Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
This week, we learn about pocket bikes.
Episode 6.16 “Fox Trap”
(Dir by Charles Bail, originally aired on February 20th, 1983)
Bernard DeJardine (George Chakiris) and his wife Camille (Judith Baldwin) are jewel thieves planning to use “pocket bikes” for their next heist. Pocket bikes are tiny miniature motorcycles, the kind you’d usually expect to see a chimpanzee riding at a circus. They’re fast and ultra-maneuverable, and the rider has to kind of squat down to use them. They let you look like a total dork while fleeing from the police.
Can Ponch, Bobby, and Bruce stop the DeJardines? No, they can’t. The DeJardines pull off their heist. However, because they previously got a parking ticket, Bobby and Ponch are able to track them down to their home. Ponch and Bobby arrest them and act really impressed with themselves, despite the fact that we previously saw them unable to stop two adults on minibikes. Ponch, Bobby—you got nothing to brag about, ya mooks!
Meanwhile, the Cadillac Foxes are a girl band who think their sleazy manager, Jerry King (Terry Kiser), is going to take them on a tour of Hong Kong. Instead, he’s planning on selling them to some sex traffickers. Luckily, Bruce pulls up Jerry’s criminal record and sees that he has a record for .… well, selling people to sex traffickers. Apparently, Jerry can only think of one way to make money and he’s going to stick with it, no matter how often he gets arrested. Fortunately, Ponch and Bruce track down Jerry and the Cadillac Foxes while they’re on the way to the airport.
Of course, when the Cadillac Foxes perform at a club, they bring up Ponch so he can sing a song with them. Woo hoo! There’s nothing I love more than going to hear a band perform and instead having to listen to a cop sing.
Finally, Grossman goes on a game show. Unfortunately, he loses the big prize when he’s asked a question about the Miranda ruling. Seeing that Grossman is a cop, I’m not sure he should have been asked that question to begin with because he would have an unfair advantage. But apparently, Grossman isn’t a very good cop because he can’t even remember the right to remain silent. Anyway, as usual, Grossman is humiliated and everyone at the station has a good laugh at his expense.
This show is just getting sillier and sillier.
