Welcome to horrorth….Wait a minute, it’s not October….it’s …February? Yes. Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is like a failed marriage, aging football player, or your dad posting a video on YouTube; it should’ve stopped awhile ago. Kiernan Shipka is a great actress, but it’s like she’s been shackled to the Detroit Tigers. It doesn’t help that the director Rob Seidenglanz could make the Titanic sinking feel like watching C-Span.
The entire episode from the Party City inspired costumes to the bad middle school sets to the pedestrian camera angles….it was just awful. Although I do like seeing a Lead Character as a self-centered incompetent, it’s refreshing and accurate for life. Am I going to watch and review this season? Of course I will, but I will be sharing the pain with Lisa who will review episodes 3-6. We may even do another Livetweet … Fingers Crossed!
We left off last season with Nick trapping the devil inside his brain and got carried off to Hell to save humanity. Well, I guess to heck with all that heroism because Sabrina misses her boyfriend and she REALLY doesn’t care about anything or anyone else.
First, going to take Nick out of Hell, puts everyone at risk who is strong-armed into going with her on this unnecessary adventure. Second, if they get Nick back and he dies, Lucifer is unleashed upon our world. Third, I don’t need a third; this is dumb.
Sabrina decides that she wants to go to Hell and get Nick out. Fine. She of course does the reasonable thing and just takes herself into Hell and doesn’t risk her friends lives. No, she risks everyone: Harvey, Theo, and Rosalind. Side Note: Rosalind was blind for a while, but can see now…that’s weird. Sabrina pushes her friends around and then they agree to go to Hell with her. One note, the second Sabrina isn’t around all of her friends they start singing and start a band. They need to read some self-help books about toxic friends.
The group goes into hell and it really looks like a British Columbia beach. They run into Theo’s uncle who’s being tortured in Hell. Of course, Sabrina insists that they stop and help Theo’s uncle. NO, Sabrina’s an Owner of Lonely Heart and she’s gotta get Nick back or there’s gonna be trouble hey na hey na. During the journey, we see that Lilith is ruling Hell in a Party City outfit and 10 dollar crown. For some reason, Lilith is angry at Sabrina and it’s not clear why. There’s also this boring intrigue competition for the throne of hell and can you blame them?! It’s British Columbia beach front!!!!
Sabrina confronts Lilith… because I just don’t know why. Sigh. Sabrina ascends to the Hell Throne – I’m assuming that’s what it’s called. However, Sabrina is just going to run Hell part-time like an Uber side-hustle because she’s got debate team, mathletes, and 4H; so, this is the LAST extra-curricular. Period. Lilith will advise Sabrina in her part-time Hell-gig. This is the best of the worst: Sabrina gets Nick out of hell and them…. puts him in a … dungeon. Yep, after all that, she puts him in a dungeon. Fine. There’s a lot of exposition that there’s some “Old Ones” coming to town and I keep thinking it’s going to be Wilford Brimley. Maybe, Sabrina will come down with Dia-beetus?