The Eric Roberts Collection: Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft (dir by David DeCoteau)


In 2013’s Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft, Ella (Fivel Stewart) and Jonah (Booboo Stewart) are twins who are sent to an exclusive private school.  The private school is so exclusive that many of the students are the descendants of former students.  If you don’t have the right lineage, you’re not attending this school.

Ella and Jonah soon discover that this isn’t your everyday private school.  Instead, the student body is made up of witches and wizards and so are the majority of the teachers.  Ella and Jonah also discover that they are being targeted.  Can they defeat the other witches and wizards and will their school ever beat Hogwarts at Quidditch?

Now, technically, Hogwarts is never mentioned in this film and no one ever plays Quidditch but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out which insanely popular series of books and films inspired Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft.  There are a few references to witches in the woods and children being eaten but this film definitely has more in common with the works of J.K. Rowling than the work of the Brothers Grimm.  It’s a fairly silly film but it’s enjoyable enough, if you’re a fan of director David DeCoteau’s unique aesthetic.  That means plenty of cheap special effects, a few names in the cast, one scene of gratuitous shirtlessness for Booboo Stewart, and an open-ended conclusion, just in case someone was willing to pay for a sequel.

Eric Roberts plays Mr. Sebastian.  He’s the kind-hearted headmaster at the school.  He doesn’t appear in many scenes but, as always, it’s nice to see Eric Roberts playing a nice guy for once.  At one point, Mr. Sebastian explains what is going on at the school and it doesn’t make the least bit of sense but I guess that’s magic for you.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Paul’s Case (1980)
  2. Star 80 (1983)
  3. Runaway Train (1985)
  4. To Heal A Nation (1988)
  5. Best of the Best (1989)
  6. Blood Red (1989)
  7. The Ambulance (1990)
  8. The Lost Capone (1990)
  9. Best of the Best II (1993)
  10. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  11. Voyage (1993)
  12. Freefall (1994)
  13. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  14. Sensation (1994)
  15. Dark Angel (1996)
  16. Doctor Who (1996)
  17. Most Wanted (1997)
  18. The Alternate (2000)
  19. Mercy Streets (2000)
  20. Tripfall (2000)
  21. Raptor (2001)
  22. Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 (2001)
  23. Strange Frequency (2001)
  24. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  25. Border Blues (2004)
  26. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  27. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  28. We Belong Together (2005)
  29. Hey You (2006)
  30. Cyclops (2008)
  31. Depth Charge (2008)
  32. Amazing Racer (2009)
  33. The Chaos Experiment (2009)
  34. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  35. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  36. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  37. The Expendables (2010) 
  38. Groupie (2010)
  39. Sharktopus (2010)
  40. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  41. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  42. Deadline (2012)
  43. The Mark (2012)
  44. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  45. The Night Never Sleeps (2012)
  46. Snow White: A Deadly Summer (2012)
  47. Assault on Wall Street (2013)
  48. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  49. Lovelace (2013)
  50. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  51. The Perfect Summer (2013)
  52. Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End (2013)
  53. Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire (2013)
  54. Self-Storage (2013)
  55. Sink Hole (2013)
  56. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  57. This Is Our Time (2013)
  58. Bigfoot vs DB Cooper (2014)
  59. Doc Holliday’s Revenge (2014)
  60. Eternity: The Movie (2014)
  61. Inherent Vice (2014)
  62. Road to the Open (2014)
  63. Rumors of War (2014)
  64. So This Is Christmas (2014)
  65. Amityville Death House (2015)
  66. Deadly Sanctuary (2015)
  67. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  68. Las Vegas Story (2015)
  69. Sorority Slaughterhouse (2015)
  70. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  71. Story of Eva (2015)
  72. Enemy Within (2016)
  73. Hunting Season (2016)
  74. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  75. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  76. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  77. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  78. Dark Image (2017)
  79. The Demonic Dead (2017)
  80. Black Wake (2018)
  81. Frank and Ava (2018)
  82. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  83. The Wrong Teacher (2018)
  84. Clinton Island (2019)
  85. Monster Island (2019)
  86. The Reliant (2019)
  87. The Savant (2019)
  88. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  89. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  90. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  91. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  92. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  93. Hard Luck Love Song (2020)
  94. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  95. Law of Attraction (2020)
  96. Top Gunner (2020)
  97. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  98. The Elevator (2021)
  99. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  100. Killer Advice (2021)
  101. Megaboa (2021)
  102. Night Night (2021)
  103. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  104. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  105. Red Prophecies (2021)
  106. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  107. The Wrong Mr. Right (2021)
  108. Bleach (2022)
  109. Dawn (2022)
  110. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  111. 69 Parts (2022)
  112. The Rideshare Killer (2022)
  113. The Wrong High School Sweetheart (2022)
  114. The Company We Keep (2023)
  115. D.C. Down (2023)
  116. If I Can’t Have You (2023)
  117. Megalodon: The Frenzy (2023)
  118. Aftermath (2024)
  119. Bad Substitute (2024)
  120. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  121. Insane Like Me? (2024)
  122. Space Sharks (2024)
  123. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  124. Broken Church (2025)
  125. Shakey Grounds (2025)
  126. When It Rains In L.A. (2025)

Music Video of the Day: Madness by Muse (2012, directed by Anthony Mandler)


I, I can’t get these memories out of my mind
And some kind of madness has started to evolve
I, I tried so hard to let you go
But some kind of madness is swallowing me whole, yeah

I don’t smoke because 1) I have asthma, 2) I have a predisposition to addiction, and 3) I’m so obsessive compulsive that if I did start smoking, I would become the biggest chain smoker in the world and I’d end up being one of those women you see in anti-smoking commercials, popping out her fake teeth and pointing at the hole in her throat.  That’s not for me.

That said, if I ever do start smoking, it’ll probably because of this song and this video.  Seriously, just the opening bass line makes me want to light up.  And then the video itself proves that smoking is pretty photogenic when the cigarettes are being held by beautiful people.

The song, itself, was written by Matt Bellamy after he had a fight with his then-girlfriend, Kate Hudson.  According to Bellamy, he was reflecting on the fight and thought to himself, “Yeah, she was right, wasn’t she?”

As for the video, it features two lovers on a train, dealing with their own issues while a riot rages around them.  The two lovers are played by Erin Wasson and Max Silberman, both of whom are achingly pretty.  (For some reason, the usually reliable imvdb insists that the man on the train was played by Emile Hirsch.  Sorry, that’s definitely Max Silberman.)

Of course, the idea of two lovers in the middle of a protest immediately makes me think of this famous picture, which was taken in Vancouver during a riot:

And, of course, there’s this Ray-Ban advertisement:

(If the majority of protesters looked as good as the people in the video and these two pictures, I might even be inspired to go to a march or two.)

(Also, be happy that I resisted the temptation to include a picture from that Kendall Jenner Pepsi commercial.  I came really close to doing it but, in the end, I couldn’t do it.  I was born a Coke drinker and I’ll die a Coke drinker.  Pepsi tastes too much like Vermont for me.)

This video was directed by Anthony Mandler, who has directed several videos for everyone from Jay-Z to Taylor Swift to Justin Bieber.  (The imvdb credits him with 74 videos.)  The gorgeous cinematography is credited to David Devlin.

Mario Contini, who is credited as being 1st Assistant Cameraman on Madness, was later the director of photography for Saint Motel’s My Type.

Enjoy!