Vampires vs. Zombies…who would win?


So, we finally have hit the goal of 500th post for the site’s first year.

I had thought to commemorate this achievement by writing up a film review or maybe one of the other writers post something appropriate, but I thought what better way to do this than post something about zombies.

Zombies have been big again of late. The recent premiere season of the TV adaptation of The Walking Dead and the continuation of the original comic book series it’s based on. The TV series’ success has brought the topic of zombies back to the forefront with fans and non-fans sharing a common appreciation for this horror sub-genre which has remained the dirty, stepchild cousin to the more glamorous and fantasy-fulfilling monsters calling themselves vampires.

Vampires have been in the general public’s consciousness due to the popularity of the Twilight book and film series not to mention the TV shows True Blood and The Vampire Diaries. These three franchises have made the vampires sexy and popular once again. While they’re not the silk and lace types popularized by author Anne Rice during the 80’s they still portray the vampires as dangerous, but also conflicted and over-emotional creatures who curse their lot as much as embrace it.

Zombies on the other hand have began their inevitable decline after the market was flooded by legion of sub-par books and films. For every Dawn of the Dead (remake) and Shaun of the Dead we got stuff like Day of the Dead (remake) and direct-to-DVD titles such as Zombie Wars and Last Rites. But thanks to the Robert Kirkman’s critically-acclaimed and very popular zombie comic book series and it’s subsequent TV adaptation by showrunner Frank Darabont the zombies have had a major resurgence that brought the question of which was better: zombies or vampires.

These two monsters have their histories both in entertainment and in folklore. The vampire legend and myth could trace itself back to the beginning of human history as early human civilizations always had in their stories and own legends creatures risen from the grave to drink the lifeblood of those still living. There’s Lilith of the Judeo-Christian faiths who some attribute to being the mother of all vampires. There’s also Cain himself who many thought was the progenitor of the original vampire myth. Every major religion both past and present have had their version of the vampire, but while they’ve remained as stories told to warn children of the dangers of the night they were never truly told as part of entertainment. Only in the past hundred or so years have vampires begun to make their mark on the realm of entertainment.

Zombies on the other hand have always been the younger sibling. It’s history has it’s basis on local religious folklore from African slaves brought over to work the plantations of Imperial colonies in the West. The zombies of these West Indies folklore were not the flesh-eating creatures we now know, but just another form of slavery. The flesh-eating aspect of the zombies would not make it’s appearance until a filmmaker from Pittsburgh decided to make his recently risen dead to become flesh-eaters. Night of the Living Dead gave birth to the zombies that’s turned legions of readers and monster aficionados into fans of the monster. A monster who wasn’t as strong or as sexy as the vampire, but much scarier and quite more apocalyptic in its nature. It’s this apocalyptic aspect of the zombie monster which keeps this younger monster from becoming fully eclipsed by it’s more older sibling the vampire.

Now, a question was brought up by the websites Zombie Ammo and Vampybit.Me about the topic on vampires and zombies. With the current popularity of these two monsters there was bound to be a debate on who would win in a match-up between the two monsters for domination of the world.

In one corner we have vampires who retain their intellect and have increased all their senses and even given supernatural abilities. They also remain living dead who need the blood of the living to survive with their faculties intact. No blood means having to waste away into a sort of limbo where death doesn’t truly come but also living death becomes a paralyzing curse only to be lifted with infusion of this life giving blood.

In the other corner we have zombies who are literally mindless with only the primal instinct to feed the only motivation for their existence. But feed on living flesh they must and their hunger has no limit. Their literally a locust on a global scale which would scour the planet of all living things. It doesn’t matter whether the flesh is human or animal but it has to be the warm, living flesh that feeds them. In the end, zombies would become the extinction-level event for humanity.

So, who would win in such a battle for domination.

Vampires need humans. While their appetites ultimately kills their human victims they do try to keep their feeding in moderation. While there are stories and films that paints a world where vampires rule the planet openly they still maintain slave-colonies and/or human farms where they allow their human cattle to breed and multiply thus  their food source remains constant. Human extinction is not what vampires want, but control of humanity instead. Controlling their food and harvesting them in an efficient manner. Only a select few would be turned into vampires. Humans who are willing to serve their undead lords would protect them during the daytime and become Renfield overseers over those humans who do not feel the same.

Zombies on the other hand do not care whether their appetites have been sated by a recent feeding. They will continue to feed as long as a living human and/or animal is in their reach. They would gorge themselves to the infinite for that’s what their instinct drives them to do. Human won’t be able to reason or subjugate themselves upon these monsters. These monsters do not have the wherewithal to ration their food source. The fact that death itself (any death whether through zombie, accident or natural) would just add to their geometrically increasing numbers.

How can humanity find a way to stave off extinction in the face of such a surge of death?

The answer to that is the answer to who would win between vampires and zombies. An answer that some may not agree with (being a zombie fan I’m actually surprised I came to this conclusion), but is the correct one when the question was logically looked at.

Vampires would win over zombies.

I say this because despite the vampires having lesser numbers they would have the intellect and know-how to defeat the legions of walking dead. They do this not out of the goodness of their unbeating hearts, but out of necessity. A necessity that ties their existence with the continued existence of humanity. A humanity that becomes extinct due to a zombie apocalypse would inexorably lead to the very downfall of the vampires themselves.

Vampires on skill alone would be able to destroy any zombies they come across. The fact that their flesh are cold and they’re not living makes them invisible to the zombies. They don’t want to feed on dead flesh because if they did then they would turn on each other instead. This aspect of the vampire keeps them upright and ready to fight.

With their food source endangered by this upstart monster the vampire would have no choice but to protect this valuable resource. As we’ve seen with the more popular types of vampire stories and film it is that vampires are small in numbers, global and ruled over by a council of elders who governed clans of vampires. They impose rule of vampiric law to make sure that their kind remain secret from the world at-large and/or keep their numbers down to better keep the vampiric plague from becoming a wildfire that would scour the planet of life.

It would be up to these governing bodies of vampires to make sure humanity doesn’t succumb to any form of zombie apocalypse. The level of survival for humanity from such an apocalypse will depend on how quickly vampires marshall their meager, but powerfu forces to stave off the inevitable tide of walking dead. They could respond right away and stop the tide before it becomes a global pandemic or their response would be slow and bring humanity to the brink.

In the end, vampires would do whatever it takes to keep humanity from joining the likes of the dinosaurs and mammoth. Whether it’s using their own supernatural-given abilities to destroy zombies by the score and hundreds. Or they could reveal themselves to humanity as vampiric saviors and giving them a choice: become extinct by way of an unchecked zombie apocalypse or allowed to be ruled by a vampiric elite who would protect them from this tide.

It’s a lousy choice for humanity, but one that I think they would choose for the latter (until they find a way to defeat both and keep themselves whole). The prospect extinction is a powerful motivator for a species and choosing to continue one’s species even under the rule of a parasitic race is a better choice than dying out under the teeth and clawed nails of the walking dead.

As you can tell I’m a huge fan of both (though I lean more towards zombies) and have thought about this topic on more than one occasion. This site has seen many posts about zombies though not enough about vampires which would need to be remedied. There’s the ongoing reviews of The Walking Dead in both it’s comic book and TV series form. There was also the reviews of this past summer’s anime series hit which also dealt with the zombie apocalypse but with a level of T&A involved to spice things up a bit. I speak of Highschool of the Dead.

Feel free to leave comments about what you think the conclusion I arrived at. Who do you think will win out between vampires and zombies? Which of the two do you like to read and watch more of? If there was a zombie apocalypse would you try to survive on your own or submit yourself to a vampiric protector and hope they don’t run out of their own supply of blood?

20 Cinematic Moments That Will Define 2010 For Me


Every year, there’s a handful of film scenes that come to define the entire year for us.  At their best, these scenes can leave such an impression that they become a part of our shared history.  For some people (though not me), 2009 will always be the year of Avatar.  Meanwhile, for me (but not others), 2010 will always be the year I realized it was okay to admit how much I love to dance.  Listed below are 20 of the many film moments that I will remember whenever I look back on this current year.

20) Carey Mulligan and Andrew Garfield discover what really happened to all of their childhood artwork in Never Let Me Go.

Permeated with an atmosphere of nonstop melancholy, Never Let Me Go never quite found the audience is deserved but I think it’s one of the best films of 2010 and the scene mentioned above is one of the reasons why.

19) Scott Pilgrim says, “Oh cool, coins!” in Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.

And Lisa Marie suddenly realizes that she has fallen in love with a movie.

18) Keifer Sutherland says, “Tap that ass” in Twelve.

Truth be told, I don’t even remember what was happening on-screen.  I just remember Keifer, as the film’s narrator, saying “Tap that ass” in that sexy, nicotine-fueld growl of his and thinking to myself, “Well, okay…”

17) Jake Gyllenhaal chases down a bus full of dying old people in Love and Other Drugs.

Yes, the old people desperately need to get up to Canada so they can get their prescriptions filled but unfortunately for them, Anne Hathaway happens to be on the bus as well and Jake — apparently realizing that he’ll never get to see her breasts again if they break up — chases the bus down in his Porsche so he can reconcile with her.  And, of course, the old people are just so adorably excited at the idea of a 15-minute delay while these two deeply damaged characters stand outside and talk about their relationship.  I mean, fuck it — who cares about getting these people their medicine when there’s a disposable pop tune playing in the background and Jake wants to talk to his ex-girlfriend?  In so many ways, this scene represents everything I hate about mainstream filmmaking.

16) Joseph Gordon-Levitt flies through the corridors of a dream hotel in Inception.

Inception was a film full of amazing images but my personal favorite was perhaps the simplest — Joseph Gordon-Levitt (looking rather adorable in his dark suit) floating down those Argentoesque hallways while trying to figure out how to wake everyone up.

15) Jacki Weaver delivers the line of the year in Animal Kingdom.

“And you’ve done some bad things, sweetie.”

14)  John Hawkes “talks” his way out of a traffic stop in Winter’s Bone.

While Winter’s Bone should rightfully make Jennifer Lawrence a star, John Hawkes also contributed some of the film’s best moments.

13) Patrick Fabian slips a recipe into his sermon in The Last Exorcism.

Cast as a modern-day Marjoe Gortner in this underappreciated film, Fabian gives one of the best performances of the year, if not the best.

12) Chloe Grace Moretz saves Kick-Ass from the mafia in Kick-Ass.

As far as women kicking ass was concerned, 2010 was a good year.  Sure, the majority of cinematic female portraits were — as always — sexist to the extreme but there were a few rays of hope.  Angelina Jolie in Salt, Noomi Rapace in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo films, Mila Jovovich in Resident Evil — all were among the women who got to do something more than just look pretty while the boys saved the day.  Seeing as how I’m honoring Rapace further down the list, I’m going to allow Chloe Grace Moretz (in the role of Hit Girl) to serve as a stand-in here for every single woman who was allowed to kick a little ass in 2010.

11) Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg walks down the streets of Lowell at the beginning of The Fighter.

Seriously, this entire sequence — set to Heavy’s How You Like Me Now? (or “The Sock Monkey Song” as I call it) — could be a short film in itself.  Call it: “Men and why we love them.”

10) Colin Firth fearfully waits to give a speech at the start of The King’s Speech.

One look at Firth’s terrified eyes and I was in tears.  From that minute on, this unexpected gem of a film had me.

9) Jennifer Lawrence fishes for her dad’s hand in Winter’s Bone.

Southern gothic at its best!

8) James Franco is rescued by a purifying storm in 127 Hours.

Helpless and hopeless, Franco is suddenly freed by a sudden storm.  Both Franco and director Danny Boyle handle this scene with such skill that the audience finds itself just as saddened as Franco when it all turns out to be a hallucination.

7) Katie Jarvis dances in an abandoned apartment and finds a momentary glimmer of hope in Fish Tank.

Between this movie and Black Swan, 2010 was the year that reminded me of just how much I love to dance and why.  2010 is the year that I realized it was okay for me to love to dance again.

6) Andy gives away his toys at the end of Toy Story 3.

And Lisa Marie cries and cries.

5) Lisbeth Salander (played by Noomi Rapace) gives her abusive guardian a tattoo in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

For any and every girl who has ever been used, abused, hurt, spoken down to, insulted, manipulated, or betrayed by someone who claimed to only be looking after her best interests, this scene was truly cathartic.  When I say that Noomi Rapace’s Lisbeth will be iconic, it’s largely because of scenes like this.  In that one scene, Lisbeth is established as a woman who will never be victimized and it gives hope any for those of us who don’t have dragon tattoos. 

4) Footage from Theirry’s completed “documentary” is revealed in Exit Through The Gift Shop.

And the audience is  suddenly forced to question just how much of anything they’ve seen is the truth.

3) The spinning top wobbles at the end of Inception.

Or does it?

2) Kathryn Bigelow becomes the first woman to win the Oscar for best director while her ex-husband glowers in silence.

I wasn’t a huge fan of The Hurt Locker but I still squealed with delight as Kathryn Bigelow accepted the award that should have gone to Sofia Coppola back in 2004.  Not only did Bigelow make history but she did it by beating her soulless jerk of an ex-husband, James Cameron.  And then she gave one of the best acceptance speeches in Oscar history, all the while looking about 20 years younger than she actually is.  In short, Kathryn Bigelow showed every Oscar winner — past, present, and future — exactly how it’s done.

1) The final fifteen minutes of Black Swan

In 15 minutes, Darren Aronofsky reminded me of how much I love ballet and audiences of why we love movies in the first place.

Dallas Snubs Lisa Marie


I’m now officially bored with groups of people voting for and handing out awards.  However, I do have to mention one more film critics group that announced their “best-of-2010” selections earlier today.

The Dallas-Fort Worth Film Critics Association announced their picks and, while the winners are pretty much the same films and performances that everyone else has honored this year, I still find it fascinating that there is apparently a Dallas-Forth Worth Film Critics Association.  I mean, I live in Dallas and I love my city but it’s not like we’re Los Angeles or New York.  Dallas has two newspapers — the Dallas Morning News and the weekly Dallas Observer.  Forth Worth has the Star Telegram and that’s about it.  Of course, the towns surrounding the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex all have their own local papers but for the most part, everything is owned and published by the same company that puts out the Morning News.  So, regardless of whether its political endorsements or film reviews, we’re not exactly dealing with a lot of editorial diversity.

And, of course, I haven’t even start to get into the main issue — which is that I’m not a member!  I’m an opinionated, online film critic from North Texas!  Where’s my freaking membership!?  Is it because I’m a woman?  That’s it, isn’t it?  All you good old boys just don’t realize that the glass ceiling hasn’t just been cracked, it’s been shattered…

Oh, wait.  I just visited the official site of the Dallas/Ft. Worth Film Critics Association and apparently, 11 of the 32 members are female.  And apparently, once you join, you have to pay dues…

Never mind. 🙂

Plus, I noticed that Gary Cogill is a member and if you live in DFW then you know that Gary Cogill is just da man.

Anyway, here’s their list of winners:

TOP TEN:
1. The Social Network
2. The King`s Speech
3. Black Swan
4. 127 Hours
5. Winter`s Bone
6. Inception
7. The Fighter
8. True Grit
9. The Town
10. The Kids Are All Right

(Really?  The Town and The Kids Are All Right make the top ten?  I don’t know, maybe I should demand membership becaue it seems like they kinda need me…)

BEST PICTURE: The Social Network

BEST DIRECTOR: David Fincher, The Social Network

BEST ACTOR: James Franco, 127 Hours

BEST ACTRESS: Natalie Portman, Black Swan

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Christian Bale, The Fighter

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Melissa Leo, The Fighter

BEST SCREENPLAY: The Social Network (Bleh, give a mainstream, elitist like Aaron Sorkin all the awards you want, he’s still going to hate on us for being from Texas…)

BEST FOREIGN FILM: Biutiful

BEST DOCUMENTARY: Waiting for Superman

BEST ANIMATED FILM: Toy Story 3

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: 127 Hours

RUSSEL SMITH AWARD: Winter`s Bone

Jean Rollin, la clef à mes désirs secrets, R.I.P.


My favorite film director, France’s Jean Rollin, passed away on December 15th at the age of 72. 

There are three types of people in the world: those who love Rollin, those who will eventually love Rollin once their eyes are opened, and those who just don’t matter.

When I first told Arleigh that Rollin had passed, he mentioned that the American director Blake Edwards had died as well.  Oddly enough, I sometimes think of my favorite Rollin film — Night of the Hunted (which I reviewed on this site) — as being a rather grim, Grindhouse version of another one of my favorite films, Breakfast at Tiffany’s.  The main difference, of course, is that Edwards’ Holly Golightly is allowed to triumph at the end while Rollin’s version is destroyed by an embarrassed mainstream establishment.  History, I think, has given us little room for doubt concerning which vision is closer to the truth.

In his best films (Night of the Hunted, The Living Dead Girl, Two Orphan Vampires, Requiem For A Vampire, The Grapes of Death, Fascination, Lost In New York, The Sidewalks of Bangkok, Shiver of the Vampires), Rollin proved himself to be a cinematic poet with an eye for dream-like imagery and a special skill for capturing the mysteries, ambiguities, and ultimate beauty of female friendship and sisterhood.

Je ne crois pas au bon. Je ne crois pas au mal. Je ne crois pas en Dieu. Je crois seulement à l’amour et au Rollin.

Hey SAG! Where’s Jacki?


Is there any organization out there right now that isn’t handing out either awards or nominations?  Earlier today, The members of the Screen Actors Guild became the latest organization to join in the fun when they announced their nominations for the best film performances of 2010.

Here’s the nominees.  I apologize, in advance, for the lack of sarcastic commentary but I have a headache and, as a result, my wit is sleeping on the couch for now.

Ensemble:
Black Swan
The Fighter
The Kids Are All Right
The King’s Speech
The Social Network

Actress, Lead:
Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Hilary Swank, Conviction

Actor, Motion Picture
Jeff Bridges, True Grit
Robert Duvall, Get Low
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours

Supporting Actor
Christian Bale, The Fighter
John Hawkes, Winter’s Bone
Jeremy Renner, The Town
Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right
Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech

Actress, Supporting
Amy Adams, The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech
Mila Kunis, Black Swan
Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit

Well, okay, maybe I’ll make a few comments along the lines of “Yay for the love shown to Natalie Portman, John Hawkes, James Franco, Jennifer Lawrence, and Mila Kunis!”

But seriously, SAG, where’s Animal Kingdom’s Jacki Weaver?  I mean, I can understand why Noomi Rapace was snubbed.  The Mainstream doesn’t want to remind people that there was a perfect Lisbeth Salander before Rooney Mara.  That’s how the game is played.  That’s why the people over at awardsdaily.com are already trying to claim David Fincher’s remake of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo as the film to beat for best picture next year.

But nobody’s remaking Animal Kingdom.  There’s nothing wrong with admitting that, in a year of excellent female performances, few were as a note perfect and unexpected as Jacki Weaver’s.

“I’ll show you a pair of Golden Globes!”


The Golden Globes nominations were announced today and, as usual, they were a strange combination of the expected nominees and a few that seem to have literally come out of thin air.  (Check out that Best Picture nomination for The Tourist.)  The Golden Globes are awarded by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, an organization that seems to be about as shadowy and obscure as an Illumnati splinter group.  That said, I’ve always wanted to be nominated for Golden Globe just so I could get in front of a tv camera, thrust out my boobs, and say, “I’ll show you a pair of Golden Globes!” 

Anyway, as I looked over the nominations earlier today, three things came to mind.

First off, the Walking Dead was nominated for Best Dramatic Television Series.  Yay!

Secondly, I was kinda hoping that Noomi Rapace might be able to sneak in as one of the Best Actress nominees.  There is a small campaign going on to win her an Oscar nomination for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and she was nominated for best actress by yet another shadowy group, the Broadcast Film Critics.  Unfortunately, a Golden Globe nod was not to be. 

Third, I was a little bit surprised to discover that Toy Story 3 was not nominated for Best Picture (Comedy).  In the past, the Hollywood Foreign Press has been far more willing than the Academy to nominate animated films and Toy Story 3 seemed like a far more likely choice than The Tourist.  In fact, not even the film’s theme song picked up a nomination.  Of course, Toy Story 3 did pick up a nomination for best animated film but I still wonder if maybe this could be evidence of a Toy Story 3 backlash.  Up until a week ago, I would have said that Toy Story 3 is guaranteed an Oscar nomination for best picture.  Now, I’m starting to have my doubts.

Anyway, here’s the nominees (taken from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association web site):

  • BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
    1. BLACK SWAN
      Protozoa Pictures & Cross Creek Pictures & Phoenix; Fox Searchlight Pictures
    2. THE FIGHTER
      Paramount Pictures and Relativity Media; Paramount Pictures and Relativity Media
    3. INCEPTION
      Warner Bros. Pictures UK LTD.; Warner Bros. Pictures
    4. THE KING’S SPEECH
      See-Saw Films and Bedlam Productions; The Weinstein Company
    5. THE SOCIAL NETWORK
      Columbia Pictures; Sony Pictures Releasing
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
    1. HALLE BERRY FRANKIE AND ALICE
    2. NICOLE KIDMAN RABBIT HOLE
    3. JENNIFER LAWRENCE WINTER’S BONE
    4. NATALIE PORTMAN BLACK SWAN
    5. MICHELLE WILLIAMS BLUE VALENTINE
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
    1. JESSE EISENBERG THE SOCIAL NETWORK
    2. COLIN FIRTH THE KING’S SPEECH
    3. JAMES FRANCO 127 HOURS
    4. RYAN GOSLING BLUE VALENTINE
    5. MARK WAHLBERG THE FIGHTER
  • BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
    1. ALICE IN WONDERLAND
      Walt Disney Pictures; Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
    2. BURLESQUE
      Screen Gems; Sony Pictures Releasing
    3. THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
      Antidote Films, Mandalay Vision, Gilbert Films; Focus Features
    4. RED
      di Bonaventura Pictures; Summit Entertainment
    5. THE TOURIST
      GK Films; Sony Pictures Releasing
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
    1. ANNETTE BENING THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
    2. ANNE HATHAWAY LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS
    3. ANGELINA JOLIE THE TOURIST
    4. JULIANNE MOORE THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
    5. EMMA STONE EASY A
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
    1. JOHNNY DEPP ALICE IN WONDERLAND
    2. JOHNNY DEPP THE TOURIST
    3. PAUL GIAMATTI BARNEY’S VERSION
    4. JAKE GYLLENHAAL LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS
    5. KEVIN SPACEY CASINO JACK
  • BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
    1. DESPICABLE ME
      Universal Pictures, Illumination Entertainment; Universal Pictures
    2. HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON
      DreamWorks Animation; Paramount Pictures
    3. THE ILLUSIONIST
      Django Films, Ciné B and France 3 Cinéma; Sony Pictures Classics
    4. TANGLED
      Walt Disney Animation Studios; Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
    5. TOY STORY 3
      Disney * Pixar; Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
  • BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
    1. BIUTIFUL (MEXICO/SPAIN)

      Menageatroz, Focus Features International; Roadside Attractions

    2. THE CONCERT (FRANCE)

      An Oï Oï Oï Productions, Les Productions Du Tresor, France 3 Cinema, Europacorp, Castel Films, Panache Productions, RTBF (Belgian Television), BIM Distrubuzione Co., Canal +, Cinecinema and France 3; The Weinstein Company

    3. THE EDGE (Kpaй) (RUSSIA)

      Teleshow/Rock Films; Central Partnership (Russia)

    4. I AM LOVE (IO SONO L’AMORE) (ITALY)

      First Sun; Magnolia Pictures

    5. IN A BETTER WORLD (Hævnen) (DENMARK)

      Zentropa Entertainment; Sony Pictures Classics

  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
    1. AMY ADAMS THE FIGHTER
    2. HELENA BONHAM CARTER THE KING’S SPEECH
    3. MILA KUNIS BLACK SWAN
    4. MELISSA LEO THE FIGHTER
    5. JACKI WEAVER ANIMAL KINGDOM
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
    1. CHRISTIAN BALE THE FIGHTER
    2. MICHAEL DOUGLAS WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS
    3. ANDREW GARFIELD THE SOCIAL NETWORK
    4. JEREMY RENNER THE TOWN
    5. GEOFFREY RUSH THE KING’S SPEECH
  • BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE
    1. DARREN ARONOFSKY BLACK SWAN
    2. DAVID FINCHER THE SOCIAL NETWORK
    3. TOM HOOPER THE KING’S SPEECH
    4. CHRISTOPHER NOLAN INCEPTION
    5. DAVID O. RUSSELL THE FIGHTER
  • BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE
    1. DANNY BOYLE, SIMON BEAUFOY 127 HOURS
    2. LISA CHOLODENKO, STUART BLUMBERG THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
    3. CHRISTOPHER NOLAN INCEPTION
    4. DAVID SEIDLER THE KING’S SPEECH
    5. AARON SORKIN THE SOCIAL NETWORK
  • BEST ORIGINAL SCORE – MOTION PICTURE
    1. ALEXANDRE DESPLAT THE KING’S SPEECH
    2. DANNY ELFMAN ALICE IN WONDERLAND
    3. A.R. RAHMAN 127 HOURS
    4. TRENT REZNOR, ATTICUS ROSS THE SOCIAL NETWORK
    5. HANS ZIMMER INCEPTION
  • BEST ORIGINAL SONG – MOTION PICTURE
    1. “BOUND TO YOU” — BURLESQUE
      Music by: Samuel Dixon
      Lyrics by: Christina Aguilera, Sia Furler
    2. “COMING HOME” — COUNTRY STRONG
      Music & Lyrics by: Bob DiPiero, Tom Douglas, Hillary Lindsey, Troy Verges
    3. “I SEE THE LIGHT” — TANGLED
      Music by: Alan Menken
      Lyrics by: Glenn Slater
    4. “THERE’S A PLACE FOR US” — CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER
      Music & Lyrics by: Carrie Underwood, David Hodges, Hillary Lindsey
    5. “YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF ME” — BURLESQUE
      Music & Lyrics by: Diane Warren
  • BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
    1. OARDWALK EMPIRE (HBO)
      Leverage, Closest to the Hole Productions, Sikelia Productions and Cold Front Productions, HBO Entertainment
    2. DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
      Showtime, John Goldwyn Productions, The Colleton Company
    3. THE GOOD WIFE (CBS)
      CBS Television Studios
    4. MAD MEN (AMC)
      Lionsgate Television
    5. THE WALKING DEAD (AMC)
      AMC
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
    1. JULIANNA MARGULIES THE GOOD WIFE
    2. ELISABETH MOSS MAD MEN
    3. PIPER PERABO COVERT AFFAIRS
    4. KATEY SAGAL SONS OF ANARCHY
    5. KYRA SEDGWICK THE Closer
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
    1. STEVE BUSCEMI BOARDWALK EMPIRE
    2. BRYAN CRANSTON BREAKING BAD
    3. MICHAEL C. HALL DEXTER
    4. JON HAMM MAD MEN
    5. HUGH LAURIE HOUSE
  • BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
    1. 30 ROCK (NBC)
      Universal Media Studios in association with Broadway Video and Little
      Stranger Inc.
    2. THE BIG BANG THEORY (CBS)
      Warner Bros. Television
    3. THE BIG C (SHOWTIME)
      Showtime, Sony Pictures Television, Perkins Street Productions, Farm Kid, Original Film
    4. GLEE (FOX)
      Ryan Murphy Television, Twentieth Century Fox Television
    5. MODERN FAMILY (ABC)
      Twentieth Century Fox Television
    6. NURSE JACKIE (SHOWTIME)
      Showtime, Lionsgate Television, Jackson Group Entertainment, Madison Grain Elevator, Inc. & Delong Lumber, Caryn Mandabach Productions
  • EST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES –COMEDY OR MUSICAL
    1. TONI COLLETTE UNITED STATES OF TARA
    2. EDIE FALCO NURSE JACKIE
    3. TINA FEY 30 ROCK
    4. LAURA LINNEY THE BIG C
    5. LEA MICHELE GLEE
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
    1. ALEC BALDWIN 30 ROCK
    2. STEVE CARELL THE OFFICE
    3. THOMAS JANE HUNG
    4. MATTHEW MORRISON GLEE
    5. JIM PARSONS THE BIG BANG THEORY
  • BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
    1. CARLOS (SUNDANCE CHANNEL)
      Film En Stock and Egoli Tossell Film, Sundance Channel
    2. THE PACIFIC (HBO)
      Playtone and DreamWorks in association with HBO Films
    3. PILLARS OF THE EARTH (STARZ)
      Starz, Tandem Communications, Muse Entertainment Scott Free Films
    4. TEMPLE GRANDIN (HBO)
      A Ruby Films, Gerson Saines Production, HBO Films
    5. YOU DON’T KNOW JACK (HBO)
      Bee Holder, Cine Mosaic and Levinson/Fontana Productions, HBO Films
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
    1. HAYLEY ATWELL PILLARS OF THE EARTH
    2. CLAIRE DANES TEMPLE GRANDIN
    3. JUDI DENCH RETURN TO CRANFORD
    4. ROMOLA GARAI EMMA
    5. JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT THE CLIENT LIST
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
    1. IDRIS ELBA LUTHER
    2. IAN MCSHANE PILLARS OF THE EARTH
    3. AL PACINO YOU DON’T KNOW JACK
    4. DENNIS QUAID THE SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP
    5. EDGAR RAMIREZ CARLOS
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
    1. HOPE DAVIS THE SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP
    2. JANE LYNCH GLEE
    3. KELLY MACDONALD BOARDWALK EMPIRE
    4. JULIA STILES DEXTER
    5. SOFIA VERGARA MODERN FAMILY
  • BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
    1. SCOTT CAAN HAWAII FIVE-O
    2. CHRIS COLFER GLEE
    3. CHRIS NOTH THE GOOD WIFE
    4. ERIC STONESTREET MODERN FAMILY
    5. DAVID STRATHAIRN TEMPLE GRANDIN
  • The New York Toadsuckers Have Spoken


    As I mentioned in my last post, the New York Film Critics Circle voted on and announced their picks for the best films of the year today.  Looking over the winners, all I can say is — YAWN!

    Best Film:
    The Social Network

    Best Director:
    David Fincher, The Social Network

    Best Screenplay:
    The Kids Are All Right

    Best Actress:
    Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right

    Best Actor:
    Colin Firth, The King’s Speech

    Best Supporting Actress:
    Melissa Leo, The Fighter

    Best Supporting Actor:
    Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right

    Best Cinematography:
    Black Swan

    Best Animated Film:
    The Illusionist

    Best Non-fiction Film:
    Inside Job

    Best Foreign Language Film:
    Carlos

    Best First Feature:
    Animal Kingdom

    Over on Awardsdaily.com, the response to the New York Critics was: “NO ONE  wrote a better screenplay than Aaron Sorkin this year.” 

    (And yes, they specifically put that statement in bold print with NO ONE capitalized, just to make sure that the point came through.)

    Really?  NO ONE?  It’s time to admit the truth — The Social Network has gone from being a movie to being a cult.  Apparently, even suggesting that any other movie might deserve an honor or two this year is an act of heresy.  Sorry, New York Film Critics.  Prepare yourself to be eaten by lions while the Sorkinites watch and cheer.

    That said, the screenplay for The Kids Are All Right had all the depth of a sitcom.  And Mark Ruffalo’s supporting performance was good but nothing that couldn’t have been done by just about any other scruffy actor in Hollywood.  And while Annette Bening did a good job with her role, this is the year of Natalie Portman in Black Swan, Noomi Rapace in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Katie Jarvis in Fish Tank, and Jennifer Lawrence in Winter’s Bone.  This was a year in which so many actresses gave unique, unexpected performances in roles that redefined the stereotypical cinematic female lead.  Annette Bening was good but so many were great.

    It’s also interesting to note that The Illusionist (which I haven’t seen and know very little about) was named best animated feature as opposed to the presumed favorite, Toy Story 3.  Just a few months ago, the general assumption seemed to be that Toy Story 3 would easily pick up a best picture nod but it seems like that storyline’s been forgotten in all the hype surrounding The Social Network.

    The Oscars: The Visual Effects SemiFinalists


    The Visual Branch Executive Committee of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Scienes (yes, you can say it five times fast but can you say it five times fast while eating a pop tart — I think not!) has released a list of the 15 semifinalists for the 2010 Oscar for Best Visual Effects.

    And here they are:

    • Alice in Wonderland
    • The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
    • Clash of the Titans
    • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1
    • Hereafter
    • Inception
    • Iron Man 2
    • The Last Airbender
    • Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
    • Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
    • Scott Pilgrim vs the World
    • Shutter Island
    • The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
    • TRON: Legacy
    • Unstoppable

    This list will be narrowed down again to 7 semifinalists and then in February, the actual nominees will be announced.

    Looking over this list, there’s a few bright spots.  I don’t think anyone’s surprised that Inception made the cut but it’s still good to see it there.  I’m also happy to see that there’s at least a chance that Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World might get some love.  Same thing with Shutter Island.

    As for the rest of the list — well, it’s pretty much what you would expect to see, isn’t it?  Clash of the Titans?  Really?  I have to admit that I don’t remember the film all that well but didn’t the special effects kinda look like …. well, crap?  I can only assume that the voters were overwhelmed by the raw charisma of Sam Worthington.  Prince of Persia was a little better but still, for the most part, the effects were routine, dull, and predictable.  Hereafter featured an impressive tsunami but otherwise, the visual effects were pretty much limited to making the afterlife resemble a poorly lit office of the DMV.

    As usual, I guess what’s really interesting about this list isn’t what’s listed as much as what’s not.  I would happily replace both Clash of the Titans and Price of Persia with Splice and Skyline, two mediocre films that were distinguished by impressive f/x work.

    For that matter, even the Social Network featured Armie Hammer acting opposite himself.

    I’m also disappointed to see that Black Swan was left off the list.  In typical Darren Aronofsky fashion, they did indeed come close to going over the top.  The fact that they didn’t is exactly why they deserve to be honored.

    (I found this list of semifinalists on AwardsDaily.com but I’m not including a link because the site is run by an elitist dumbfug who apparently thinks that she’s the end-all/be-all of Oscar commentators.  Yes, she’s a commentator and not just some grubby little blogger like the rest of us.  Or, as she once put it — “I know the game.  Hell, I am the game…”  When I call someone a toadsucker, that’s the type of person I’m talking about.)

    Do Critics Matter?


    Do critics (specifically, professional film critics) matter?  In a word, no.

    This is something I’ve been thinking about for a while now, ever since I came across an article by “professional” critic Sasha Stone in which she asked the exact same question and came to the exact opposite conclusion.  Her argument boiled down to one quote: “You see things differently when you’re 20 than when you’re 30.”

    And she’s right.  I see things differently at 25 than I did when I was 13.  And I imagine that when 30 comes around, I’ll have a whole new set of opinions.  For that matter, I’m sure that as a Texan I probably see some things differently than how a native of California would see them.  As I mentioned in my previous review of Black Swan, a lot of my reaction to that film was due to my own history and experiences.  Would someone who has never had those same experiences have the same reaction?  Probably not.

    So, yes, Sasha is right.  People see things differently.

    And I’m even more right when I say that a 30 year-old critic matters about as much as a 20 year-old critic.

    At the heart of professional film criticism is this elitist notion that somehow, Roger Ebert’s opinion is more worthy of consideration than some guy who actually had to spend money to get a ticket so he could watch the movie in theater surrounded by strangers while he eats rancid move theater nachos.

    Ultimately, criticism is just an opinion and the only opinion that matters is yours.  Just because I hated Avatar doesn’t mean that Avatar is a terrible movie.  It just means that from my point of view, it sucks.  And, as much fun as I have explaining why I felt it sucked, that’s ultimately just my opinion.  Whether or not Avatar is a good film or if Black Swan is a great film , the only person that can answer that question is you. 

    When it comes to film (and really, all art) I think we would do best to remember the words of Aleister Crowley: “Nothing is true.  All is permitted.”

    This has been on my mind a lot recently as we went Oscar season and so many critics are now taking it upon themselves to announce which films are the best and we’re all expected to follow along with their opinions like lemmings going over a cliff.  Around this time, the old school film critics start to get paranoid about all of us bloggers who have the nerve to offer up our opinions on film as if our opinion matters.  That’s because most of these critics are a part of that generation that was raised to believe that only certain people were allowed to speak and that they only had the right as long as what they said was safe and predictable.  Independent bloggers scare them because it proves what we all know: that anyone can provide an opinion.

    Perhaps that’s why they’ve been so enthusiastic about embracing The Social Network, a film that suggests that blogging was the invention of sociopaths.

    But ultimately, a critic is just another person providing their opinion.  And maybe you respect that opinion enough that you’ll allow it to influence what you chose to see or not to see.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  To me, the best thing that a critic can do — and what I hope I can do on occasion — is make the viewer aware of a film that he or she might otherwise not be aware of.  If you see a film because I recommended it, I thank you and I hope you enjoyed the film as much (or as little) as I did.  And if you didn’t, that’s cool too.  I’m just a viewer with an opinion.

    But when it comes to the movie itself, critics do not matter.  The only thing that matters is the individual viewer.  Art is the eye of the beholder.

    At this time of year, we’re reminded that so much of so-called “professional” film criticism is simply about building a bandwagon and hopping on.  Here’s hoping that in the future, we set that bandwagon on fire and let it burn.

    10 Unacknowledged Christmas Classics


    It’s December and that means that it’s the Christmas season and that can only mean an abundance of Christmas movies both at movie theaters and on television.  This Christmas movie has even become a genre in a way that the Thanksgiving movie or the Bank Holiday movie never has.

    I love the Christmas season because 1) it’s one of the few times that there’s half a chance of seeing snow in Texas, 2) it gives me an excuse to bond with family, and 3) I get lots of presents.  And I enjoy Christmas movies so much that I can pretty much quote every line from It’s A Wonderful Life from memory.  I’ve even been known to enjoy the holiday movie marathons that pop up on the Lifetime Movie Network (especially if they feature Jeff Fahey and his bluer than blue eyes).  However, my favorite Christmas movie remains the original Miracle on 34th Street because Natalie Wood was one of my mom’s favorite actresses and Miracle was one of her favorite films.

    However, in this post, I want to highlight 10 movies that have either been overlooked in the past or else films that, while properly acknowledged as classics, are rarely mentioned as being Christmas films.

    1) In Bruges (2008)  — Two Irish hitman (Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson, both wonderful) hide out in Belgium during the Christmas holiday.  I love this film for so many reason but I have to specifically mention the performance of Ralph Fiennes, who plays an English crime boss with a foul mouth, a murderous personality, and a firmly held set of ethics.

    2) Brazil (1985) — One reason why I love Terry Gilliam’s dark satire is because I actually have quite a bit in common with it.  We’re both often misunderstood, we’re both pretty to look at, and we were both released in 1985.  While Brazil is now often acknowledged as one of the best and most imaginative films of the last century, it’s often forgotten that all of this film’s action takes place over the Christmas season.  If you’ve never seen Brazil, see it now.  But be aware that you’ll never look at Michael Palin quite the same way again.

    3) Three Days of The Condor (1975) — This espionage thriller (which stars a young, pre-Leatherface Robert Redford) skillfully contrasts cold-blooded violence with the bright outer happiness of the Christmas season.

    4) Eyes Wide Shut (2000) — Stanley Kubrick’s final film is a tribute to MK-Ultra conspiracy theories and features rich people trying to be kinky during the Christmas season.  Nicole Kidman does redheads proud with her performance here and we get to see Tom Cruise smoke pot.

    5) P2 (2007) — Rachel Nichols is trapped in a parking garage on Christmas Eve by a very scary Wes Bentley.  I have to admit that I’ve always had a morbid fear of either dying, getting seriously injured, or disappearing on Christmas Eve and therefore ruining the holiday for my family.  I guess that’s why P2 resonated with me.

    6) Silent Night, Bloody Night (1974) — No, this is not a killer Santa film.  This is the film where a bunch of former Warhol superstars (Ondine and Candy Darling being the most prominent) play a bunch of mental patients who massacre their doctors in a disturbing, sepia-toned sequence.  Years later, on Christmas, another former Warhol superstar — the wonderful Mary Woronov — comes to investigate.  This is actually a fairly good film from director Theodore Gershuny.

    7) Christmas Evil (1980) — Now this is a killer Santa film.  Harry is a loser who works in a toy factory but he’s obsessed with Christmas because, when he was a child, he saw mommy humping Santa Claus.  (Isn’t that a song?)  So, one Christmas, Harry dresses up like Santa and goes around killing neglectful parents and others who don’t have the Christmas spirit.  This is an oddly sweet film with an ending that brought very sincere tears to my eyes.

    8 ) To All A Good Night (1980) — Okay, this is another killer Santa film and it’s one of those early ’80s slashers where everyone dies because they’re total and complete idiots but two things distinguish this film from other Killer Santa slasher films: 1) it features not one but two psycho Santas and the movie was directed by David Hess, star of Last House On The Left and The House On The Edge of the Park.

    9) The Silent Partner (1978) —  However, the greatest of all killer Santas is to be found in this Canadian crime thriller.  Christopher Plummer plays a psycho bank robber who — disguised as Santa — robs a bank.  Elliot Gould plays a lonely bank clerk who uses the robbery as an excuse to steal some cash for himself which leads to Plummer eventually coming after him.  Plummer makes the scariest Saint Nick ever!

    10) Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) — This is pure grindhouse brilliance, a dark comedy and a metafictional satire disguised an action movie.  Robert Downey, Jr. is a small-time criminal who accidentally becomes a film star and ends up investigating a murder with a hard-boiled PI (a surprisingly self-aware performance from Val Kilmer).  And it all takes place during the holidays.