dave, but the parable of the prodigal son is definitely good source material and the film does an adequate job retelling the story for modern times. For the most part, the acting is heartfelt and the film’s message sincere.

That said, I have to admit that I found the political element of the film to be the most interesting part of the story. It’s not often that you see movies about people running for the state legislature. In both real life and the movies, the state house tends to get ignored. And yet, some of the most interesting political races are the ones for the state legislature. I remember, back in 2020, all of the Democratic State House candidates in Texas were running ads showing them at protests and calling for police reform. Then, three weeks before the election, all of their commercials suddenly changed and they started bragging about how much they loved the police. The guy running in my district spent months wearing a Defund the Police sweatshirt just to suddenly start mailing out flyers of himself posing with uniformed police officers. Never before had I seen such a blatant case of polling in action. Turning Back captures the feel of running for an office that most people tend to forget about. Stephen is assured that getting elected will be easy, but then, once he starts campaigning, he discovers how few people want to talk about the State House.

Who knows? If I ever get tired of this gig, maybe I’ll run for the State House. Apparently, anyone can get elected!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 5.3 “Blue Hawaii: Part One”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bike cops go to Hawaii!

Episode 5.3 “Blue Hawaii: Part One”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on August 1st, 1999)

TC, Cory, Bobby, and Granger are sent to Hawaii so that they can spend five days training other bicycle cops.  If there’s anything that this show has shown over the past five seasons, it’s that it takes a lot of training to be a bicycle cop.  For instance, you have to know how to look smugly self-satisfied while holding up traffic.  That’s not a natural skill.  That’s something you have to learn.  Whenever Cory responds to a legitimate question by yelling and shoving someone into a wall, you’re seeing years of training.  Whenever Chris runs a bystander over with her bicycle and then says, “Just doing my job,” that’s her way of sayin, “Your taxes paid for this!”

Bobby and Granger spend their first Hawaiian night at a strip club.  A drug dealer (Dax Griffin) mistakes Bobby for a buyer.  This leads to Bobby and Granger getting involved in an undercover operation.  We meet the other members of Hawaii’s special undercover task force.  There’s Sgt. Aikau (Andy Bumatai), a surfer who puts a curse on TC.  There’s Matt Cho (Lorenzo Callender), who acts just like Bobby.  There’s an Australian cop (played by Corey Page) who acts just like Granger.  And then there’s Officer Claire Keene (Kristanna Loken) who acts just like Cory.

As you probably already guessed, this episode was a backdoor pilot for a series that was didn’t end up happening.  (This episode aired the same year that Baywatch became Baywatch Hawaii.)  It’s also a two-parter, which means this episode ends with Bobby and Granger still working undercover, the drug dealers still on the loose, and the Hawaiian cops in need of some lessons on how to work undercover.  Bobby is also falling for Claire and is thinking about transferring permanently to Hawaii.

Like a lot of backdoor pilots, this episode fails because it asked us to get emotionally invested in a bunch of new, poorly-drawn characters.  The fact that all of the Hawaiian cops had the same personality tics as their California counterparts didn’t help matters.  That said, I enjoyed this episode just because it was shot in Hawaii and the scenery was lovely.

Next week, we’ll conclude our trip to paradise with Part Two of Blue Hawaii!

Horror on Television: One Step Beyond 1.1 “The Bride Possessed” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

 One Step Beyond was a supernatural-themed anthology show that claimed every story that it told was based on an actual incident.  This show ran on ABC from 1959 to 1961 and was scheduled to air opposite of Twilight Zone.

The very first episode of One Step Beyond aired on January 20th, 1959.  In this episode, a young bride (Virginia Leith) on her honeymoon suddenly starts to act differently.  (Not only does she become more outspoken but she also loses her Southern accent.)  Is it possible that she’s been possessed by the spirit of a murdered woman and now, she’s going to solve her own murder?

Watch to find out!

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.24 “Belding’s Prize”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, Screech screws up again.

Episode 2.24 “Belding’s Prize”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on December 24th, 1997)

Mr. Belding is super excited about joining the National Society of Principals!  Except — uh-oh! — Screech forgot to mail in the application.  What an idiot.  Actually, what a pair of idiots.  Screech may have screwed up but Belding shouldn’t have been depending on him in the first place.  Mail your own application, Belding!

Screech could tell Belding the truth or he could lie and hire James The Actor (Mark Blankfield) to pretend to be the Grand Master of the Society and they could have a big fake ceremony at the school.  Screech goes with the latter.  It never seems to occur to Screech that, when he gave Belding a fake letter telling him that his application had been accepted, he could have just left it that.  Instead, he decides to do a fake ceremony at the school.  And he decides to hire James the Actor, despite the fact that Belding has met James in three other episodes.

This was the final time that Mark Blankfield plays James the Actor on Saved By The Bell.  This is also his weakest outing as James, largely because the character is totally different here than he was in his previous appearances.  Previously, James was quirky but good-hearted and determined to help the Bayside Gang out, whether the gang was led by Zack or Scott.  This time, James is portrayed as being so self-absorbed and stupid that he literally leaves the fake ceremony after he gets a call telling him that he’s been hired for Broadway Show.  He accidentally  pulls off his fake beard.  He accidentally pulls off the fake label that Tommy put on the trophy that James presented to Belding.  James screws everything up and Mark Blanfield plays the role as if James acquired a cocaine addiction between appearances.

In the end, Belding forgives Screech.  I have no idea why.

Meanwhile, the Gang wants to order the millionth burger at the Max so they’ll win tickets to the MTV Music Video Awards.  Unfortunately, other students are ordering burgers too so the Gang spreads a rumor that Max burgers are actually bad for your stomach.  That’s a great way to support your favorite hangout.  Spread a food poisoning rumor and get the place shut down.  Way to go, Gang, ya mooks!

When Tommy buys 200 burgers but still fails to order the millionth one, the Gang sells the burgers back to their fellow students and then use the money to buy more Max burgers.  Eventually, the grill gets shut down and Mr. Belding ends up winning the contest.

This episode featured Dustin Diamond at his worse.  He was never particularly good but at least he seemed to be trying for the first half of the second season.  But, in this episode, he speaks in his falsetto voice, he’s cartoonishly broad in his movements, and he goes all wide-eyed whenever he pretends to be sad or serious.  This is the Screech who showed up for the rest of Saved By The Bell: The New Class.

This wasn’t a great episode but it did remind me that the MTV Music Video Awards used to be a big deal.  It’s amazing how things change.

 

Horror Film Review: Curse of the Stone Hand (dir by Jerry Warren, Carlos Hugh Christensen, and Carlos Schlieper)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 1965’s Curse of the Stone Hand, a dilapidated mansion sits deserted. Two men explore the grounds of the estate and one of them mentions that this house was once the finest in “Kent” but now the locals feel that it is cursed. There are mysterious stone sculptures of hands throughout the house. Some inhabitants think that the hands are the source of the curse. The first inhabitant of the house was a degenerate gambler named Robert Braun (Carlos Cores), who gambled himself into debt and, as a result, joined the Suicide Club as a way to try to win back his money. The hands, we are told, are somehow to blame for this, though it sounds like it’s more of a case of Robert needing to join Gamblers Anonymous. Once Robert was no longer in the house, the estate was claimed by another rich family. The family’s son was a sadist who had the power of hypnotism, which he used to torment his sister’s fiancé. Again, in my opinion, it’s open to debate as to whether or not the hands are to blame. To me, it seems more likely that the hypnotist is just a spoiled wastrel who wasn’t properly raised by his parents. The message seems to be less “Beware of the hands” and more “Don’t let your child grow up to be a hypnotist.”

If all of this sounds disjointed, that’s because it is. American film distributor Jerry Warren purchased two Chilean films and then edited them together to form what would become Curse of the Stone Hand. He dubbed over the dialogue to create some false connections between the two films and then he shot a few extra scenes with Katherine Victor and John Carradine. Victor and Carradine served to provide exposition, filling in the blanks that had been created by Warren’s mash-up. John Carradine’s character is especially interesting because he’s credited as being “The Old Drunk” but his character doesn’t ever appear to be drunk. Instead, he appears to just be one of the many people who works on the estate and who has opinions about the family that lives there. Carradine only has about two minutes of screen time. (Of course, Jerry Warren gave him top billing.) He’s not onscreen long enough to really give a performance that could be considered either good or bad. That said, it’s impossible not to smile whenever John Carradine shows up in one of these films. It’s always a little amusing how John Carradine effortlessly went back and forth from working with John Ford to working with people like Jerry Warren. Before there was Eric Roberts, there was John Carradine.

Curse of the Stone Hand is pretty much an incoherent film. It’s possible that the original Chilean films were good. Some of the shots do feature a bit of atmosphere. But, ultimately, it’s impossible to tell while watching this film, with its dubbed dialogue and its incomprehensible plot. That said, I’ll always have a spot in my heart for the shamelessness of filmmakers like Jerry Warren. Warren knew that you could get a lot out of a melodramatic title and a cameo from a name performer. Curse of the Stone Hand stands as a tribute to his never give up, never surrender spirit.

Bonus Horror On The Lens: Night Tide (dir by Curtis Harrington)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

First released in 1961 and directed by Curtis Harrington, Night Tide stars a young Dennis Hopper as Johnny, an awkward sailor.  Johnny meets Mora (Linda Lawson), who works as a “mermaid” on the pier.  For Johnny, it’s love at first sight.  However, the more that Johnny pursues her, the more he learns about both her mysterious past and the dark fate of her previous boyfriends.

Night Tide is low-key and atmospheric gem of a movie, one that serve as an inspiration for low-budget filmmakers every where.  Lawson is perfectly cast as the enigmatic Mora but the film really belongs to Dennis Hopper.  Hopper’s naturally off-key presence made him perfect for the role of Johnny.

Night Tide is one of those low-budget movies that, because it’s in the public domain,  has been released on DVD (often in inferior form) by dozens of different companies.  Often times, films like this turn out to be fairly forgettable.  Night Tide, however, is an exception.

Horror On The Lens: Mazes and Monsters (dir by Steven Hilliard Stern)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

 

Based on a best-seller by Rona Jaffe, 1982’s Mazes and Monsters tell the story of some college students who enjoy playing a game called…. well, Mazes and Monsters.  Now, I realize that Mazes and Monsters may sound a lot like Dungeons and Dragons but they are actually two separate games.  One game takes place in a dungeon.  The other takes place in maze, got it?

When the players decide to play the game in some nearby caves, it causes the newest member of the group (Tom Hanks — yes, Tom Hanks) to snap and become his character.  Convinced that he’s living in a world full of monsters and wizard, Hanks runs away to New York.  How does that go?  During a moment of clarity, Hanks calls his friends and wails, “There’s blood on my knife!”

It’s all fairly silly.  There was a moral panic going on about role playing games when this film was made and this film definitely leans into the panic.  But, in its own over-the-top way, it works.  If you’ve ever wanted to see Tom Hanks battle a big green lizard, this is the film for you.  And I defy anyone not to tear up a little during the final scene!

From 1982, here is Mazes and Monsters!   

Horror Song Of The Day: Dawn of the Dead Main Theme by Goblin

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Dawn of the Dead (1978, dir by George Romero, DP: Michael Gornick)

Dario Argento not only produced and edited the European cut for 1978’s Dawn of the Dead, he also introduced George Romero to Goblin.  The Italian band, famous for their horror movie soundtracks, provided the classic score to Dawn of the Dead.

(Admittedly, the score is is used far more prominently in Argento’s cut of the film than in Romero’s.)

For today’s horror song of the day, here is Goblin’s Main Theme From Dawn of the Dead.

Horror Scenes That I Love: Lon Chaney Transforms Into The Wolfman

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s horror scene that I love comes from 1941’s The Wolf Man.  Watch as poor Larry Talbot transforms, for the first time, into The Wolf Man!  I’ll be the first to admit that, in the past, I’ve been pretty critical of Larry as a character and Lon Chaney, Jr.’s performance in the role.  But, in this scene, Chaney does an excellent job of capturing Larry’s helplessness as the curse takes effect for the first time.