The “Beach Party ” gang’s back and so’s the familiar formula in MUSCLE BEACH PARTY, second in the American-International series. It’s Easter vacation and Frankie Avalon is still horny, Annette Funicello’s still waiting for marriage, and a beautiful foreign woman is again coming between them. This time it’s Lucianna Paluzzi as Countess Julie, a rich heiress who wants to make Frankie a singing star and her personal property.
Eric Von Zipper and his Rats aren’t around this time, replaced by a bunch of bodybuilders led by trainer Jack Fanny (the inimitable Don Rickles). Julie first sets her sights on “Mr. Galaxy” Flex Martian, but dumps him when she spies Frankie. This leads to war between the surfers and the musclemen, with the inevitable slapstick melee. Flex is played by Rock Stevens, a real-life bodybuilder who muscled his way through a few Italian peplum films before reverting to his real name of Peter Lupus and…
Nobody wants to admit it but there was a time when all of us self-styled award divas were convinced that Gus Van Sant’s latest film, The Sea of Trees, would be a huge Oscar contender.
Can you blame us?
Sure, you can! But, before you do, look at it from our point of view. Gus Van Sant is an acclaimed director who has split his time between Oscar-baity mainstream movies (Good Will Hunting, Milk) and deliberately obscure art films (Elephant). Two of Van Sant’s films have been nominated for best picture and he has twice been nominated for best director. The Sea of Trees stars two Oscar nominees (Naomi Watts and Ken Watanabe) and an Oscar winner (Matthew McConaughey). Much like the 2003 best picture nominee Lost in Translation, The Sea of Trees dealt with an American in Japan.
Yep, The Sea of Trees definitely looked like a contender but then it premiered at the Cannes Film Festival and everything went downhill. The audience laughed. The critics booed. The negative reaction to the film quickly became legendary. Suddenly, it looked like this former Oscar contender would be lucky to even get an American release. Both Lionsgate and Roadside Attractions acquired the U.S. distribution rights and both companies dropped the film.
As a result, I found myself growing fascinated with The Sea of Trees. How bad could it be, I wondered. The fact that I might never get a chance to actually see the movie only added to my interest.
Well, fortunately, A24 eventually acquired the distribution rights to The Sea of Trees and they have now given the film a limited release in the States. I saw it last night and…
Meh.
Seriously, after all the publicity and drama, I was expecting that The Sea of Trees would be a total and complete fiasco, one of those train wreck movies that you just can’t look away from. But, to be honest, The Sea of Trees is not an artistic fiasco in the style of Batman v Superman, nor is it unintentionally amusing like April Rain. Instead, it’s just a really boring film.
When I heard the plot of the film, I thought it would be an unofficial companion piece to Van Sant’s acclaimed Death Trilogy. In many ways, the plot sounded a lot like the plot of Gerry. Arthur Brennan (Matthew McConaughey) is a widowed professor who goes to Japan and visits Aokigahara Forest, the famous suicide forest at the foot of Mt. Fiji. Brennan is planning to end his life but he’s distracted by a Japanese man, Takumi Nakamura (Ken Watanabe), who claims to be lost in the forest. However, Nakamura has deep cuts on his wrists.
Brennan tries to help Nakamura find his way out of the forest but soon, the two of them discover themselves to be lost. Brennan spends a lot of time talking about life philosophy and I have to admit that I had a hard time following what he was saying because I was bored out of my mind. (It doesn’t help that McConaughey delivers his dialogue in the same style that he used for his infamous car commercials.) Nakamura doesn’t say much at all.
We also get several flashbacks to Brennan’s former life with his wife (played by Naomi Watts). The scenes all have a definite Nicholas Sparks feel to them. And yet, the flashbacks were the best part of the film because of the chemistry between McConaughey and Watts. The flashbacks are openly and unapologetically sentimental, without any of the pretension that mars the scenes between Brennan and Nakamura.
On a positive note, the film’s cinematography is often striking and the opening, with Brennan walking past random corpses while looking for the perfect place to end his life, is nicely done. Otherwise, almost the entire film is a misfire. Matthew McConaughey is one of those actors who is naturally so full of life that it’s hard to buy him as a suicidal academic and the film, which is already overlong at nearly two hours, drags. This is one of those films that has about a dozen false endings before the final credits finally roll. Meanwhile, as the action slowly plays out, the original score pounds you over the head. Important Important Important, the score demands even as the film fails to deliver.
And so, that’s The Sea of Trees.
It’s not exactly a fiasco but it is unforgivably forgettable.
I was really impressed by Jacob Tremblay’s performance in Room and I thought he totally deserved, at the very least, an Oscar nomination. I also found myself wondering if he would ever appear in another film or if he would be one of those child actors who gives one great performance and then pretty much vanishes.
(I have to admit that I was actually kind of worried for him, while watching him have the time of his life at the Oscars earlier this year. Nobody wants to see this talented kid turn into another Jake Lloyd or Haley Joel Osment.)
Well, Jacob Tremblay does have a new film coming out. Shut In appears to be a psychological horror film and, again, it appears that Tremblay is being held prisoner. This time, his captor is played by Naomi Watts.
Let’s say one positive thing about the 1984 “comedy” Joy of Sex.
The tag line on the poster: “Somewhere between virginity and senility, lies paradise,” is brilliant. Whoever came up with it deserves a lot of credit because it sounds a lot better than anything that’s actually heard in the movie.
Let’s say something else good at Joy of Sex. The two stars of the movie — Cameron Dye and Michelle Meyrink — both gave good and likable performances, even if their characters got a little bit annoying at times. (Then again, just about everyone in Joy of Sex gets annoying.) Also, there’s a subplot about an undercover cop (played by Colleen Camp) that predates 21 Jump Street and which occasionally shows off a few hints of genuine wit.
Otherwise, this is probably one of the worst of the 80s teen comedies that I’ll be reviewing for this series of Back to School reviews. Joy of Sex is officially credited as being an adaptation of a sex manual that was popular back in the 70s. According to the imdb and Wikipedia, Joy of Sex went through a rather tortured development. At one point, it was going to be an anthology film, starring John Belushi and co-produced by National Lampoon. However, Belushi died of a drug overdose, National Lampoon abandoned the project, and the final film turned out to be another high school film. Imagine Fast Time At Ridgemont High … but really, really bad.
Leslie Hindenberg (Michelle Meyrink) is a student at Richard Nixon High School. She’s the daughter of the school’s phys ed coach (Christopher Lloyd, playing what was probably meant to be the Belushi role) and, as a result, she is viewed as being untouchable, even by the sex-crazed boys of Nixon High. The problem is that Leslie has recently discovered a mole on chest and is convinced that she has skin cancer. Believing that she only has 6 weeks to live, Leslie sets out on a mission to lose his virginity. However, she wants to lose it to the perfect guy and there aren’t many of those at her school. (Can you really afford to be picky when you’ve only got 6 weeks to live?) Add to that, everyone’s terrified of the coach…
Leslie’s lab partner is Alan (Cameron Dye), who is a nice guy. He not only has a huge crush on Leslie but he’s also desperate to lose his virginity as well! Problem solved, right? Well, no. See, Alan has been led astray by the new girl in school. Liz (Colleen Camp) is tough, outspoken, and no-nonsense. As soon as she shows up in school, she lets everyone know that she’s obsessed with two things — sex and drugs. In fact, she’s especially interested in drugs…
A lot of students, of course, are suspicious of Liz. She seems to be older than everyone else and speak in out-of-date slang. “Could she be a narc?” some students wonder. Well, actually, she is. She is working undercover at Nixon High and is convinced that Alan knows who is supplying drugs to all of the students. And, it must be said, that Colleen Camp really throws herself into the role. As happens with most of the film’s subplots, the undercover narc storyline doesn’t really go anywhere but at least Camp made the effort.
Meanwhile, Leslie’s best friend has been kicked out of school because she’s pregnant. Leslie approaches a local reporter, hoping to convince him to do a story about what’s happened. And, while getting her best friend back into school, Leslie starts to wonder if maybe she’s found the right man to take her virginity…
(But wait! We know she’s meant to be with Alan! So, surely, the reporter will turn out to be a sleaze, right?)
But that’s not all! Someone is running around the school and using superglue to play pranks. Who could it be? Will the crazy principle (Ernie Hudson) be able to maintain order until the big dance? And will the portrayal of the school’s frequently confused foreign exchange student manage to get any more racist?
And what about Tom Pittman (Robert Prescott)? Pittman is the most popular guy in school. Pittman doesn’t really do a lot. To make an undeserved comparison to Animal House, he’s kind of the Bluto character, just not as interesting. Whereas Bluto smashed guitars and beer cans and gave inspiration speeches, Pittman tries to light his farts on fire and is something of a bully. (There is a kinda funny scene where he’s suddenly nice to Leslie and everyone’s shocked.) The most memorable thing about Pittman is that he wears thick black glasses which are held together by tape. So, if nothing else, Joy of Sex is important chapter in the history of myopia in film.
Anyway, Joy of Sex has remarkably little joy and next to no sex. I imagine that were riots in the theaters after this movie came out, as thousands of angry teenagers chanted, “We want joy! We want sex! When do we want them!? NOW!”
There were a lot of great teen films released in the 80s. Joy of Sex is not one of them.
The world just got a little sadder. News has been released that funnyman Gene Wilder has passed away at age 83 from complications due to Alzheimer’s Disease. Wilder was without question one of the greatest comic actors of the late 20th Century, beloved by both filmgoers and peers for the manic energy he brought to his everyman characters.
Born in Milwaukee, Gene Wilder (nee’ Jerome Silberman) made his film debut in the small part of Eugene, hostage of the outlaw duo BONNIE & CLYDE. He then scored the plum role of neurotic accountant Leo Bloom, caught by in Zero Mostel’s scheme to produce a Broadway bomb in Mel Brooks’ THE PRODUCERS. This was the first of three Wilder/Brooks collaborations, each one funnier than the last. BLAZING SADDLES casts Wilder as The Waco Kid, an alcoholic ex-gunfighter who helps Sheriff Bart (Cleavon Little) bring peace to Rock Ridge. Best of all was YOUNG…
So, the whole reason that I watched Grease last week was so I would be prepared to watch the 1982 sequel Grease 2 over the weekend. As I’ve mentioned many times on this site, I absolutely hate Grease and I know what you’re probably asking yourself:
“But Lisa, if you hate Grease so much, why did you want to see Grease 2?”
Well, there’s a very good answer to that question but I’m not going to reveal it. I’m going to encourage you to learn to love the mystery. For whatever reason, I wanted to watch Grease 2. Perhaps it was because I’ve heard that Grease 2 is the worst sequel ever made. I really didn’t see how that was possible. How, I wondered, could a film be any worse than the original Grease?
And, so, I watched Grease 2 on Netflix and yes, it was really, really bad. But you know what? It was so bad that it became almost compulsively watchable. Unlike the first Grease, which is full of slow spots, Grease 2 is oddly exciting in its mediocrity. I watched much of it in open-mouthed horror, wondering if things could possibly get any worse. And, with each scene, it did get worse. It was so overwhelmingly and shamelessly bad and so thoroughly misguided that, strangely enough, I really want to rewatch it.
Grease 2 takes place in 1961. There’s a whole new gang of students at Rydell High! Well, actually, Frenchy (Didi Conn) has returned. You may remember that, in the previous film, Frenchy dropped out of high school and went to beauty school. (She was also visited by Satan, who came to her disguised as the Teen Angel.) But now Frenchy is back, trying to pass a chemistry class so she can … well, I’m not really sure what the whole deal with Frenchy was. I imagine that Didi Conn was probably free for a weekend.
The T-bird and the Pink Ladies are still around but they have a whole new membership. The head of the Pink Ladies is Stephanie Zinone (played, in her film debut, by Michelle Pfeiffer). Her boyfriend, Johnny Nogorelli (Adrian Zmed), is the chain-smoking leader of the T-birds. Actually, Johnny is now her ex-boyfriend. He cheated on her over the summer.
And there’s a new boy at Rydell! He’s originally from England and he’s Sandy’s cousin! His name is Michael Carrington (superhandsome Maxwell Caulfield, who is perhaps fated to always be best known for playing Rex Manning in Empire Records) and, when we first meet him, he’s getting off a school bus and he’s wearing a suit! Michael really likes Stephanie but you have to be a T-bird if you’re going to date a Pink Lady and…
AGCK!
Sorry, that was a primal scream. Trying to describe the plot of Grease 2 inspires a lot of primal screams.
Anyway, this is a film is also a musical but apparently, none of the original Grease composers were involved with the sequels. All the songs kinda sound like something you would hear in a parody of Grease, as opposed to a sequel. Also adding to bizarre feel of this sequel is that everyone delivers their lines as if they’re appearing in a stage production, projecting to the back of the theater and overenunciating every single syllable. This may have made sense for Grease, which was adapted from an actual stage show and, despite efforts to open up the action, was still deliberately stagey. Grease 2, meanwhile, is an adaptation of a stage show that never actually existed.
The film starts with a 7 minute production number called Back To School Again. As the Pink Ladies and the T-birds and all the other students show up outside of Rydell, they sing, “Woe is me! The Board of Education took away my parole.” And the scene just keeps going and going, until you start to wonder if Rydell High is a cult compound.
This is followed by a song about bowling (!) that’s called “Score Tonight.”
And it just keeps getting worse from there. The film becomes sickly fascinating as you find yourself trying to predict how much more worse it can possibly get. You may be tempted to give up but you’ll definitely want to stick around for the scene in which Michael discovers that Stephanie wants a “cool rider.” How does he know that? She sings a song about it!
Naturally, Michael gets a motorcycle, a helmet, and pair of goggles and he starts to romance Stephanie. Stephanie doesn’t know who that Michael is the mysterious motorcyclist, despite the fact that Michael is just wearing a helmet and a pair of goggles. Though you have to admire Pfieffer’s commitment to her role (and she gives a fairly good performance, considering the material she was working with), you can’t help but feel that Stephanie might not be the smart. Especially after she sings, “Who’s that guy?”
Uhmmm … it’s Michael. It’s not like he’s dressed up like a bat or wearing the Iron Man armor. He’s just got a helmet and goggles on. Add to that, while Maxwell Caulfield doesn’t give a bad performance (he seems to be doing the best he can with what he’s been given to work with), he also doesn’t attempt to act any differently when he’s the mysterious motorcyclist than when he’s Michael.
There are other things going on as well. The film is full of vignettes about life in 1961, all featuring the students and teachers at Rydell High. For instance, former teen idol Tab Hunter shows up as a substitute teacher and sings a song about reproduction.
And again, it’s so bad that you can’t look away and you watch knowing that you’ll never get the images and the songs out of your head. So compulsively watchable is this bad movie that I may have to watch it again after I finish this review. (Then again, I’ll probably just rewatch the fifth season of Degrassi…)
(That said, I would actually argue that Grease 2 is a better directed film than the first Grease. Grease 2 was directed by Grease‘s choreographer and, as opposed to the first film, the dance numbers are actually framed with modicum of care.)
(By the way, I’ve always wanted to use the phrase “modicum of care” in a review.)
Anyway, Grease 2 apparently bombed at the box office and, as a result, there have been no further Grease films. It’s a shame because you so know that Grease 3 would have taken place in 1967 and featured hippies.
For the past decade or so, Marvel Studios has had a major presence in Hall H of San Diego Comic-Con. They’ve made it a point to hype up their upcoming films. From their very first one with Iron Man all the way back in 2007 to this year’s upcoming Doctor Strange and next year’s Spider-Man: Homecoming and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. One film coming out next year that only got a sizzle reel of concept art was Thor: Ragnarok. By the time of San Diego Comic-Con the film had only been filming for a couple weeks so any usable footage wasn’t ready to be shown.
Taika Waititi, the film’s director, decided that a sizzle reel of concept art for the film wouldn’t do and ended up filming a short 3-minute mockumentary detailing the whereabouts of one Thor Odinson during this past summer’s Civil War event. People who attended the Hall H presentation were raving about this short film and now the rest of the world gets a chance to see it as Marvel Studios have released the footage for all to experience.
Have you ever woken up one morning with a song stuck in your head, just bouncing around, like you can never get it out?
Yeah?….Well, this is not the song you want to wake up to tomorrow!
In Tara Price’s new short film Earworm, that is what it is all about. What can you take? The relentless, unending things on (in) your mind can take everything out of you.
Preview:
For a short film (Thomas) gives everything, literally, everything. And Tara knows how to write, direct and tell the story she wants!
After watching the trailer, I went to bed with my earholes tightly closed!
If you would like to see a trailer for Earworm movie you can here!
Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer novels have long been one of my favorite Guilty Pleasures. Spillane’s books were the literary equivalent of knocking back shots of Jack Daniels with no chaser. The misanthropic Mike Hammer’s Sex & Violence filled adventures are rapid paced, testosterone fueled trips through a definitely un-PC world where men are men, women are sex objects, and blood and bullets flow freely through a dark, corrupt post-war world. Spillane turned the conventional detective yarn on its ear and, though critics hated his simplistic writing, the public ate up his books by the millions.
The film version of Spillane’s KISS ME DEADLY turns film noir on its ear from its opening shot of Christine Bailey (a young Cloris Leachman) running down a lonely highway, almost getting run over by Mike Hammer. The PI picks her up and the opening credits roll backwards to the strains of Nat King Cole crooning “Rather Have The Blues”. This beginning set-up lets…
