The world’s favorite atomic turtle is back!
1970’s Gamera vs. Monster X (a.k.a. Gamera vs Jiger) once against finds humanity doing something stupid and nearly getting destroyed as a result. This time, the trouble stats when a large statue is removed from an island and transported to Japan, where it will be the centerpiece of a gigantic expo. Gamera, who is a giant turtle that can fly and breathe fire, tries to stop the humans from doing this but, of course, they ignore him.
(Seriously, this was the 6th movie featuring Gamera. You would think that, by now, humanity would have learned to listen to the turtle’s concerns.)
Moving the statue awakens a dinosaur named either Jiger or Monster X, depending on which version of the film you’re watching. Jiger is pissed off about the statue being moved so it sets out to destroy humanity. Gamera tries to stop Jiger but Jiger stabs a quill into his chest and …, oh no! Is Gamera dead!?
No, don’t worry. Gamera may be incapacitated by he lives still. It’s just that he’s got something inside of him now and …. well, basically, Jiger inserted an egg inside of Gamera. And now, for some reason, a bunch of little children are going to have to navigate a minisub through Gamera’s blood stream so that they can get rid of the egg and the mini-Jiger waiting with within…..
Yes, I know it doesn’t make any sense but it’s a Gamera movie! What you do expect? I mean, this is a movie about a world where, because Godzilla doesn’t exist, it falls to a gigantic, radioactive turtle to serve as the world’s protector. In order to watch a movie like this, you have to be able to accept the reality of a giant turtle. Once you’ve accepted that, it’s much easier to accept the idea that the future of the world depends on not just a giant turtle but also three kids in a small submarine.
(One thing that we discover, while watching this film, is that Gamera is bigger on the inside than the outside. Seriously, at one point, the kids get out of the sub and walk around inside of Gamera. And I know that Gamera’s big but he never looked like he was that big.)
Anyway, the important thing is that Gamera must be saved so that he can defeat Jiger and the expo can go on as planned. Because I don’t believe in spoilers, I won’t tell you how it ends but I will say that you should never lose faith in a giant turtle.
I was just looking over my notes and I discovered that, since 2017, I’ve actually watched Gamera vs. Monster X on three separate occasions. Despite having seen it more than once, I still have to say that I really don’t have the slightest idea what the Hell’s going on in the majority of the film. I guess it really doesn’t matter, though. You don’t watch a Gamera movie for the plot. You watch it for a giant turtle fighting other big monsters. On that front, Gamera vs Monster X delivers. It’s enjoyably incoherent.
Tonight, if you’re looking something to watch other than the Oscars, Gamera vs. Monster X is available on YouTube.