Rusty Meyers – Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988. The entire show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Julie returns.

Episode 2.2 “Blast From The Past”

(Dir by Eugene Corr, originally aired on September 29th, 1987)

Torello’s ex-wife, Julie (Darlanne Fluegel), is in Las Vegas with her new husband, Dr. John Newhouse (David Soul). While Julie waits outside, John steps into a bank to withdraw some money. He ends up walking straight into a bank robbery. When one of the four robbers is shot and wounded by a security guard, Newhouse tries to stanch the young criminal’s bleeding. Newhouse explains that he’s a doctor. The leader of the gang, Smilin’ Jack (James Remar), took a bullet to the hand during the robbery, so he abducts Newhouse so that he can take care of both his hand and the other robber.

Newhouse is held prisoner in a trailer park in the middle of the desert. Needing to launder the stolen money, Smilin’ Jack calls his old friend, Frank Holman. Holman, who has moved on from his singing career and now wants to shoot stag films, comes out to the trailer park. He brings his movie camera. Soon, the trailer park is full of aspiring actresses.

Meanwhile, Julie goes to Torello and asks for his help. Torello puts the investigation into Las Vegas organized crime on hold so that he can find Dr. Newhouse. The other members of the Task Force have no problem with this because they all worship the ground that Torello walks on. And, of course, Torello ends up sleeping with Julie before eventually tracking down Smilin’ Jack and rescuing Dr. Newhouse.

This episode was pretty boring. Holman trying to become a filmmaker provided some amusing moments, but otherwise this was a fairly standard crime melodrama. James Remar brought a certain demented energy to the character of Smilin’ Jack, but the character was still obviously just a one-off villain from the minute he first appeared.

This was the second episode to not feature Luca and Pauli, both of whom are presumed dead despite the fact that Tony Denison and John Santucci are still listed in the opening credits. Crime Story’s narrative momentum really slows down when it’s just Torello’s story. He needs a worthy adversary and, without Luca around, he doesn’t have one.

Hopefully, next week’s episode will be a bit more interesting.

The 2022 film, Bleach, tells the story of Jonah Paxton (Mark Justice).

Born in Nevada, Jonah never knew his mother. He was raised in a trailer by his abusive father (Lorenzo Lamas), a degenerate gambler who molested Jonah and forced him to wear dresses in an attempt to shame him into “being a man.” When the mob threatened to come after Jonah because of his debts, he sold Jonah to his uncle, a drug dealer named Matthew (Eric Roberts).

In the mid-80s, grown-up Jonah has some issues. That’s not surprising. He’s haunted by his past and has hallucinations in which the devil is raping him from behind. (Yikes!) He also has visions of selling his soul to a mysterious woman (Mindy Robinson) who throws money at him. In what might be the real world, Jonah is hired by El Jefe (Robert LaSardo), who explains that he loves horror films but that the whole trope of the final girl upsets him. He gives Jonah a million dollars to film an actual snuff film. He tells Jonah that he wants high production values. He wants to watch Jonah become a monster. Jonah takes the money and films himself murdering two women who picked up at a bar and one woman who unfortunately entered the room at the wrong time.

While El Jefe waits for Jonah to bring him the tape, Jonah finds himself having even more violent hallucinations. He sees demons. He sees the devil. After he crashes his car in the desert, he has a vision of a woman (Tara Reid) who claims to be his mother and who encourages Jonah to commit suicide. While the police investigate Jonah’s crimes, Jonah is haunted by the ghosts of his victims and his already tenuous grip on reality continues to loosen. Soon, Jonah is drinking bleach and trying to purify himself with fire….

Bleach is a mess of a film, one that is occasionally surreal but which is more often just boring. The film’s tone is all over the place and certain scenes are so drawn out that they go from being disturbing to being dull. The moments of dark comedy fail to land but the glimpses inside Jonah’s mind are appropriately twisted and bizarre. By the end of the movie, Jonah’s scarred and blistered body is an undeniably shocking sight. Physically, he’s come to reflect the monster that he truly is. But, in the end, the film is too unevenly paced to be really effective and it ends with a shoot-out that is so clumsily choreographed that it’ll probably lead to more laughs than pathos.

Eric Roberts is memorably sleazy as the faux friendly Matthew. One gets the feeling that both and Lorenzo Lamas were only on set for a day or two but both of them make the most of their screen time. Both of them offer a glimpse into how to make a monster.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed: