The poster above pretty much epitomizes everything that I love about old B-movies. Between the aliens and the poster’s promise that we’re being given the chance to “SEE (the) night the world nearly ended…!,” it’s hard to resist the temptation to give Invasion of the Saucer Men a chance.
First released in 1957, Invasion of the Saucer Men is, in many ways, a standard alien invasion film. Aliens land in a small town and cause a lot of inconvenience for a bunch of all-American teenagers who are just looking for a place to make out. What sets Invasion of the Saucer Men apart is that it’s meant to intentionally humorous and the aliens totally kick ass.
So, here is today’s edition of Horror On The Lens: Invasion of the Saucer Men!
Will Spanner (played, for a second time, by David Byrnes) returns in Witchcraft IX!
Will is still the son of a warlock, he’s still dead, and his girlfriend is still named Kelli (she’s played, this time, by Leah Kourtne Ballantine) but otherwise, the continuity of the entire franchise gets seriously twisted in Witchcraft IX. Witchcraft VII ended up with Will dead and everyone knowing that Will was dead. This was followed by Witchcraft VIII, which was a stand-alone film about a different warlock. Witchcraft IX then begins with no one knowing that Will is dead and an imposter Will living with Kelli and regularly choking her during sex. Will’s ghost roams the city, trying to get anyone to listen to him. Though Will was clean-shaven when he died, ghost Will has a beard.
While Will is trying to find someone who can hear him, Detective Lutz (Stephanie Beaton) and Garner (Mikul Robins) are investigating yet another series of ritualistic homicides. This time, the homicides are connected to an Egyptian cult as opposed to a Satanic one. Usually, Lutz and Garner would turn to Will for help but, because imposter Will is a jerk, they don’t want anything more to do with him. Of course, in Witchcraft VII, Lutz and Garner saw Will die but apparently, they’ve forgotten about that and think that he’s still alive. See how confusing this is?
Will finally does find someone who can hear his voice. She’s a prostitute named Sheila (Landon Hall) and soon, Will is using her to deliver messages to Lutz, Garner, and Kelli. He even enters her body at one point. Witchcraft IX is basically a softcore version of Ghost, with an Egyptian cult thrown in for good measure.
Whatever other flaws they may have had, the previous Witchcraft films all did try to maintain a recognizable continuity. That’s what made them stand out when compared to other direct-to-video franchises. Even though the actors changed, Will always remained the same character with the same problems. In Witchcraft IX, all of that continuity gets tossed out the window. The one emotionally effective moment of the entire franchise, Will dying and being mourned by everyone who cared for him, is retconned into nothing.
Witchcraft IX suffers from its low budget and its impossible to follow plot but Landon Hall and Stephanie Beaton are surprisingly good as Sheila and Lutz and David Byrnes is a passable hero. Though Will does come back to life at the end of this one, he would still be absent in the next film. In Witchcraft X, Detective Lutz would finally get a story all of her own.
The original The House on Haunted Hill is a classic and one that we make it a point to share every Halloween. And since October is halfway over, now seems like the perfect time to do so!
Basically, it tells the story of Christie Ryder (Lucinda Dickey), who appears to have everything that someone could want out of life. Not only does she have a really nice place to live but she also repairs phone lines for a living! (That might not sound glamorous but she lives in California, which means that there’s always a nice view when she’s working.) She also teaches an aerobics class because this film is from 1984 and, in 1984, everyone taught their own aerobics class. At least, that’s the impression that I’ve gotten from watching movies of the era.
Christie only has one problem. She’s been possessed. She hasn’t been possessed by any ordinary old demon, either. Instead, she’s been possessed by a dead ninja. Hanjuro (David Chung) came to America because there were some people on a golf course who needed to be killed. Unfortunately, no sooner had he killed everyone on the back 9 then he found himself surrounded by cops. It took a lot of bullets to take down Hanjuro but down he went. However, his spirit went up and entered Christie’s body.
Now, Christie spends her time teaching aerobics, working on phone lines, and murdering everyone who Hanjuro feels has wrong him. Hanjuro wants to kill all of the cops who shot him. Unfortunately, one of those cops, Billy Secord (Jordan Bennett), is now dating Christie. Once Billy finally figures out why Christie is acting so strangely, he takes her to an exorcist (James Hong) who explains that it’s going to take more than just an ordinary exorcism to defeat the ninja lurking within Christie. It’s going to require the help of another ninja, the noble Goro Yamada (Sho Kosugi). It’s time to go to Japan!
I may not be a huge ninja movie fan (unless, of course, they feature Franco Nero) but I have to say that I absolutely loved Ninja III. That really shouldn’t come as a surprise. This film is such an utterly weird mishmash of tones and genres that there’s no way that I couldn’t love it. It starts out as a typical kung fu film, just to suddenly turn into The Exorcist before then becoming Flashdance before returning to being The Exorcist. Finally, for the last few minutes of the film, it transforms back into a kung fu film. As I watched the film, I found myself thinking about all of the other films throughout history that could have been livened up by a demonic or spiritual possession subplot. For that matter, think about how much more crazy The Exorcist would have been if Father Karras and Father Merrin had been Ninja Karras and NInja Merrin.
Anyway, in all seriousness, Ninja III is exactly what an exploitation film should be. It’s unapologetically strange and over-the-top and it makes absolutely no apologies for being what it is. It’s a film that says, “I’m here to tell a story about a woman possessed by a dead ninja and if that’s not good enough for you, you need to figure out what’s wrong with your heart.” Ninja III is brilliant, wonderful, and definitely a film that you must watch this October. It’s on Prime so go watch it. Do it now.
Having killed off long-suffering hero Will Spanner in the previous installment, the Witchcraft franchise attempted to chart a new course with Witchcraft VIII: Salem’s Ghost.
In this movie, we meet an entirely new group of people who manage to raise the spirit of another dead and pissed off warlock. Trying to repair their strained marriage, Sonny (Lee Grober) and Mary Anne (Kim Kopf) have moved to Massachusetts and have purchased a house that’s existed since colonial times. Sonny and Mary Anne celebrate their first night in the house by getting covered in chocolate. That’s one way to fix a marriage, I guess.
They soon meet their pushy new neighbors, Mitch (David Wells) and Gayle (Anthoni Stewart). Mitch is so helpful that he even takes it upon himself to try to fix a leaky pipe in the basement. However, when Mitch busts a hole in the wall, it not only leads to the basement getting flooded by a strange red light but Mitch also ends up possessed by the spirit of the warlock who previously owned the property.
Other than the presence of a dead warlock and all of the usual softcore sex scenes (which, in the 90s, were pretty much a mainstay of any direct-to-video horror film franchise), there’s nothing in Witchcraft VIII to really link it to any of the previous Witchcraft films. (I did read that the house in Witchcraft VIII also appears in one of the other films but I’m too lazy and too sick of the Witchcraft films to go back and look for it.) There’s no Will Spanner and no Detectives Lutz or Garner. Instead, the entire film owes more to the Amityville franchise than the previous Witchcrafts. Apparently, when the film went into production, it wasn’t even intended to be a Witchcraft film but instead, it was added to the franchise after filming was completed.
With all that in mind, Witchcraft VIII is not that bad, especially as far as low-budget, direct-to-video horror is concerned. It doesn’t waste any time getting the action started and the actors actually do the best that they can with the material they’ve been given. The dead warlock is played Jack van Landingham, who comes across as if he’s auditioning for a role in a pirate film, which is exactly the right approach to take when you’re appearing in a film like this. Even the terrible special effects are more likely to inspire nostalgia than contempt. Witchcraft VIII is dumb fun, even if it doesn’t include Will Spanner. In fact, it’s nice to watch people deal with a warlock without having to listen to Will complaining all the time.
Financially, Witchcraft VIII failed to do as well as the previous Witchcraft films, which led to the end of plans to continue the franchise with a series of stand-alone films. Instead, despite being dead, Will Spanner would return for Witchcraft IX.
Few directors were as obsessed with memory as the great French filmmaker Jean Rollin and the 1975 cinematic memory poem, Lips of Blood, is one of his most personal works.
Frederic (played by Jean-Loup Philippe, a frequent Rollin collaborator) is at a reception for the launch of a new perfume. After discussing how certain fragrances can bring back subjective memories of the past, Frederic notices a poster hanging on the wall. The poster is a photograph of an old castle sitting on the beach. As Frederic stares at the poster, he has a vision of himself as a child, approaching the same castle and meeting a young woman named Jennifer (Annie Belle). Jennifer, who was apparently unable to go beyond the castle’s gates, allowed Frederic to get some sleep in the castle. When Frederic woke up, he left the castle but he promised Jennifer that he would return and that he would help her to leave the castle.
Years later, Frederic is haunted by the vision. He’s not sure if it’s dream or if it’s something that really happened. When he discusses it with his mother (Nathalie Perrey), she insists that it was just a dream and that Jennifer doesn’t exist. Even when Frederic says that he can’t remember anything about his childhood, his mother insists that he’s just imagining things.
But when Frederic starts to have visions of Jennifer beckoning him to come find her, is he imagining things or is she really trying to contact him? When she leads Frederic to a cemetery, is Frederic going mad or is Jennifer trying to tell him something? And, if this is all just in Frederic’s mind, why is he being followed by two mysterious girls who both have fangs and a taste for blood? Why are strangers trying to kill him? Even when Frederic is ruled to be mad and forcefully taken to an insane asylum, he remains obsessed with returning to the beach and finding that castle….
Lips of Blood has all the typical elements of a Rollin film. Yes, there are vampires. Yes, there is an old castle and yes, it’s on the same beach where it’s speculated that Rollin himself spent most of his childhood. (That beach makes an appearance in nearly every Rollin film.) Yes, the imagery is frequently sensual and erotically charged. And yes, the film plays out as its own dreamlike pace. Rollin is often described as being a director of vampire films but, at heart, Rollin was a surrealist and each one of his films creates its own unique world. The world that Rollin creates in Lips of Blood is a rather melancholy one, one tinged with love, regret, and existential angst. Frederic is wealthy and successful and leads what most people would consider to be a glamorous lifestyle. Yet, he’s empty. He’s haunted by the past and a promise that he failed to keep.
Indeed, throughout the film, there’s a palpable yearning for a simpler and more innocent world. It’s present in every frame of Lips of Blood. When Frederic visits the photographer who took the picture of the castle, the walls of her studio are decorated with vaguely political images, reminding us that the modern world can be a frightening and confusing place. The world is full of people who are not only threatened by what Frederic saw in the castle but also by Frederic’s refusal to share their fear. Frederic refuses to conform and therefore, society conspires to destroy not just him but also the glimpse he got into a world beyond our own. By the end of the film, as he and another talk about getting in a coffin and allowing themselves to be swept out to sea in the hope of finding an isolated island, it’s impossible not to hope that they make it.
Lips of Blood is one of Rollin’s best and most personal films. Never forget it.
In this education film from 1959, two dim teenage boys decide to take a trip to the big city. They pick up two girls, the engage in behavior “condemned by society,” and the next thing you know, everyone’s got Syphilis.
Yes, this is another educational film from the 50s, where the emphasis is less on practical advice (i.e., use a condom when having sex, especially with someone who you just met) and more on passing judgment on those who transgressed society’s norms. I have to admit that one of the things that I like about these old films is just how bleak their worldview was. If you screw up once, your life is over. There’s nothing you can do to fix the problem. There’s nothing you can do to redeem yourself. You stepped out-of-line and now, you’ve got the same disease that killed Al Capone. Take that, teenager! The message of this particular film was considered to be so important that it was even filmed in color, which is quite a contrast to the harsh black-and-white aesthetic of most educational films of the period. That, along with the smooth jazz on the soundtrack, is designed to let the target audience know that sex with random people is totally squaresville and not something that a responsible member of society does. Why go to the city when you could join the student council or take part in any number of wholesome school activities?
This film was one of the many educational films to be directed by the great Herk Harvey. In a career that spanned decades, Harvey directed hundreds of short, educational films that were designed to show “young people” how to properly behave. Even if he wasn’t directing a film about VD, then he was probably doing a film about why gossip can be destructive to school spirit.
Harvey also directed one feature film and it’s one of the most important and influential horror films ever made, 1962’s Carnival of Souls. We’ll be sharing that film here on the Lens later this month. Until then, please enjoy The Innocent Party!
What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or Netflix? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!
It’s been nearly a year since I did my last Insomnia File. To be honest, as much as I enjoy writing these posts, I feel like the idea behind the Insomnia File format has become obsolete. The days of people dealing with insomnia by randomly flipping through movies and infomercials have pretty much come to an end. Now, if someone has insomnia, they’re more likely to binge an old show on Netflix.
That said, if you had insomnia at one in the morning last night and you didn’t feel like binging The Office for the hundredth time, you could have turned over to TCM and watched the 1981 film, Enter the Ninja.
What would you have gotten out of Enter the Ninja? Five words: France Nero as a ninja. Seriously, what more do you need? Nero plays Cole, a former mercenary who goes off to Japan, trains to become a ninja, and then heads off for the Philippines, where his old mercenary friend, Frank (Alex Courtney), owns a farm. Frank and his wife, Mary-Ann (Susan George) are having problems because evil businessman Charles Venarius (Christopher George, chewing up the scenery as the bad guy) is determined to force them off of their land. Add to that, Frank is a pathetic drunk.
Soon, Cole is putting on his white ninja suit and fighting to protect the farm and also dealing with Venarius’s ninja, who just happens to be an old rival of Cole’s. Cole is also carrying on an affair with Mary-Ann but that’s not big deal because Frank isn’t much of a man. One of the most interesting things about Enter the Ninja is that it may be a martial arts film but it’s also a modern western and a domestic drama. Cole could just as easily be a gunslinger, protecting the homesteaders. Frank and Mary-Ann could just as easily be a couple on a daytime drama. Instead, they’re all in a ninja film.
The main appeal of Enter the Ninja is Franco Nero, an actor who — in his prime — was one of the sexiest men to ever appear in the movies. He spends a good deal of the film with his face covered but the important thing is that you can still see those beautiful blue eyes. As usual, Nero gives a good performance with so-so material. Nero brings his trademark intensity to the role and he does actually seem to care about whether or not his friends lose their farm.
Enter the Ninja was directed by the legendary Menahem Golan, a filmmaker who understood the importance of never letting the action slow down. Enter the Ninja is dumb, over the top, and entertaining. Plus, it’s got Franco Nero! What else do you need at one in the morning?
The 1968 film, The Green Slime, is meant to be a hybrid of a horror movie and a sci-fi film. One might even call it a forerunner to Alienif one wanted to run the risk of being ridiculed for the rest of one’s life. It’s about an alien life form that manages to sneak into a space station. Once it’s inside the space station, it starts to rapidly multiply and it turns out that everything that the humans do to try to stop it just causes more of the monsters to show up!
Seriously, that should be some major nightmare fuel but instead, the monsters are just too cute to believed.
Okay, maybe cute is the wrong word. When Jeff and I watched this movie, I asked him if he could come up with a better term to describe the monsters than “cute.” He suggested “cheap.” And yes, the monster do look rather cheap. It’s obvious that the monsters are made out of rubber and, half the time, their arms just seem to flail around at random. That’s actually one of the things that makes them so cute!
It’s also one of the things that makes The Green Slime memorable. Today, we tend to take it for granted that anything can be done via CGI so it’s interesting to see a film like this. The Green Slime was originally released 52 years ago, long before CGI. The special effects may look cheap but there’s an undeniable appeal to their quaintness. The special effects are a lot like the monsters themselves. They’re cheap. They’re not particularly convincing. But, in their own weird way, they’re definitely charming.
Of course, they’re not at all scary. That’s a bit unfortunate as far as the film is concerned. Remember how, in the Alien movies, you’re always scared to death that the alien is going to jump from out of nowhere because 1) the alien is absolutely terrifying to look at and 2) anyone caught by the alien is destined to die a terrible and agonizing death? Well, that’s not the case with The Green Slime. The Green Slime just kind of runs around and looks …. well, cute.
That said, The Green Slime cannot be allowed to make its way to Earth so the folks on the space station are going to have to figure out how to defeat it. That’s not going to be easy because the two rival commanders (payed by Robert Horton and Richard Jaeckel) are currently both in love with the same woman. Lisa Benson (Luciana Paluzzi) is the space station’s doctor and needless to say, she’s going to have her hands full. If you’re a Bond connoisseur, you might recognize Luciana Paluzzi from Thunderball. Myself, I was just happy that the doctor was a redhead named Lisa. I could automatically relate to her. Plus, there’s nothing more entertaining than hearing your name repeated over and over again.
The Green Slime was an American-Japanese co-production. The cast is a mix of American and European actors while the film’s crew was predominantly Japanese. Originally, The Green Slime was envisioned as being an American/Italian co-production and Antonio Margheriti was in talks to direct. When that plan fell through, MGM moved the production to Japan and teamed up with the Toei Company. One can only imagine what the film would have looked like if it had been directed by Marheriti. One imagines that the aliens would have been a bit less cute.
Fortunately, cute they are! The Green Slime fails as both a horror and sci-fi film because the aliens themselves never seem like a legitimate threat but I still like the film. If nothing else, it pays tribute to the name Lisa and that’s definitely something that I can get behind.
(It’s tradition here at the Lens that, every October, we watch the original Little Shop of Horrors. And always, I start things off by telling this story…)
Enter singing.
Little Shop…Little Shop of Horrors…Little Shop…Little Shop of Terrors…
Hi! Good morning and Happy October the 2nd! For today’s plunge into the world of public domain horror films, I’d like to present you with a true classic. From 1960, it’s the original Little Shop of Horrors!
When I was 19 years old, I was in a community theater production of the musical Little Shop of Horrors. Though I think I would have made the perfect Audrey, everybody always snickered whenever I sang so I ended up as a part of “the ensemble.” Being in the ensemble basically meant that I spent a lot of time dancing and showing off lots of cleavage. And you know what? The girl who did play Audrey was screechy, off-key, and annoying and after every show, all the old people in the audience always came back stage and ignored her and went straight over to me. So there.
Anyway, during rehearsals, our director thought it would be so funny if we all watched the original film. Now, I’m sorry to say, much like just about everyone else in the cast, this was my first exposure to the original and I even had to be told that the masochistic dentist patient was being played by Jack Nicholson. However, I’m also very proud to say that — out of that entire cast — I’m the only one who understood that the zero-budget film I was watching was actually better than the big spectacle we were attempting to perform on stage. Certainly, I understood the film better than that screechy little thing that was playing Audrey.
The first Little Shop of Horrors certainly isn’t scary and there’s nobody singing about somewhere that’s green (I always tear up when I hear that song, by the way). However, it is a very, very funny film with the just the right amount of a dark streak to make it perfect Halloween viewing.
So, if you have 72 minutes to kill, check out the original and the best Little Shop of Horrors…
Through the Shattered Lens