Playing Catch-Up With 6 Documentary Reviews: Packed In A Trunk: The Lost Art of Edith Lake Wilkinson, Requiem For The Dead: American Spring 2014, A Symphony of Summits: The Alps From Above, The Thread

Here are reviews of 6 documentaries that I saw in 2015:

Packed In A Trunk: The Lost Art of Edith Lake Wilkinson (dir by Michelle Boyaner)

In 1924, painter Edith Lake Wilkinson was committed to an insane asylum and lived the rest of her life in sad obscurity.  As a result of Edith’s commitment, her artwork never received the recognition it deserved.  That’s the idea behind this documentary, which follows Edith’s great-great niece as she researches Edith’s life and tries to get the art world to acknowledge Edith’s talent.  As an art history major, I really wanted to like this documentary but, unfortunately, it focused more on the self-important niece than on the artwork.  Matters were not helped by a lengthy visit with a psychic who claimed to have “contacted” Edith’s spirit.  For the most part, this was a missed opportunity.

Requiem for the Dead: American Spring 2014

This film takes a look at the hundreds of people who were murdered by someone using a gun during the Spring of 2014.  Some of the cases are examined in detail while other victims only appear for a second or two, quickly replaced by another tragedy.  The cases are recreated through 911 calls, news reports, and occasionally interviews.  It makes for sobering and sad viewing though, at the same time, it works better an indictment of our sick culture than as a call for greater gun control.

Southern Rites (dir by Gillian Laub)

Photographer Gillian Laub comes down to Montgomery County, Georgia, in order to take pictures of the town’s first integrated prom.  She sticks around to film the trial of an old white man who shot and killed a young black man.  The film has good intentions and it’s obvious that Laub is convinced that she has something important to say that hasn’t been said before but, especially when compared to the superior and thematically similar 3 1/2 Minutes, it quickly becomes obvious that neither she nor the film can offer up any new insight as far as racism in America is concerned.

A Symphony of Summits: The Alps From Above (dir by Peter Bardehle and Sebastian Lindemann)

A Symphony of Summits, which is currently available on Netflix, is basically 94 minutes of aerial footage of the Alps.  A Symphony of Summits was originally made for German television and the English-language narration track has a blandly cheerful, touristy feel to it that often doesn’t go along with the imposing images and the occasionally bloody events being discussed.  (The history of the Alps is not necessarily a peaceful one.)  My advise would be to turn down the sound, put on your favorite music, and just enjoy the beauty of the images.

Thought Crimes: The Case of the Cannibal Cop (dir by Erin Lee Carr)

Thought Crimes tells the story of Gilberto Valle, a New York Cop who, in 2013, was convicted, on the basis of comments that he made online about plotting to kidnap and eat a woman.  Valle claimed that he was just sharing a fantasy and that he had no intention of following through.  Eventually, a judge agreed with him and his conviction was overturned.  This disturbing and creepy documentary features extensive interviews with Vallee (who literally made my skin crawl) and examines some of the darkest corners of the internet.  Many times in the documentary, Vallee claimed that he would never actually hurt anyone and I didn’t believe him for a second.  (As a cop, Vallee accessed the police database to look up info on a woman he was fantasizing about abducting and cannibalizing.)  That said, Thought Crimes still raised some interesting issues about the internet as an outlet for fantasy and how seriously we should take it as an indicator for real world actions.  There are no easy answers.

The Thread (dir by Greg Barker)

The Thread is a 61 minute documentary about the Boston Marathon Bombing and how a group of wannabe detectives used Reddit and twitter to wrongly accuse a missing graduate student of being one of the bombers.  It’s interesting and occasionally cringe-inducing viewing experience, even if it really doesn’t offer up much original insight.  (Documentarians are always quicker to bemoan the rise of new media than to seriously investigate why old media collapsed in the first place.)  Among those interviewed about the rush to find a suspect is Sasha Stone, the founder and editor of AwardsDaily and yes, she is just as annoying and smugly self-important as you would expect.  (Thankfully, they did not interview Ryan Adams.)

Lisa Tries To Predict The Oscars!


Well, it’s almost here!

Tomorrow night, the Oscars will be handed out!  Now, I have to admit that, despite all of the time that I spent keeping up with all of the guild awards and the critics award and all the other precursors, I kinda lost interest in the Oscar race after the actual nominations were announced.  I took one look at Jeff Wells claiming to be solely responsible for the success of Birdman and Sasha Stone going on and on about Selma and Ryan Adams doing whatever the Hell it is that he supposedly does over at Awards Daily and I just found myself saying, “Fuck it, who cares?”

Seriously, 2015 will be remembered as the year that Oscar punditry jumped the shark.  Hopefully, within the next few years, new voices will emerge and we’ll be spared from having to deal with Jeff Wells, Sasha Stone, and all the rest.

The Oscar commentary this year has been so negative and so toxic and so predictably strident and so tediously bitter that I did get a little bit burned out.  It just hasn’t been as much fun this year.  When, earlier this week, I was reminded that the Oscars were this Sunday, I have to admit that I was taken a little bit by surprise.  For some reason, I had gotten into my head that the Oscars were next week.

But anyway, they’re not next week.  They’re tomorrow and that means that it is now time for me to try to predict who and what will win tomorrow night.  A lot of people are saying that this is the closest Oscar race in years.  But you know what?  They say that every year.

Remember how there were going to be a lot of upsets last year?

And, in the end, exactly what everyone thought would win did win.

I imagine the same thing will happen this year.

Here are my predictions!  I will be listing both what I think will win and what I think should win.

Need to kill some time?  Look through all the posts since November and count up how many times this picture has appeared on the site!

Need to kill some time? Look through all the posts since November and count up how many times this picture has appeared on the site!

Best Picture: 

Will Win: Birdman

Should Win: Boyhood

Best Director:

Will Win: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu for Birdman

Should Win: Richard Linklater for Boyhood

Best Actor

Will Win: Eddie Redmayne for The Theory of Everything

Should Win: Michael Keaton for Birdman

Best Actress

Will Win: Julianne Moore for Still Alice

Should Win: Reese Witherspoon for Wild

Best Supporting Actor

Will and Should Win: J.K. Simmons for Whiplash

Best Supporting Actress

Will and Should Win: Patricia Arquette for Boyhood

Best Original Screenplay

Will Win: Birdman

Should Win: Boyhood

Best Adapted Screenplay

Will and Should Win: Whiplash

Best Animated Feature:

Will Win: How to Train Your Dragon 2

Should Win: Big Hero 6

Best Foreign Language Film

Will Win: Leviathan

Should Win: Ida

Best Documentary Feature

Will Win: CitizenFour

Should Win: Finding Vivian Maier

Best Documentary Short Subject:

Will Win (random guess): Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1

Should Win: ???

Best Live Action Short Film:

Will Win (random guess): The Phone Call

Should Win: ???

Best Animated Short Film:

Will and Should Win: My Moulton

Best Original Score:

Will and Should Win: The Theory of Everything

Best Original Song:

Will Win: “Glory” from Selma

Should Win: “Hooray for Everything” from The Lego Movie

Best Sound Editing

Will and Should Win: American Sniper

Best Sound Mixing

Will Win: American Sniper

Should Win: Whiplash

Best Production Design

Will and Should Win: The Grand Budapest Hotel

Best Cinematography

Will Win: Unbroken

Should Win: Ida

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Will Win: Foxcatcher

Should Win: Guardians of the Galaxy

Best Costume Design

Will Win: The Grand Budapest Hotel

Should Win: Inherent Vice

Best Film Editing

Will and Should Win: Boyhood

Best Visual Effects

Will Win: Interstellar

Should Win: Guardians of the Galaxy

Guardians of the Galaxy

Well, those are my predictions!  Will I be right or will I be wrong?  We’ll find out tomorrow!

What Lisa Watched Last Night #72: The 85th Annual Academy Awards

Last night, I had a little party.  Me, my boyfriend, my sister, my best friend, and my 7,000 followers on twitter got together to watch the 85th Annual Academy Awards.


Why Were We Watching It?

If you love movies then the Oscars are like the Super Bowl.  Seriously, how could I not watch it?

What Was It About?

It was about the best of times and the worst of times.  It was about self-promotion, self-congratulation, and Michelle Obama.  It was about whether or not Seth McFarlane would self-destruct.  It was about rooting for the underdog and checking out who was wearing what.  It was the Oscars and, for 210 minutes, the nation sat entranced.

What Worked?

Brave won the Oscar for Best Animated Feature Film!  Seriously, that one award pretty much made the entire night for me.  Actually, there were a lot of good winners last night: Ang Lee for Best Director, Christoph Waltz for Best Supporting Actor, Paperman for Best Animated Short Film, and Jennifer Lawrence for Best Actress.  I was especially happy to see both Lawrence and Anne Hathaway win because, for whatever reason, these two actresses have recently had to deal with some of the most petty criticism that I’ve ever seen.

I also appreciated the fact that Quentin Tarantino, upon winning Best Original Screenplay, managed to spend his entire speech basically patting himself on the back while pretending to thank his cast.  It may not be remembered as the most classy speech in the history of the Oscars but it definitely served to remind us of why we love Quentin.

As host, Seth McFarlane was such a mixed bag that I’ve included him under both things that worked and things that didn’t work.  McFarlane started out surprisingly strong.  Unlike a lot of female critics, I wasn’t offended by The Boob Song and I thought it was actually a pretty clever parody of McFarlane’s public image.  (The joke was clearly meant to be on McFarlane and not the actresses mentioned in the song.)  Unfortunately, as the show went on, McFarlane occasionally seemed to be determined to live up to that parody.

Oddly enough, I really enjoyed Lincoln when I saw it but yet I still found myself happy to see it lose in so many categories.  I think it’s probably because Lincoln was so aggressively hyped and so many self-important Oscar pundits (like Sasha Stone) declared that Lincoln was the best film of the year before they had even seen it.  It was hard not to resent the condescending tone that was taken by many of Lincoln‘s online supporters.  Plus, it’s always fun to root for the underdog.  It’s hard not to suspect that if Ben Affleck had actually been nominated for Best Director then Steven Spielberg and his film might have actually won big last night.  But by snubbing Affleck, the Academy cast Steven Spielberg and Lincoln in the role of Goliath.

On one final petty note, I was happy to see Jennifer Lawrence win because I know her victory probably annoyed the editors of Awards Daily.

What Did Not Work?

I could have done without Michelle Obama showing up to present Best Picture. Yes, I know that Hollywood loves the Obamas but seriously, it felt rather Orwellian to have the First Lady suddenly pop up on TV and tell us why movies are so important.  The fact that she appeared with a few random soldiers behind her just added to the creepy vibe.

The much hyped Bond tribute turned out to be a bit of a bust, didn’t it?

The audience, which never seemed to be that excited about the prospect of Seth McFarlane in the first place, seemed to turn more and more against him as the show progressed.  As a result, once the Oscars hit the 120 minute mark, Seth started to come across as being a bit desperate to get a reaction — any reaction — from the audience.

Daniel Day-Lewis gave a good acceptance speech and all but surely I’m not the only viewer who was curious to hear what Joaquin Phoenix would have said if he had won.

In the end, the show just felt a little bit too bland for my tastes.  Unlike last year, there was nothing truly unexpected.  There were no hints of eccentricity.  No one showed up wearing anything awful.  Nobody made a fool of themselves while accepting their Oscar.  In short, the show was just forgettable.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

When Jennifer Lawrence fell on the way to accept her award, that was definitely an “Oh my God!  Just like me!” moment.  Seriously, I loved her dress but, from the minute I saw it, I knew she was going to have a hard time getting up to the podium.

Lessons Learned

Award shows are a lot more fun when things go wrong.

Lisa Marie Reviews The Oscar Nominees: The Oscar (dir by Russel Rouse)


I stayed up way too late last night but it was totally worth it because I was watching a film from 1966, The Oscar.

Among those of us who love bad and campy movies from the 50s and 60s, The Oscar is a legendary film.  It has a reputation for being one of best so bad-its-good-films ever made.  The Oscar is a film that I’ve read about in several books but, until last night, I had never gotten a chance to actually see it.  When I saw that the film was going to be on last night, I said “Sleep be damned!” and I stayed up and watched.  What other choice did I have?

The Oscar takes place in a world where women are “dames” and men are “fellas” and everyone acts as if they’re a character in a Rat Pack-themed fanfic.  One look at Frankie Fane (played by Stephen Boyd) and you know he’s the type of guy who snaps his fingers when he walks and probably uses pig Latin when he flirts.  He’s one cool cat and as the film begins, he’s been nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actor.

The film begins at the Oscars.  Frankie sits out in the audience, surrounded by Hollywood royalty and nervously waiting for the envelope to be opened.  The camera pans over to Frankie’s personal manager, Hymie Kelley.  Hymie stares bitterly at his former friend and suddenly, we hear his thoughts and do they ever let us know what type of movie we’re about to see.

As Hymie himself puts it:

“You finally made it, Frankie! Oscar night! And here you sit, on top of a glass mountain called “success.” You’re one of the chosen five, and the whole town’s holding its breath to see who won it. It’s been quite a climb, hasn’t it, Frankie? Down at the bottom, scuffling for dimes in those smokers, all the way to the top. Magic Hollywood! Ever think about it? I do, friend Frankie, I do…”

Hymie, incidentally, is played by the singer Tony Bennett.  This was Bennett’s first dramatic film role and it was also his last.  Whatever talent or magnetism Bennett may have had as a singer, it didn’t translate into screen presence.  Bennett goes through the entire film looking embarrassed but who can blame him when the script calls for him to constantly tell Frankie that, “You lie down with pigs, you stand up smelling like garbage…”

As we discover through the use of flashback, Frankie has had to lay down with a lot of pigs to get his chance at winning an Oscar.  After starting out his career working at sleazy clubs, Frankie, Hymie, and Frankie’s stripper girlfriend (Jill St. John) find themselves in New York.  Frankie dumps his girlfriend (unaware that she’s pregnant with his child) after he meets artist Elke Sommer at a “swinging party.”

“Are you a tourist or a native?” Frankie asks her.

“Take one from column A and one from column B.  You get an egg roll either way,” Sommer replies.

No wonder Frankie tells her, “You make my head hurt with all that poetry.”

Eventually, Frankie is discovered by a talent agent who takes him to see studio mogul Joseph Cotten (who went from Citizen Kane, The Magnificent Ambersons, and Third Man to this).  Cotten is so impressed with Frankie that he says, “Once in a while, you bring me meat like this.  It all has different names: prime rib of Gloria, shoulder cut of Johnny.  MEAT!”

With the help of savvy talent agent Milton Berle, Frankie becomes a film star but he’s still a total heel who cheats on Sommer and takes advantage of Hymie’s loyalty.  When Frankie gets nominated for an Oscar, he hires a sleazy private investigator (Ernest Borgnine, of course) to leak a story about Frankie’s criminal past.  Frankie assumes that one of his fellow nominees will be blamed for the leak and that he’ll be able to ride a wave of sympathy to victory.

And who are Frankie’s fellow nominees?  We only learn the identity of three of them – Frank Sinatra, Richard Burton, and Burt Lancaster.  We never find out what movie Sinatra was nominated for but we’re told that Burton was nominated for The Grapes of Winter (which, I’m going to assume, was a film version of a Shakespeare play about Tom Joad) while Lancaster was nominated for his amazing performance in The Spanish Armada.  Doesn’t that sound like an amazing film?

Oh, how to describe the delirious experience of watching The Oscar?  In many ways, it is a truly terrible movie but it’s fun in the way that only a “racy” film from the mid-60s can be.  Nobody plays his or her role with anything resembling subtleness.  Instead, everyone spends the entire film yelling, screaming, and gritting their teeth while flaring their nostrils.  Everyone, that is, except for Tony Bennett who gives a performance that has a definite community theater feel to it.  Even better is the dialogue.  People in this film don’t just say their lines – they exclaim them.  If you’ve ever wanted to spend two hours in a world where every sentence ends with an exclamation point, watch The Oscar.

For a film that was apparently meant to be something of a love letter to the Academy, The Oscar was only nominated for two Oscars.  It received nominations for Best Art Design and Best Costume Design.  While I had a hard time seeing what was so impressive about the film’s art design (in the world of The Oscar, Hollywood has a definite Ikea feel to it), the costumes were fairly impressive in a tacky, 1966 type of way.

Finally, I think it’s time that somebody remake The Oscar.  David Fincher can direct it, Aaron Sorkin can write the script, Jessie Eisenberg can play Frankie Fane, and Justin Timberlake would make for an adorable Hymie Kelley.  For the supporting roles, I think Billy Crystal would be a natural for Milton Berle’s role and perhaps Philip Baker Hall could step into the shoes of Joseph Cotten.  Perhaps veteran film blogger and self-described very important person Sasha Stone could make her film debut in Ernest Borgnine’s role.

Seriously, I think it would be a winner.

Do Critics Matter?

Do critics (specifically, professional film critics) matter?  In a word, no.

This is something I’ve been thinking about for a while now, ever since I came across an article by “professional” critic Sasha Stone in which she asked the exact same question and came to the exact opposite conclusion.  Her argument boiled down to one quote: “You see things differently when you’re 20 than when you’re 30.”

And she’s right.  I see things differently at 25 than I did when I was 13.  And I imagine that when 30 comes around, I’ll have a whole new set of opinions.  For that matter, I’m sure that as a Texan I probably see some things differently than how a native of California would see them.  As I mentioned in my previous review of Black Swan, a lot of my reaction to that film was due to my own history and experiences.  Would someone who has never had those same experiences have the same reaction?  Probably not.

So, yes, Sasha is right.  People see things differently.

And I’m even more right when I say that a 30 year-old critic matters about as much as a 20 year-old critic.

At the heart of professional film criticism is this elitist notion that somehow, Roger Ebert’s opinion is more worthy of consideration than some guy who actually had to spend money to get a ticket so he could watch the movie in theater surrounded by strangers while he eats rancid move theater nachos.

Ultimately, criticism is just an opinion and the only opinion that matters is yours.  Just because I hated Avatar doesn’t mean that Avatar is a terrible movie.  It just means that from my point of view, it sucks.  And, as much fun as I have explaining why I felt it sucked, that’s ultimately just my opinion.  Whether or not Avatar is a good film or if Black Swan is a great film , the only person that can answer that question is you. 

When it comes to film (and really, all art) I think we would do best to remember the words of Aleister Crowley: “Nothing is true.  All is permitted.”

This has been on my mind a lot recently as we went Oscar season and so many critics are now taking it upon themselves to announce which films are the best and we’re all expected to follow along with their opinions like lemmings going over a cliff.  Around this time, the old school film critics start to get paranoid about all of us bloggers who have the nerve to offer up our opinions on film as if our opinion matters.  That’s because most of these critics are a part of that generation that was raised to believe that only certain people were allowed to speak and that they only had the right as long as what they said was safe and predictable.  Independent bloggers scare them because it proves what we all know: that anyone can provide an opinion.

Perhaps that’s why they’ve been so enthusiastic about embracing The Social Network, a film that suggests that blogging was the invention of sociopaths.

But ultimately, a critic is just another person providing their opinion.  And maybe you respect that opinion enough that you’ll allow it to influence what you chose to see or not to see.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  To me, the best thing that a critic can do — and what I hope I can do on occasion — is make the viewer aware of a film that he or she might otherwise not be aware of.  If you see a film because I recommended it, I thank you and I hope you enjoyed the film as much (or as little) as I did.  And if you didn’t, that’s cool too.  I’m just a viewer with an opinion.

But when it comes to the movie itself, critics do not matter.  The only thing that matters is the individual viewer.  Art is the eye of the beholder.

At this time of year, we’re reminded that so much of so-called “professional” film criticism is simply about building a bandwagon and hopping on.  Here’s hoping that in the future, we set that bandwagon on fire and let it burn.

The Independent Spirit Awards

This year’s Independent Spirit Award nominations were announced yesterday.  The Spirit Awards are basically the Oscars for independent films.  By independent, of course, we means films that were not directed by David Fincher, written by Aaron Sorkin, and embraced by mainstream toadsuckers who should know better.

Anyway, you can find a complete list of the nominees at the IFC web site but that site — at least on my hard-working little laptop  — had been taking forever to load.  You can also find a nearly complete list over at but just be careful not to actually read any of Sasha Stone’s opinions while visiting the site.  Because seriously, she’ll turn you into a Roger Ebert-obsessed Stepford Wife.

Anyway, here’s the main nominees:


  • 127 HOURS


  • DANNY BOYLE – 127 Hours
  • LISA CHOLODENKO – The Kids Are All Right
  • DEBRA GRANIK – Winter’s Bone



  • TODD SOLONDZ – Life During Wartime

(Award given to the director and producer)



  • DIANE BELL – Obselidia
  • LENA DUNHAM – Tiny Furniture
  • NIK FACKLER – Lovely, Still
  • BOB GLAUDINI – Jack Goes Boating

(Given to the best feature made for under $500,000;
award given to the writer, director, and producer)



  • ANNETTE BENING – The Kids Are All Right
  • GRETA GERWIG – Greenberg
  • NICOLE KIDMAN – Rabbit Hole
  • JENNIFER LAWRENCE – Winter’s Bone
  • NATALIE PORTMAN – Black Swan
  • MICHELLE WILLIAMS – Blue Valentine


  • RONALD BRONSTEIN – Daddy Longlegs
  • AARON ECKHART – Rabbit Hole
  • JAMES FRANCO – 127 Hours
  • JOHN C. REILLY – Cyrus
  • BEN STILLER – Greenberg


  • ASHLEY BELL – The Last Exorcism
  • DALE DICKEY – Winter’s Bone
  • ALLISON JANNEY – Life During Wartime
  • DAPHNE RUBIN-VEGA – Jack Goes Boating
  • NAOMI WATTS – Mother and Child


  • JOHN HAWKES – Winter’s Bone
  • SAMUEL L. JACKSON – Mother and Child
  • BILL MURRAY – Get Low
  • JOHN ORTIZ – Jack Goes Boating
  • MARK RUFFALO – The Kids Are All Right


  • ADAM KIMMEL – Never Let Me Go
  • JODY LEE LIPES – Tiny Furniture
  • MICHAEL McDONOUGH – Winter’s Bone
  • HARRIS SAVIDES – Greenberg

(Award given to the director)


(Award given to the director)

  • KISSES (Ireland)
  • OF GODS AND MEN (Morocco)
  • THE KING’S SPEECH (United Kingdom)

(Given to one film’s director, casting director, and its
ensemble cast)

  • PLEASE GIVE (DIRECTOR: Nicole Holofcener)

To be honest, the only thing that really surprises me on this list is that Greenberg was 1) remembered and 2) an independent film.  Still, Greta Gerwig was wonderful in the film and it’s good to see here getting some recognition along with Dale Dickey, John Hawkes, Ashley Bell, and the cast of one of the year’s most underrated films, Please Give.

To be honest, it’s kind of nice — in these Social Network dominated times — to see that the majority of the films nominated here deal with, feature, or were made by strong women.  (Not to mention that 127 Hours is about a man who eventually has to chop off his arm because he wasn’t properly in touch with his feminine side.)

One last note — yay! for that Last Exorcism nomination though it would have been nice to see a nomination for Patrick Fabian as well.  Still, the Spirit Awards are as close as a deserving but out-of-the-mainstream film like this one can hope to get to the Oscars.

A Few Thoughts Before Actually Seeing The Social Network

Hi there.  Lisa Marie here.  I know that usually when I show up on this site, it’s too either toss up 6 more exploitation trailers or to present a review of a film that’s been unfairly dismissed (or foolishly overpraised) by the mainstream media.  It’s what I love doing and I hope everyone gets at least a little occasional pleasure out of it.  (If you don’t — well, please don’t tell me.  I’m surprisingly sensitive.)

Last week, I expected that, at this time, I would have posted a review (probably negative) of the mainstream’s latest attempt to make an art film — David Fincher’s The Social Network.

Unfortunately, life in general — and my body in specific — had other plans.  I’ve been sick since Wednesday and, for the first time in over a year, I did not spend my weekend at the movies.  It’s enough to make a girl cry.

(That said, I did spend most of the weekend lounging about in various states of undress so maybe concentrating on that image will help to lessen the sting of no Social Network review…)

However, while I may not be able to give you my Social Network review, I do feel that I can give you my Social Network pre-viewing review.

Just based on the evidence presented to me so far, the Social Network sucks.

Consider the evidence:

1) Peter Travers of Rolling Stone says that the Social Network will make me “believe in film again.”  Excuse me?  Francios Truffaut coming back from the dead — or at least Jean-Luc Godard making one more vaguely entertaining movie before dying– will make me believe in film again.  I refuse to join a religion based on a movie about fucking Facebook.  Sorry, Mr. Travers.

2) Andrew O’Heir at has compared The Social Network to — wait for it — Citizen Kane.  Hopefully, when the zombie apocalypse comes, Zombie Orson Welles will eat Andrew O’Heir first.

3) According to Rotten Tomatoes — the web’s greatest resource of Mainstream Opinion — The Social Network is the best-reviewed film of 2010 so far.  For a film to be that loved, it must be really needy.  And what do needy things do?  They manipulate, they lie, and they go out of their way to beg you to like them.  A great film doesn’t give a fuck what you think.

4) The movie stars Jesse Eisenberg who has already been in 3 great movies — The Squid and the Whale, Adventureland, and Zombieland.  Sorry, Jesse but only Giovanni Lombardo Radice is allowed to appear in four great films in just four years.

5) The movie is written by Aaron Sorkin.  This movie is being advertised as the “defining” movie as my generation.  Sorry, but the defining movie of my generation isn’t going to be written by some smug, 50 year-old, male, sexist, crackhead.

6) The movie is directed by David Fincher which normally would be a good sign except all the reviews are concentrating on Aaron Sorkin.  So, is our Mr. Fincher so needy for an Oscar that he’s basically abandoned his own vision in the service of some smug, 50 year-old, male, sexist, crackhead?

7) Apparently, this movie celebrates rich kids getting richer.  Just what America needs right now.  Yes, let’s celebrate the dumbfug toadsuckers of the world while the guy flipping your burger over at McDonald’s loses his health insurance.

8 ) The Social Network is apparently number one at the box office after this weekend and apparently has gotten great word of mouth.  You know who else got great word of mouth at one time?  Adolf Hitler, that’s who.  Up until it was no longer socially acceptable, the mainstream loved him too.

9) The Social Network has a really crappy, first draft title.  Seriously, that’s the name of the movie? 

10) Sasha Stone, over at, loves this fucking movie and to me, that’s reason enough to assume it’s going to be an overrated piece of foolishness.  Seriously, is a great site if you want to keep up with all the Oscar buzz but — when it comes to reviews — Sasha Stone, Ryan Adams, and the rest of the site are all so middle class and predictable.  (Of course, what do you expect from a site that regularly quotes William Goldman?)

So, that’s my pre-viewing review of The Social Network.  Hopefully, I’ll see it next weekend and be able to post an actual review.  Then we’ll be able to see if the film simply conformed to my own biases or if it truly is worthy of all the hype.

Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts on The Social Network and the growing chorus of mainstreamers who insist that this is the greatest film of all time.  Am I being too hard on it or is this yet another example of the mainstream emperor wearing no clothes?